There is a girl, (HB7) who seems to be really into me. She has said things to that effect many times, she has wanted to be with me as much as possible (we live in different cities some 200km from each other).
While I do like her, she is more into me that I am into her. She even confronted me last night when I was with her at her place, and I playfully gave her examples for that being the case. I.e she spent 6 hours talking with me at the party where we met. She added me as a friend on Facebook, the same morning. She wanted to meet me the very next time she came to my city. She asked me directly about me being single, and we spent that night together at a private locale in the city. I invited her on a 48 hour cruise on the morning - a cruise departing the same day, and she accepted my invitation almost immediately.
One of the reasons I am not as much into her as she is into me, are our differing worldviews. She is very liberal, while I am very conservative, and outspoken about it - and I am not about to change that for any girl. She knew it within an hour of meeting me, as I purposefully wanted to see how she would react. She has said, that she does find me racist, does not like the way I express myself (I am polite, by the way), but other than that, she is very into me. She is aware that she should worry about our age difference (I am 31, she is 23), but she sais that she does not, and she sometimes makes jokes about that, i.e. that I like young girls.
I was in her city the day before yesterday. We had agreed that I would sleep at her place. I was visiting a few sororities and female student organisations (I planned on taking a few younger fraternity members with me, but they all declined at the last moment, so I came alone). I planned my visit to the day there was a meeting with representatives of all Estonian fraternities and a public tea-evening at an sorority.
So I visited three sororities in succession before going to the meeting. The second one was her fraternity - I had previously told her that all my young members had cancelled, and she said that she would entertain me myself, if I would not decide to go to her sorority. I did, though, and thought the reception was pleasant (our two organisations get along well). She had a wine-table evening later that evening, so I spent the time going to other events and making new friends at other fraternities and having some drinks, going to the sauna, and so on. I became a bit tired, as she was still at her sorority by 02:00. A friend of mine who has a girlfriend from her sorority called her, and she told him, that the party had ended by 00:00. So I called her, asked whether the party is over, and when she told me it was, offered to come there. She said that it would not be appropriate, and asked me if it is OK by me if she would stay for some more time. I told her I would like to go to sleep in some 30 minutes, or so. Well, it took some 60 minutes for her to leave. When we met, she told me that the two sorority members who received me earlier had said that I was flirty, creepy, inappropriate with them, and so on - because I had come alone, and I had been at their locale before. Apparently on of the members did not like when I noticed in an article she had written in one of their publications that she lives basically next to my previous home, and talked with her about that. They also thought the only reason I was in the city was to meet as many girls as I can. As it happens I had met the senior member (of those two) who received me a year or so ago - back then she had even agreed to show me around the city when I was again there. It did not happen, though, as we miscommunicated about the timing (she expected me to call her earlier during the day and she had no time in the evening), and the last time I talked to her via FB I was probably a bit over the line.
The girl also told me that when it became apparent to the girl that had received me, she had made comments along the lines "it is him!?", or "it it the guy who has hit on everyone - but I guess you see something in him that no one else sees". I had asked the girl to come with me the next morning and attend as my date at a company "Christmas"party. She was very optimistic and said she would come. Yet now she declined, saying that she would not like to have any public association with me - even if no one from her sorority would not know she is at that event, she just can not join me. That said, we still enjoyed a night together - albeit I did not sleep with her for many hours [we just talked (also about the future of our relationship, i.e whether we were compatible, and whether I saw her just as some easy fun) and she was just cuddling me], until she asked me if she should take her condoms, or If I had my own. I had actually thought not to give her that pleasure... but could not say no in the end.
To make matters a bit more interesting- there is another girl (HB8,5)from the same sorority living mostly in my city (a younger member, and younger in real life, i.e 20), who has also been my dancing partner for several months. We have had dates on various degrees every week after dancing, albeit I have not slept with her. She was actually my first choice to invite to the "Christmas"party, and I made my intentions with her more clear in the few last weeks. She told me to try to find some other girl (she know I have a pool of girls to choose from, as I have had a few other dancing partners a few times she has not been able to come) - but told me that she would be my last resort. So when I asked her again (without asking anybody else first) a few days prior, she still said no, but told me that I was not making it easy for her to decide, and said that she hates me for that, but would know on Friday evening (i.e the evening before the party) what she would do - obviously I did not ask her again. One of the reasons she declined the offer in the first place was that she said that she has a boyfriend "of sorts". Some apparently AFC, apparently - she even said that he cried last time she was not able to spend time with her. I could see it in her eyes that she does not take him seriously, but the thing is, that she is going back to the other city for a month or two. She did, however ask me if I was in a relationship, when that topic came up. I basically told him that I have a girl in the other city who is more into me than I am into her - something akin to a friend with benefits, as far as I am concerned. She attended the wine-table too - I am not sure about what she heard or did not hear being talked about me behind my back - I guess I get to know the next week before our last dance before she leaves to the other city to retake a course in university.
It it was never my idea to date/court, or heck, even sleep with two girls from the same sorority - but at least now I would have a valid excuse to dumb/next the girl who really is (or at least was) into me, without hurting her that much, and without making me look too bad - if I would (or even if I would not) pursue the 20 year old.
