Sosuave and its influence on my opinion of women

[comote]

This does normally happen at first, I agree. After a while something does change, you start to not look at women for the harm they can do, although you accept it. You start to love women for the games they play. Women are indecisive fickle, spiteful if they want to be, yet at the same time they can be loving, caring, and sensuous.
When we first come here we start to believe that women are evil and not to be trusted, after a while you recognize that yes women do bad things, they are after all human. Yet that is why we love them, we don't love women in spite of the way they are, we love them BECAUSE of the way they are.
I am no where the dj I want to be, I admit I am still a bit guarded when it comes to getting attached, but I can tell you this:
A dj must truly love women, he must see the good and the bad in them and still love them. An afc sees only the good, a jerk sees only the bad. A rafc remembers seeing the good yet only sees the bad.

 

[Don-Wan Kenobi]

Originally posted by comote
An afc sees only the good, a jerk sees only the bad. A rafc remembers seeing the good yet only sees the bad.

Well put.

 

[Halo]

I know what you are talking about. I guess I am in the "jerk phase" of recovering from my former AFC self. I have gotten the impression that everything is so tentative, and that the slightest insignificant error in my behavior will snowball into failure with every woman. In other words I feel like I am always skating on thin ice and that doesn't help inspire confidence so I know it's counterproductive. I too am often finding myself wanting to just use as many women as possible, anonymously as possible, and feel like all the grand ideals I used to have are gone forever. Hopefully it is just a phase because I'm not very happy about it.

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

I admit I've grown a lot more cynical about women too.

But it beats putting them on pedistals and waiting for them to rip your heart to shreds.

I was a good guy, and I got burned pretty bad. I was more of an AFC back then (keep in mind I still wasn't a total AFC).

Now I'm ready. I'm going to be better abouut signals; and better about recognizing when the woman is going to cheat, and I'm not taking that crap. It's going to be easier to weed out the looneys.

Sometimes being cynical can be a good thing.

 

[Slashco]

Typical sosuave discussion:

Poster #1: I know what chicks want!
Poster #2: No, I know better what chicks want!
Female poster: I think-
1 & 2: SHUT UP, B!TCH!
1: Anyway, where were we? I know what chicks want!
2: No way! etc etc...

 

[Julius_Caesar]

I think that the misogynism is just a phaze for most of us.

I personally TRY not to damn a person unless they give me a reason, which they often do. I think that becoming cynacal is a phase in us becoming better men, aka DJs. We are pissed off that something is causing us so much trouble. Personally, I battle with issues with my looks(big nose), I am pissed that it causes me so much trouble. That I believe is my challange, each up and coming DJ has to deal with these problems. But eventually I will prevail and I won't think about 'if she thinks Im attractive' or not. And I will be stronger because of it. Now most intermediate DJs are pissed that women are given them so much trouble. Most women, and men, are not great people. what ever that means. But do us guys give a hoot if we think all guys are bad? NO! We are taught that women are things to love and cherish; but, with the exception of your mother and future wife, they are not. as we move into djism the old social norms are taken away and we begin to see what the women are REALLY like. Not some AFC view of the world. People call me cynical but I call it the truth, undiluted truth, and ya it hurts, but no one ever got to be the best by diluting themselfs with lies.

An aspiring Caesar, to be the best man.

 

[The Time Machine]

Pressing the blue button..
*bump!*
____________

 

[Prodigy746]

I will say that 70% of the girls out there play those games. However there are girls out there that dont care to play the games and actually are looking for a good honest, smart guy to settle down with. Most of the younger girls are going to be the ones that are going to play games like that.

 

[KontrollerX]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=128517

Even though this is an old topic bumped by the time machine poster I have to say the ideas Sosuave put into the mind of the topic creator about women are correct.

Just check out Night Time Pimp's story about how he landed the supposed good girl but tells us of his horror story where five years later she left him for some fvcking small d!cked loser.

Face the facts morality crew kiddos there are no good women such as found in your fantasy idealized version of the term "good women".

We are all opportunistic animals and will act on our momentary impulses and do what we deem we can get away with.

