speculating on IL

[ev3nst3v3n]

I know speculating is kinda silly, and no one has the answers but check it out:

Had first date with HB7.5 wednesday. Actually met her on myspace. Went well, had drinks, wasn't akward, similar interests, nothing really negative about the date whatsoever. And I've had some doozies. When I drop her off I ask about setting something up for the weekend, she says she has a friend coming in town, busy whatever. So we tentatively talk about something next week and she says call me.

Cool, sounds good, just met her, no worries, looking forward to next week.

So I send her a light follow up email yesterday saying something like "I had a good time last night, looking forward to seeing you next week." Is it kind of pvssy of me to want affirmation? Shouldn't necessarily be. Anyway, she hasn't replied to it, and she's read it because you can see that on myspace. And now it's 24 hours, kind of ending the possibility of being too busy to reply with something brief.

The email was light, not clingy or weird, but I'm wondering if she's not interested.

Am I being a freak? Needing constant affirmation? I.e there's nothing to worry about, call her next week and see what happens.

or

There's a good chance she'd reply with something flirty if she was interested.

I know speculation is just that but I had to get it off my chest and I'm definitely not gonna talk to my boys about it or something.

I am in a bit of a drought and I really like this girl, but it's not like I'm coming off desperate or clingy. I don't think I did anything that would indicate that or onitisness.

any thoughts?

 

[xblitz44x]

"Am I being a freak? Needing constant affirmation? I.e there's nothing to worry about, call her next week and see what happens.

or

There's a good chance she'd reply with something flirty if she was interested."

Actually it's a little of both. If you flip sides for a minute and she was the one who messaged you telling you what a great time she had, you would have definitely responded with something BECAUSE you're interested in her. Conversely, if you weren't interested you would have either not answered her, or answered her with something generic just to humor her.

With that said, you are not her, and assuming that she's definitely not interested because she didn't reply to an e-mail will do you no good.

The dating game is rough because the object is to find somebody to care about, yet you have to start off purposely not caring about these people. Instead of thinking of dates as "she's interested or she's not interested", just go out, have fun, enjoy yourself, convey your personality and let the chips fall where they may. Speculating will do you no good because you'll begin acting on the conclusions that you've manufactured, instead of hanging back and waiting to see what's really going on.

Don't bother contacting her for the rest of the weekend. You've already messaged her and she knows how to contact you if she wants. If you don't hear anything by Monday, call her on Monday night. If you get her voicemail, leave a light, friendly message asking her to return your call. If she doesn't return your call, write it off.

Good luck

Blitz

 

[ev3nst3v3n]

Yeah, basically. And I know this. I just had to verbalize it, even if it's just text.


And LOL at "The dating game is rough because the object is to find somebody to care about, yet you have to start off purposely not caring about these people. "

So true, so backwards. Yeah, I definitely did not plan on calling her till next week. I guess I wouldn't be freaking as much if I wasn't in a drought. I guess she could still reply to the email knowing that we're not gonna do anything till next week, but yeah I just need to stop thinking about it.

The "just go out, have fun, enjoy yourself, convey your personality and let the chips fall where they may. " comment is on point.

 

[Desdinova]

I am in a bit of a drought and I really like this girl, but it's not like I'm coming off desperate or clingy.

Just from reading your post, I can tell the problem is that you ARE desperate and clingy.

After one date, you've discovered that you really like this girl. Why? Because she's more interesting than the two other chicks that you're dating, or is it because she showed interest in you?

After spending a couple of hours chatting with me over coffee, would you be willing to trust me with your car and house keys just because we had some good conversation? Probably not.

You're already placing this woman on a pedestal because she went on one date with you. She could have an STD or 12 kids from 11 different guys. You don't know her well enough from one date, so why is she so wonderful?

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Continue to pursue and date other women. After a while, dating will no longer be an emotionally exciting experience. It will become a fun activity.

 

[ev3nst3v3n]

You're kinda right Desdinova. I just don't think I've overtly manifested or portrayed the desperation/clingyness, maybe I have a little bit though. I think I've hid it pretty well, like I said, the email was light, it's not like I've told her "oh my god I love you, you're so awesome." And in person I didn't act desperate. Interested maybe, but nothing creepy or weird. But you're right, I need to get away from the pedestal placing behaviors.

 

[xblitz44x]

Although I wasn't on the date with you, I don't think your cling has manifested at all based on your post. Your message afterward is just fine. I've called chicks on the drive home, left them e-mails the day after, etc.

 

[ev3nst3v3n]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying xblitz. There is a little bit of desperation going on due to my drought, but I haven't shown it to her really. Chips will fall, we'll see. I would just love to rip her clothes off.

 

[xblitz44x]

Easy there, sailor. For now check out some porn to ease your troubles:

Porno for you

 

[ev3nst3v3n]

LOL thanks.

 

[ev3nst3v3n]

called her back just now. had some chit chat, asked her about going out this week, she gave me the i'm busy working all weekend, bla bla bla, said she'd call me when she has more time. i smell bs. the convo was mad one-sided and pretty much at the date the convo was one sided as well. i.e she was not very interested in asking me anything about me, just answered my questions more or less. but i thought it went well even considering that. like i said, not akward at all, etc.

i deleted the number, if she's NOT bullsh1tting, i'll wait till she calls back and see her again. but i'm definitely not calling her again. sucks too, i was feelin her for sure. and i didn't act needy at all on the date whatsoever. no clue what turned her off. ah well, numbers game, just need more dates.