Some Advice Please

Big Nozzle

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This is my first post with this website, so I feel obligated to qualify myself with a little background information. I somehow ended up on the DYD website, and reading David D's emails as they came into my inbox, and then one day I ended up here signing up for the DJ Tip of the Day. I checked out the forums once, but the sheer enormocity (That a real word? If not, I want credit) of it all proved to be quite the deterrant. Tonight, for whatever reason, I came back.

I have spent the better part of a day reading through the 9,000,000 threads on this website, in hopes that I would find an answer to my specific question, but I have not yet found such a solution. I am not doubting that this has been asked before, just doubting my ability to find a thread relating to it. Anyway, off to the races we go.

My career path has lead me obviously towards a sales job since the day that I first realized that I had persuasive power over other people. This all changed last year when I decided to try my hand at the bar business to try and increas my 'ups' (retail sales term for potential sales opportunities) with girls. Up until then, I had dealt mainly with established married couples, with maybe a girl my age that was fairly attractive coming into the store once or twice a week, usually with a boyfriend or new husband. I found that just being one of the employees at a bar instantly upped my social status, and immediately increased my value to women. (Girls LOVE to get drunk, don't they??)

I have since stopped working at this bar, but one of the girls that had been chasing me keeps lingering in my mind. She has given me her number 3 or 4 times, and I never called her. This isn't because of a lack of interest (she is definitely do-able in my book...Not relationship material, but do-able), but because she has a boyfriend. Under normal circumstances, I would have left her alone altogether, but she has made it perfectly clear that he does not factor into our equation. She and I have played games of titty-twisters, and on one occasion I sat with her after work, got drunk, and had her on my lap making out with me.

This all sounds really great, and you are asking why I haven't had her over to my place for a little more fun, right? Well, she lives with her boyfriend, and even though she is completely unhappy in her relationship and pursuing me, I feel like I would be doing something immoral if I were to take her out, and consequently have sex with her (I am about 99% sure I could at this point). I guess that is the long story, but the short question is... Should I? Should I ignore the fact that she is in a relationship because she is ignoring that fact, or should I not pursue anything with her because Karma is a biotch?

Thank you all for your insight, it is very helpful.
 

joekerr31

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dude, either you live life with higher principles or you don't.

don't ask us to decide for you.

J
 

mrRuckus

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If a girl is this open about her cheating then he probably already knows and chooses to ignore it.

or he's really dumb.

so do whatever you want.

Part of me says don't be a d1ck and screw over your fellow man and the other part says do what you want... it's not your job to police her morals. It's not your fault he can't keep his woman and if not with you she'll be screwin around with someone else anyway and he loses either way so you might as well be the dude gettin some... unless of course he's insane and is going to break a coke bottle over your head.

As long as you aren't dumb enough to get into a relationship with her...

i'd probably hook up with her.
 

Big Nozzle

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Word...I want nothing to do relationshipwise with a chick that would go out to a bar and be hanging off some dude that she just met an hour before, and 4 drinks ago....Not so concerned about the guy with the coke bottle, but the way she has come after me makes me wonder if SHE will want a relationship..She has been really aggressive ie: going for the kiss many times before I let her, and whatnot...Another factor is whether or not I want her to know where I live...(I'm pretty sure I don't want to end up at her house after a night of drinking when her bf gets home...Regardless of if I can kick his butt or not.)
 

Desdinova

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It's good you're thinking this through before taking action.

When a chick is living with her borefriend, things get a lot more complicated. Things will have to revolve around her schedule. She'll have to call you, she'll have to make date arrangements, and she may have to cancel at the last minute due to her borefriend's schedule.

On top of all that, if her borefriend gets suspicious and starts snooping through her 5hit, he may be able to track you down and damage either you or your property.

The only advice I can offer you is if you don't want to risk any of this, put her on the backburner, but continue to tease her and such. Whenever she wants to go further, give her playful reminders that she has a common-law husband. She'll eventually see that her borefriend is being a barrier. If you continue to tease her and be playful (something her borefriend obviously doesn't do), she'll eventually get rid of him.

However, if you're a risk taker, go as far as you want.
 
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