SoSuave666 said:
Point of the story is this: women aren't the ones who believe in "true love" or a "romantic first time." They will lose it to whomever they want to--the man that makes them drip. Men on the other hand are the true lovers. We work all these things out in our head that convince us that these pretty innocent little women are really what they claim to be. Trust me, even the most innocent ones are NOT the angels you perceive.
My own integrity and pride forced me to have a meaningful first time. If you don't share those views, I completely understand. What will happen though after your first time, whether you built it up or you didn't, is that eventually sex will just become sex. A hole is a hole, my brother. It's really nothing that special, I promise. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you will let go of the control other people (women especially) can have on you. Good luck bro, and report back when you do finally lose it. Something tells me you will be very underwhelmed.
I wholeheartedly agree with your first point. It's sad, but true. Many men like to think of women as these beautiful, innocent, pristine angels, when in reality they are even worse than men sometimes when it comes to their moral integrity. Women will cheat on a whim because of "feelings", whereas men, generally-speaking, will stay logical and adhere to higher ethical standards. The chick I talked to online used to tell me bullsh** like "Oh Jibbles, if you only knew how much I want you" and say "What would you do if I were to fall for you?", only to ditch me when I revealed my feelings to her. F***ing b****. I mean, I don't have much experience with girls, but Pook was right when he said that many divorces end up with the man cherishing the woman, and the woman hating the man.
Anyway, you and other posters are right: it is just a hole. But it's still a big psychological hang-up for me anyway. I think I have performance anxiety. Maybe I fear the awkwardness of that first kiss or first f***.
Mr Wright said:
Dude I hope you're not saving yourself for "that perfect girl" because more likely than not, it wont happen. She doesnt have to be stunning, like i'd say most guys lose their virginity to average girls...no one's banging models from the get go.
How about you try and kiss a girl before wondering about losing your virginity, take baby steps. You're looking to score a home run when you cant even hit the ball...from my experience getting a girl to kiss you is quite easy, to get a girl to sleep with you, when you have little game, you have a put the groundwork in.
Let me tell you, I'm NOT holding out for the "right" girl. In my previous posts, I mentioned cousins trying to hook me up with their girlfriends, and that one time where the chick was drunk and jumped on top of me. Immense fear held me back from acting in these situations, not some unrealistic ideal of love or monogamy.
Overall, I think you're right when you said I'm focusing too much on losing my virginity and not that first kiss. I think you brought up a really good point. This is where I think I have set my standards too high: not on the quality of the girl, but on the quality of how I seduce or sexually-perform on a girl. In that sense, I'm being too much of a perfectionist. When I fantasize some dating scenario with a girl, I'm expecting to bring her home, have a hardcore make-out session, and f*** her brains out like it's some porn film.
Does anybody (namely virgins) feel the same way? It's paralysis by analysis, I feel. Pathological perfection leads to hesitation, indecisiveness, and procrastination, which therefore fuels the vicious cycle of approach anxiety. The less I interact with girls, the more I get anxious, and the more I get anxious, the less I approach girls. Instead of just letting an interaction with a girl spontaneously evolve, I'm so focused on going for the gold right on the get-go that it just makes me freeze up around women. Hell, these days I can barely hold a five-minute conversation with a chick, let alone spend hours in order to eventually seduce her.
