SoSuave.com may have lowered my "game". (my last post)

[Kaizen]

If you're a novice, or an AFC. None of the following was intended for you.


I dont know if its this website that is to blame, or maybe its just me. Something I realized recently is before I discovered this website, I was so much more successful with women, and it used to be so much more fun. My point is that this website breaks down the "game" to it's smallest little details to understand it all. So how I feel is that its actually doing more harm than good.... to some. The breakdown of it all is something that should not be done. I feel that this all is something that should be just done... and not broken down to understand... to be conscious of.

Perhaps its like driving a car. First reading material might help.. some may not need it though. Once you're behind the wheel.. all that material is put into use... but slowly disapears to be replaced with natural instincs. To have to worry about the little details about driving... passing on the right.... constantly watching to be at the exact mph... full complete stop... looking at all mirrors before changing lanes.. using signals... most if not all have become second nature... but to be conscious of it all would leave you in a car accident. Extra material would be good to learn beyond normal driving... drifting... proffesional racing and so on.

I dont know if I have made any sence, but that is how I feel. This may be one of my last post... even though I dont post much to begin with. I'll probably still be around everyonce in a while because of the "anything else" section. To those that wont see me again, good bye. To those that dont care, screw you too To those that dont know who I am.. dont worry, I'm not worth knowing. Take care everyone! And HAPPY HUNTINGS!

 

[stormwriter]

Well, there was probably a reason you came to this site in the first place. Are you happy with your dealings with women? Do you feel you are as successful with women as you want to be? Do you get dumped, or do you do the dumping? Have you made the same mistakes in different relationships?

Everyone has little things they would like to change in the "game" with women. Personally, one of my best, most natural talents is that women feel "comfortable" around me. I don't even have to TRY to make them feel comfortable - it's a part of me. So, i don't need to work on that, cause i've been told 20 times that women are comfortable around me. However, some guys DO need to work on that. I need to work on SHUTTING MY MOUTH, BEING TOO AVAILABLE, and TRYING TO BUY THEIR AFFECTION.

So, now that i've pinpointed these areas i need to work on, my "game" is that much better off. I've pinpointed these areas to work on, cause they've caused me trouble NUMEROUS times with NUMEROUS women.

"Knowing is half the battle..." - G.I. Joe

So, by coming here, i can talk with other guys having the same problems. They tell me what does and doesn't work for them. They listen and respond to my problem.

I KNOW i won't be able to change my entire personality. That's difficult, cause your personality is what comes naturally, and you are ALWAYS flying by the seat of your pants when talking to women. I'm trying to change the other things that i have TIME to think about and fix. Things that happen when i'm NOT NECESSARILY sitting with the woman, like:

- How often i call
- Do i pay for dinner next time, or let her?
- Do i email her every morning?
- Do i invite her out for this weekend
etc, etc.


If you want to get back to your driving your car analogy, here's what happened to me:
I have a kickass sports car that i've put body parts on. It looks like something out of The Fast and The Furious. OK, so i wasn't paying attention and while i was backing up, i backed OVER A CURB AND THRASHED THE GROUND EFFECTS ON MY CAR, COSTING HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS OF DAMAGE. One quick - two second - decision cost me money, time, and stress with something i LOVE, and that's my car.

I love ME, more than my car. So, i've "backed over the curb" with women far too many times, and it's pissing me off. I won't let it happen again. So, next time i'm backing up, you can f**king bet my eyes are open, cause i'm not going to thrash my car, or my life - AGAIN.
It's almost like a curse now, cause everytime i put that car in reverse, i'm looking around like a madman, verifying any curbs are there.

But you know what happened? I got another speeding ticket. Insurance almost dropped me. So, now, everytime i'm driving down the road, i'm scanning for COPS.

If it's not one thing, it's another. There's ALWAYS SOMETHING to be working on. NOBODY comes out of the womb knowing how to deal with people or women. It's a continual learning experience. But the cool thing is we are talking about something within your ability to control. Notice we haven't mentioned about what you look like, or how much money you make?

David Deangelo, in his book "Double Your Dating" states that, "The good news is that as far as i'm concerned, your personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-women game. Fortunately, it's the one thing you can change. And it's the one thing that can OVERCOME all of the rest. After you've done what you can to look your best, etc. you have to develop a personality that's absolutely magnetic."

So, think about it.

Or not.

I choose to think about it, cause i'm not ready to get run through the wringer again by another chick.

