sometimes I feel so naive...

[Luthor Rex]

At what point did it become ok to fvck whoever you want as long as it doesn't "hurt" your significant other? I must have missed that one.

After a recent visit from a friend who travles around the world and some happenings at a buddy's birthday party it would seem I've been rather naive. Apparently the consensus is that it's a-ok to sleep around and "cheat" and not feel bad about it.

When I was with my last girl I remember her telling me how she and her friends would go away once a year to some exotic place on vacation. I suspected her and her friends would take this opportunity to **** someone who wasn't their boyfriends should they feel the desire. (I brushed this thought out of my mind at the time because I thought I was being too cynical.) Apparently my suspicions were correct BUT the reaction I would have had was wrong. "It just happens... oh well" would have been the correct response on my part instead of actually getting upset.

I want to be wrong about this... that most people aren't this way... that's I'm not all alone in my desire for a relationship that is about being with a person rather than being with a hole.

But maybe I'm the one that's wrong. Maybe I'm the one being silly and wanting things that are not now and can never be real. Compassion, tenderness and love really are just lies we tell children like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny is.

I'm at the point in my life, age and career wise, where I need to make a decision about wheather I'll ever get married and have a family. If the environment really is as cutthroat and hostile as I suspect then I'll live my life one way. If, on the other hand, I'm being cynical and biased and maybe live around too much middle-class-white-trash, then I'll live my life another way.

I know what I have to do however the world turns out to be. The problem is I'm not sure I'm seeing the world in an unbiased way so I can make a propper decsion.

Hell even Pook seems like he's been getting rather cynical these days: http://dapook.blogspot.com/

 

[vitor]

If you find "The One" You wont want to cheat nor will she. Cheating = Lack of Self Control, Lack of Respect for ones partner, Selfishness, and *******ness. I have cheated before and have been cheated on and its really one person in the relationship not caring, or being selfish

 

[joekerr31]

watch the matrix and the scene where agent smith interrogates morpheus.

Agent Smith: I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.


human beings are inherently selfish, narcissistic, ignorant and short sighted.

any time you are dealing with a human being you should start with this assumption until proven otherwise (especially women!).

the reality is that humans only enter into symbiotic relationships when it suits their needs. in all other scenarios human beings are always looking to tilt the scales in their favor - ALWAYS.

now there are some exceptions to this rule. that being human beings who have evolved and matured and realize that all things occur beyond the near-term present. which is to say that they realize that just becuase you CAN get the upper hand, doesn't mean you should - becuase in doing so you are propogating a type of behavior that you would not appreciate being applied to you. We call this empathy.

in the p hilosophic sense we call this a belief system. in a spiritual sense we call this belief in providence or faith. In a psychological sense we call this maturity.

so how 'mature' are most people in the world? they aren't.
do i think a culture of 'cheating' is becomign more and more exceptable? yes.
do i think life is rewarding using that belief system? no.
do i think there are plenty of people who don't believe in cheating and are honorable, mature, empathetic, decent people? yes.

my rule of thumb is that i assume that whoever im dealing with probably has the moral compass of a retarded feces chucking monkey until they prove otherwise to me.

it sounds like you're just going through a slump where you seem to be surrounded by people who are currently embrassing their narcassistic side.

but there are decent kind mature people out there - they just tend not to be the ones wearing tube tops and camel toe jean shorts.

the feces throwing monkies create the noise of this world, the key is to not be distracted by the noise so that you can the quality people quietly going about their business in the background.

 

[Vulpine]

Luthor, let me relate a little story:

When I was in high school, I used to get kicked in the nuts by women all the time. I don't mean once a year, or once a month, I mean at least once a week. This went on from the end of freshman year to about halfway through junior year before I made a vow to myself.

See, one night while at a "teen club", my friends and I were gathered around talking about the events of the week. Suddenly, two women approached and, without a word, one planted her foot squarely in my crotch.

She then proceeded to :cuss: at me... I had no idea what she was talking about. As I stood buckled over, I tried to understand and relate to what she was bidging about. I honestly had no idea; I couldn't remember doing any of the things she was screaming about: I didn't remember her friend's name, wasn't ever at the places she mentioned... Then, as the pain traveled to my stomach like it does, I started getting angry as thoughts flew through my brain:

"Why me?"
"Why again?"
"I was just standing here minding my business and BAM!"
"ArrrGGGHHH! This SUCKS!"
"This can't happen again: I think this chick has me confused with someone else."
"Ouch."
"Ouch... sh!t."
"Oh man, ouch, I swear... *deep breath* If I ever get kicked in the nuts again..."
"Ouch."
"If I ever get kicked in the nuts again, I'm not going to just buckle over. No, it takes a while for the pain to set in. Instead, I'm going to rock back and straight-up knock a b!tch out. You want to fight? Come at me, woman. No sir, no more of this getting kicked in the nuts business. I'll go fuxing apesh!t berzerk! This is WAR!"

