sometimes your games can backfire...

[Sexy_Malibu]

This may seem kind of like common sense... but I read so many of you talking about "play it cool" and "play hard to get" and "wait to call her" and "act disinterested" and so on... so I'm just going to add in my two cents as a woman...

It's very true that calling too soon/too often or acting overly interested and AFCish in general is a bad idea. But you should know where to draw the line between "playing it cool" and sabotauging yourself.

I don't pretend to be the hottest chick in the world or to be extremely sought after. I'm just a regular average girl, but I will say that at any given point in time there are at least 3 guys vying for my attention. (This isn't to say that these are always guys that I'm necessarily interested in, but the fact remains that there ARE guys who are interested in me). So what's the point of me telling you this? Even though it may sound like I'm being conceited (I swear I'm not), basically what I'm saying is that I don't have to work for it. So if a guy that I'm interested in is showing me signs of low IL then I'm going to assume that he has low IL in me. If he's not calling me and making plans often enough, I'm not going to waste my time with him.

Example: I was dating a guy who rarely initated plans. I would call him and say something like "I'm going to be in your neighborhood and so-and-so day, would you like to meet up before/aftewards?" etc. I know he had some interest in me, because he was always very enthusiastic about making these plans. But he never called me to suggest plans on his own. This didn't make me thing "oh maybe he's just shy" or "oh he must be busy with other women, what can I do to keep his attention?" ... it just made me think "okay well he's obviously not THAT interested in me, so why am I going to waste my time bothering some guy who's not interested... when so-and-so over here is knocking my door down to see me?" Now you can argue that he really wasn't interested, which is probably the truth... but the fact of the matter is that a lot of guys out there act this way, even when they are interested... trying to play some slick DJ game but failing at it and having it backfire.

So all I'm saying... all my advice to you is... is that there IS a fine line, so walk it carefully. You might be so wrapped up with playing games, that you end up making yourself lose without knowing it.

(Mods, feel free to move this thread to 'Anything Else' or wherever else you think it goes, I wasn't sure. In fact, feel free to delete this thread if you think it's useless, I wasn't sure about that either).

 

[SamePendo]

bla bla bla bla.... *****!




(Please note that Sexy_Malibu is comfortable with me making these comments... ask her. This is NOT a insult. Please don't ban me!)

 

[Player_Supreme]

Well Malibu, let me add my $100.00's worth of advice:

I don't play that wait game and I do call right away. Why? Because I'm not an AFC inside.

These guys who are born or made that way are trying all these techniques to hide what they are inside only to have it re-appear later on after they have caught the girl.

This is why we always see them posting and whinning about how they are back to their old AFCish selves.

If I do not fawk close her that night, I will call her as soon as I leave the club and leave a nice voice message for when she turns it on when she leaves, or I will send her a nice email when I get home.

I don't come accross as desperate or AFCish, cause that is not my inner nature. As the Pathologist whom I met last night said.

"You look tough and intimidating and thats why no one will come over and talk to you"

As if women are suppose to approach. It's a sad state of affairs when men sit and wait for women to do all the work.

Anyways, you do have some valid points in your post here. These heads do need to use some moderation of those techniques and machinations or games they are learning, since their natural state is AFC.

But the real trick is to make the changes inside instead of doing all that outter game shyt.

So it is below so it is above!

 

[Julian]

Damn havent seen your name in ages Malibu.


Anyway i agree there is a fine line. Most guys walk it very sloppily, me included. However with this behavior im glad i have the ability to know when to NOT let a good thing slip by.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by SamePendo
(Please note that Sexy_Malibu is comfortable with me making these comments... ask her. This is NOT a insult. Please don't ban me!)

LMFAO! It's sad that it has come to the point where you have to make a disclaimer like that.

 

[SamePendo]

Well.. they threatened me.

I don't know why anyone would warn me of hurting the feelings of some ****ing **** who comes from hell anyways (women come from hell).

I mean, it's not as if ***** ****-licking ****s like you are worth a penny.



s*ut isn't exed! I exed it myself!

 

[Mack Bishop]

from my experience a hot girl will go for the dude who seems less interested in her they like the game. low self-esteem girls like the comfort in being involved with a fella who is "knocking down the door" to see them

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by SamePendo
Well.. they threatened me.

I don't know why anyone would warn me of hurting the feelings of some ****ing **** who comes from hell anyways (women come from hell).

I mean, it's not as if ***** ****-licking ****s like you are worth a penny.



s*ut isn't exed! I exed it myself!