 

[es_mer8]

A lot of times I ask myself why I am still here. Its been nearly a month since I came here and I made some terrific progress in this short time than I have with women or socialization in general my whole life. However I wonder at this point if I should remain or just leave. A lot of people come here as newbies and ask questions that seem to be the same. I did seriously consider taking someone's advice of posting an FAQ based off of my guide (which has been a failure it seems in terms of attention; v 1.2 won't be ready for another month at least if I'm going to do another version) but considering how repetitive a lot of threads are becoming, my guesses is that it'd be ignored again and shoved in favor of more newbie AFC questions that have been answered on the front pages.

I'm not really hating on newbies as when it comes down to it, I can be considered one but the fact that they think they have an individual concern when really, there are at least three similar threads that were already answered. I may just post that FAQ and then leave for an extended time until I appear with Analyzing the DJ v 1.2 or 2.0 eek: ) depending on how my success with women has changed or what methods.

This isn't my last post probably but I may be taking a break for a while after reading this thread.

 

[DJ Girevik]

A lot of the n00bs nowadays seem to forget the basics when it comes to all this, which can be read in posts such as "Be a Man!" and other "MUST READ" Bible posts, and act like their problems are somehow different than others that have been answered when in fact they aren't. Newbies like es_mer8 are a nice breath of fresh air

I'm sort of like that curious driver who rubbernecks and causes freeway slowdown. I mostly come here to read hilarious AFC stuff, such as stories or any new thread by Boricua, and read opinions on strength training, and to help people learn the fundamentals when they are forgetting them. Most of all though, I'm just a message board addict which is why I keep on coming back.

 

[Kaizen]

Originally posted by stormwriter
Well, there was probably a reason you came to this site in the first place. Are you happy with your dealings with women? Do you feel you are as successful with women as you want to be? Do you get dumped, or do you do the dumping? Have you made the same mistakes in different relationships?

The reason I stumbled on to this site was mearly by chance. I was looking in the psycolgy section in a book store since I love understanding how the mind works. My eyes passed over a book called... acutally, I dont remember, but it was about seduction. I read a few pages of it and was very interested. At that time, people considered me to be a "womonizer" or even a "player", I which I dont think I am. When I was skimming throught he book, I saw that it was talking about ALOT of the things I do unconciously! I went online the next day to see if I can find a rip of it online... where I happen to stumble on a forum that the search engine brought me to. To be honest... I dont want to sound ****y or concieded, but I never felt I had any problems with women. I was.. and am still... happy with my dealings with women. Of course I want to be better. Everyone strives to be better... hence my username "Kaizen". In my entire life.. I have only been dumped once... and that was my first relationship when I was just a boy. Since then, "I've had the world on a string.." ~Sinatra

Everyone has little things they would like to change in the "game" with women. Personally, one of my best, most natural talents is that women feel "comfortable" around me. I don't even have to TRY to make them feel comfortable - it's a part of me. So, i don't need to work on that, cause i've been told 20 times that women are comfortable around me. However, some guys DO need to work on that. I need to work on SHUTTING MY MOUTH, BEING TOO AVAILABLE, and TRYING TO BUY THEIR AFFECTION.

So, now that i've pinpointed these areas i need to work on, my "game" is that much better off. I've pinpointed these areas to work on, cause they've caused me trouble NUMEROUS times with NUMEROUS women.

I agree. One must "pinpoint" a mistake in order to improving on all the mistakes. But there is a point where one must draw the line. There is a point where it can be over done. We all know how to walk... but do we need to know the mechanics? Which muscle does what.. the tendons.. the joints.. the angle of the joints.. how the blood circulates while walking. I mean, there is a point where things can be over analyzed. "Analysis Paralysis", if you will.

"Knowing is half the battle..." - G.I. Joe

haha, I cant believe you quoted G.I. Joe!

So, by coming here, i can talk with other guys having the same problems. They tell me what does and doesn't work for them. They listen and respond to my problem.

I KNOW i won't be able to change my entire personality. That's difficult, cause your personality is what comes naturally, and you are ALWAYS flying by the seat of your pants when talking to women. I'm trying to change the other things that i have TIME to think about and fix. Things that happen when i'm NOT NECESSARILY sitting with the woman, like:

- How often i call
- Do i pay for dinner next time, or let her?
- Do i email her every morning?
- Do i invite her out for this weekend
etc, etc.


If you want to get back to your driving your car analogy, here's what happened to me:
I have a kickass sports car that i've put body parts on. It looks like something out of The Fast and The Furious. OK, so i wasn't paying attention and while i was backing up, i backed OVER A CURB AND THRASHED THE GROUND EFFECTS ON MY CAR, COSTING HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS OF DAMAGE. One quick - two second - decision cost me money, time, and stress with something i LOVE, and that's my car.

I love ME, more than my car. So, i've "backed over the curb" with women far too many times, and it's pissing me off. I won't let it happen again. So, next time i'm backing up, you can f**king bet my eyes are open, cause i'm not going to thrash my car, or my life - AGAIN.
It's almost like a curse now, cause everytime i put that car in reverse, i'm looking around like a madman, verifying any curbs are there.

