Speaking at an event where my EX will be

[The Gambler]

So funny fact...two of my friends have told me in the past week...they have seen her on both occasions she had tryed waving and to them and approaching them to say hello...which they both completly ignored...on both occasions she was with her knew guy I was told and they didnt touch at all in public to there eyes as well as her not looking perticurally happy...I assume the reason they told me this is because for the year we dated she literally COULD NOT KEEP HER HANDS OFF ME. My friends would get sickined by it. IDK if this has to do with her hamster spinning or low interest in her knew dude...but I thought I'd share this cause I found it quite amusing...I would think she would be more all over him infront of friends to try and get me to be jelous on the chance they may tell me...any insight or break down on this?

Man, you still want this woman. It's pretty obvious, because you care about every small, tiny detail regarding her. And I'm not knocking ya, by the way. You've done everything perfectly up to this point... But it's now time to be honest with yourself about what you really want. When you do decide, let us know and these guys will give some great advice. As you already know though, most people here will say it's a bad idea to get back together with her.

Keep us in the loop, bro!

 

[j0504s]

Man, you still want this woman. It's pretty obvious, because you care about every small, tiny detail regarding her. And I'm not knocking ya, by the way. You've done everything perfectly up to this point... But it's now time to be honest with yourself about what you really want. When you do decide, let us know and these guys will give some great advice. As you already know though, most people here will say it's a bad idea to get back together with her.

Keep us in the loop, bro!

Well Gambler you are right...my soft spot for her is still big...I think its a shame b/c I consider myself good with picking up women as do my friends...But when it comes to LTR i guess I suck...But I would like advice on what it would take to get her back...but at the same time is this possible with keeping my integirty? I have followed everything I was told to do so far as you guys see and i appreciate it...I know everyones going to say its a bad idea and i am pu55y B1tch w/e w/e...But I guess I'm asking what needs to be done if I do choose to commit to that route?
Thanks you all again...but honesty is the best policy especially with the bros on this furom...

 

[The Gambler]

Well Gambler you are right...my soft spot for her is still big...I think its a shame b/c I consider myself good with picking up women as do my friends...But when it comes to LTR i guess I suck...But I would like advice on what it would take to get her back...but at the same time is this possible with keeping my integirty? I have followed everything I was told to do so far as you guys see and i appreciate it...I know everyones going to say its a bad idea and i am pu55y B1tch w/e w/e...But I guess I'm asking what needs to be done if I do choose to commit to that route?
Thanks you all again...but honesty is the best policy especially with the bros on this furom...

There are people here who might say taking her back would be the end of the world... i.e. the sky is falling. I, on the other hand, think there's a decent chance you can make this work with her if you make yourself follow a few rules. The biggest rule being not to put her on a pedestal. You can be with any woman and make that mistake. What winds up happening is a woman's need for a strong, independent male goes unfulfilled when the guy she's dating turns into a spineless, whipped servant. You can be with this woman you adore, while basically keeping the attitude you have now!

Of course, if the two of you get back together, you'll start to show her more attention than you have lately, but you must make sure not to go overboard. Give her some space, and make sure that she gives you some -- even if you want to be with her all of the time, you know it is counter-productive. This woman craves the attitude you have now, right? RIGHT? So you have to find the happy medium between too much attention/praise/gift giving versus not enough.

She wants the person who you are NOW. I say give it to her. But do it gradually and make her work a little to get you. They LOVE that. They LIVE for that.

P.S. -- If she is batsh!t crazy, disregard everything I just said.

The Gambler

 

[Harry Wilmington]

You have to understand how a break-up works. A break-up occurs as the result of one or both parties having things about the other person that is persistently bugging them, to the point where they can no longer stand that thing and decide to leave. With that being said, the reason going back to an ex typically doesn't work out is because those things that caused them to dump you in the first place are still in place and will come back to serve as reminders to them about why they should dump you... again.

Example: let's say you're dating a woman that snores. It gets to a point where you spend half the time sleeping on your couch outside your room because being next to her doesn't allow you to get any sleep - but you can still hear her. Finally, you break up. A few weeks go by, and you start reminiscing about all the nice things she used to do for you. A couple months go by and you start missing her smile, smell, sex drive, etc. You begin to rationalize that your reason for dumping her - the snoring - wasn't such a big deal, and that you could always just get ear plugs. So, you take her back, and for that first week everything is good... until she sleeps over one night, and the sound of her snoring not only breaks through your ear plugs, but also causes a slight rumble in the bed. In your awakened state you realize: "Ohhhhh, THAT'S why I broke up with her..."