 

[Solomon]

Classic post

Many this post is classic, so many jewels let me dissect a few post which I find "profound"

The problem with this forum is that many, many of its users are either a) bitter former AFC's who have been hurt in the past and, unable to heal, have come to hate and distrust women; and b) teenagers who like to pretend they have all the answers when in fact they have near zero life experience, and perhaps never even had a girlfriend. This is why there is much hostility towards women, and a very juvenile 'macho man' attitude prevailing. This isn't to say there aren't any useful posts, because there are. You just have to sift through a lot of grunting, chest-pounding and poo-flinging to find it.
I concur, I use to be in the same boat, being shiitted on by women, not because I didn't know better but because I had low self-esteem, no self-respect and no standards. Once I started to change (way before i found SS) my self-respect went up by me working out and wanting better, my self-esteem did too, and now my standards as well. I believe every man goes through the "all women are *****s" phase once in his life. Personally this topic goes waay deeper then just the things mentioned above.
Personally, I only ever look for advice in the health & fitness forum anymore. The views here haven't affected me much because I'm pretty stable to begin with and know when to take things with a grain of salt, but in your case maybe you should take a break? No bulletin board should sour your outlook on life, and remember: Misanthropy is a huge turnoff.

^^Exactly, If you are starting to distrust women because of this site, log off. I have met tons of trifling ass women in my life. God knows I got stories for days, however I have also met some pretty cool ass females, who have "reshaped" and "reframned" my realities of women. Not all women are *****s/*****es/sluts like some posters on here would want you to be believe although there are "many" out there. If you are a man who knows how to "qualify" women and have self-worth/confidence you won't put up with those women. And if you are a women of intelligence and self-confidence you won't put up with a man who feels its ok to "abuse" you and "mindfucck" because this is low quality.

Sounds like you fell into the pit of many folks here..

this site isnt promoting making women look bad..most of the problems from guys you read here are from byatches who think their sh1t dont stink

to me, DJism, is about being the best person you can be..building confidence..and learning to play the game of love the correct way..
BINGO, this is why I came here 6 months ago, It took me less then that to get a high quality g/f, although things didn't work out, for various reasons
its not about putting women down to feel good about myself

YESSS! But yet Charlatans and posters are teaching this and for what? to feel empowered. It saddens me when a "boy" things being a man is treating a women like a animal and have her call him "master" or some shiit. What type of women self-respecting women, will call a man master? none only a low value, low self-esteem women will, and what does that say about the man? I ain't one to judge but you attract what you are!!!

thats why I dont even like using Neg Hits..and when I do, its not to feel better about myself..but to knock those women who think they are on some pedestal

This post needs to be archived, the reality of this is, you have low quality women, and men. If a man views all women in a negative light, negativity is what he will attract. As another poster said women are a "challenge" if you don't fret and accept it and "qualify" them properly. You will weed out the "bad" ones with ease, a man of high value, self-respect will eventually meet a women of high value self-respect. This is why I don't expect to find the love of my life at a night club. Only a fool would think this although it is possible.

Stay up y'all

Solo

 

[Faded Image]

Man, those were the days when times were hard for me.

2003 was the year the light finally clicked for me.

 

[Solomon]

Man, those were the days when times were hard for me.

2003 was the year the light finally clicked for me.

ha ha word?

why don't you make a post about your transformation, I'm always curious to read how some people transformed and improved due to this

peace

 

[jc.dunn]

In my opinion, this site is to help you get what you want from women... whatever that may be. Women are people and they all make mistakes and do bad things, just like guys do. Perhaps your problem is that you used to think that women were a bunch of little angels who could do no wrong... if thats the case then this site changing your opinion is a good thing. If you want a long term girl, you just need to find one that shares your values.

 

[mikel]

Well..

It's a cycle alot of guys have gotten into. Really the best way to make yourself have more confidence with the other sex is to generalize and objectify them to the point that its just like a game, and what you do or say is the key. When you make something simple(that something being women) and you can write a guide to, or you can be taught how to do it(David DeAngelo) with certain techniques, or the way you speak. It's easier for you to believe, therefore for a short time, your more confident. Because thats how we've been taught to do things our whole life, with directions. Sadly, alot of men find out that women dont come with instructions. But its actually ALOT easier to get women than anything on this site teachs you.

If you have faith in a system, you'll come off more confident. Your looking for an answer to your relationship problems(or lack thereof) and thats led you here. Making women seem like a code you have to crack, and the advice that this site gives you. Makes it easier for people with no expierence to gain enough confidence to go out and actually talk to women, something I think, alot of people that first visit this site havent done. Which makes them think that this site works.

