Sosuave Money or Happiness

[5string]

It's an empty life if you have all the money in the world, but have no one to share it with. Those women and luxury items are like cocaine. Just quick fixes for the short-term.

I'd rather choose what gets me long-term happiness. But if I have to choose one or the other. It'll be money, power, and success. You can't love someone when you're broke. I rather be unhappy, I can cope with unhappiness, then be poor and struggling.

With how terrible the world is today, do you think people are meant to be happy? Or is unhappiness a fact of life?

Can't say I disagree.

Happiness is what you make it, with or without money.

Why not have the money too?

 

[synergy1]

Bunny....gotta disagree brother. I would much rather have money. Money relieves financial stress, provides me with security and gives me a degree of status. Additionally, it is another thing that attracts women. You know, the provider type, "he's got a good job/money and must have it together". Makes a man much more appealing if you will. It's ludicrous to believe that money cannot bring some degree of happiness to one's life.

I would rather live in a beautiful town home and spin some plates than be wrapped up with my "one true love" on a single bed in the basement of some dump I rented for 300.00 per month wondering how I am going to pay the power bill.

What you do is create a false dichotomy by stating that you are either loaded and ripping 8 balls off a hookers ass in your bugatti veyron, or living in a dump and on food stamps. Get real, there is a entire spectrum of wealth and standard of living you are forgetting. One can agree that someone who works 2 jobs and barely gets by would indeed be happier if they had a less stressful job and earned more. However, I believe that there is a diminishing returns with ones wealth beyond the ability to provide comforts. What I mean is that after you earn a good enough living to support yourself with some margin left over, that extra boost of income doesn't provide the same level of satisfaction.

I am not, nor have never been a millionaire, so I could be wrong here. Having been exposed to rich people, I can tell you with confidence that money doesn't correlate to happiness. Basically someone with a ****ty attitude towards life will have this attitude if they are earning 50 k, 100k, or 1,000 k annually. The idea is that these people have no legitimate problems and will always find problems to complain about. We might think its ludicrous that someone with 10 million in net worth is complaining about a 60k downside in their long investments, but what about someone from Nigeria who thinks we are crazy about having to replace the breaks in our 4 door car with a weeks worth of pay? To them, we live like kings ( we do , believe me), but its still a legitimate concern for us. All of us are trapped in our own little matrix and we don't even know it!

That said, the choice to me is obvious. Given unconditional wealth or happiness, I chose the later. Thankfully, we can do this to a degree. One can chose their profession, than chose to enjoy what they have in life. As an engineer and a bachelor, you can live a very fulfilling life. You are talking being able to own a bachelor pad, cool electronics, vacations, nights out. Ask 5/6ths of the world and that is being rich, and ask me and I would tell you I am very happy.

 

[Quiksilver]

While avoiding the extremes (billionaire...food stamp soup kitchen homeless guy), I think that one can leverage money to achieve happiness, but one will not have an easy time leveraging happiness (unambitious and poor) to earn a better standard of living.

I would be very happy with my childrens future secure and not having to struggle to pay bills. Money would solve this temporarily.

That being said, someone with a wealthy mind (perhaps related to happiness) cannot help but being rich... from my observation.

 

[5string]

synergy1

Get real? I believe I am.

I'm not into stuff like electronics, gold plated frisbees and other such non essential items. I do however like a level of comfort. It's nice to be able to take my wife out for a nice dinner and not to worry about the cost. It's nice to come home to a really great home. Do I overdue it? No. We shop for necessary items on sale and use coupons whenever possible. Of course some folks in 3rd world countries would no doubt believe I live a life of excess. Compared to the way they live, they would be absolutely right.

As for you, I really appreciate and respect your position. As I stated above, happiness is what you make it. If you have achieved it, well, that's all that matters.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

When you're older, kid, and start working, you'll understand the importance of money. Money is what makes the world turn around whether you like it or not.

Yoh, I got quite... "upset" when I read all the responses to this thread. I just got a buildup of negative emotions and all that stuff, simply because people were disagreeing with what I thought.

I think this thread was wrong from the beginning, when saying "happiness is dependent on "that special someone".
I think dont really think anyone here should post advice in this thread unless they actually have achieved permanent happiness or are financially abundant. This is just the blind leading the blind.

