son said he hates my ex...

[kingvavy]

My ex was/is a text-book ex from hell: full alimony, smear campaign, used my kids to try to get me busted, etc, etc. My son is 8 and is smart. He knows I tried to stay at home as long as I could, he recalls all the **** my ex did to me when we were together. She is physical with him, yells at him, uses her boyfriend(s) to try and discipline him, etc. He told me he hates his Mom because she "kicked you out..."

I am in that fog between blue and red pill...I love my son and I want to help him. Advice? I am confused as to whether or not I have a hand in corrupting him to hate his Mom. I did tell him that I never wanted to leave home and that Mom kicked me out. I can't trust the femi-nazi parenting coordinator, or the child-shrink, as I'm convinced the entire system is set up to make Dad's the fall guy on every level. Red pill advice on how to help my son? He has to spend 70% of his life with his Mom...

 

[Young OG]

He witnessed what his mom did and you told him the truth about it. I don't see how you corrupted him to hate his mom. Kids aren't stupid, especially at that age. They figure stuff out on there own.

I have a 7 year old daughter with my ex. Her mom was cheating, lying, stealing etc. She doesn't even like going over there. She told my parents she doesn't like being away from daddy. I luckily have majority custody.

If you live in the United States, depending on your state your kid can choose who they want to live with at a certain age. Once he is that age, go to court and have him say he wants to live with dad.

 

[kingvavy]

thanks....he has a little sister, and I don't want to break the two up, so I would have to wait until they are both old enough to choose.

 

[Young OG]

thanks....he has a little sister, and I don't want to break the two up, so I would have to wait until they are both old enough to choose.

No problem. Waiting for his sister to be old enough would be your best bet. You could possibly have there mom paying you child support then lol.

 

[Dingo]

I have many divorced friends with kids.... ALWAYS take the high road. You got to put those vengeful feelings away... Might be had at times and it might be painful to put up with stuff. In every case the kids come to realize that the ones spreading rumors and being the crazy one are the real bad guys. Good luck.

 

[sodbuster]

Ask a lawyer..... what the age is, and what about little sister? Different in every state. Know the facts, can you get them BOTH when He wants to leave? Then make a plan.....File about the first day you can

 

[Bible_Belt]

No one wants to be told that their mother is a wh0re, even when it's true.

 

[kingvavy]

lol, I never said his Mom was a *****...I basically told him that "daddy did not want to leave, that I stayed at home as long as I could but Momma was not happy with daddy living at home.." now he says "I hate Momma for kicking you out..." The kid has to spend 70% of his life with this demon-woman, so if he hates her that is no good. That being said, she spends all her time with the boyfriend, and her method of parenting is yelling and hitting...she also speaks poorly of me to him which is not helping her relationship. I booked an appointment with the child-shrink and I am going to figure out the best way to talk to him about why I don't live there. I just don't see the merit in lying to him...he is super smart, he remembers all the times she would attack me, he knows I did not want to leave. Telling him "Mommy and Daddy don't live together anymore because we want peace.." is just not going to cut it for him...

 

[Alvafe]

I wouldn't only go for the shrink but a lawyer too, ask both what you really should do, also how she uses her BF to discipline your kid? if he also get physical with your kid and you want to live with your kids and that means really taking care of then, less time to spend going out and after woman, you can pretty sure get full custody from a abusive mom and boyfriend and even send teh BF to do some jail time,

don't worry too much about you corrupting your kid, parents have a less influence then tv, his school and friends, her mom already did all that and try to make him hate you with for a good reason he can see and hate her for it, it can be also just him jealous of his mom with another guy, with would also happen with you

 

[kingvavy]

I was told that judges rarely, if ever, take kids away from the Mom. A kid saying Momma hits me is hearsay. You have to prove abuse, and even then, I was told that hooker Mom's selling crack still stand a better chance of gaining full custody than Dad's...not as easy to get, at least where I live...

 

[LiveYourDream]

I was told that judges rarely, if ever, take kids away from the Mom. A kid saying Momma hits me is hearsay. You have to prove abuse, and even then, I was told that hooker Mom's selling crack still stand a better chance of gaining full custody than Dad's...not as easy to get, at least where I live...

If your kid(s) are being abused, do whatever you need to do, to get them out of there and be their hero. Don't look the other way and rationalize that you are helpless to the system. Don't say it's not possible when you haven't given it your all.

Your kids are in a burning house, are you just going to sit back and watch? Your 8 year old son and even younger daughter are the ones that are helpless. You are an adult, with access to all kinds of resources. Your job among others is to be your kids' protector. Find help and assistance wherever way you need. Call child protective services if that's best.

Do whatever you need to do, in order to save your kids, now.

 

[kingvavy]

Agreed, but it's not that simple. My ex is an expert manipulator. She has managed to manipulate the parenting coordinator to the point where my lawyer has informed me that he's concerned about how I'm being perceived. I just have to keep documenting what my kids are telling me and submitting that to the lawyer...my ex is mentally unstable, she creates a ****-storm of stress with whoever she interacts with. She can't parent, she can only yell and be physical with the kids as a means of commanding authority. According to my son, the boyfriend is a "nice guy" who often tries to "talk to mommy about what mommy does to me when she is angry..." ****ed up. I just want my kids as much as I can to spare them having to live in such a toxic environment. I work two jobs to make the alimony and support payments so I am in no position to argue to a judge that I should have more time with the kids. I have an automatic termination in alimony in 4 years, so at that point, I can quit one of the jobs and make a push then for greater custody. 4 years is a long time for my poor kids...

 

[Alvafe]

if you didn't had to pay for support payment you could quit one job? because the support if I'm understanding well is for your kids so if they stay with you that payment will go off, plus serious if your kids have any kind of beating mark even his school should be aware off, just call child services and give then a tip, they normally will go and check without telling her and they can see how she goes off

 

[kingvavy]

He told the psychologist today that Mom was physical with him. The psychologist is professionally obligated to report this to child services. We'll see what happens...