Some opinions needed! Trying to figure out girls behavior

[jamesfromhouston]

Hey gents.

SS has taught me a lot so far, thankful for the community and all the DJs here.

A quick one! Would love some thoughts:

I've hooked up with a very sexy plate, twice.

After the 2nd time we hooked up, it was hard to get her out. A few times I've asked, she straight up told me she was busy with work and never gave another time and date.

She used to bombard with me texts and audio messages and generally teasing and playful messages but that has stopped.

Nowadays she's still actively stalking me on Instagram and watching my insta stories very regularly.

Today I found out that she has actually been hiding her insta stories from me.

I've not really engaged her much but with her stalking it feels like she's still orbiting my life and has some interest level.

I guess I'd like to know from you guys how would you read this situation? The sex is pretty amazing I'd love to set it up again. But her behaviour is confusing.

She's more aloof than before (no signs of having a bf) yet is constantly stalking me.

Also why does a girl block their story from you yet is still friends with you on IG or still stalks you.

Are these signs of her having some IL?

-James

 

[jamesfromhouston]

OP she does not see you as a long term prospect. Stop chasing imediately. After sex all relationship maintenence shifts to her whether she plates herself or tries to lock you down for an LTR. Just stop initiating. Your giving her thirsty vibes. I can tell just by your questions.
Who cares what her stories say?
What have you been doing with your time?

Hey thanks for the response. Actually I've not been chasing her or texting her. I stopped contact after asking her out. Just curious to know how to read the situation, as she's orbiting and stalking yet doing odd things like the blocking. I always thought I should drop her a text or hit her up again sometime if I get a good signal but yeah the behavior is confusing to say the least. Thanks, what you said sounds like the right approach.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

I second what @stringpuller said. I'm curious though, how would you know she blocks you from IG stories? I would imagine you simply wouldn't know/see it.

So today during a catch up with a mutual friend, he brought up her story.

Yeah I should really just not give a sheet like you guys said. Just confuses me more than anything else. Why not just cut me out entirely and why hide stuff from me and yet stalk me. We weren't even dating properly hahaha.

Actually to think of it, this is the 2nd time this year this has happened to me. Another plate did something similar. Seemingly obsessed with me, stalks me, yet occassionally hides stories from me. Don't know how to make sense of this type of behavior.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Ignor all the above. She’s seeing if you are engaging other women in your life. She is trying to determine your value. The sex is last on the list. No matter how good you think it was.

Interesting, could you elaborate?

 

[jamesfromhouston]

If I can. You have to have absolute certainty about one thing and one thing only.

Due to her design, optimum survival, her entire world is about her. Unless you are a new puppy or one of her children. Even then it’s about benefiting her. This is not evil. You have to understand the depth of this fully or in every corner you will always be in mystery and eventually outright fail. Quandary and mull this over in every scenario you you can conger up.

Most men fail at a great deal of things is because they think and don’t observe.
No emotion. Just observe. No evaluation of what you are seeing. Just an observer. Don’t assign any significance to what you are observing. This is a skill learned through drilling and practice. The art of disconnecting what you are seeing to thoughts and assignment to what is significant.

She is obviously evaluating you. What she observes is directly attached to emotion evaluation. This is feminine. This is about her and predetermining an evaluation about you without any real work. I am a HUGE antagonist to social media. For this very reason. Getting to “know” or “learn” about someone through social media is a travesty and unreliable as fuk. Yet women believe fully in it.
women need to be forced, by default, to explore the man she’s interested in. To see his life first hand. This goes back to “demonstrate” value, don’t talk about your value”
Social media is inauthentic.

If other girls are interested in you, you might have some value after all. She is hunting clues. Write her off in your mind and demonstrate that. Just watch what happens. Just observe.

Thanks for this bro.

The part about being more detached and observant is something I need to work on.

As for social media, don't you think with what you said, it equally means you can use it to demonstrate value and game girls?

 

[Barrister]

Either she is pursuing someone she sees as a better prospect than you and her interest in you is subsequently dropping OR she is gauging if you will pursue her harder than you were before. Either way, it means her interest level in you is not sky high. Usually mirroring always works in these situations. If she is cutting down interest in you then you do the same to her. If she suddenly amps up the attention to you then you can respond in kind.

