Some basic psychology (Important)

[So pimp its scary]

I just had my last psychology class of the year, and I learned an important principle for the budding DJ.

"Punishment is an ineffective strategy to get people to do (or not do) what you want."

Positive reinforcement is the way to go.... but there is a catch, you can't reinforce yourself EVERY time that you do something that you are happy with. If you do, you will see improvements, but nowhere near as much as other techniques.

Ideally, you would RANDOMLY give yourself something that you enjoy RIGHT AFTER doing something that you would like to do more often. I know this takes some strength to maintain, but according to studies, if you reward a certain behavior randomly then the person (or animal) will quickly learn to do this behavior, and will start going nuts trying to get the reward and will repeat the behavior untill the reward is achieved.

How can this be made practical? That could be a subject of LONG discussion, but here is what I would propose :

- Find something that will be your reward; it could be going to see a movie, buying yourself something, I dunno whatever motivates you.
- Decide HOW MANY woman you have to approach, or HOW MANY times you have to do your wanted behavior before you can give yourself a reward.
- Refrain from giving yourself the reward untill you accomplished your task.
- Repeat with another random number.

This can really be used for anything... Our teacher used the example : "If I wanted you guys to study every day, I would say that there are RANDOM tests throughout the year. You could have a test the day after a test, or it could be a month after, or the last day of the semester. If I did this, you would study EVERY day because you would never know when the next test would be, and you'd want to be prepared."

A final thought about punishment : If you insist on using the punishment principle, here are some guidelines

a) Try to avoid punishment, rather, try and ignore negative behavior, and reward good behavior.

b) If punishment is necessary, make sure that you understand the reason for punishment.

c) Make sure that the punishment is meant to repair the damage cause by the behavior to be punished.

Because Punishment is meant to get you to NOT do something, rather then teach you to DO something.

I would like to add more, but I have no time... Discuss.

 

[Into_Action]

How about flipping a coin to decide whether you got your reward? is 50/50 a desirable ratio?

 

[iqqi]

this post is aimed more at your self, but i want to point out that this would also apply to your "target", and your relationships. alot of tactics on this site are "punishment" tactics. don't think that is very mature or TRULY effective.

 

[Player_Supreme]

got double posted while I was making a change..read below

 

[Player_Supreme]

This was posted by an English Pimpin dude named Paradise on another site which supports what your saying:

Thanks Zenmack. We don't differ too much actually in a general way.


Just to add my take to the subect for the rest of the forum I have the following advice on Rewarding Behaviour:


Remember I called it Rewarding Behaviour, not Punishing bad Behaviour, because the emphasis is on what's done right. You want to allow her to make you become an overwhelming source of happiness to her by her acting right. Don't get caught up in negative behaviour with her, make any checking breif, about ONE issue and immedeate. Resolve it. Then move on. Don't keep bringing it up. If she fu cks up again, check that new fu ck up like airport baggage. If you become a source or regualr repetetive negativity it wastes your time and takes away a unique edge you have over any other relationship she's ever had or likley to have...


Never punish a learner. If she doesn't know the Contract, bite your tongue and check yourself and COMMUNICATE with her. A lot of people check and Fire in the wrong circumstance. They expect things, like she's a mind-reader. They really need to check their own Packaging.


If she KNOWS damn well, then you can give her no reciprocation, leave her for a minute on time out! But don't do it malicously, just direct your attention away from her casually. Intimacy gets withdrawn ect ect. It could escalate rapidly to Firing if she wants. But that's pretty rare if you handle business properly from day one.


Reward APPROXIMATELY correct things! Don't punish well-meant mistakes. Remember the Goddess in Trick Baby, how she checked him on the low-level hotel he had got. But she still Rewarded him for moving in the right direction, he had paid for the room and gone to some effort for her. So she encouraged him to go upscale the next time. Rome wasn't built in a day.


Before you try to improve that Behaviour (change the level of effort needed for example in what she does for you or how much she spends), put the current Rewarded level on variable, roulette wheel style, and only Reward strongly and consistently the higher level you want.


The sooner you Reward the better, two ways: either during or immedeatley after the Behaviour. A Reward is ANYTHING YOU CAN DREAM UP that will increase the likleyhood of that behaviour being repeated. Remember what you may think is a Reward she might not think of as a Reward. Think from her perspective.
Generally always use the minimum Reward possible.


Iceberg said the Pimp game to him was kick, kiss, kick, kiss, kick kiss. Mine's wait, kiss, wait, kiss, wait, kiss. If they don't act approximatley right nothing happens, patience is my best friend. The beautiful thing is they will always do something to warrant a Reward, and then that increases the likleyhood of them doing it again and improving on it.


p a r a d i s e www.infinitedreamspublishing.co.uk

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by iqqi
this post is aimed more at your self, but i want to point out that this would also apply to your "target", and your relationships. alot of tactics on this site are "punishment" tactics. don't think that is very mature or TRULY effective.

Your way of course here babygirl. There is a whole world based on pain and reward out there.

www.steel-door.com is one place to look

 

[Oxide]

I use this with homework quite a bit.

I say to myself "I am going to read 50 pages, then i will play on PC"

I am going to do calc, then watch the movie.



BUt then you are sitting there reading and the only thing u are thinking of is how fun CS is

 

[Ice Cold]

Cool thread. One of the few that worth something...

I had a buddy who almost complained about his life, but he was a good guy. This complaining annoyed me.

So I decided to just ignore him when he complains and "reward" him with a conversation when he talks about something positive.

After about a week he didn't complain anymore. Not to me at least.

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Reinforcement increases the likelyhook of a behavior where as punishment decreases the likelyhood of a behavior so it kind of depends on the situation. However, the psych classes always teach using positive reinforcement when dealing with children.

 

[DEKKA]

it works with other people but you cant do a reward system on yourself. the idea is flawed if at anytime you could give yourself the reward.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Ya, Dekka, your right, I know that the idea is flawed in some ways...that's why I was having difficulty trying to figure out the practical application of what I was talking about...

It's very easy to set something up where you reward your good behavior every time... but that is less effective.

I think I stated in the first post that it would take a level of self-controlt to pull it off correctly...

But, you could easily say : For every 3 girls that I approach I give myself a cookie (if you really like cookies), then you'll start approaching girls, at least 3 at a time, because DAMMIT you like those cookies. Just as long as you don't cheat yourself.