Sometimes as luck will have it, we will be fortunate enough to spend the night with a girl very early in the relationship. While it's easy to imagine carefree sex happening rather instantly in this situation, the reality is that it takes time to get close to people.
The other night I had a second date with a girl who just turned 21. Our first date was to celebrate her 21st birthday. She (surprisingly) had agreed to go to another city with me to see a concert, which meant we had to crash at a hotel overnight. While the date was executed with perfection by myself, from the ride to the dinner to the concert to the hotel, sadly (ok tragically), as fate would have it, the hotel ended up having small twin beds instead of one king bed.
So, after what amounted to a rather long 12 hour date (from 2pm to 2am), I elected to carry her off to bed (it was a suite) and tuck her in and kiss her on the cheek and not try anything. She seemed to love being carried, but I didn't carry things any further. Especially given her youth and the 23 year age difference, I just didn't feel comfortable coming on strong. I generally find that girls let us know when they want sex. She seemed willing but not ready and I just passed out. Sex should just happen.
Also, I find that with girls I really like I tend to take things slower (Elvis never slept with Priscilla for the longest time). The final episode of Three's Company Season 8 (about to become Three's a Crowd) John Ritter really captures this phenomenon when he freezes in bed with his fiancé.
On the ride home she was asking me if I thought she was too young and she reminded me she had no problem with the age difference, so I may have thrown her for a loop by not trying anything, though that was not my intention.
In this situation, especially in hindsight, it's easy to second guess the delicate balance between "make the ho say no" or "leave her wanting more". They say love never dies of starvation, but of indigestion. Then again, sometimes you kick yourself for the rest of your life about "the one that got away".
Have you ever had similar situations and how did they unfold in the long run?
The other night I had a second date with a girl who just turned 21. Our first date was to celebrate her 21st birthday. She (surprisingly) had agreed to go to another city with me to see a concert, which meant we had to crash at a hotel overnight. While the date was executed with perfection by myself, from the ride to the dinner to the concert to the hotel, sadly (ok tragically), as fate would have it, the hotel ended up having small twin beds instead of one king bed.
So, after what amounted to a rather long 12 hour date (from 2pm to 2am), I elected to carry her off to bed (it was a suite) and tuck her in and kiss her on the cheek and not try anything. She seemed to love being carried, but I didn't carry things any further. Especially given her youth and the 23 year age difference, I just didn't feel comfortable coming on strong. I generally find that girls let us know when they want sex. She seemed willing but not ready and I just passed out. Sex should just happen.
Also, I find that with girls I really like I tend to take things slower (Elvis never slept with Priscilla for the longest time). The final episode of Three's Company Season 8 (about to become Three's a Crowd) John Ritter really captures this phenomenon when he freezes in bed with his fiancé.
On the ride home she was asking me if I thought she was too young and she reminded me she had no problem with the age difference, so I may have thrown her for a loop by not trying anything, though that was not my intention.
In this situation, especially in hindsight, it's easy to second guess the delicate balance between "make the ho say no" or "leave her wanting more". They say love never dies of starvation, but of indigestion. Then again, sometimes you kick yourself for the rest of your life about "the one that got away".
Have you ever had similar situations and how did they unfold in the long run?