In regards to social media specifically, you are only ever going to get into trouble gauging anything off social media. These things are designed for female validation. In a perfect world, men wouldn't even touch social media, but that is very difficult for a variety of reasons in today's world. I do recommend you simply stop looking at or worrying about anything you see from her social media.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Either she is pursuing someone she sees as a better prospect than you and her interest in you is subsequently dropping OR she is gauging if you will pursue her harder than you were before. Either way, it means her interest level in you is not sky high. Usually mirroring always works in these situations. If she is cutting down interest in you then you do the same to her. If she suddenly amps up the attention to you then you can respond in kind.

In regards to social media specifically, you are only ever going to get into trouble gauging anything off social media. These things are designed for female validation. In a perfect world, men wouldn't even touch social media, but that is very difficult for a variety of reasons in today's world. I do recommend you simply stop looking at or worrying about anything you see from her social media.

Hey Barrister, thanks for this.

What is your personal opinion on how to approach social media as a DJ in today's world? How do you personally utilize it?

 

[TheKid]

No reponse is a response.
If she not talking to you she communicating something...
Dont ever chase, if they want you in their life they will.
The more you ponder and stress the more youll hurt yourself. You dont have to do anything in this situation to get results.
A) she eithers comes back and you proceed
Or
B) she doesnt and you move along
Its a win-win if you dont want to be played.

 

[DonJuanjr]

A man stands alone. He has value and she must measure advantageously.

Do you believe females will respond to this even if the males financial status is lower than hers?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Some of the responses are way way too deep

Could be any number of reasons why ...... my no 1 guess would be there's another guy in the background that's hitting her buttons harder than you were either way it's really not worth wasting time debating

Withdraw contact and go ghost on her …..

Don't delete or block just stop watching her social media stories all together and don't like or interact with anything

 

[BadBoy89]

This girl knows where to find you, and didn’t counter when you asked her out after having sex with her. You have done your job OP..

Anything more on your end will make you look bad.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Hey, thanks gents for all the very good detailed responses.

Although some variety of thoughts here, the common themes throughout are:

1) she most likely has another guy in the picture,

2) I should just ghost and move on. If she comes back, she comes back.

3) don't read too much into social media behaviour.

(Laying the above out for any future DJs wondering the same as me).

With that said, one thing I noticed is that many of you are against the idea of using social media to game because it is "feminine".

Personally this year, I've been using it to showcase the exciting parts of my life. I've had a few dates from those who saw me on social media.

I might be wrong but:

1) doesn't social media allow you to expand your reach to potential girls? I get real approach is best in terms of interaction but when you got a strong online presence, doesn't that create more window of opportunities?

2) doesn't social media allow you to screen the IL of girls too? I notice certain girls who are stalking me, I feel they have high chances of progressing further.

3) since girls are largely on social media, shouldn't we spend some time developing our presence there?

Again I understand physical beats digital but I feel there's so much apprehension here agaisnt social media & game. I am certainly no master yet, but I would love to know whether it is worth it and how to efficiently use it.

What are your thoughts?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Social media is a beast not many guys can slay hence why it gets so much hate

There's a variety of factors as to why social media is so much harder for men than women the primary one being

men need to display value in the forms of success , wealth & power

Women only really need to display value in beauty ......( you can easily see which of the two is simpler )

IF you are a high value male then you should really have no issue in building your platform and theres no doubt you will be having your pick of women on social media .....just like athletes , celebrities , influencers etc etc

It's every girls wet dream to get inboxed by a celebrity

But heres the kicker

For an average guy posting his day to day activity's or even what he deems to be exciting is not really enough and therefore can sometimes actually damage your frame with a girl since they read so so deeply into everything the smallest detail can push a mid interest girl to a no interest girl

On the flip side if your posting luxury holidays , adventures , paths to success , wealth building it can push a no interest girl into a high interest girl

It is a double ended sword

Personally i cannot advocate for or against it ..... you could spend the next 5 years building 50-100K followers on instagram only for something new to come out and it to become uncool .....

 

[TheKid]

Hey, thanks gents for all the very good detailed responses.

Although some variety of thoughts here, the common themes throughout are:

1) she most likely has another guy in the picture,

2) I should just ghost and move on. If she comes back, she comes back.

3) don't read too much into social media behaviour.

(Laying the above out for any future DJs wondering the same as me).

With that said, one thing I noticed is that many of you are against the idea of using social media to game because it is "feminine".

Personally this year, I've been using it to showcase the exciting parts of my life. I've had a few dates from those who saw me on social media.

I might be wrong but:

1) doesn't social media allow you to expand your reach to potential girls? I get real approach is best in terms of interaction but when you got a strong online presence, doesn't that create more window of opportunities?

