What is wrong with me, seriously? Even if the girl is making some good eye contact and smiling, I still won't approach them. Then I'm kicking myself after I see someone that I know I look a lot better than go up and start talking to the girl. I've read the DJBible, and I still can't seem to shake the worries, but last night I think I got some motivation. Good lookin broad was eyeing me, my wingman says, "let's go talk to those girls." I respond, "later." So later rolls around and some old balding guy had already moved in. I'm confident in my looks and physique, but when it comes to talking to girls that I don't know, frankly, I'm a p|_|ssy. If I see a girl that I've seen before, or is one of my classes, I've got no problem talking to them. Any suggestions on how to get the balls to go approach?
Someone give me a swift kick to the groin ...
- Thread starter J2K
- Start date
My own "if your balls shrink" manual..
When you’re at home you long for a chick to try all your knowledge on, and when she appears you gonna let her go just like that?! Wussyyyyyyyy…
What have you learnt all these for? Just knowledge? NO! Practical. Practical.
When you’re at home you have such big balls huh? What happened to it now? You already can imagine yourself getting a girl’s number when you’re at home right?!!! You think it’s simple. And yes, it IS!
What have you been telling your friends? All those real happenings, are they plausible now if you do not do it now? What if they’re looking at you from afar or testing you with this chick?
What have you been telling online about what YOU would do if you had a girl you HAD to hit on? They now think you’re some don juan and you’re NOT preaching what YOU said???
What’s the worst to happen? Nothing much!! You’re CASUALLY approaching, not using force, if she turns violent, it’s HER FAULT. Then you could talk to her persona. “Look, I don’t know..”
When you’re at home you long for a chick to try all your knowledge on, and when she appears you gonna let her go just like that?! Wussyyyyyyyy…
What have you learnt all these for? Just knowledge? NO! Practical. Practical.
When you’re at home you have such big balls huh? What happened to it now? You already can imagine yourself getting a girl’s number when you’re at home right?!!! You think it’s simple. And yes, it IS!
What have you been telling your friends? All those real happenings, are they plausible now if you do not do it now? What if they’re looking at you from afar or testing you with this chick?
What have you been telling online about what YOU would do if you had a girl you HAD to hit on? They now think you’re some don juan and you’re NOT preaching what YOU said???
What’s the worst to happen? Nothing much!! You’re CASUALLY approaching, not using force, if she turns violent, it’s HER FAULT. Then you could talk to her persona. “Look, I don’t know..”
Kicks you swiftly to the groin! ... Actually I have a similar problem in some situations, for some reason I find it harder approaching chics who I can tell have an interest in me versus chics who I just met right away...
For some reason if a chic is constantly checking me out or giving me major EC, I am more shy... !? I gotta get over dat ****.
For some reason if a chic is constantly checking me out or giving me major EC, I am more shy... !? I gotta get over dat ****.
You've got some issues inside of yourself, like everybody else. The DJ Bible won't ever help you iron them out, only temporarily cover them up so that nobody else can see them. But YOU still feel them. Even these "masters" who go through affirmations everyday ("I'm a DJ, I'm confident, fake it till I make it") will never feel comfortable approaching because even though they look and post like they have their shyt together - they STILL feel their insecurities and know they are there, and are trembling during the approach.
Figure out what happened in your past that gave you the misperception that girls are some sacred, dangerous creature that we should be scared of when we interact with them. Were you rejected before? Why did it matter to you so much? What did it feel like? Iron that out. Then realize that these girls are just people, just shells with their own MO just like us. Who they are inside, we don't know. But we gain perceptions based on how "hot" they are and it is those perceptions that petrify us. It's simply talking to a girl, nothing harmful, nothing worth being nervous about. But anytime that you ask yourself "What if she does this, or what if she says that...." before you approach, you have submitted to the fear, given it a face, and have lost the battle once more.
Figure out what happened in your past that gave you the misperception that girls are some sacred, dangerous creature that we should be scared of when we interact with them. Were you rejected before? Why did it matter to you so much? What did it feel like? Iron that out. Then realize that these girls are just people, just shells with their own MO just like us. Who they are inside, we don't know. But we gain perceptions based on how "hot" they are and it is those perceptions that petrify us. It's simply talking to a girl, nothing harmful, nothing worth being nervous about. But anytime that you ask yourself "What if she does this, or what if she says that...." before you approach, you have submitted to the fear, given it a face, and have lost the battle once more.
HighLowJack
Don Juan
Just suck it up and go do it. Your going to be scared. Your going to be nervous. But just do it. Its ok to stumble over your words and act all stupid. Because if you screw it up bad, your just going to try it again on the next hot looking girl. Eventually your going to be ok with it. Hot looking girls are just people like you and your buddy's.