Dam, you got it bad. I think there is a post about this woman hating thing recently on this board.

As I said then it's not them you hate...it's yourself and your own weaknesses

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by Mack Bishop
from my experience a hot girl will go for the dude who seems less interested in her they like the game. low self-esteem girls like the comfort in being involved with a fella who is "knocking down the door" to see them

I agree with this if your applying it to the readers on this board. As I said most of them are natural symps to begin with and they need a technique to help em out.

But I've never had a problem with showing interest with high or low self esteem women. I don't come accross as needy or desperate is the reason. And that is because I'm not.

I can meet women anytime anywhere and it's easy getting laid...and this is how I carry myself.

But, that's me and not the average reader here so I will STFU.

Infact I don't think my advice actually can apply to this board now that I think about it.

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
As I said then it's not them you hate...it's yourself and your own weaknesses

LMAO at PS coming out and saying that.

 

[DeathDealer]

You know what Sexy Malibu. I tend to act less lovey-dovey over girls I'm so-so interested in (just want to bang) but not relationship. And the girls read that as disinterest. Probably disinterest in a relationship but not sex. Bothguys and girls can give off false interest signals, I try to just stay neutral and I only become more aggressive if there's a girl that I really want to be with.

I just notice that girls I'm so-so with, I make contact like once a weekand girls I'm really interested in, I try to get ahold of her every couple of days. I also notice that girls do the same too, by her just returning your voicemail (they never pick up which is a clear indicator of no interest) more than a day later or never.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

from my experience a hot girl will go for the dude who seems less interested in her they like the game. low self-esteem girls like the comfort in being involved with a fella who is "knocking down the door" to see them

Like I said, there's a fine line you walk. I don't necessarily want to date the guy who is "knocking down my door". But I certainly don't want to waste my time on a guy who isn't interested either.

I disagree though that most hot girls will go for the dude who seems less interested. If a girl is hot and she knows it, then she knows that she doesn't have to make as much as an effort as other girls. Therefore she probably won't stick around with a guy who makes her work too hard for it. If his IL seems low enough she might even think "he's obviously not interested... I have too much self-esteem to humiliate myself by chasing a man who doesn't want me".

A girl with low self-esteem WILL enjoy the comfort of a guy who pays them a lot of attention and show a high IL. But she might also be willing to work a little harder to get the guy who seems less interested... because in her mind he may be the "better guy". If she really does have low self-esteem she might not be thinking "I'm too good to do this".

Also like you said, it does depend on if you're in it for sex, STR, LTR, etc. Some women are in it for the chase, etc. You have to learn to read the woman you're with. Obviously, there's no clear cut rule here. It's just something to keep in mind... some women will respond to certain "techniques" differently than others.

Well.. they threatened me.

LOL! Did they really? OK. I will make it known to the boards that SamePendo is allowed to call me whatever the f*ck he wants. (This rule does not apply to all members of sosuave however).

 

[Kaine]

But he never called me to suggest plans on his own. This didn't make me thing "oh maybe he's just shy" or "oh he must be busy with other women, what can I do to keep his attention?" ... it just made me think "okay well he's obviously not THAT interested in me, so why am I going to waste my time bothering some guy who's not interested... when so-and-so over here is knocking my door down to see me?"

Showing interest:

You don't want to be the guy who doesn't show any interest. What you want to be is the guy who has a life. You WANT to show interest but not too much, ambiguity is the best road for at least the initial stages of attraction in my view. That perception can be created if you genuinely have things going on in your life or faked if you don't, either way works in the short term. Why does Sexy Malibu want to spend time with me? Even though I'm not breaking down her door and proposing marriage? Because I'm cool, interesting and she has the most amazing and fun time with me. She thinks about me when I'm not around.

AFC behaviour:

If you have dominant frame which is accepted by women, such as Player Supremes case you can break rules, and get a away with what would be regarded as the occasional AFC behaviour. This gives his character dimension i.e. he's usually a hardass but with a soft side. But you must establish yourself as a strong man in her eyes, it must be her primary perception of you. I suppose a metaphor that has been used before is that you are a powerful King, you don't accept any less then the respect that entails a king, but at the same time are just and generous to those who deserve it. Otherwise you can perceived as a big supplicating suck up, whether you are trying to get pu$$y or just been "nice"


Kaine

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

PS: SamePendo, I just read your response to the 'pregnancy' thread, lol, ewwww. I think you should just add to your signature "I'm allowed to call Sexy Malibu a ****ing *****"

 

[KillingTime]

Isn't it usually in a guys best interest to not take relationship advice from a woman?

