Something too many people on this site are missing.

[BadNews]

There is a lot of useful information on this site. Some of it is more useful than the rest, but generally this site gives a decent basis for guys who are poor with women to increase their success. There are however a few issues I have with A LOT of the information on this site. In my opinion, there is a lot of 'gimmicky' stuff, that while it may seem to give results and increase success, it is all smoke an mirrors and will only get you so far.

For the most part, the information I am referring to, is stuff that is intended to give you an image of 'alpha', or make you feel like you're 'alpha'. Unfortunately for many guys here it is just a facade, and at the end of the day you're still the same insecure guy. When the going gets tough, and walls start to come down, these men are revealed for the person they really are; often having negative effects on the relationship they've been 'building' as well as their mental/emotional state.

I am a BIG believer in 'spinning plates'. However (as I've posted in a few different threads) I DO NOT BELIEVE PLATES SHOULD ONLY BE WOMEN! It is important to constantly be spinning plates - as we have all heard. The thing MANY guys miss: plates can be your friends, your career, a hobby, the gym, your family, ANYTHING that keeps you busy and occupied - and enhances your life! Too many guys here think spinning plates is only referring to women, they are DEAD WRONG! You need to focus on other aspects of your life. Take time for YOU, enrich YOUR life, and be happy with who YOU are! This is the only guaranteed way to build that confidence that SO many women crave. People on SS often refer to 'being the prize', and many guys use these 'gimmicks' to make themselves SEEM like the prize.

When you are happy with your life, and you are confident in who YOU are, you WILL BE the prize. Instead of 'acting' like you're the prize, you will understand your value, respect yourself, and naturally view yourself as the prize. Someone once made a post about looking for 'the one'. He hit the nail on the head when he said "YOU are the one". When you become truely happy with your life and the direction you're heading, becoming the desire of women requires no effort.

"But BadNews, just cause you're happy with who you are doesn't mean all women are automatically going to love you" you may be thinking. IT DOESN'T MATTER! It really doesn't. When you realize the VALUE that you have - what YOU have to offer the lucky girl YOU decide to persue - rejection is no longer an issue. If she isn't able to recognize the value you hold as a man, HER LOSS!

I urge everyone on this site to TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF! DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! FALL IN LOVE WITH WHO YOU ARE! This is the ONLY way to be happy and successful with women. This is the ONLY way to gain REAL CONFIDENCE in yourself! Smoke and mirrors may get you laid every now and then, but at the end of the day, your life is hardly better...and the success ISN'T EVEN COMPARABLE to your alternative (creating a better life, and being truely happy with who you are).

So get out there! Spin those plates: get that promotion, hang out with your buddies, go to the gym, spend time with your family, take up that hobby, DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! And everything else will fall into place.

Best of luck guys!

 

[loveshogun]

Very good message. Ironic that most good advice on this board sounds gimmicky.

Buy Love Shogun's non-existent book, now! Only 2 small payments of 399.95 and your first born child's soul**

** gingers need not apply.

 

[Konada]

Great post man totally agree with you. Like you said, I think some of us here have taken this site for its face value of getting good with women. What I believe this site is all about is establishing the 'inner alpha' as you may call it, where the alpha behavior you exude requires no effect but rather a part of you as an individual. The way I see it, its 'Improve yourself first, then think about women'. Great to see someone shares the same view as me.

 

[GrimReapaLifeEnda]

100 % agree. The things women are drawn to, are really just things that come naturally with enriching your life.

Money comes from having career ambitions, etc.

Getting buff comes from have the discipline to go to the gym.

Dressing well/looking good comes from having pride and sophistication.

Being funny and making others laugh comes from being happy yourself.

Your confidence comes from feeling good about your life in general.

If your confidence, ambition, discipline, and overall well-being depends on your success with women, your main assets wont be genuine and women will indeed figure you out. And I'm guessing you'll have let-downs and will feel like ****.

Moral: Be a man. Focus on your career goals, hit the gym, take time to learn how to dress well no matter your budget, and tackle all the things BESIDES women that cause you to feel less than your best. Be happy.

 

[runner83]

Great post.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

Great Thread, I agree 110%

 

[BadNews]

...tackle all the things BESIDES women that cause you to feel less than your best.

Great point Grim. If there is something in your life that is less than adequate...FIX IT! If you're constantly feeling stressed/down about something in particular, hit it head on and take control of the situation! Many people simply avoid negative aspects of their lives, because they feel it is easier than dealing with the problem. The sense of relief, and pride, when you TAKE CARE of the 'issues' in your life is an amazing feeling, and only serves to build up that confidence you seek!

 

[SuperAFC]

Great post, more people need to start thinking like this!

+1 rep.

 

[Echoes]

Great post, and as a newb it really makes alot of sense to me. Thanks.

 

[FairShake]

An adendum...gyming and hobbies are substitutes for women albeit poor ones. I know alot of people here swear by them but spending all your time pumping iron or making birdhouses is a lonely existance. And a pretty fruitless one.

That said family, friends, and friends who have become family are a great substitute. Just as good as women any day.

 

[Mr. White]

It does sound like something a 23 year old might say. I haven't been 23 in more than 23 years, so I have the self-confidence that my maturity and experience has won for me. I don't think of myself and my activities in terms of a circus actor who performs to entertain myself or others. If the circus analogy works for you, well that's fine. But my advice isn't to spin plates. My advice is to do something that is useful for others, that is sociable, and the like. Become more proficient and expert at what you like/want to do. Even if that means eating and sleeping with your basketball or what have you. Youth is the time for big dreams. Without young men trying to make the world better, what hope is there for the rest of us?

