Special concerns with gaming in a social circle?

[CoolRunning]

I'm 27, she's 30. She is a friend of my friend's FB. We talked at a party, and she seemed fun and cute, but I didn't #close. I guess that is one of the benefits of being a DJ, I'm no longer desperate - I can pick and choose as circumstances dictate.

Well apparently she's kinda into me, which is cool. The only thing I'd be looking for is a short term non-exclusive relationship, though, unless she turns out to be totally amazing.

I'm new at this. How do I do this such that I leave everyone happy? If the answer is be very clear to her about what I'm looking for and that I date multiple women, please descibe how to bring that up.

 

[Phyzzle]

What? Are you afraid she's going to fall in love with you, and be so devastated when you dump her that she kills herself and your friends blame you and they don't invite you over for tea and biscuits anymore?

What the fvck are the odds of that happening when you DON'T EVEN HAVE HER NUMBER YET?

But to answer your question, no, don't bring it up.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What's the deal with making everyone happy? Who gave you that assignment?

 

[CoolRunning]

You guys aren't very helpful. I am not very experienced in this stuff. I have no idea what the outcome might be of something going sour between me and her, if it comes to that. Or of me going out with her and doing something stupid or awkward, which seems a real possibility. Maybe I am just not confident in my ability to deal with people in a forthright way.

To answer your question, I don't have her #, but she talked to my friend and indicated her interest. I will have the # soon, I am sure.

 

[blueguy]

Maybe I am just not confident in my ability to deal with people in a forthright way.

You aren't when you say that.

I'm new at this. How do I do this such that I leave everyone happy? If the answer is be very clear to her about what I'm looking for and that I date multiple women, please descibe how to bring that up.

The result in trying to make somebody happy while sacrificing your own desires is that they end up having less respect for you. And a girl doesn't want to be around a guy she doesn't respect. If she isn't benefiting from the relationship, she'll bring it up. And don't shoot yourself in the foot either. Maybe somewhere down the road you will want something more.

 

[Vulpine]

CoolRunning, take a look at your signature. Now, go back and read your post.

Ok, now what? Is she going to be happy with only eye contact? Do you need her phone # to EC her?

How about you forget about her and finish boot camp, hmm? Read the bible, then get back to her. How's that sound?

These guys are slapping you around because you are a novice who needs to get off his butt and finish the prescribed work.

Going to stay at week 1 for a while (by choice) then move up.

What the fuq is that?

"I'm going to EC women for a while. Hey guys, how do I communicate telepathically to women I met through friends?"

You guys aren't very helpful.

...because you are supposed to help yourself.

 

[CoolRunning]

The sig is from January. I should update it. Since April, I have been in one sexual relationship and have been on about 10 day2's. Does that help?

 

[New Jeruz]

I have a friend who is in a relationship with a friend of a friend... did you get that? All these people are in our social circle. Now the girl that my friend is going out with was originally "good friends" with another guy in our social circle, who ironically has a similar personality with my friend. I guess the other guy never got the balls to take it any further now my friend has got her on lock. And the two of them never sat down like adults and told the other guy, which just caused tension in the group for a while because noone wanted to speak up about it. I know this is a different situation, but it's a little similar. First off, your not stepping on anyone's toes so don't even sweat it as far as offending anyone else in the circle. Second, get her email, phone number, urine sample... whatever, but don't put too much emphasis on her. Your new and you got a long way to go with plenty of stops until you reach the end as far as women wise. Just have fun with her and if anyone in the circle some how gets mad, then they aren't really worth your time, energy and friendship.

 

[bauer_23]

You guys aren't very helpful.

Because you are counting your eggs long before they have hatched, as the saying goes. Try getting her number and setting up a get together, than come back here with something concrete for people to help you with, as opposed to some jedi like premonition about the future.

Take it one step at a time. If you like her, hang out with her again. You will inevitably get burned if you go into this thinking relationship and the like, especially since it seems you have no options at this point.

 

[Desdinova]

How do I do this such that I leave everyone happy?

You have to accept the fact that you can't make EVERYBODY happy. You're going to piss a lot of people off: the other guys who want to fvck her, your mom who wishes you'd get married first, the gay guy who wishes you were gay, and the list will go on. What matters is that you make yourself happy, and respect those who respect you.

The only thing I'd be looking for is a short term non-exclusive relationship, though, unless she turns out to be totally amazing.

When you start dating / fvcking her, make it clear that you're not ready for a LTR yet. You wanna find the right person to have a LTR with. You need to point this relationship in the direction you want it to go, or you're gonna end up on her leash, and possibly be in a miserable relationship where she keeps your balls in a vice.

Or of me going out with her and doing something stupid or awkward, which seems a real possibility.

When you're new to the whole Don Juan way of life, you need to understand that things aren't going to automatically go smoothly the first time, the second time, nor the third time. It takes experience and practice to get things down packed. Don't expect to become a perfect lover right from the beginning, but work at improving each time you experience a different woman.

I don't have her #, but she talked to my friend and indicated her interest. I will have the # soon, I am sure.

....and until you get her phone number, you should be pursuing other women to fill in the time gap. If you never get her number, then you didn't waste weeks, months, or years thinking about getting it. You just moved ahead with your life.

 

[Latinoman]

I have no idea what the outcome might be of something going sour between me and her, if it comes to that. Or of me going out with her and doing something stupid or awkward, which seems a real possibility.

You do what men do...you take a chance. A risk. A calculated risk...of course.

That's part of seeing women. Maybe she falls in love with you. It happens. Maybe you fall in love with her. It happens too. maybe it doesn't work...happens all the time too.

So, in a way, you might be taking an emotional risk...and if it comes to that...so be it.

The important thing is understanding the consequences (good or bad).

And under your current situation (inexperience)...you can get more GOOD than BAD.