Something i recommend you ask a woman fairly early on

Ricky

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I am not saying to ask this on a first date but if you have any intention of becoming exclusive with her after several dates….

Ask about her relationship with her dad. If he was absent, or a weak dad… consider that it may be best not to get involved with her

My wife’s father wasn’t very involved. I feel like i am paying for it now.
 

metalwater

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unfortunately, the way we learn and get experience usually is by pain.

what are the problems we will have if the Dad is weak or not involved with the girl?
 

Ricky

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I am not a psychologist but i believe at some point their issues with their father will come back to haunt you.

They will rebel against you as if shadow boxing or punishing the father figure in their life.
 

Black Widow Void

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The majority of SoSuave forum members also grew up in a dysfunctional family environment (self included).

Admittedly, I’m making a generality… but we men seem to be making efforts to unravel any past unhealthy environments, while most women seem to feel more comfortable in maintaining an unhealthy environment.
 

Ricky

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I am sorry. I wrote this post when i was upset at my wife and my efforts to single source my frustration to her past arent really helpful.

That is a good point that alot of people had difficult family situations
 

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metalwater

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yes; for me, I can recall different exes. more or less I had the same problems with them, and they had very different fathers. one father died young, another was a poor loser, and yet another was a masculine leader of men.

the common thing in the issues was ME...

I think with proper leadership and RP knowledge a woman or at least the environment can be managed ok even if her father was gone or a mess.

But everything I have ever read tells the same thing as the OP premise, that missing father or bad father is a path to a bad woman. maybe it is more difficult, but I think it can be done by an aware man.

It's very difficult to next a woman we like albeit should be done sometimes. It's ten times more difficult to walk back disrespect into respect and admiration. most men want to do it when trouble comes, it doesn't usually work out but it can be done. but the memory will always be.
The best thing to do is next a woman that needs that and try again(but remember AWALT). I am aware of men who have walked it back but none that recommend that as the best path for the man.
 

Black Widow Void

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I am sorry. I wrote this post when i was upset at my wife and my efforts to single source my frustration to her past arent really helpful.

That is a good point that alot of people had difficult family situations
I can’t speak for everyone, but I think the main consensus is that there’s no need for an apology. in my opinion, that’s what we’re here for and that’s what the board is here for (expressing our thoughts - even if we later take a different position).

We’re all human. Sometimes we express knee-jerk things. The fact that you can self-reflect and learn from things that you may regret… shows that you are more evolved than many.
 

Plinco

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In my recent experience, women are all over this little trick now.

The last time I asked a chick about her Dad she literally said "trying to psychoanalyze me to see if I have daddy issues huh?"
"Yes I am actually"
 

EyeBRollin

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I don’t know how true this is. My fiancé has a strong, strict father. A lot of what she gets upset at me about is “how much I remind her of him and it scares her.” She doesn’t ever speak highly of him yet her and her siblings all turned out to be good citizens with morals. Not sure what to make of that.
 

Barrister

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I don’t know how true this is. My fiancé has a strong, strict father. A lot of what she gets upset at me about is “how much I remind her of him and it scares her.” She doesn’t ever speak highly of him yet her and her siblings all turned out to be good citizens with morals. Not sure what to make of that.
I am no psychologist - but I am guessing if your fiancee's father ONLY displayed strictness to her and was overall cold towards her with no positive, warm feelings that this probably impacted her in a negative way as well. Being strong and strict are both good qualities to have towards children, but temperance with genuine feelings of care and compassion also are important.
 

Mike32ct

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I have no insights on the father issue. Defer to the others on that.

As for siblings:

She has at least one brother -- Ideal. She understands men and probably has a good sense of humor.

She only has sisters -- So So. Better than nothing.

She is an only child - Probably spoiled.
 

anonymous12345

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if she loves her Dad then I dunno what happens because I’ve never met a woman who loves her Dad. It’s usually hate or indifference. I think this partially comes from decades of “dorky dad” social programming with shows like the Simpsons, Family Guy, Home Improvement - Dads are made out to be annoying losers. This effects real life culture and how dads are perceived.
Well, it's not only media, it's that it's hard to find good men, especially fathers. My father is over weight, likes to eat ice cream and pat cats, idealises various celebrities (men) that he find funny and cool. Year after year. When I cold approached two girls at a restaurant he said "Gee, I would never have dared that." The dude is thirty years older than me or whatever.

I know off hand about three men I consider "good" fathers:
  • A retired surgeon. Dances tango and goes to the gym.
  • A navy seals (etc), alpha-ish baller
  • Another tango dancer, he just does it all right
A lot of men are these simping, blue-pill betas that are in pathetic relationships. Note, we all hunt plates or whatever's your preference, but one should also celebrate what one is NOT engaged in.

I got red-pilled too late for kids (and I honestly don't feel like it either, so far), but these guys above show that kids is possible to do in a good way while remaining a respectable man. This was not obvious for me. I never really saw an example of a family (life) that I wanted to experience again. My dad was a feminine man living in a different country, visiting on weekends and so. Wtf. Some good stuff, like how to talk with people and a music collection that happened to shape me, but what made my life acceptable was surely not by him. Some got it more worse, like lacking basic necessities or abuse.

But I'm also pissed that men don't get that women needs to be monitored such that they don't go crazy on their "sons". Otherwise people like Dr. Robert Glover gets a **** load of a back log writing things like No More Mr. Nice Guy.
 

Am Shaegar

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Ask about her relationship with her dad. If he was absent, or a weak dad… consider that it may be best not to get involved with her
Instead of asking a woman and possibly being lied to by her, you can also be just really oldschool and demand to meet her family and see for yourself. Look at the mother and you know how the daugther will physically age and you will see her father live and in color(or not) and how he is treated by her and the rest of the family. If the woman refuses that you meet her family, you will know what relationship you truly have with her and what type of woman she is.
 

logicallefty

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My experiences with dating women over the years has shown me that the OP is 1000% correct on this; women who have good relationships with their dads tend to be less damaged overall. All women are damaged, but these women far less. Seen it time and time and time again.
 

Ricky

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Instead of asking a woman and possibly being lied to by her, you can also be just really oldschool and demand to meet her family and see for yourself. Look at the mother and you know how the daugther will physically age and you will see her father live and in color(or not) and how he is treated by her and the rest of the family. If the woman refuses that you meet her family, you will know what relationship you truly have with her and what type of woman she is.
Thats actually really good and so opposite of what i had done in past. I was always happy not to meet the family lol
 

Ricky

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In my recent experience, women are all over this little trick now.

The last time I asked a chick about her Dad she literally said "trying to psychoanalyze me to see if I have daddy issues huh?"
Didn't think about this one...
 

Pierce Manhammer

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One of my qualifying questions is if they sleep well, as in a deep sleeper. IME women who are shoddy sleepers are neurotic AF, never mind they're always irritable and hate it if you try to poke them in the middle of the night. Never fails to be true.

Ask about her relationship with her dad. If he was absent, or a weak dad… consider that it may be best not to get involved with her
 
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IKO69

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Yeah, that's definitely something that is important to find out (if you decide to go steady). If she has a poor relationship with her father, doesn't respect/hates him, how do you think she'll treat you? It is impossible she could ever fully love/respect you as a man when she doesn't even respect one of the two people responsible for her very existence.

More than likely she'll volunteer some kind of information about her father, and then you can innocently ask questions like if they talk & see each other often etc. Ask what you need too.
 

ubercat

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Yes women seem to think any relationship is better than none. But the V dries up
 
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