Soulmates and AW

[jhonny9546]

How do you know if a woman has oneitis, thinks someone is her soulmate, or is an "alpha widow" of someone she is in a relationship with? In this case, How do you know if the man she is currently with is really the alpha she thinks of as her soulmate, or if he is not?

Also, Could it be that you be an alpha widow without having had sex with her? (A girl was all over me for over six years, but we did not have sex at all)

 

[The Duke]

I don't think you really know until after the relationship ends. I've got two ltr exes that I still hear from many years later. They have both told me that no one will compare. They've both asked if I would ever get back with them more than once. They have both seen therpists to try and process things and move on. They never were as attracted to the guys that replaced me as they were me. They have both entertained the idea of leaving their current ltr to be with me.

Now, during the dating phase a girl that is super into you will be very supportive, cause little to no drama, cook for you, lots of sex, no complaining, no bitching, willing, follow your lead and she won't mind if things aren't balanced. She will treat you like a King. IF the connection continues to develop overtime you have a good chance of being her #1.

And to answer your question about the girl you never had sex with, no its not likely. Thats just infatuation/fantasy/lust/dreaming/an ideal/seeing what they want to see and not seeing the entire picture.

I feel sorry for the guys that don't understand why you need to be #1 in her life and those feelings she has need to run deep if you are going to make it long term. It also helps with respect, support, bitchiness, compliance, etc.

The better you are socially, the more you will influence, understand and connect deeply with women, and the more that will lead to long term success.

 

[jhonny9546]

They have both entertained the idea of leaving their current ltr to be with me.
.. Thats just infatuation/fantasy/lust/dreaming/an ideal/seeing what they want to see and not seeing the entire picture...

These two points are connected:
There is some truth in what you say, and surely they consider you their first choice, but if you think about it, women who would like to get back with you do so because women are often never happy with their current situation.
It's like always seeing that the grass is greener on the other side. Once they "catch" You, they will start to look elsewhere. Did they ended your LTR or You, by not accepting their behaviour?

Anyway, your comment is very majestic and contains concepts that certainly an inexperienced man like me can't really understand yet.

I feel sorry for the guys that don't understand why you need to be #1 in her life and those feelings she has need to run deep if you are going to make it long term. It also helps with respect, support, bitchiness, compliance, etc.

The better you are socially, the more you will influence, understand and connect deeply with women, and the more that will lead to long term success.

Especially in this part.
Did you behave as a DJ who did not settle, or a man with 1 LTR, traditional family, but active socially with women?

 

[The Duke]

Did you behave as a DJ who did not settle, or a man with 1 LTR, traditional family, but active socially with women?

The first LTR was my marriage. I was no beta, but didn't understand enough about women and how they thought and operated. I also needed to be more social. At times I didn't give her the attention she needed. Over time, we both quit working on our relationship and it slowly eroded. There are always many reasons that lead up to why these things end. Even with all that I wasn't, I was still her #1. She has told me that since. I'm not sure who exactly ended this relationship. She was the one that cheated. I considered getting back with her but didn't and filed for divorce on her.

The 2nd failed LTR, I knew what I was doing. My behavior was on point. By then I had been with many women and understood a lot more of male/female dynamics. I ended the relationship.

 

[jhonny9546]

At times I didn't give her the attention she needed. Over time, we both quit working on our relationship and it slowly eroded.

You say this as if you now see your relationship really clearly.. Like a ship that must be guided to a destination and you know the way to change course each time. Very wise.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Also, Could it be that you be an alpha widow without having had sex with her? (A girl was all over me for over six years, but we did not have sex at all)

I don't really believe in the "alpha widow" term but yeah. E.g. I met a girl once in a foreign country, we chatted all night then I left to fly home. We stayed in touch by email and she was absolutely ga-ga over me, I had to back away. A few years later we wrote each other again and made plans to meet on a trip. She had a live-in boyfriend and she literally broke up with him and met me on this trip and we fukked the whole time. Went back to our respective countries. I had to back away from her again as she wanted a LOT more than I did and that's not where I was at the time. She is now married with kids, I know this because she reached out during the pandemic.

So either she's a little cuckoo or I activated something inside her that no other man has. Or both. I think you have to be a little bat shyt to be an "alpha widow." Healthy relationships don't use up that much headspace. It's nice for the ego and makes for torrid flings but I know how girls like that are in the long term and it ain't fun.

 

[jhonny9546]

Interesting story!
I always read story and

fukked the whole time

this comment show up and you never understand what it really means.
Like you had sex every hour?

 

[Vanderdonck]

Interesting story!
I always read story and
this comment show up and you never understand what it really means.
Like you had sex every hour?

Well not that much. I was younger but not a machine, lol. But each day anyway, at least once.

So she was sprung for me both before and after the consummation.