Same way with them, dude. Right now she's just reminiscing because she misses the parts about you that she DID like... but trust, if you two get back, the odds say that whatever bugged her the first time will pop up again and she'll dump you, albeit much quicker this time around. Listen to the wise men on here - 3 billion chicks in the world, man. You've got other options. Hope this helps!

 

[The Gambler]

You have to understand how a break-up works. A break-up occurs as the result of one or both parties having things about the other person that is persistently bugging them, to the point where they can no longer stand that thing and decide to leave. With that being said, the reason going back to an ex typically doesn't work out is because those things that caused them to dump you in the first place are still in place and will come back to serve as reminders to them about why they should dump you... again.

Example: let's say you're dating a woman that snores. It gets to a point where you spend half the time sleeping on your couch outside your room because being next to her doesn't allow you to get any sleep - but you can still hear her. Finally, you break up. A few weeks go by, and you start reminiscing about all the nice things she used to do for you. A couple months go by and you start missing her smile, smell, sex drive, etc. You begin to rationalize that your reason for dumping her - the snoring - wasn't such a big deal, and that you could always just get ear plugs. So, you take her back, and for that first week everything is good... until she sleeps over one night, and the sound of her snoring not only breaks through your ear plugs, but also causes a slight rumble in the bed. In your awakened state you realize: "Ohhhhh, THAT'S why I broke up with her..."

Same way with them, dude. Right now she's just reminiscing because she misses the parts about you that she DID like... but trust, if you two get back, the odds say that whatever bugged her the first time will pop up again and she'll dump you, albeit much quicker this time around. Listen to the wise men on here - 3 billion chicks in the world, man. You've got other options. Hope this helps!

Everything Harry says here can be true. That's why I suggest going back in slowly, if you decide to go back at all. And if she calls it quits next week, next month, or whenever, I guarantee she'll really be out of your system at that point. This all hinges on the new you, which will force her to make changes to her old behavior. If she isn't what you're looking for or is unwilling to be the partner you want, you can tell her it isn't working and move on. You can have the power here.

Do I think the two of you will celebrate your 50th wedding anniversary one day? Probably not, but who knows? All I do know is that you can do this for as long as it serves YOU. Lots of guys here talk big game about being in charge and building the frame, but when it comes to what they actually do, most of them are too scared to take a little chance and roll some loaded dice.

You can roll dice that are loaded in your favor. Some guys just don't get it.

The Gambler

 

[j0504s]

Everything Harry says here can be true. That's why I suggest going back in slowly, if you decide to go back at all. And if she calls it quits next week, next month, or whenever, I guarantee she'll really be out of your system at that point. This all hinges on the new you, which will force her to make changes to her old behavior. If she isn't what you're looking for or is unwilling to be the partner you want, you can tell her it isn't working and move on. You can have the power here.

Do I think the two of you will celebrate your 50th wedding anniversary one day? Probably not, but who knows? All I do know is that you can do this for as long as it serves YOU. Lots of guys here talk big game about being in charge and building the frame, but when it comes to what they actually do, most of them are too scared to take a little chance and roll some loaded dice.

You can roll dice that are loaded in your favor. Some guys just don't get it.

The Gambler

Gambler and harry thank you awsome info...so getting her back wat is the proper way to do this cause shevis dating someone else as u know...do I wait for her to contact me? Do I act the same as I have been when I see her if I radomly run into her?

 

[The Gambler]

Gambler and harry thank you awsome info...so getting her back wat is the proper way to do this cause shevis dating someone else as u know...do I wait for her to contact me? Do I act the same as I have been when I see her if I radomly run into her?

Never go out of your way to take a woman out of her current relationship. Just continue being the way you are with the attitude you have. She'll have to decide what she wants without you pushing her (it would take away your power and her desire). If her current relationship isn't great, it'll make her appreciate you even more. Keep raising your stock and minding your business.

 

[Purefilth]

Why are people advising him to get back with a BPD?

She's a sick puppy she can't be saved.

No. Don't. Run. You got out. Stay out.

 

[j0504s]

Never go out of your way to take a woman out of her current relationship. Just continue being the way you are with the attitude you have. She'll have to decide what she wants without you pushing her (it would take away your power and her desire). If her current relationship isn't great, it'll make her appreciate you even more. Keep raising your stock and minding your business.