I think one of the main reasons hot looking girls are so hard to approach is because they have confidence blowing off them. There confident because they've had any guy then want since they started like boys. That's a long time. Hot looking girls are also used to guys that have a lot of confidence. There the only that will approach them, and not be afraid.
Confidence can be intimidating if you don't have any. I bet if you went up to a hot girl who was insecure and shy, you would have more balls then you ever thought you did.
I think one of the main reasons hot looking girls are so hard to approach is because they have confidence blowing off them. There confident because they've had any guy then want since they started like boys. That's a long time. Hot looking girls are also used to guys that have a lot of confidence. There the only that will approach them, and not be afraid.
Confidence can be intimidating if you don't have any. I bet if you went up to a hot girl who was insecure and shy, you would have more balls then you ever thought you did.
"I think one of the main reasons hot looking girls are so hard to approach is because they have confidence blowing off them. There confident because they've had any guy then want since they started like boys.
Ah HA! This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Since this girl is "hot", a label which WE'VE given her, we all-of-a-sudden assume that she's confident, good in bed, care-free, fun, etc. But we have NO IDEA who she is. She might be a fvckin mess inside, or her pvssy might smell like pickles. You don't know. That's why we need to understand that whats' hot about her is allllll an illusion. You give her the power to intimidate you. To bring out your insecurities. Figure out what the insecurities are, see her as the illusion she is tucked inside of a shell, and see there's nothing to be petrified of.
Ah HA! This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Since this girl is "hot", a label which WE'VE given her, we all-of-a-sudden assume that she's confident, good in bed, care-free, fun, etc. But we have NO IDEA who she is. She might be a fvckin mess inside, or her pvssy might smell like pickles. You don't know. That's why we need to understand that whats' hot about her is allllll an illusion. You give her the power to intimidate you. To bring out your insecurities. Figure out what the insecurities are, see her as the illusion she is tucked inside of a shell, and see there's nothing to be petrified of.
HighLowJack
Don Juan
Thats good. I like that saying.
They can chase their own *****-ass tales women "NEED" us wether they like to bieve that they don't or not, they NEED us... Security, comfort, love...
we are and shuold be being independant and see what happens
Men back in the 20's-50's used to OWN
women "NEED" us wether they like to bieve that they don't or not, they NEED us... Security, comfort, love... we are and shuold be being independant and see what happens
Men back in the 20's-50's used to OWN
You just have to force yourself to do it, and you will realize the anticipation was worse than actually doing it. It's like the first time I rode a rollercoaster. Waiting in line, with all the fear and anticipation building, was much worse than the actual ride.
Granted, I still get cold feet from time to time when it comes to approaching complete strangers. There's actually a tip on the main page about going out with the -goal- of getting rejected. I have done this before and it actually does work. If it helps, start by approaching some dumbass girls you don't care about at all. Shamelessly use them for target practice. Then you can gradually move up to girls you actually like. The interesting thing is, you won't get flat out rejected as much as you expect.
Granted, I still get cold feet from time to time when it comes to approaching complete strangers. There's actually a tip on the main page about going out with the -goal- of getting rejected. I have done this before and it actually does work. If it helps, start by approaching some dumbass girls you don't care about at all. Shamelessly use them for target practice. Then you can gradually move up to girls you actually like. The interesting thing is, you won't get flat out rejected as much as you expect.
salthepal
Don Juan
hey J2K , i know exactly what you mean ...
and guys, i do suck it up and do the approach , but i can't seem to finish it .. almost always I CHICKEN OUT ..
the last i approached in college was looking around for some announcement, so i just grabbed my balls and asked he " are you looking for something?" ..
you know what her reaction was ?? she laughed !!! not a b*tchy laugh, kinda like a surprised and relieved coz i'm not a psycho laugh .. but boy did she throw me off track !!!
and guys, i do suck it up and do the approach , but i can't seem to finish it .. almost always I CHICKEN OUT ..
the last i approached in college was looking around for some announcement, so i just grabbed my balls and asked he " are you looking for something?" ..
you know what her reaction was ?? she laughed !!! not a b*tchy laugh, kinda like a surprised and relieved coz i'm not a psycho laugh .. but boy did she throw me off track !!!
Starman
Master Don Juan
Blitz hit it right on,
your self esteem and self worth is waay low, and it probably stems from some childhood issues (i.e. always being rejected by parents, peers, friends, girls?) that you really need to go back and get a handle on.
There is no quick cure to give you the balls to approach a chick that is already giving you the signals.
I cannot give you any tips or potions to make these insecurities go away. But one thing I will say is, YOU NEED to CONQUER this fear because it will cripple you in your life with women, career, social life etc.