But you know what happened? I got another speeding ticket. Insurance almost dropped me. So, now, everytime i'm driving down the road, i'm scanning for COPS.

If it's not one thing, it's another. There's ALWAYS SOMETHING to be working on. NOBODY comes out of the womb knowing how to deal with people or women. It's a continual learning experience. But the cool thing is we are talking about something within your ability to control. Notice we haven't mentioned about what you look like, or how much money you make?

David Deangelo, in his book "Double Your Dating" states that, "The good news is that as far as i'm concerned, your personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-women game. Fortunately, it's the one thing you can change. And it's the one thing that can OVERCOME all of the rest. After you've done what you can to look your best, etc. you have to develop a personality that's absolutely magnetic."

So, think about it.

Or not.

I choose to think about it, cause i'm not ready to get run through the wringer again by another chick.

We're pretty much on the same page. The site can help, but if one were to go to far... it would cause more harm than good. Some people have a natural abilty to work and interact well with other people. I developed skill.. but if it were to be analized, it may hinder rather than help. I pretty much agree with what you're saying. The point I wanted to make was to stear clear of falling into the "Analysis Paralysis" syndrome. We can learn from our mistakes. This site may help us learn from others' mistakes, and share and learn from mistake we relate to. That is all good, but the break down of the mechanics, I feel, is extremely damaging. I am willing to bet that this site has helped alot, but is also holding alot of people back from their true potentials.

 

[bust.it]

i don't see how this helps the aspring DJs around here...

 

[Kaizen]

Originally posted by bust.it
i don't see how this helps the aspring DJs around here...

I'll make the message simple. Learn what you need, and nothing else. Do not over analyze the game or else it will hinder you. Do not fall into the "Analysis paralysis syndrome".

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by Kaizen
I'll make the message simple. Learn what you need, and nothing else. Do not over analyze the game or else it will hinder you. Do not fall into the "Analysis paralysis syndrome".

I thought starting this thread was your last post.

 

[trueplayaz]

I respect youre point of view and see where ure coming from, but this site has been a godsend for many people - including me, this site pratically saved my life and then saved me $$$$'s in therapy after a deadly case of oneitis.

Everyone comes here at a different level and employs the ideas outlined here relative to their own lives and interpretation, therefore the impact upon an individuals life is wide ranging.

Anyway, much respect to its creators, whoever they may be (I've always wanted to know the history of this site)...

 

[bust.it]

Originally posted by Kaizen
I'll make the message simple. Learn what you need, and nothing else. Do not over analyze the game or else it will hinder you. Do not fall into the "Analysis paralysis syndrome".

Kaizen,

you really think that sosuave has hurt you more than helped you? wow, I am truly sorry then (not in a condescending tone at all). This site helps SO MANY individuals not only in "the game" but in many other areas of life.

If you think that you would have come out better having not ever discovered this site, that really is too bad. As hard as it is to believe, it must be possible.

However, sharing that with this community isn't going to help. It won't make people stop and say "hmm.. maybe he's right. This DJ stuff overanalyzes things". If you feel the way you do, that's fine. But to me this sounds more like a personal rant than advice for us on here who NEED this DJ stuff to learn to improve ourselves.

THIS POST, if read by the novice, WILL LOWER YOUR GAME. 95% of the people put their first footprints here AS AFCs.

 

[Kaizen]

Originally posted by bust.it
Kaizen,

you really think that sosuave has hurt you more than helped you? wow, I am truly sorry then (not in a condescending tone at all). This site helps SO MANY individuals not only in "the game" but in many other areas of life.

If you think that you would have come out better having not ever discovered this site, that really is too bad. As hard as it is to believe, it must be possible.

However, sharing that with this community isn't going to help. It won't make people stop and say "hmm.. maybe he's right. This DJ stuff overanalyzes things". If you feel the way you do, that's fine. But to me this sounds more like a personal rant than advice for us on here who NEED this DJ stuff to learn to improve ourselves.

You brought a good point. For myself, it was all because of the site, but it was a factor. It was more of the "breaking down" of the mechanics... whether it was an influence of the site or not. So I'll retract any comments that seemed to be directed to the site.

THIS POST, if read by the novice, WILL LOWER YOUR GAME. 95% of the people put their first footprints here AS AFCs.

Agreed... this would be harmfull to a novice. I'm glad we're on the same page here. As I stated above, its good to learn the basics and grow from AFC, to DJ.


btw... I have an understanding of what AFC is, but what does it stand for. And what does "oneitis" stand for?

Originally posted by crazykid
I thought starting this thread was your last post.