So basiclly I sit back and wait. Nothings elsreI can do?

 

[The Gambler]

Why are people advising him to get back with a BPD?

If I remember correctly, I think I read somewhere that she was in her mid-twenties. If that's the case, chances are she's entering the zone where lots of women start to "grow up." Purefilth already knows this, but for anyone not familiar with what I'm saying, most women at that age are a couple of years out of college and are starting to learn about reality -- the reality about the GOOD men that are available, the reality about their own value outside of purely sexual relationships, and so forth.

She might indeed be BPD, but here's the point where we're gonna find out. Our boy needs to stick to the path of discipline and watch her grow up -- or not.

 

[The Gambler]

So basiclly I sit back and wait. Nothing else I can do?

Well, you can do just a little bit that goes a long way. When you see her at one of those meetings, be nice to her. Ooze confidence and sexuality. But do this when your paths happen to cross -- do not seek her out. Smile, be confident, and be glad you're speaking with her. But cut it off sooner than later. She will go absolutely crazy wanting more of you, and that's the point. Let her go home thinking about you.

Remember, her current boyfriend can be her emotional tampon. You shouldn't be. You have things to do.

Be confident, strong and in control of your surroundings. She'll want to be a part of your world, but she has to earn it. Right?

 

[j0504s]

Well, you can do just a little bit that goes a long way. When you see her at one of those meetings, be nice to her. Ooze confidence and sexuality. But do this when your paths happen to cross -- do not seek her out. Smile, be confident, and be glad you're speaking with her. But cut it off sooner than later. She will go absolutely crazy wanting more of you, and that's the point. Let her go home thinking about you.

Remember, her current boyfriend can be her emotional tampon. You shouldn't be. You have things to do.

Be confident, strong and in control of your surroundings. She'll want to be a part of your world, but she has to earn it. Right?

I understand oozing confidence. But how would I do the same with sexuality with out going overboard and making her think she has me? Can u give me an example? Thanks

 

[Purefilth]

She might indeed be BPD, but here's the point where we're gonna find out. Our boy needs to stick to the path of discipline and watch her grow up -- or not.

fair shout

 

[The Gambler]

I understand oozing confidence. But how would I do the same with sexuality with out going overboard and making her think she has me? Can u give me an example? Thanks

Review some of the kino threads here on the site and in the DJ bible. If she comes up to speak with me, I would place my closest hand on the small of her back and kind of hunch down to put my ear closer to her mouth (this is assuming you're in a crowded, chatty room).

When you cut off the conversation, give her a friendly hug before moving along.

Bait the hook, baby....

 

[MikeOck]

so getting her back wat is the proper way to do this cause shevis dating someone else as u know..

Do yourself an enormous favor and stop thinking about how you can get her back. She dumped you with the old "I just want to be single" line and then went straight to a new guy, who she is currently getting ****ed by, and you want advice on how you can get her back? Have some self respect and forget about her.

 

[j0504s]

Review some of the kino threads here on the site and in the DJ bible. If she comes up to speak with me, I would place my closest hand on the small of her back and kind of hunch down to put my ear closer to her mouth (this is assuming you're in a crowded, chatty room).

When you cut off the conversation, give her a friendly hug before moving along.

Bait the hook, baby....

I feel that shes going to know I want her back with the kino and everything. Limiting my time speak to her nake her wa nt more makes sence but doesn't it kill it if she knows or is thst the point? Or will she not rly know and just think maybe?

 

[j0504s]

Anyone?

 

[Purefilth]

I feel that shes going to know I want her back with the kino and everything. Limiting my time speak to her nake her wa nt more makes sence but doesn't it kill it if she knows or is thst the point? Or will she not rly know and just think maybe?

Acting indifferent while instigating a little Kino will get the hamster spinning, she won't know for sure, and that is how you should keep it. Never let her feel secure, or that she owns you again.


I still say run bro. Run.

 

[Atom Smasher]

j0504s,

How does it feel to be owned by another human being? To have a person living in your head 24/7 while you pay their rent in emotional currency?

Self-respect.

 

[cordoncordon]

Yeah Atom is right on here. OP you really just need to let go. We have talked privately and I know you care about her still, and it seems as if your goal here is not to move on, but to get her back.

I would encourage anyone here who is giving OP this kind of advice as well to knock it off. This girl is bad news for OP and someday he will realize this.