I deserve it.
About a year ago I went out with this South American girl. In the end she turned out to be BPD (actually I'm not so sure about that diagnosis, BORDERLINE personality disorder - it seems to me there was nothing borderline about it). I know that term gets thrown around a fair amount on this forum but trust me this girl was wacko.
She was unlike any other girl I'd been with before. She was good looking (face pretty but body great) and yet, from the first time we met, she showed massive interest in me. After each date she would write and tell me how wonderful I was, how she thought God had sent me into her life, etc. I thought it was a bit over the top and at first did the sensible thing and played it cool anyway but eventually she wore me down and I started reciprocating the affection. I let my guard down.
After that the drama started. And boy was there a lot of drama. The below is just a sampling of some of the things that happened in a one month period:
- E-mails out of the blue telling me that she was having financial problems and so didn't intend to go out for a month
- Her repeatedly bringing up stuff I had done or failed to do. For example after our first date I told her at the end of the date that maybe we could meet next weekend. Now you might say that's AFC (arranging a date on a date) and I agree. However after that she gave me a hard time, on many separate occasions, for not wanting to do something with her in the week, i.e she thought I was showing too casual an attitude. Yet then when I asked her to do stuff in the week she would go on about how crazy and busy her life was and how I shouldn't pressure her to meet up.
- Her talking for hours and hours at a time about her university course and how unbelievably hard it was and how she had to work until 3am every day (this to someone who has been through medschool). Subsequently after talking to one of her friends at the same uni I found out that her course was actually not that hard at all - basically one just had to turn up for lectures.
- She told me about how she had been raped while high on cocaine when she was a teenager. Also her Dad left home when she was very young and her family was totally dysfunctional.
- Brother arrested for a serious crime. I spent a whole weekend trying to help her out with that one.
- She would come back after dinners I had taken her to and then go on Skype, talking to her Mum for an hour or so even though there was no particular emergency. Not only that but later on she started going and chatting to her ex-boyfriend online while in my apartment. A couple of times I got frustrated with this and expressed my unhappiness with the situation. She accused me of having a bad temper and being unreasonably.
- She would talk for hours and hours about ex boyfriends of hers, sometimes describing the sex she had with them (always saying it was really good). On the couple of occasions I just mentioned exes of mine she got almost pathologically jealous and accused me of still being in love with them.
- Witholding sex more and more then accusing me of only being interested in sex when I confronted her about it
- Minor, but very irritating stuff like taking me with her to get a new phone then arguing with the staff for 3 hours over a very small amount of money. Not apologising to me afterwards for me having to sit there for 3 hours when I could have been doing something better (like slitting my wrists).
- During this time I read chats she was having with her ex - even though we were together she was talking to this guy about the possibility of them getting married in the future
- Never introducing me as a boyfriend to her friends. She would say the reason for this was that she knew I was going to mess her around and leave her.
- Constantly telling me I wasn't being serious about her, even though I had never shown any signs of not being serious. Also accusing me of seeing other girls (damn I only wish I had been).
- Going from one extreme to another in terms of her interest. This was way beyond normal 'push' and 'pull'. It was literally 'I love you so much I never want to let you go' one day, to 'I can't see this working out at all' on another day, with nothing happening in between.
Ok there is LOT'S more, but you get the picture right.
For some reason though I was under this *****'s spell, for a while at least. Eventually I came to my senses and the spell wore off. One night we had dinner and she was constantly texting on her phone (or going on Facebook - she's one of these people with zillions of Facebook friends) and just being extremely rude. By the time we got back to the apartment my blood was boiling. Then she started going on about how Europeans were rude and haughty. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. This girl had previously gone on about how much she hated it when people said negative things about South America (fair enough) but she felt totally entitled to lay into Europeans. I told her to get the f*ck out of my apartment. After that I felt this palpable sense of relief that I was rid of this nightmare.
After 6 months no contact she contacts me through Facebook just saying that she heard from her friends that they had bumped into me (it happened at a club) and that she had wanted to write to me and tell me that she was grateful for helping her through a difficult time in her life, etc. No apology, no admission that she was the one, clearly, who was totally at fault for the 'relationship' going so badly (and believe me I can admit that in other relationships it's been much more my fault, but not this one). Nothing.