 

[BadNews]

It does sound like something a 23 year old might say. I haven't been 23 in more than 23 years, so I have the self-confidence that my maturity and experience has won for me. I don't think of myself and my activities in terms of a circus actor who performs to entertain myself or others. If the circus analogy works for you, well that's fine. But my advice isn't to spin plates. My advice is to do something that is useful for others, that is sociable, and the like. Become more proficient and expert at what you like/want to do. Even if that means eating and sleeping with your basketball or what have you. Youth is the time for big dreams. Without young men trying to make the world better, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I think you've completely missed the point of my post. I'm not suggesting you take up a 'circus act' to 'entertain yourself'; not even close. I'm suggesting you INVEST in your life, doing w/e it is that genuinely makes you happy to better yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. Strive for success OUTSIDE of women, and the respect/confidence you gain for yourself and your life will be projected for others to see. Women will notice this, and they LOVE it.

If what makes you happy happens to benefit others (and often times the most rewarding things in life DO benefit others), GREAT! But I wouldn't take up activities that 'make others happy' if they don't serve the same purpose for yourself, that is childish. The point is not to become a self absorbed prick either, that will get you nowhere...but we all know what the golden rule is.

p.s. The whole 'spinning plates' analogy was simply used because it is a common theme on these forums, and in my opinion, too many guys get wrapped up in the idea of focusing your life only on getting women...they're thinking of things in far too narrow a sense.

An adendum...gyming and hobbies are substitutes for women albeit poor ones. I know alot of people here swear by them but spending all your time pumping iron or making birdhouses is a lonely existance. And a pretty fruitless one.

That said family, friends, and friends who have become family are a great substitute. Just as good as women any day.

I think you're taking my examples a little too literally here bud. I'm not suggesting you go 'pump iron' or 'build birdhouses' (I laughed at this one) just for the sake of DOING something. I personally love working out, and it is a very fulfilling activity for me, that being said...others will not find this as rewarding as I or the next guy will. I'm suggesting you find things in life you're PASSIONATE about, and actively pursue those passions...to the BEST of your ability! If you have a passion for building birdhouses...hell, go build a bunch of birdhouses!

 

[FairShake]

I think you're taking my examples a little too literally here bud. I'm not suggesting you go 'pump iron' or 'build birdhouses' (I laughed at this one) just for the sake of DOING something. I personally love working out, and it is a very fulfilling activity for me, that being said...others will not find this as rewarding as I or the next guy will. I'm suggesting you find things in life you're PASSIONATE about, and actively pursue those passions...to the BEST of your ability! If you have a passion for building birdhouses...hell, go build a bunch of birdhouses!

I agree that having passions and completing goals are very important in life.

I don't think, however, in our world that has become so career-oriented, task-heavy, and communication-lite that we should focus on hobbies or even careers or passions in the absence of human connection be it friendly or romantic. I love my nursing career and playing in bands and coaching boxing but all come in distantly after my family, best friends, and girlfriends. Not one nighters mind you, just girlfriends get that attention.

 

[BadNews]

I agree that having passions and completing goals are very important in life.

I don't think, however, in our world that has become so career-oriented, task-heavy, and communication-lite that we should focus on hobbies or even careers or passions in the absence of human connection be it friendly or romantic. I love my nursing career and playing in bands and coaching boxing but all come in distantly after my family, best friends, and girlfriends. Not one nighters mind you, just girlfriends get that attention.

Nobody is suggesting you "focus on hobbies" that are "absent of human connection". You're trying to put the message of the post into a single category. The POINT is that it should NOT be put into a category. Don't focus too much on the examples given...focus more on applying the IDEA to what makes YOU happy. If hanging out with family, best friends and girlfriends (not one nighters) is what truely makes you happy, then focus your energy towards those things.

 

[playergamehater]

it really seesm that women judge men on non-physical attributes for the most part, which means that guys are more mistake-prone with girls than girls are mistake-prone with guys

 

[Fred_Scuttle]

Believe I saw this same information on another web site. Thanks for sharing it with us!

 

[penkitten]

good post!

 

[BadNews]

Believe I saw this same information on another web site. Thanks for sharing it with us!

Really? I'd be interested in looking at the site. This is an original write up...but I'm sure someone elsewhere has made a post with a similar mindset

 

[BlackMack177]

it really seesm that women judge men on non-physical attributes for the most part, which means that guys are more mistake-prone with girls than girls are mistake-prone with guys

I don't think girls are any better with men at all than the average afc is with them. Have you heard their convo's about love and the advice they give to their friends? Some of the sh1t is so facepalm head desk worthy that it makes me sick?

The average man is just more forgiving of mistakes and less of a harsh judge if the chick is hot.


but That's besides the point.

Great post, Badnews. what you said is very true.

 

[BadNews]

I don't think girls are any better with men at all than the average afc is with them. Have you heard their convo's about love and the advice they give to their friends? Some of the sh1t is so facepalm head desk worthy that it makes me sick?

The average man is just more forgiving of mistakes and less of a harsh judge if the chick is hot.

I completely agree. Lots of guys think women have all this "game" when in reality they're just as horrible at dating as the rest of us. Some of them may get hit on a lot, but when it comes to keeping the attention of a true Alpha Male, they're as clueless as a regular ole AFC. I think many guys think the opposite of this because they don't ACTUALLY see themselves as the prize, and they're putting these good looking women on a pedestal. BELIEVE YOU ARE THE PRIZE!