The concepts of "cheating" and monogamy are some of the biggest deceptions ever sold to men. These hoes give the illusion of faithfulness (at least to YOUR knowledge she's not feral) but rest assured that one day she will terminate the relationship as if it meant nothing. When this happens and you're swimming through that shipwreck that she left you behind in and some debris from the past floats by reminding you of the missed opportunities you had, at this point the emotional and mental trauma will be greatly amplified. You'll feel robbed of YOUR right to experience because of baseless morals set forth by other members of society (men and women) who don't give a flying fvck if you were to disappear tomorrow yet expect you to live YOUR life by THEIR moral boundaries. And for what? For a relationship with some fvcking stray that ultimately meant NOTHING?! Women are all hypergamous so this whole loyalty business is just hogwash.
Also, there's no contract here. If there's no ring on her finger then it's NOT cheating. You don't owe her sh!t.
To answer your questions though: No you're not abnormal and there's nothing for you to fix. You're a guy and those impulses are part of your natural programming. The only way to get the 9.5 or 10 and have her (or them) be "loyal" to you is to be incredibly rich, charismatic, decent looking, charming and having the gift of gab to the point that these hoes know it'll be the biggest fvck up of their miserable existence to get on your bad side because losing you will be a catastrophic hit for them. At that point they'll be more than willing to share you, agree on exclusivity (only you having access to their bodies) and you won't even have anything to hide.
Quit restricting yourself to the moral boundaries set upon by others. It's a mental ball and chain. The real questions you should be asking yourself are: what do you have to do to reach that level of success and are you willing to do whatever it takes? There's no hypocrisy in being honest with yourself on what you want out of life. You came out and openly stated what you want. The desires you speak of are harmless but VERY FEW men are able to realistically live it out. What I'm telling you is about as real as it gets and I wish you luck on obtaining it.