I had social anxiety to the point I avoided making phone calls. I'd speak with a couple of close friends and my co-workers, I'd mostly stay quiet if anyone else was present.
I realized just how ridiculous it was to be incapable of casual conversation, I rationally understood there was zero danger in it but my emotions begged to differ. Fortunately my intellectual side won the battle and decided to give a big "fvck you" to the irrationality of my emotions. It did with confidence coming from "bad feelings won't really harm me". I went straight from "I'm afraid to answer the phone" to "let's find a date although I have absolutely no clue what to do". Every part of my body screamed at me telling me not to do it, but I did not obey my irrational fears any longer.
Point is that if you seek to calm your feelings before you proceed, you are in for a very long time waste. You need to wrestle that beast, prove it wrong by doing what you don't feel like doing and show it no harm will come. Even though you feel like you're dying inside and being extremely cringey, push through and show your fear that even if you performed very poorly under the pressure, no harm came of it
I didn't immediately win over my anxiety, but it took less time than you'd expect with intensive self-inflicted exposure to social situations. Once I passed a challenge I didn't celebrate too early, I thought about how I could one-up myself and be even bolder.
The first challenge was starting a conversation on OLD (yes my anxiety was that bad). Sent a few messages, had no clue how to open so went with basic "hey, what's up".
Got a response, next challenge, ask for date. Worked out, next challenge, show up unprepared to ensure conversation is improvised. Had a conversation without stagnating, was very superficial though but better than awkward silence, obviously didn't score date #2.
Next woman, next challenge, get some kino even if it's forced and cringey as fvck. I had loosened up my talking with that one shock therapy date, but I still felt strong resistance to touching. Had a girl over at my place, it took way too long but I eventually got my hands on her and I really felt the anxiety hitting me hard. I did not expect sex, all I cared about was kino and the sex could come in the next challenge. By some miracle she really really wanted to fvck despite my extremely awkward behavior, so I never had to challenge myself to get there, cringey kino was enough.
So nailed that, but there's one more challenge, confrontation upon finding out something is wrong and pulling out. Confrontation is the ultimate fear in social anxiety. That girl I fvcked lied to me and I wasn't having it, even though it's the first pvssy I had for over 5 years. Told her up front about my observations, got more lies, gave her the boot and went ghost. She damn near fried my phone, but I wasn't having it, my days of being a leaf blowing whichever way the wind blows was over.
Total time span from start to end of challenge in which my anxiety got obliterated? 4 weeks, no joke. Literally 3 days after ditching that lying b!tch I went to a party of complete strangers, except the friend who invited me. Even though I knew nobody else there I felt a glow inside me and for once complete tranquility, not even a hint of anxiety. That's how confidence feels like I figured. Shortly after I got there 4 girls arrived, I eyed them for a bit and thought "I'll get the pretty blonde later tonight" before returning to the conversation with the guys. A couple hours later the pretty blonde had landed next to me in the couch, small talk ensued but I kept it short in order to maintain frame. My laid back attitude worked. She started making out with her female friend, I interrupted the pretty blonde asking if she wouldn't prefer a man instead, I barely finished the sentence before she was all over me.
While it was cool, this night had a massive impact on the way I do game. I went from extremely socially anxious dude with zero experience to scoring the exact girl I targeted, in less than a month. I was prepared to keep awkwardly failing and feel humiliation as a complete idiot for over a year without getting any sex, I was prepared for that for the sake of learning. But what happens? 2 weeks in I'm fvcking some chick for the first time in a 5 year celibacy. 4 weeks in I'm on girl #3 that I pre-selected and scored feeling confident as if I didn't know what anxiety was.
What the fvck happened? I pushed the comfort zone way way harder than I thought I did and exceeded all competition on the one thing that's most sexy, having the balls. So can you! Push towards doing exactly what your anxiety wants you to avoid, fvck the comfort zone. Have the balls!
