That is a personal decision, Pen.
I hope no one takes this as a Universal LAW that cannot be broken
See the thing that I dont want to see is a guy trying to desperately hang on and try to cling to this woman.
If shes not making a move to be the guy's Woman, then I believe something isnt ready for an LTR.
I think If a man can come off and Present his stance of "I want an exclusive LTR with you" and she is understadning of him at his depest emotional level, that is, she is in resonance with him and they are at very close emotional levels of growth...then yeah...he can state his feeling.
"Look, I like being with you.I really enjoy your company.It doesnt matter what we do or where we are...I truly enjoy being with you....and no one else right now."
You know, that's not so bad.
But you better make sure you have been the "man" the entire time. And not be seen as seeking approval.
See, even the highest class and quality , most compassionate woman IS STILL A WOMAN
She will still respond at a deep primal level in the same manner as most women will
and that means that a woman reacts sexually to a man who is not seeking her approval or permission, or acceptance. in other words she is not attracted to a submissive man
That's why she cannot be attracted sexually to : "Please, choose me!!"
Thats what Im trying to get across.
A Man will not get what he NEEDS by asking her, if he doesnt KNOW in his heart that SHE places HIM ABOVE ALL other men.
And this is whyasking for exclusivity can be very challenging to pull off if you are not sure how you are coming across to this woman
Men dont always want to hide their feelings of attraction and more importantly and Dangerously, INTEREST, many men only seem to lose ego and confidence, but far more women see falling in love and being sexual, intimate and vulnerable as something very sacred and they feel they have more to lose than men.
So sometimes some women DO hide their felings, and usually take the road of "Lets see how this goes."
Whereas Men are more often like "WOW! I just met my Wife! This is awesome!"
While the woman is staring at him like he's some kind of nut!
And I think for a Man, whom she may love, if he acts beneath her, seeking approval and acceptance, will still kill attraction even in HER.
She is still a woman.
It is deeply rooted. She wont want to REACT 'logically' in that aspect in man/woman sexual relationship.
But to ask?
"will you be my GF?"
"You wanna go steady?"
"Please be mine?"
A woman will still see the subcommunication. You cant hide it in this context.
He has to have been congruent and stick to his values and beleifs the ENTIRE time they are together, no exceptions.
He cannot all of a sudden "turn wussy" and let the "inner wuss" come out.
See, Penny, it appears that some things dont really work out in the REAL world the best way when we approach something kind of primal like this with pure mathetmatical like Logic
I am trying to see if a Man can really BE with a woman on a deep , intimate , passionate and PRIMAL level.
Where they BOTH "KNOW".
At the end of the day it just may be important to understand and recognize that it IS a BIG DEAL for a MAN, with a huge sex drive, and many options to actually ACCEPT being 'tied down' to one woman, so to speak.
And a Man, HAS to understand his real motivation for 'getting a girlfirend". As if having a GF will solve ALL his problems
Often, guys are so starved for female attention that it is NOT the woman he wants , it is just Female Attention and Female Validation...he is too empty and starved to make clear, mature decisions and be in tru control of himself and his desires.
So to him..ANY woman will do.
Any woman that smiles at him is his "future wife" so to speak
This is bad for both of them
No woman wants to be a 'placeholder'.
Not if she truly wants deep intimate , passionate Love
If she states what she wants, she is empowering herself.
If the guy waits for his potential woman to step up to the plate and state that she truly wants HIM and ONLY Him, then he can let himself be alittle more vulnerable and intimatelt connected to her
Sos maybe women dont want to be seen as weaker
They wont be
They wont be seen as nags
They dont have to be
All they may need to do, if so inclined, is STATE their desire for exclusivity with this man. And thats it. Leave it up to him.
This is NOT a power struggle here
this is understanding something higher evloved but based on primal mechanics, which we cannot change and must accept and deal with
Now, were not talking about a marriage proposal here
And even then, there are many people who feel it is perfectly fine for a woman to ask a man for his commitment to marriage
We are looking at this situation from the outside, we havent seen the prospective couple interact
Where you can SEE with your eyes the way the Man acts towards the potential GF
He demonstrates his love and affection for her, and she for him
We also need to think again of womens deep biological wiring about stakes.
IF she knows in her heart that she wants this man, and she is willing to take on the risk of all that entails with it, then BOTH of them come out ahead
And we need to get away from the idea of a Man having to 'prove his worth' and trying to 'win her over'.
This can be a very dangerous place for the majority of couples
It is approval seeking behavior, and it takes us right back where men are trying to escape from
So is there another side to this?
Actually, yes.
A confident man can still get a relationship if he can confidently STATE :
"I Want YOU, and only YOU."
(if you noticed, I also believe a woman can do the same thing..)
( he is stating, he is NOT "ASKING", there is a difference)
It depends on his Frame and Self Control. And he NEEDS to have FAITH in himself in the future to act congruently and accordingly whatever happens
This is not a LAW
IT is a guideline
And it is used to better serve the man who has not been well served by women in the past..........
and better serve a woman by empowering her to really get what she Wants and Needs