Back to the quote: What do you base that on? I haven't seen the system set up by society provide anyone with true happiness yet.

Some people with 40000 a year and people with 4000 a year end up with the same amount of profit by the end of the year, it's about how you spend your money.

Money is materialistic and can only lead to more materialistic things. Money does not lead to happiness.

 

[synergy1]

While avoiding the extremes (billionaire...food stamp soup kitchen homeless guy), I think that one can leverage money to achieve happiness, but one will not have an easy time leveraging happiness (unambitious and poor) to earn a better standard of living.

I would be very happy with my childrens future secure and not having to struggle to pay bills. Money would solve this temporarily.

That being said, someone with a wealthy mind (perhaps related to happiness) cannot help but being rich... from my observation.

Studies ( which I could cite if you really wish) have shown people have a poor concept of how they would feel about a future even in the future. The specific one I am thinking of asks people if they would be happier in one year if they were a quadriplegic, or a millionaire. The results show that both are about the same happiness - people acclimate quickly and resume their old bad habits ( or good ones) that they had before. How they are able to quantify these things I don't know, and maybe it would be worth digging it up for closure - I just wanted to cite it for illustrative purposes only.

While you think you could leverage money for happiness, do you really think anything about your worldview would change? Do you think that things that irritate you now will suddenly evaporate? What happens when the change isn't what you anticipated? These questions are for you to answer, and I won't pretend I know how your would answer them. In regards to me, I would predict that nothing much would change....a rather confident answer...

As for you, I really appreciate and respect your position. As I stated above, happiness is what you make it. If you have achieved it, well, that's all that matters.

Okay, my word choices might have been extreme. I felt you were creating a false dichotomy which might not have been the case at all. One key thing I find is that some people define "excess" differently. Seldom to people every think that "they" are living in excess, even though to me they seem to be. Take my friend who needed a 50 foot truck to move all his stuff...he didn't have a clue he was living in excess. Do you think that having millions of dollars and millions of things will make him change his mind? he is already waaay beyond what most people are and its still not enough.

People will always "need" more.

Again, its all relative which is why I honestly believe that having tons of money beyond the basics ( food, shelter) doesn't make a difference. The mindset goes from regular house and free education to a bigger house and a private education. Than it goes from an even bigger house, to an even more expensive education, than what car they 'need'. Each situation possesses its own sense of urgency, and there is never enough money to fill that gap.

One of my neighbors won the megabucks many years ago. He was middle class, and came onto millions overnight. He didn't stop his work and basically worked until retirement. From what I understand ( he was my math teacher for 3 years, gave me letters of recommendation for college), his life didn't change at all in regards to the overall outlook.

 

[5string]

synergy1......get this. It might give a little meaning to what I said above.

My birthday is next Monday. My wife asked me what I wanted. I thought for a moment, and really could not think of a thing. Sure, there is stuff I would like to have, but nothing that I needed. I decided I'd like to have a few friends over the saturday before and enjoy their company.

Could I have a bigger flat screen? Yep.
Could I get a Blue Ray player? Yep.
Could I get a couple new suits? Yep.
Could I get blah blah blah? Yep.

Do I need this sh!t? Nope.

I'm happy.

 

[Quiksilver]

I am family friends with a man who has upwards of $50,000,000 to his name in assets.

He told me once when we were talking, that it is generally the middle class that is unhappiest and most unfulfilled.

The wealthiest people are generally happy people, and poor people are generally happy people.

It is the middle class that is always struggling to keep up with one another and to appear wealthy, while those at either end of the wealth spectrum care not for appearances and frivolities.

So he told me.

 

[Jitterbug]

It's an empty life if you have all the money in the world, but have no one to share it with.

If you have all the money in the world, there will be plenty of people who would do anything to share it with you.

All of you miserable rich people: send your money my way.

 

[Rogue]

Let's say you have two choices: Money or Happiness. Which would you chose?

Since this is a dating advice forum, Happiness here is defined as having the one special girl that you can really passionately love for the rest of your life. And if you chose money, it means you will never be able to have that. If your DJ skill is good, an empty life of moving from one random chick to the next is the best you'll ever have.