2) doesn't social media allow you to screen the IL of girls too? I notice certain girls who are stalking me, I feel they have high chances of progressing further.

3) since girls are largely on social media, shouldn't we spend some time developing our presence there?

Again I understand physical beats digital but I feel there's so much apprehension here agaisnt social media & game. I am certainly no master yet, but I would love to know whether it is worth it and how to efficiently use it.

What are your thoughts?

You can do what you want and even if it gets you too talk to more women, you will end up with more dissapointment you wouldnt face if you just lived in the real world. Because you wouldnt be as thirsty or get led on and forgotten as much.

 

[Barrister]

Hey Barrister, thanks for this.

What is your personal opinion on how to approach social media as a DJ in today's world? How do you personally utilize it?

My personal approach is that I don’t use it. I do have a FB account primarily for my business page. I will update my personal page very rarely with a new profile pic from time to time. I never make my own posts or posts on anyone else’s “wall.”

I have found that women typically get more out of the mystery of not knowing what you are up to rather than hearing nonstop about your life off their smartphone. It might be one thing if you were traveling nonstop and able to make a post about it every few days. For us who have very standard jobs though in terms of travel (or lack thereof), posting about what I ordered at the local bar/coffee shop is interesting only for so long. You’re better off with her wondering what you’re up to.

 

[The Diver]

Yeah I should really just not give a sheet like you guys said. Just confuses me more than anything else. Why not just cut me out entirely and why hide stuff from me and yet stalk me. We weren't even dating properly hahaha.

Honestly man, why do anyone give a F what some random girl do or not do?
Invite her to your place to cook dinner together and tell her to bring the wine.
If Yes - good, If No - Next.

 

[manfrombelow]

Buddy, be thankful that you at least got to have sex with her. The fact that she stalked your social medias literally means NOTHING. I repeat, NOTHING, if it is equipped with the fact that she made excuse not to see yo anymore.

So, instead of wasting your energy to try and "figure out her behaviours", just accept that she simply does not want you. So stop thinking about her, and start hitting on other women.

 

[manfrombelow]

I might be wrong but:

1) doesn't social media allow you to expand your reach to potential girls? I get real approach is best in terms of interaction but when you got a strong online presence, doesn't that create more window of opportunities?

=> You're not the only person who has a "strong online presence", everybody does have it on social media, so it means nothing.

2) doesn't social media allow you to screen the IL of girls too? I notice certain girls who are stalking me, I feel they have high chances of progressing further.

=> No. You screen the IL of girls by ASKING HER OUT ON REAL DATES and see how she responds.

3) since girls are largely on social media, shouldn't we spend some time developing our presence there?

=> No. You make a girl like you via REAL DATES, not via social medias. Social Media, as explained numerous time on SS here, is a LOSING GAME for men. Because unless you have a lot of material values (money, fancy car, nice house, 6 abs, big muscles...) to show of there, then you are INVISIBLE.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Hey gents.

Thanks a lot for the very detailed responses.

It's really provided me with a reality snap & woke me up.

If she's interested she will act accordingly.

Yes, indeed, actions speak louder than words.

I should not waste any time or thoughts on analyzing her social media behavior. It might be senseless and social media interaction might not be the best test for these things.

When I joined SS, I told myself from day 1 that I'd like to contribute to our knowledge base here at some point in the future.

Whilst I know most of you here are quite apprehensive about social media, I will seek to do more "experiments" with it. Mainly to see how it can be integrated into overall game and what sort of personal results I can get. May report my own findings on this some point down the line.

I personally use it for work to be honest. Promoting my work. Yet I use active story updates on IG to also showcase exciting parts of my daily life. So far there are some signs of promises but I'll need to see if it converts. Will play with this a bit.

Thanks brothers. Your opinions are highly valued.

 

[IKO69]

From my personal experience, when it gets to the point where they've changed and all of a sudden start playing games, are hard to get hold of, unreliable etc. it's best to just leave them alone. I know, maybe you smashed at one time, maybe she was a good friend and you had something, all that stuff doesn't matter. Something obviously triggered her and your all your appeals, no matter how sincere, fall on deaf ears.

I and many others have been there and have exerted ourselves, put in effort to try to "convince" the person. When it gets to the stage as described most of the time nothing changes (and that is the best case scenario). At worst, it just ends up aggravating her further, and this is usually the case. The best thing to do is just learn from the experience and leave the person alone. Save yourself the time and stress. If there was ever anything there she may reach out at some point, which then gives you some wiggle room and you can possibly maneuver things, but when the situation is they are actively being difficult - leave them alone.