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by KillingTime
Isn't it usually in a guys best interest to not take relationship advice from a woman?

Well it's really mostly common sense KillingTime. My basic advice to you all is above all other games, tactics, techniques, etc... USE YOUR BRAIN.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by Sexy_Malibu
This may seem kind of like common sense... but I read so many of you talking about "play it cool" and "play hard to get" and "wait to call her" and "act disinterested" and so on... so I'm just going to add in my two cents as a woman...

It's very true that calling too soon/too often or acting overly interested and AFCish in general is a bad idea. But you should know where to draw the line between "playing it cool" and sabotauging yourself.

I don't pretend to be the hottest chick in the world or to be extremely sought after. I'm just a regular average girl, but I will say that at any given point in time there are at least 3 guys vying for my attention. (This isn't to say that these are always guys that I'm necessarily interested in, but the fact remains that there ARE guys who are interested in me). So what's the point of me telling you this? Even though it may sound like I'm being conceited (I swear I'm not), basically what I'm saying is that I don't have to work for it. So if a guy that I'm interested in is showing me signs of low IL then I'm going to assume that he has low IL in me. If he's not calling me and making plans often enough, I'm not going to waste my time with him.

Example: I was dating a guy who rarely initated plans. I would call him and say something like "I'm going to be in your neighborhood and so-and-so day, would you like to meet up before/aftewards?" etc. I know he had some interest in me, because he was always very enthusiastic about making these plans. But he never called me to suggest plans on his own. This didn't make me thing "oh maybe he's just shy" or "oh he must be busy with other women, what can I do to keep his attention?" ... it just made me think "okay well he's obviously not THAT interested in me, so why am I going to waste my time bothering some guy who's not interested... when so-and-so over here is knocking my door down to see me?" Now you can argue that he really wasn't interested, which is probably the truth... but the fact of the matter is that a lot of guys out there act this way, even when they are interested... trying to play some slick DJ game but failing at it and having it backfire.

So all I'm saying... all my advice to you is... is that there IS a fine line, so walk it carefully. You might be so wrapped up with playing games, that you end up making yourself lose without knowing it.

(Mods, feel free to move this thread to 'Anything Else' or wherever else you think it goes, I wasn't sure. In fact, feel free to delete this thread if you think it's useless, I wasn't sure about that either).

Ya know what mali,
I 100 percent agree with everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, you said. Alot of DJ's, including myself bigtime, have made the mistake of over DJ'ing a girl. In fact, I haved been surfin this site for 4 YEARS and I only learned how to sprinkle in a touch of AFC-ness on top of my DJ cake until this summer.

Many people over DJ. I do all the time. You have got to draw a line in the sand somewhere and show some love,some interest and some affection. A girl who is decent looking and has other options, someone who is desireable like you claim(I dunno I never seen you but givin you the benefit of the doubt) is GONNA HAVE OPTIONS. Of course if she is a halfway decent chik and isn't a hoe it may be only 1 or 2 guys. But there is someone else. At some point she is gonna get sick of all this over DJ'ing stuff and pay attention to the guy showing her interest. He may lack the game you got and his skills may be weak, but remember this - a chik will choose an AFC over some just totally overly DJ'ing her and being to distant. I know cause I have been there. Trust me.

The real key to success is learning the balance. Giving a little but holding just a tinsy bit back. Like a rope. Give a little here but keep your balls intact.

 

[Kaine]

Many people over DJ. I do all the time. You have got to draw a line in the sand somewhere and show some love,some interest and some affection

Caveat

Leave the love and affection out until you have established a strong frame, preparing for or in an established relationship and then only initially as a reward for her good behaviour.

It's interesting and sometimes worthwhile listening to the opinions of females when it comes to seduction, but take it with a pinch of salt. What she says may not be necessarily what she subconsciously wants or half truths.

Kaine

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by Kaine
It's interesting and sometimes worthwhile listening to the opinions of females when it comes to seduction, but take it with a pinch of salt. What she says may not be necessarily what she subconsciously wants or half truths.

Ditto for males.

 

[Consistent]

Hey what's up. I looking for a wing to daygame with in NY. I'm down to help each other out reach ridiculous levels of pimpage : ). Let's take over New York. Hit me up @ shvili35@gmail.com