Any opinions?
While I do like her, she is more into me that I am into her. She even confronted me last night when I was with her at her place, and I playfully gave her examples for that being the case. I.e she spent 6 hours talking with me at the party where we met. She added me as a friend on Facebook, the same morning. She wanted to meet me the very next time she came to my city. She asked me directly about me being single, and we spent that night together at a private locale in the city. I invited her on a 48 hour cruise on the morning - a cruise departing the same day, and she accepted my invitation almost immediately.
One of the reasons I am not as much into her as she is into me, are our differing worldviews. She is very liberal, while I am very conservative, and outspoken about it - and I am not about to change that for any girl. She knew it within an hour of meeting me, as I purposefully wanted to see how she would react. She has said, that she does find me racist, does not like the way I express myself (I am polite, by the way), but other than that, she is very into me. She is aware that she should worry about our age difference (I am 31, she is 23), but she sais that she does not, and she sometimes makes jokes about that, i.e. that I like young girls.
I was in her city the day before yesterday. We had agreed that I would sleep at her place. I was visiting a few sororities and female student organisations (I planned on taking a few younger fraternity members with me, but they all declined at the last moment, so I came alone). I planned my visit to the day there was a meeting with representatives of all Estonian fraternities and a public tea-evening at an sorority.
So I visited three sororities in succession before going to the meeting. The second one was her fraternity - I had previously told her that all my young members had cancelled, and she said that she would entertain me myself, if I would not decide to go to her sorority. I did, though, and thought the reception was pleasant (our two organisations get along well). She had a wine-table evening later that evening, so I spent the time going to other events and making new friends at other fraternities and having some drinks, going to the sauna, and so on. I became a bit tired, as she was still at her sorority by 02:00. A friend of mine who has a girlfriend from her sorority called her, and she told him, that the party had ended by 00:00. So I called her, asked whether the party is over, and when she told me it was, offered to come there. She said that it would not be appropriate, and asked me if it is OK by me if she would stay for some more time. I told her I would like to go to sleep in some 30 minutes, or so. Well, it took some 60 minutes for her to leave. When we met, she told me that the two sorority members who received me earlier had said that I was flirty, creepy, inappropriate with them, and so on - because I had come alone, and I had been at their locale before. Apparently on of the members did not like when I noticed in an article she had written in one of their publications that she lives basically next to my previous home, and talked with her about that. They also thought the only reason I was in the city was to meet as many girls as I can. As it happens I had met the senior member (of those two) who received me a year or so ago - back then she had even agreed to show me around the city when I was again there. It did not happen, though, as we miscommunicated about the timing (she expected me to call her earlier during the day and she had no time in the evening), and the last time I talked to her via FB I was probably a bit over the line.
The girl also told me that when it became apparent to the girl that had received me, she had made comments along the lines "it is him!?", or "it it the guy who has hit on everyone - but I guess you see something in him that no one else sees". I had asked the girl to come with me the next morning and attend as my date at a company "Christmas"party. She was very optimistic and said she would come. Yet now she declined, saying that she would not like to have any public association with me - even if no one from her sorority would not know she is at that event, she just can not join me. That said, we still enjoyed a night together - albeit I did not sleep with her for many hours [we just talked (also about the future of our relationship, i.e whether we were compatible, and whether I saw her just as some easy fun) and she was just cuddling me], until she asked me if she should take her condoms, or If I had my own. I had actually thought not to give her that pleasure... but could not say no in the end.
To make matters a bit more interesting- there is another girl (HB8,5)from the same sorority living mostly in my city (a younger member, and younger in real life, i.e 20), who has also been my dancing partner for several months. We have had dates on various degrees every week after dancing, albeit I have not slept with her. She was actually my first choice to invite to the "Christmas"party, and I made my intentions with her more clear in the few last weeks. She told me to try to find some other girl (she know I have a pool of girls to choose from, as I have had a few other dancing partners a few times she has not been able to come) - but told me that she would be my last resort. So when I asked her again (without asking anybody else first) a few days prior, she still said no, but told me that I was not making it easy for her to decide, and said that she hates me for that, but would know on Friday evening (i.e the evening before the party) what she would do - obviously I did not ask her again. One of the reasons she declined the offer in the first place was that she said that she has a boyfriend "of sorts". Some apparently AFC, apparently - she even said that he cried last time she was not able to spend time with her. I could see it in her eyes that she does not take him seriously, but the thing is, that she is going back to the other city for a month or two. She did, however ask me if I was in a relationship, when that topic came up. I basically told him that I have a girl in the other city who is more into me than I am into her - something akin to a friend with benefits, as far as I am concerned. She attended the wine-table too - I am not sure about what she heard or did not hear being talked about me behind my back - I guess I get to know the next week before our last dance before she leaves to the other city to retake a course in university.
It it was never my idea to date/court, or heck, even sleep with two girls from the same sorority - but at least now I would have a valid excuse to dumb/next the girl who really is (or at least was) into me, without hurting her that much, and without making me look too bad - if I would (or even if I would not) pursue the 20 year old.
Any opinions?
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