Some "religious" musings, feel free to chime in

[LearningSlowly]

So I'm studying the teachings of the Buddha (as obvious by all my New-Age, vague spiritual advice lately). I believe that by reaching toward enlightenment, all problems dissolve and you attract positivity from all angles (if you don't believe this, accept it for the sake of this discussion).

It's easy for me to understand certain defilements. These are ill-will, laziness, restlessness, and worry. It's obvious these make you unhappy, and I constantly practice mindfulness to purge these elements from myself. It's not hard, and it's worth the effort.

But the Buddha also preaches that sex and sensual desires are a hinderance to someone seeking to become enlightened. It isn't just about being celibate, it's about purging sex from your mind. This I have not achieved and I am challenged by it.

I masturbate often, usually because its a free, immediate euphoria. I haven't noticed many detriments to this, it seems to be a victimless crime.

Does anyone have thoughts on why the Buddha believes sex is an obstacle to enlightenment? If we were to rank sexual practice from most detrimental to least, how would that list go? (For example, rape would be very detrimental to spiritual development, and looking at a woman sexual would be much less detrimental).

 

[LearningSlowly]

Well Josh, I'm glad you asked!!


Let me get this going a little. If I could answer my own question, I would say that sex is an obstacle to enlightenment because it creates desires that must be fulfilled or else create unhappiness. By looking at "beautiful" girls, we create mental concepts of good and bad. We forget that they will decay and become ugly, like everything in this world, and we have false beliefs on perfection.

On the other hand, sex can be an incredible spiritual experience. Masturbation or mental masturbation is almost never a spiritual experience.

What does everyone else think?

 

[Galvan]

It depends on the various interpretations.

But in overall, mindfulness is about feeling whole with everything and full with peace. And when you achieve that you stop worrying about anywhing, and stop even some feelings.

The logic is simple:
You feel comfortable in your chair when you don't feel the chair. You forget about the chair.
You feel uncomfortable with your skin when a mosquitoe stings you. So, you are picturing the stung area constantly. Hence, that hinders your mindfulness.
When you recover from the sting, you forget about that.
Those who practice this in a real serious way stop feeling the wind in their skins and even icy cold temperatures when they are naked.

Sex is usually considered a hindering because it can work as a drug, and a hell of a strong one. It's easy to be apart from your center when you think about sex, because the desire feels enourmous. Having the sexual life denied and repressed makes many people feel way too empty.
And that's the problem. Many people (including myself) feel empty if they don't have their sexual life fulfilled. Even further, some people have impossible sex fantasies and are condemned to feel empty unless those people change their minds.


But, I repeat. That depends on the interpretations. Some other say that both sex and masturbation are fine as long as it doesn't make you feel the need of them. Something like "If you want to masturbate or have sex, fine then. But if you feel empty on the opposite case, then that's a bad sign".
That can explain why people who have sex with many people regularly are so sure about themselves. Unlike fidelity, they don't even depend on one person for feeling fine.

I was on an open relationship with a girl who hated fidelity and things where a really hard. I had a voice in my head repeating "She doesn't need you. Not even a little bit. So, if she find things a little hard, she will move without hesitating. Oh, and if she breaks up with you, unlike her, you'll be alone". It really sucked.

 

[LearningSlowly]

You feel comfortable in your chair when you don't feel the chair. You forget about the chair.
You feel uncomfortable with your skin when a mosquitoe stings you. So, you are picturing the stung area constantly. Hence, that hinders your mindfulness.
When you recover from the sting, you forget about that.

This is just a small correction, so we all have the right ideas on mindfulness.
To be mindful, you pay full attention to what your body feels and what your mind thinks. The mind is sometimes called the sixth sense for this reason.

To be mindful in a chair, you completely feel what it feels like on your thighs and lower back. You feel the sensation, and if you think about the chair, you notice the thought.

When you are stung, you feel the pain fully. You are not angry at what stung you, or at least you notice the angry thought if it exists. You let the pain exist until it is gone, or if the pain is overwhelming, you take practical steps to fix the sting. It is possible to be mindful while in pain.

Sex is usually considered a hindering because it can work as a drug, and a hell of a strong one. It's easy to be apart from your center when you think about sex, because the desire feels enourmous. Having the sexual life denied and repressed makes many people feel way too empty.

This is a good thought. Do people feel empty because their sex life is denied, or do people feel empty because they have expectations of what their sex life should be and these thoughts are not fulfilled in reality?

 

[Galvan]

This is a good thought. Do people feel empty because their sex life is denied, or do people feel empty because they have expectations of what their sex life should be and these thoughts are not fulfilled in reality?

If you go that far, then "denied" is also relative of the thoughts.
Yes, it's all about our thought of how our sex life should be in contrast with reality.

For example, my goal for sex life is to stop feeling dependent of a single girl. If a opportunity comes once in two years then it sucks, man. Because at the time on when that girl comes I'll not want to let her go for the loneliness that I feel.
But if I encounter an opportunity once per month or every weekend then hell, even the sadness of a breakup can last a blink.