In a hurry to see me gone? Like I said, I'll still be around... but mostly because of the "anything else" section. If I'm here.. it wont be to further analyze and will be just for entertainment.

 

[stormwriter]

I found this in another thread, and it will answer AFC and one-itis:

Here are some of the acronyms explained
Here are some of the most popular acronyms that are used throughout the internet:

close (i.e. "I #closed her") ... usually means getting a number or email address.

@close: email
#close: number
*close: kiss
!close: sex

AFC - "Average Frustrated Chump. A phrase coined by Ross Jeffries to describe a healthy (read: horny) male not (yet educated in the art of seduction (which in Ross Jeffries' terms would be Speed Seduction, but that is much too limiting). A few typical traits of an AFC - hanging on to just one certain girl, supplicating, swallowing whatever crap treatment a woman gives him, being afraid to make a move, thinking in terms of "dates", eiter for lack of courage and/or knowledge being unable to do a pick-up or a close. "

CB - ****block...an object (usually an HB's friend) that acts as a shield between you and the HB. Guys CB as well.

EC - Eye contact

HB - A good looking woman...Hot Babe, Horny ***** or Hard Body, whatever

LJBF - "Let's Just Be Friends". AFC's get LJBF'ed a lot.

PUA - Pick-Up Artist. Someone who has picking up girls down to an art

RAFC - Reformed AFC...on his way to becoming a PUA

UG - Ugly Girl (UG 0 is especially ugly), the opposite of HB (Honey Bunny)

sarging - the actual activity of going out to pick up women. (i.e. we went sarging at the mall)

one-itis - being totally focused on one girl that you don't seek and meet other women

kino - physically touching her

TA - a turn-around. when you take a friendship and turn it into something sexual.

social proof - having that "stamp of approval" in the eyes of HBs when you have other friends and/or girls around you.

takeaway - withdrawal of attention from target

LMR - last minute resistance

IOI - indicator of interest. (i.e. smiling at you from a distance with ec, asking you questions, initiating kino, laughing excessively at your jokes, etc)

C&F - ****y and funny, a technique verbalized by David D'Angelo.
(courtesy-SBB)

 

[Drow]

Kaizen,

There is going to be a time when we all leave. You have to decide when that is going to be. It seems to me your satisfied with where you want to be (with women). You've said you never really had trouble with women.. thats great. Thats why most people are here.

..Maybe there is another reason your here. I don't know. It all comes down to if your satisfied with who you are. From what I've read about you, your very intelligent, wealthy, and have a lot going for you. Is there something missing? What is it? Maybe you don't even know yet..

In my opinion we can never stop growing and learning, but there is a point that we can get to that can hinder us more than help us. A lot of what applies here is meant to be taken in the real world and apply it accordingly. Not to be a direct set of rules and science to be understood and applied to a T.

Now ask yourself WHY is it hindering you? You think knowing 'too much' can actually hurt you. Yea possibly. But maybe it is because your not applying it to your own life accordingly.

Are you happy (with any part of your life)? Why or why not? My guess is you are happy, but not satisfied (are we ever?) and we all want to know everything we can get our hands on..

But you should NEVER LET ANYTHING DESTROY YOUR HAPPINESS. So if you think that this hinders you then leave. If you think you still can learn more that will be helpful to you, then stay. If you think that YOU can still help other people with your knowledge and advice then SHARE.

I realized something yesterday. The world is a reflection of your mind. You choose how things are. Think about it.

 

[Kwah]

Things is, some of us dont really have problems with meeting or picking up women.

Its sort of like Grevik said, we rubberneck to read peoples AFC posts, and try from time to time to help reduce the AFC levels in the world. Everyone can learn something, you dont need to over analyze something to understand how it works. I fully understand the complete workings of a vehicle, from brakes to transmission, but I can still drive without thinking about it. It just makes me more aware if a problem pops up. If I hear a squeal I will know if it is the brakes, or the steering, or whatnot.

If you dont know how things work, you will just assume its something its not or think its nothing when it is serious. It is the same with women, knowledge is power, the key is to use it where it is needed. Not where it isnt. Overuse of knowledge can be just as dangerous as no knowledge.

 

[oreo_renegade]

I agree with kwah


Personally, I have always been pretty "naturally talented" in all aspects of life.

I mean, im not the BEST DAMN THING THERE IS, but im good.

I've never really had to practice anything to do fine in it. Schoolwork, sports, whatever.

I just go out and do it.


When I first came here, for some reason i had the silly notion that with women, things were different.

They arent, go out and do it, and youll be fine. Its the over analytical AFC who sits there and gets nervous cause hes thinking about what to say.


A real man doesnt analyze, he just follows his insticts.