Something is holding me back. ANY input would be appreciated.

[Tall5]

Has anyone had a similiar experince? They had the begining of the don juan they wanted to be. I'm talking about they finally became confident, charming, etc. Actually feel like they have become the man they wanted to be. But then due to some dramatic mistake, they question everything about their self. Turns into one spiral down to rock bottom. I mean like becoming extremly negative. Then makes some head way. Starts to do the things that led him to were his was before. But then just hits a wall and those negative feelings still reside and never kind of left. They kind of resurface again. I know this sounds foolish, and let me get to the point. I want to move on, know in a way I can become that person again. But seems to something holding me back. Not sure what it is. And not sure what to do to get over. Idk. I would greatly appreciate any input.

Thanks,
Tall5

 

[Docs]

Expectation sucks doesn't it? You expected girls to be all over you, money to befall you and everything right?

 

[Jay Jay]

You were not very specific but I'll have a stab in the dark here.

We are taught in our ****ed up western society that material success is life success. That our goals should be to own things and have beautiful women and to have people look up to us.

That is really shallow.

Having a healthy sex life, being confident is social situations is onl;y a tiny piece of the puzzle in being an fulfilled human being.

Furthermore a lot of posts here don't even advise healthy sex life or relationships.

Its all eg ego ego.

There is way more to it than that.

I'm going to get spiritual and philosophical on you here.

In eastern philosophy and spirituality you have seven energy centres called chakras. They open as you become a more evolved human. It is our base desire to open all seven.

Sex is in the second chakra. Confidence is in the third. Being able to mack it is still early on the path to self growth.

In psychology Freud and Jung have a heirachy of needs and sex and companionship is pretty low on those scales too.

Basically it is postulated that a human will always be striving for growth.

Look within. Do you have unresolved issues?

Look beyond your horizons. Is there more you want to do?

I dunno... I don't have the answers to your psyche, just throwing out some ideas.

JJ

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

But seems to something holding me back. Not sure what it is. And not sure what to do to get over. Idk. I would greatly appreciate any input.

Its you.

Your past self. Everything that once defined you, your dreams, your habits, your memories, your thoughts. Its your past self.

Your mind is trying to revert back to that. Its like your default state, its comfortable its that state, least resistance. No unknowns, nothing now to worry about. Its like water, it naturally flows down the path of least resistance.


The best advice I can give you is not to give in. If its really important to you, don't let all that stuff in the past dictate anything. Become what you want. Use your willpower, that's what its for. Making things happen.


If you would like a bit of mental boost, I would suggest some meditation to get your thoughts in order, that and to clear the chaos in there. Also try some affirmations, they can help alot. Do affirmations for no more than 20 min a day total. Anymore and it becomes redundant and actually kind of a chore after awhile.


Is this of any help? If not I can point you to some great resources that are far more informative.

 

[tobby]

Call_Me_Daddy has hit this one right on the head. It's the fact that people naturally realize in life, but don't want to admit: you have to take responsibility for your actions regardless of the outcome.

If you fail miserably, you have to find some willpower (whether it's religion/etc.) and pick yourself back up.

If you succeed, then power to you!

There are so many goods and bads of life, but the thing that makes a person is how they choose to let those things affect them. You can either stay down forever and let the world pass you by, or you can stand up and do something about it.

It took me 7 seven years of failing, being depressed and suicidal, and avoiding the world to figure this out. Don't make the same mistakes!!!

 

[Obsidian]

You ought to always strive to keep your emotions stable, even in "successful" times. Pook says that true success means being a real man, asking out girls, etc regardless of whether or not it actually pays off. (In the long run being a DJ will most likely pay off, but that's not the point.)

Don't think, "Hey I'm making tons of money/I've got three hot girls chasing me/everybody loves me so my life is good." Just think, "Hmm, nice. I guess I'm just having a good week...because I'm not doing anything noticeably different from last month when everything seemed bleak." 0utward success will fluctuate (AFCs depend on it entirely, hence their emphasis on "getting lucky" rather than improving their marketability) Eventually you should be able to train yourself to live apart from outw ard success or failure.

As Jay Jay suggested, real men shouldn't pride themselves on human opinions and all that shallow, fickle nonsense.

 

[dtrg]

i understand i think. my downfall was smoking grass. try to stop smoking for a while if you do.

 

[Fenderules]

i agree. I think "if i had all the money in the world and all the woman would i be happy?'

i look at this goal realistic and honesltly i know i wouldnd be. Because there is more 2 life then that. I'd prolly be just as depressed as i am now when im down. I always ask myself "is there more to life then this"

its all about growth wheater its through personality, wisdom, knowledge or passion.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah smoking grass is bad for that.

i really dont wanna be a pot head my whole life. thats a really pathetic life.

i like to party but i dont see the point in doing it 24/7.