Originally posted by Celadus
I have been spending atleast 30 or more minutes a day reading the posts on here... I'm starting to get very, very distrustful of women and cynical about them in general.
You've noticed that about this forum also?
I'm losing all hope of ever being happy with a girl. I'm super scared they will cheat on me now. I still think about them sexually, but as far as a partner to enjoy my time with I don't see it happening.
It's funny. Part of my motivation for coming to this forum is to learn skills to make sure that I am not hurt or taken advantage of in subsequent relationships.
A lot of relationship/seduction information on the web has the same advice to offer: either you're the one being taken advantage of or you're the one doing the taking.
Pretty damned hopeless scenario if you've ever dreamed of a loving relationship, huh?
We've even got a name for falling in love that makes it sound like a disease.
A very close friend of mine was tormented by these very same issues of trust and feelings of vulnerability and pain, and was given the opportunity to take a pill that would relieve him of the ability to feel... no more love getting in the way of his pursuits; no more "one-itis." No more butterflies in the stomach when dealing with very attractive women. No more feeling drawn into or connected to women. No more crushes. Certainly no more heartbreak...
He took the pill and disconnected from his emotions regarding other people. Immediately, he felt invinceable and became ten-fold more successful with women! It's like women could sense their powers having little effect on him and they tried everything in they could possibly come up with to draw him in. It worked. He could care less about any sort of connection or committment and basically used a few girls to get what he wanted. Before you all fumble to hit the reply button and ask me for the name of the pill, know that whenever I talk to my friend he tells me that he would give almost anything to be able to feel again. He would live his entire life as an ignorant AFC as long as he could feel connected. He longs for that old feeling of being vulnerable and challenged by a woman. He doesn't care how much easier it is for him to score nowadays. He would give it all back in a heartbeat.
Let's just say there is a time where you're gonna want to love somebody, especially if they love you and you realize that this person would do anything for you and would remain faithful throughout even the most difficult of times. Then, you'll understand that you have the power to not reciprocate the sort of closeness and connection they are able to offer. You'll no longer be the only one who is vulnerable and putting yourself out there... Maybe Celadus, you've never been there and felt that. I'll be honest: in all of my relationships, I haven't.
Enough of this story.
They (all women) are nothing more than sl*ts who want money, sex and entertainment.
I used to feel this way about women too. The funny thing is, I like money, sex, and entertainment myself and when I first began using this material, I was hooking up with lots of girls. So I can't blame women for liking the same things and taking advantage of the fact that men are always hitting on them.
And the head games, sheesh. I use to be so optimistic about a wife and all that bull shi*. I want to use women and move on now. Too many opporunities to get hurt.
You sound like either you've always been too affraid to put yourself out there or that you have put yourself out there and have been hurt.
I was hurt badly in a relationship last year. I had spent the previous year recovering from physical illness and had forgotten this site existed. I put myself on the line and became incredibly vulnerable. I guess I chose the wrong person. Maybe the wrong time.
I'm interested in seduction because, to be honest I don't have the time to invest in any sort of relationship, I enjoy variety, and I don't know myself well enough or haven't lived enough yet to be able to understand the difference between what I want and what I don't want.
I grew up in a home with parents who loathed each another and never even pretended to be or act affectionately toward one other. When I hear guys talk about getting married (or having a wife) I become really pessimistic and can never really speak my mind to them. "Love" is like attraction. It fizzles and burns out. Relationships have to end and most relationships don't last until the death of an individual. Some end prematurely because people are unable to put out or simply affraid. Marriage serves to complicate everything, especially if there is a child involved or one partner earns a significantly higher income than the other.
Is this what DJism is?
Fvck "DJism." When this board was about picking up chicks, none of us refered to what we were accomplishing or hoping to accomplish as some sort of religion or cult. It really scares me when people feel so strongly about this forum.
I think the saying that ignorance is bliss, is so true.
Perhaps ignorance is bliss. If so then the AFC has it better than a failure of a pick-up artist or a pick-up artist who wants to leave pick-ups behind him. On this site, we use "Don Juan" instead of pick-up artist and AFC seems to have different connotations than it has elsewhere (i.e. everywhere else). So what I'm about to say is open to a variety of interpretations.
You know, ever since Ross Jeffries wrote about "Average Frustrated Chumps," the entire internet seduction community did everything in its power to distance itself from the characteristics that make up the chump (difficult to write "internet seduction community" and keep a straight face). It is as if the "AFC" was and is the antithesis of all that these forums and websites advocate.
Then it dawned on me... most of my friends and most of the guys I meet in every day life are by-definition AFCs... they get laid. They have lives. They just don't visit these websites.
Furthermore, most guys who come to these forums are looking to get laid or meet a girl or have a relationship that works out... in essence, they want what the AFC already has... only they want to feel like they have more control over their relationships and their ability to attract women.
Fastseduction contends that most guys (AFCs) cannot control or even predict when they're gonna "get lucky." They can't get laid unless they "luck out" or lower their standards until they find a girl willing to sleep with them based on whatever they're doing right at the time.
So, AFCs are ignorant of all of the material on these sites that could potentially help them get laid more often. Guys like myself who are interested in seduction and learning about women and the dynamics of attraction and relationships want to have all of the answers and want to have confidence and control - a steady stream of relationships and the ability to attract more of them. But, sometimes I wonder about the AFCs... Are they happy? I mean, do they have meaningful relationships? I had neither when I was an AFC (as opposed to an AFC who wants to become a PUA). Do they lead fulfilling lives? Do they find excitement and inspiration? Do their actions make a difference? Are they happy with the quality of their sex lives? Do they enjoy the company they attract? Will they have people here to take care of them when they are vulnerable, down on their luck, or too sick to take care of themselves? Do they ever extract and disect their sexual persuits to examine them piece by piece, and type up field reports and lay reports or do they simply live in the moment and make the most out of each and every interaction and relationship? Do they memorize and recite canned approaches laced with elements of neuro-linguistic programming or are they truly spontaneous and able to offer and convey excitement and genuine value in their companionship?
In the time I spend on these forums, I could learn to play guitar.