Go buy PsychoCybernetics and do the homework assignments in the book to try to find out what the problem is, or go see your school counselor and shoot the sh1t with him for a bit (they are FREE)
in the mean time, take baby steps and try approaching ALOT of women, ugly, old , fat..it will eventually desensitize your fears
your self esteem and self worth is waay low, and it probably stems from some childhood issues (i.e. always being rejected by parents, peers, friends, girls?) that you really need to go back and get a handle on.
There is no quick cure to give you the balls to approach a chick that is already giving you the signals.
I cannot give you any tips or potions to make these insecurities go away. But one thing I will say is, YOU NEED to CONQUER this fear because it will cripple you in your life with women, career, social life etc.
Go buy PsychoCybernetics and do the homework assignments in the book to try to find out what the problem is, or go see your school counselor and shoot the sh1t with him for a bit (they are FREE)
in the mean time, take baby steps and try approaching ALOT of women, ugly, old , fat..it will eventually desensitize your fears
TesuqueRed
Master Don Juan
I agree with the start small---practice on simply talking with counter-persons, etc. Get comfortable. Then escalate to talking with a stranger--any and every stranger! (ask directions, comment on something goofy nearby, whatever...). Then do this with younger and prettier women.
If you've already gone through this stuff, then all that remains is to grab balls firmly, squeeze hard, twist once and walk over...
...like 30 times...
...this weekend...
If you've already gone through this stuff, then all that remains is to grab balls firmly, squeeze hard, twist once and walk over...
...like 30 times...
...this weekend...
Player_Supreme
Banned
instead of a kick how about this:
uhhh never mind
uhhh never mind
Walden
Master Don Juan
*Kicks J2K in the nads*
No reason , I've just been hankering to do that since the martial arts thread.
No reason , I've just been hankering to do that since the martial arts thread.
ADVICE:
The REJECTION-GAME:
Bet with your wingman about who can get REJECTED more in 1 hour. Then go around somewhere to get phone #s. Shoot for at least 20 rejections (phone nnumbers dont count). After a while, you wont give a **** about what those hoes think and your game will improve mucho.
The REJECTION-GAME:
Bet with your wingman about who can get REJECTED more in 1 hour. Then go around somewhere to get phone #s. Shoot for at least 20 rejections (phone nnumbers dont count). After a while, you wont give a **** about what those hoes think and your game will improve mucho.
Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
jaysgt
Don Juan
funny thing i just had this happen tonight. heres the thing my confidence level was way high i have to say i was looking good. went to the bar fox and hound good looking women everywhere. Its kinda of up scale sports bar. well my waitress hb8 started with just small talk off and threw some lines at her, got her laughing, started the kino, right before i left closed with numbers
ME: well hey before i go why dont you give me your home number we can hang out some time.
HER: well i would but i have a bf.
ME: really well i have two gf you better catch up.(the look on her face was priceless)
HER: oh my god! why two gf
ME: why not i am a great catch, what is your bf the jealus type?
HER: yeah i hate it
ME: what kind of man is that your better then that. give me your number and we will see what happens..
that was that she wrote is down i was on my way.
well i thought all was good get to the next bar i was thinking alright up on my game this is great then the death blow.
there is this hb7 well with that ass an 8 and i heard she just broke up with her bf so i see her over there we make ec for like 7 seconds or so. i should have jumped on it but no i stop and think about it not about rejection but nothing at all. my mind went blank the more i thought about it i did nothing.. no matter what i did and how much she gave every sign to me to come take her i did nothing and why? i thought about it. the first hb8 i never thought about it just did it. liek a reaction. this one well he who hesitates masturbates.. learned that leason dont think just do.
ME: well hey before i go why dont you give me your home number we can hang out some time.
HER: well i would but i have a bf.
ME: really well i have two gf you better catch up.(the look on her face was priceless)
HER: oh my god! why two gf
ME: why not i am a great catch, what is your bf the jealus type?
HER: yeah i hate it
ME: what kind of man is that your better then that. give me your number and we will see what happens..
that was that she wrote is down i was on my way.
well i thought all was good get to the next bar i was thinking alright up on my game this is great then the death blow.
there is this hb7 well with that ass an 8 and i heard she just broke up with her bf so i see her over there we make ec for like 7 seconds or so. i should have jumped on it but no i stop and think about it not about rejection but nothing at all. my mind went blank the more i thought about it i did nothing.. no matter what i did and how much she gave every sign to me to come take her i did nothing and why? i thought about it. the first hb8 i never thought about it just did it. liek a reaction. this one well he who hesitates masturbates.. learned that leason dont think just do.