She has a new boyfriend now. This is a guy that she was in contact with when I was going out with her, just as a friend (although she made it clear he was interested in her as she made it clear that many guys were interested in her). She did mention in her Facebook message that they got together, but it was months after we split up. I know for a fact, 100% that that is not true and that she started dating him the week after we broke up.
Anyway this guy is a bit of a joke to look at although I guess that's not really relevant. I know from her telling me that she sabotaged countless relationships in the past. Of course the way she told it she didn't sabotage the relationships, but it was clear that that is what happened (some of her mails I read confirmed that). I can't imagine how she can have a normal relationship with anybody. However I do know that this guy is a total wuss and yields to her in everything. Maybe that's why it works. Also he's so kind of fat and unattractive that maybe she feels secure with him?
Ok this is why I need to get smacked hard. Since she got back in touch with me I can't stop thinking about her! What the f*ck? She's not even that hot at all. I mean her body is smoking but face is average and her nose looks like a child made it out of playdough. More than that she is a crazy evil c**t. There is just nothing good about this girl. I remember when we were on dates together I'd often want to shoot myself, or her, in the head. She was as boring as they come and utterly self obsessed.
So why the hell am I thinking about her? I can honestly say that before she contacted me I had thought of her maybe ten times in a 7 month period, and that was just to think 'Why did I ever bother with that crazy b**ch?'. The sex with her was really good but that was about it.
Now I find myself thinking about meeting up with her, even kind of daydreaming about getting back together with her. I guess I have to acknowledge that I must be a bit messed up myself (although at least I have the insight to see it, which she never would).
I should have no contact with this woman ever again should I? I have to be honest part of the reason I want to be in contact with her again is because I know she is a disaster waiting to happen and I want to be there to witness it when it does.
About a year ago I went out with this South American girl. In the end she turned out to be BPD (actually I'm not so sure about that diagnosis, BORDERLINE personality disorder - it seems to me there was nothing borderline about it). I know that term gets thrown around a fair amount on this forum but trust me this girl was wacko.
She was unlike any other girl I'd been with before. She was good looking (face pretty but body great) and yet, from the first time we met, she showed massive interest in me. After each date she would write and tell me how wonderful I was, how she thought God had sent me into her life, etc. I thought it was a bit over the top and at first did the sensible thing and played it cool anyway but eventually she wore me down and I started reciprocating the affection. I let my guard down.
After that the drama started. And boy was there a lot of drama. The below is just a sampling of some of the things that happened in a one month period:
- E-mails out of the blue telling me that she was having financial problems and so didn't intend to go out for a month
- Her repeatedly bringing up stuff I had done or failed to do. For example after our first date I told her at the end of the date that maybe we could meet next weekend. Now you might say that's AFC (arranging a date on a date) and I agree. However after that she gave me a hard time, on many separate occasions, for not wanting to do something with her in the week, i.e she thought I was showing too casual an attitude. Yet then when I asked her to do stuff in the week she would go on about how crazy and busy her life was and how I shouldn't pressure her to meet up.
- Her talking for hours and hours at a time about her university course and how unbelievably hard it was and how she had to work until 3am every day (this to someone who has been through medschool). Subsequently after talking to one of her friends at the same uni I found out that her course was actually not that hard at all - basically one just had to turn up for lectures.
- She told me about how she had been raped while high on cocaine when she was a teenager. Also her Dad left home when she was very young and her family was totally dysfunctional.
- Brother arrested for a serious crime. I spent a whole weekend trying to help her out with that one.
- She would come back after dinners I had taken her to and then go on Skype, talking to her Mum for an hour or so even though there was no particular emergency. Not only that but later on she started going and chatting to her ex-boyfriend online while in my apartment. A couple of times I got frustrated with this and expressed my unhappiness with the situation. She accused me of having a bad temper and being unreasonably.
- She would talk for hours and hours about ex boyfriends of hers, sometimes describing the sex she had with them (always saying it was really good). On the couple of occasions I just mentioned exes of mine she got almost pathologically jealous and accused me of still being in love with them.