As I added earlier:

That can explain why people who have sex with many people regularly are so sure about themselves. Unlike fidelity, they don't even depend on one person for feeling fine.

I was on an open relationship with a girl who hated fidelity and things where a really hard. I had a voice in my head repeating "She doesn't need you. Not even a little bit. So, if she find things a little hard, she will move without hesitating. Oh, and if she breaks up with you, unlike her, you'll be alone". It really sucked.

 

[LearningSlowly]

What if we look at loneliness as a mental sting?

The foolish man swats at the mosquito and complains all day to anyone who will listen.
The normal man brushes the mosquito away and complains inside his head.
The wise man says "Ah, pain! I've been stung! That mosquito must have needed to eat."

When you feel lonely, what is your reaction?
This question can only be answered through reflection and self-observation over time.

Question to anyone else: what problems make you think the most? Which ones make you complain the most in your head?

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Buddha didn't reach enlightenment until he stopped preaching physical denials.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Jaedon, you're right. Buddha starved himself and practiced self harm and other extreme forms of asceticism. I'm sure he didn't have sex as well for that period (he definitely did when he was a prince earlier in life)

And yet chastity is preached after his enlightenment as well. We can't deny that sex is responsible for a lot of foolish, unenlightened behavior. I wonder if there is a holy or pure way to still have sex and yet gain insight from it.

 

[Rave18]

“What is needed is an understanding, not a suppression. The deeper the understanding, the higher human beings rise. The less the understanding, the more human beings try to suppress. There are never any successful and healthy results out of suppression. Sex is the greatest energy in human life. But one has not to stop at it. Sex has to be transmuted into superconsciousness.”
- Osho

Buddha didn't reach enlightenment until he stopped preaching physical denials.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Great quote, thank you.

 

[Asterisk]

“What is needed is an understanding, not a suppression. The deeper the understanding, the higher human beings rise. The less the understanding, the more human beings try to suppress. There are never any successful and healthy results out of suppression. Sex is the greatest energy in human life. But one has not to stop at it. Sex has to be transmuted into superconsciousness.”
- Osho

Nailed it. Looks like someone is on the road to enlightenment!
It is my belief that the root of all evil is not the love of money,
but the true root of all evil is misunderstanding.
Look back at the worst things you've ever done, (don't tell me what they are,
I don't wanna know) and just tell me why you did them.
If you trace back your thought processes, you may find that you were lacking
a critical piece of understanding.

 

[Sneevox]

I agree with you, mate.

I believe that by balancing both male and female prana through both meditation and life experience, you will reach closer towards what being a Man really is. In balancing your inner self, you become connected with yourself. If you haven't read my thread about patience, yet, I'd suggest it. Not to sound egotistical. I just put a lot of thought into it.

Anyways, I talk about "warrior instincts", which is basically your intuition or "higher mind" telling you what to do. If you integrate both logic and intuition into life, it seems like everything runs smoothly.
I've personally been doing it for awhile, and it's been alright. Of course, I've had my down times, but everybody needs those so that they can learn...
After all, even King Solomon was the wisest of the wise and he felt it was all for none. This is because he had no way to apply his wisdom or share it. He simply was... wise. That's it.

The sheep seek happiness, and the wise man seeks truth and through that finds happiness.

JUST MY LITTLE BIT OF PERSONAL OPINION.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I masturbate often, usually because its a free, immediate euphoria. I haven't noticed many detriments to this, it seems to be a victimless crime.

Does anyone have thoughts on why the Buddha believes sex is an obstacle to enlightenment?

http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm

 

[Sneevox]

http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm

Holy synchronicity, mate. I was literally JUST sent another link on this subject by a friend of mine that has never even been to SoSuave before.
5 minutes later, I clicked this thread to see what the response was, and it was that link.

Here is the other link, if you were interested.
http://meetingwithcharlie.com/2012/01/09/orgasms-yes-i-said-orgasms/

I find this particularly interesting.

Sacred Texts said:

"When brain action has been stimulated, through one or more of the ten mind stimulants, it has the effect of lifting the individual far above the horizon of ordinary thought, and permits him to envision distance, scope, and quality of THOUGHTS not available on the lower plane, such as that occupied while one is engaged in the solution of the problems of business and professional routine."

The other site said:

"What you experience, during that orgasm, is who you are underneath all your thoughts, all your doing, all your plans, all your karma. Pure, unadulterated aliveness without a thought. It is a momentary awakening. A brief moment of dipping your foot back into the ocean from which you came, before you came here to experience being in a body. It is connection with everything. It is the shortest path for people to experience bliss, peace, and reconnection with the truth."

All of this after repeatedly doing things that made no sense because my intuition told me to, and also seeing the number 777 a few times, which apparently represents the universe telling you that you were going to be rewarded for following your heart.


What could all of this mean? Jeez, guess we'll find out in due time.