I would say a large majority of members of this site have some sort of problem with women, whether they relize it or not. They are equals to us, but making them seems less makes it easier for them to approach them. Thats what alot of the advice on here is based on, like I said, whether they realize it or not.

Not to say they are women haters, but it just makes everything easier for some people that are absolutely petrified by women. It's alot easier than you think. There is no guy who can get every women, and even if you do EVERYTHING right in accordance with every piece of advice there is out there. Not every women is going to want you.

Just dont let it get to you. Like some people have let it.

I've been on this board a long time, and thats just my 2 cents.

 

[randalll]

id say DJism is about developing the state of mind whereby you can handle yourself in the best way possible for you. so for example if you were cheated on by a girl you were with, you'd be able to turn your back on her and move on with your life, without it affecting you, because how could it? you're secure with yourself

this is my aim anyway

 

[Faded Image]

ha ha word?

why don't you make a post about your transformation, I'm always curious to read how some people transformed and improved due to this

peace

I wrote about awhile back here http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=82015

I've always wanted to finish the story then but I was always trying to help other guys out that I never got around to it. The moral of the story was to manage the information you obtain here and don't allow it to manage you.

I became an unstoppable monster/beast/a$$hole and it was fun while it lasted. They say Karma is a b!tch and boy did it come back to hit me beyond from car issues to being evicted do to noise complaints two days later.

Fast forward four years later, I'm happily married with two wonderful children.

 

[DonJuan11]

I have been spending atleast 30 or more minutes a day reading the posts on here..I think it is starting to do more harm than good. Its got me working on self confidence and all that, but I'm starting to get very, very distrustful of women and cynical about them in general.

I'm losing all hope of ever being happy with a girl. I'm super scared they will cheat on me now. I still think about them sexually, but as far as a partner to enjoy my time with I don't see it happening.

They are nothing more than sl*ts who want money, sex and entertainment. And the head games, sheesh. I use to be so optimistic about a wife and all that bull shi*. I want to use women and move on now. Too many opporunities to get hurt.


Is this what DJism is? I think the saying that ignorance is bliss, is so true.

Don't be so dramatic. If you just read the threads about guys who can't get laid and complain, bvtch and moan how this girl won't call her back or this girl won't give him sex after all he did for her, you will become jaded.

If you read with an open mind and realize this site is about improving yourself, feeling better, and having more fun in life, with women being a byproduct of it, you wouldn't be so bitter and make such a illogical statement.

 

[slaog]

Not all men are bad and not all women are bad.


The guys who think women are bad are the guys who only look for women to fvck. Naturally when they're out getting women for one night stands in clubs etc they're not going to come across many quality women. They'll then advise others that there are no quality women out there because they've never seen any. Their beliefs change.


When a person has certain beliefs that person will look for evidence to back up their beliefs while ignoring other evidence.


Look at things with an open mind.

 

[slaog]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=128517

Just check out Night Time Pimp's story about how he landed the supposed good girl but tells us of his horror story where five years later she left him for some fvcking small d!cked loser.

Face the facts morality crew kiddos there are no good women such as found in your fantasy idealized version of the term "good women".

Night Time Pimp was only 15 when he met the girl and 20 when they broke up. She was never a woman to begin with. She was a girl who had friends who behaved like that as NTP said. It just became more normal and acceptable for her.


You can tell alot about somebody by the friends they have.

 

[Scars]

I usually don't disagree with you KontrollerX because you're one of the more inspirational posters here, but I'm gonna have to say I agree with slaog on this one. I don't think all girls are that inherently evil, and yes that girl wasn't even fully developed (dating from age 15 to 20). A lot us are "opportunistic animals", true. But I believe if you have your girl disciplined enough to where she doesn't PUT herself in the line of these "opportunities" then you really don't have to worry. I think what you're saying is true to an extent, most girls aged 18-25 are still in party mode and not ready to settle down with just one guy so it's almost a waste of time trying to invest in something meaningful at this age (that's my opinion). I know you're a realist, and a lot of what you say is the harsh truth of reality but to say ALL woman will cheat is stretching it a bit don'tcha think?