For what the hypothetical question was worth, I would rather choose money than a soulmate who doesn't actually exist. If you think about it, passionate relationships are really moving from one random chick to the next. Every relationship has a shelf life. Relationships are transient. Love is conditional. Relationships run their natural course—you have fun, you savor the good times, but the passion gradually eventually looses steam, and you depart your separate ways. There is nothing necessarily impoverished about this point of view. Whenever I think about this topic, I always fondly remember Roger Ebert's review of the wonderful movie High Fidelity:

The women I recognize, too. They're more casual about romance than most movie characters, maybe because most movies are simpleminded and pretend it is earth-shakingly important whether this boy and this girl mate forever, when a lot of young romance is just window-shopping and role-playing, and everyone knows it. You break up, you sigh, you move on. The process is so universal that with some people, you sigh as you meet them, in anticipation.

I'm a realist. I would rather have money and enjoy the joys life has to offer alongside randomly fascinating ladies, for varying durations of time, rather than be destitute clinging onto the myth of eternal everlasting passion.

 

[BBbardot]

BBbardot,

I know you're young, and many girls your age dream of finding that alpha Mr. Big prince charming who sweeps them off of their feet and declares his love. But you will find life does not work that way for the majority of women.

Instead, you will fight and claw your way for quite a few years to get pieces of the alphas that you want. At first you may be successful and getting their time for a little while, but you will grow angry and resentful as they chase other women too.

Finally, by the late 20's, you will realize (if you are smart) that your window of opportunity is closing. Then, to acheive the family you so desire, you must settle for a less exciting, not nearly so hot acceptable man, whom you will always project your alpha fantasy desires on, and while you will grow to love him, it will never measure to the flame you had for those guys in your 20's.

The irony is that this man will worship and cherish you. But that matters not one bit. You will continue to dream about that alpha man who gave you special nights for at least a short time in your life.

Ah, true love.

the thing is, i'm not a random skank and I have much more than my body. there is not such a thing as a window of opportunity closing at my late 20's

I've actually found my love.

that post sounds like a bitter post of guy that thinks he is "good enough but not great" and that thinks life just doesn't get better than this....

the thing is I never see what you talked about happening around me. My mother found her love at 35 and he is the brightest most handsome most successfull person i know. he is her dream man they love each other, they argue, they fix things, they love each other even more.

you can stick to that sad and pathetic version of life, and i stick to mine. I think i'm mature enough for my age, my brain is kind of set by now, and i know how things roll, I know how many men are, my bf is just like any other, but we are smart enough and we love each other enough to make things work for ages, it's my beleif, it's his.

When i stopped being in love with my alpha millionaire ex bf, guess what, i walked away. So don't expect me to settle for a guy i don't admire and love by the fear of being alone, in the foreseeable future^^.

I think you should start seeing life a bit brighter. Life is hard, keeping a hopefull sight of life and not beleiving in fatality is the only way to have it beautifull and happy.
your sight is pretty depressing, and might be true for many persons, but being right about that won't make you happy ( and by happy and beautifull i'm not saying it will be like that all the time. But when you will die and look back, you will be able to say youve known happiness without lying to yourself)
there is many things that you should know the sad truth about, cause it permits you to watch out for it and maybe prevent it from happening. But being aware that life might get horrible at some point doesn't fall into that category.
at the end of the day i'm 17 and deep in love with a wonderfull guy. And you hang out on ss looking for some light trying to convect your sadness to a young woman. I don't mean to say it's pathetic, but please don't try to put me down while being in that position... that's just foolish...

 

[backbreaker]

ripping 8 balls off a hookers ass in your bugatti veyron,

hum..

 

[synergy1]

At 17, you have barely begun to see the world and its people for who they are , not even close. Do not misconstrue the world for how you are treated now, as this will inevitably change as the years go on. I am 30 right now and feel like I know "less' than when I was 17 too, but my perspective is chiseled out of experience and wisdom. You haven't seen death, been hurt, lost a job, or faced any true adversity. So you might have walked away from your last bf, but what happens if your future bf of 3 years cheats on you. This could change your perspective greatly.

also remember cultural differences. what danger describes is pertinent to American women. To be clear, I get girls. I have no issues with it. I am confident. YET, I still see this scenario playing out amongst my girlfriends whom are all older. It has nothing to do with self perception so much as observation.

you got a long journey ahead of you kid. Enjoy the bumps, and have some fun learning along the way. I am almost twice your age and still have lots to learn myself. Thats what makes life exciting.