I looked up at this chick and asked her:

"Who exactly do you think I am?"

She thought I was someone else.



And she was right, in a weird way. Who I was before she kicked me in the nuts was not who I was after she kicked me in the nuts. I kind of needed that last kick in the nutz, I guess, looking back at it.

I have never been kicked in the nuts since.

{funny, though, about a month later when I was playing 2nd base, I took a one-hop line drive straight to the nuts... infield was chewed up and it took a goofy bounce out of a divot. Did I buckle? Hell yeah! That sh!t hurt like mad! But, not before I picked that ball out of my crotch and flipped it to the first baseman and got the azzhole that hit that fuxer out!}

What, you ask, does this have to do with cheating and fuxing whomever you please?

People don't hold regard for anyone but themselves unless there are consequences. Kill someone, go to jail. Kick Vulpine in the nuts, get a close-fisted punch in the face. Cheat on Luthor Rex...?

I've been cheated on plennnnnty of times. Did I have it coming? Maybe; often no. Could I have prevented it? Maybe; probably no. Where there any consequences? Didn't use to be.

There are some now. I made a little vow to myself. Nothing crazy like cutting off a finger or carving my name in leather seats, just a little homebrew of retaliation I planned out for myself. "What would make Vulpine feel 'fair and square' if he ever caught a woman 'cheating'?"

And, just like that, no more getting cheated on. It's uncanny. You should try it. And once you do, you see that your attitude changes about it, and you stop worrying about it: "That sh!t just doesn't happen to me anymore."

 

[Vulpine]

watch the matrix and the scene where agent smith interrogates morpheus.

Good post!

 

[d9930380]

It depends on a) the type of person they are b) her into their partner at that time c) how into the other person they are.

But generally, I don't think people are faithful especially those that have ample opportunity to cheat.

 

[Phyzzle]

When I was in high school, I used to get kicked in the nuts by women all the time. I don't mean once a year, or once a month, I mean at least once a week. This went on from the end of freshman year to about halfway through junior year

Oh, come on, you were obviously doing SOMETHING very wrong to get that many people to hate you, even by accident, LOL!

I'll chalk that up to Karma. I think I have yet to see any female kick a guy in the nuts.

 

[drmeathead]

yeah its bull****. the whole girls on a trip thing is fine. to where is not. they cant get together and go shopping...they have to go run around in bikinis and drink and get hit on by drunk guys for a week. its a slippery slope...why even go on it??? this question beat me up as my gf went to the beach for sr week last year. sr week is all about drinkin and ****in. why go without ur bf? hell she would want to go to parties without me? the other girls would bring guys but i couldnt come??? yeah i know. that is why she is an ex.

 

[tmpgstx]

The pop culture turns dumb girls into sex machines. The smarter ones (about 10%) actually have some value and respect for themselves and their partners. The others are getting fake tits and spreading 'em for every Tom, **** and Harry (and sometimes Marry).

 

[Luthor Rex]

do i think a culture of 'cheating' is becomign more and more exceptable? yes.
do i think life is rewarding using that belief system? no.

I do think that human beings are selfish... or maybe I should say self-interested by nature. The various reasons I believe this would be too much to go into for a post like this. I say this because yes I do see myself as being self-interested too.

BUT

What you said in the above quote I believe is exaclty correct. I believe that an environment of cheating and superficial relationships would not be fufilling. That's why I'm not attracted to it at all (well disgusted by it actually). I don't think that it's in my self-interest to be unable to trust the person I'm sleeping next to. I don't think it's in my self-interest to be in a relationship that is impersonal or superficial.

What I don't get is why so many other people I encounter don't seem to see it the same way. A child or late teen I may understand not knowing why. Maybe even a 20-something who is kinda slow. But anyone who is over... say.. 25 at the latest should have the introspection to realize that soap opera drama bull**** is the fast path to being unhappy.

Ok my head is about to explode from this migrane....

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Every man is born with an internal moral compass.

IF he ever becomes aware of it, and he finds himself doing things that take him AWAY from his center---where his PEACE is located, eventually the pain and confusion that results from his divergence will either drive him BACK to where he belongs----or it will drive him further away into the realm of total desentization.

THIS is why people can do the things that they do-----because they have "seared" their consciences to the point where it is not BLOOD that seems to course through their veins, but something more akin to ICE WATER.

And this widespread inner coldness numbs mankind into a state of apathy towards the feelings and well-being of others.