- Witholding sex more and more then accusing me of only being interested in sex when I confronted her about it
- Minor, but very irritating stuff like taking me with her to get a new phone then arguing with the staff for 3 hours over a very small amount of money. Not apologising to me afterwards for me having to sit there for 3 hours when I could have been doing something better (like slitting my wrists).
- During this time I read chats she was having with her ex - even though we were together she was talking to this guy about the possibility of them getting married in the future
- Never introducing me as a boyfriend to her friends. She would say the reason for this was that she knew I was going to mess her around and leave her.
- Constantly telling me I wasn't being serious about her, even though I had never shown any signs of not being serious. Also accusing me of seeing other girls (damn I only wish I had been).
- Going from one extreme to another in terms of her interest. This was way beyond normal 'push' and 'pull'. It was literally 'I love you so much I never want to let you go' one day, to 'I can't see this working out at all' on another day, with nothing happening in between.
Ok there is LOT'S more, but you get the picture right.
For some reason though I was under this *****'s spell, for a while at least. Eventually I came to my senses and the spell wore off. One night we had dinner and she was constantly texting on her phone (or going on Facebook - she's one of these people with zillions of Facebook friends) and just being extremely rude. By the time we got back to the apartment my blood was boiling. Then she started going on about how Europeans were rude and haughty. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. This girl had previously gone on about how much she hated it when people said negative things about South America (fair enough) but she felt totally entitled to lay into Europeans. I told her to get the f*ck out of my apartment. After that I felt this palpable sense of relief that I was rid of this nightmare.
After 6 months no contact she contacts me through Facebook just saying that she heard from her friends that they had bumped into me (it happened at a club) and that she had wanted to write to me and tell me that she was grateful for helping her through a difficult time in her life, etc. No apology, no admission that she was the one, clearly, who was totally at fault for the 'relationship' going so badly (and believe me I can admit that in other relationships it's been much more my fault, but not this one). Nothing.
She has a new boyfriend now. This is a guy that she was in contact with when I was going out with her, just as a friend (although she made it clear he was interested in her as she made it clear that many guys were interested in her). She did mention in her Facebook message that they got together, but it was months after we split up. I know for a fact, 100% that that is not true and that she started dating him the week after we broke up.
Anyway this guy is a bit of a joke to look at although I guess that's not really relevant. I know from her telling me that she sabotaged countless relationships in the past. Of course the way she told it she didn't sabotage the relationships, but it was clear that that is what happened (some of her mails I read confirmed that). I can't imagine how she can have a normal relationship with anybody. However I do know that this guy is a total wuss and yields to her in everything. Maybe that's why it works. Also he's so kind of fat and unattractive that maybe she feels secure with him?
Ok this is why I need to get smacked hard. Since she got back in touch with me I can't stop thinking about her! What the f*ck? She's not even that hot at all. I mean her body is smoking but face is average and her nose looks like a child made it out of playdough. More than that she is a crazy evil c**t. There is just nothing good about this girl. I remember when we were on dates together I'd often want to shoot myself, or her, in the head. She was as boring as they come and utterly self obsessed.
So why the hell am I thinking about her? I can honestly say that before she contacted me I had thought of her maybe ten times in a 7 month period, and that was just to think 'Why did I ever bother with that crazy b**ch?'. The sex with her was really good but that was about it.
Now I find myself thinking about meeting up with her, even kind of daydreaming about getting back together with her. I guess I have to acknowledge that I must be a bit messed up myself (although at least I have the insight to see it, which she never would).
I should have no contact with this woman ever again should I? I have to be honest part of the reason I want to be in contact with her again is because I know she is a disaster waiting to happen and I want to be there to witness it when it does.
I have never ever fogot about the bpd women i dated.I dont dwell on what could have been and the awsome sex?Insteed i use them to never forget all the fvckn drama and just plain misery they put me thru.These women also opened my eyes to the fact that i myself have to be npd to have put up with this as long as i did.Im actually going to make an appointment with a shrink and see if i am npd? So mabye some good things can happen from the bpd experence afterall?
