Solo pretty boy ?

[backbreaker]

You guys are right. It is what it is. I can't keep calling her and talking to her and stuff. I need to continue with my life and I refuse to talk to her until she is ready to move on and forget about the situation. Point blank period.

I work 50+ hours a week anyway. Just going to focus on stacking my paper (BTW in 2 and a half months I've made 13,000 with this dealership). I need to focus more on work and take it seriously so I can move up to a manager.

i've screamed it from the top of my lungs so many times.. you just at a dead end job and you want to make some real money, go sale cars. sterotypes aside, you can make some jack.

 

[Big Nuts]

you are engaged at 22 ... thats your problem

^^This.

...1400+ posts....what have you learned.

 

[Big Nuts]

AJ man you're fvckin nuts. You been on this site longer than a lot of posters, myself included, and you make worse mistakes than 99% of new members. How can you get engaged to someone after 8 months of dating at the age of 22 and consider yourself a dj. You're either mad trollin or just afc.

1.). The only thing you did wrong was apologize for the way you acted. Otherwise, you did fine. No girl gets a free pass at punching, kicking, and throwing sh1t at you. That's a physical threat on your life; pinning her down and showing her who is in charge isn't something to apologize for. Hell, you probably turned her on.

2.). Flirting with other women while in a relationship isn't cheating. And even if you were cheating, every veteran knows that cheating will not diminish a woman's attraction. More often than not, it enhances it.

3.) you're 22 GD years old. You should be out with your boys, earning fat stacks and pullin bitties. No chick is worth drama and trouble. Unfortunately for you, being a very young man (or fairly old boy), drama seems to be something you crave.

Echoing many other posters here: my advice is to move on from this girl. You physically dominated this woman then profusely apologized for being a man with principles. You've moved into beta territory. Moreover you've apologized for something that society deems immensely punishable. She holds all the cards. You lose.

^^This too.

 

[Voice]

What was the point of texting/flirting with some girl you met while on vacation if you knew you couldn't hook up with her? If I found out my girlfriend went on vacation and started texting and flirting with some new dude she met and then lied to me about it I would go ape **** too.

Why do some guys feel the need to stroke their egos with the attention of other broads when they are already in an established relationship? Do you just need extra validation to make yourself feel better?

 

[Voice]

This is the epitome of afc. You assume men flirt for the same reasons women do. You're wrong, of course. As men it is our natural instinct to spread our seed. We don't flirt for validation or any variation. We flirt because our loins elongate when we see a sexii woman. Whether or not he will admit it, AJ flirted because his d1ck told him to fvck that Spanish chick. It's healthy.

Women are different. THEY seek validation. THEIR egos crave attention. The main difference is that women will flirt for sport. Men flirt out if a basic instinct to procreate.

If you go ape **** as you put it or throw a hissy fit about your girl flirting with other people, you're mad insecure. If it turns out she cheated, fvck it move on. The moment you need to force a woman to be your perfect mate is the moment you lose. Ideally she is satisfied with you as a man, so you don't need to worry bout sh1t.

Fortunately for AJ he also has a tool called logic. If he used it correctly, he would know that giving a girl his number and flirting with her in front of his gf was fvcking stupid. You can go around thinking with your d1ck if you want when you are single, unfortunatley when you're in a relationship or AJ's case, ENGAGED, you don't do something illogical like this unless you want to pay for it i.e lose your fiance. I would agree if you said our instinct is to fvck as many girls as we can. But God also gave us the ability to think. I would think as logical males we have the ability to think things out and not be fvckin stupid.

I don't know anyone else with a girlfriend who goes around getting other girls numbers just to flirt with them unless they are about to break up or not satisfied. And if this is the case, then get out of your relationship. I don't expect my gf to do it, so why would I do it to her?

Edit:

BTW Getting angry because you find out your GF is flirting with other guys behind your back and lying to you about it isn't a sign of insecurity. It's a sign of being a realist. Girls are entirely emotional and when you got some other guy flirting with her and her emotions are high, girls can act on their emotions. If you don't realize that than you are ignorant. That's besides the fact that it is blatant disrespect.

 

[cordoncordon]

This is the epitome of afc. You assume men flirt for the same reasons women do. You're wrong, of course. As men it is our natural instinct to spread our seed. We don't flirt for validation or any variation. We flirt because our loins elongate when we see a sexii woman. Whether or not he will admit it, AJ flirted because his d1ck told him to fvck that Spanish chick. It's healthy.

Women are different. THEY seek validation. THEIR egos crave attention. The main difference is that women will flirt for sport. Men flirt out if a basic instinct to procreate.

If you go ape **** as you put it or throw a hissy fit about your girl flirting with other people, you're mad insecure. If it turns out she cheated, fvck it move on. The moment you need to force a woman to be your perfect mate is the moment you lose. Ideally she is satisfied with you as a man, so you don't need to worry bout sh1t.

While I agree with you on some of your points, the fact that you are overlooking, or choosing to just ignore, is that OP was engaged. Now, should he be engaged at the age of 22? Not in my opinion, but that doesn't matter here because he was/is. You can't just go around flirting with and getting numbers from other girls if you are engaged to be married. Otherwise what is the point of getting married? You make a commitment when you promise marriage to another, and as a man with honor you should live up to that. If you can't, don't get engaged.

 

[Voice]

There's just too much for me to criticize here. What I will say though is this: if a woman flirts, and heaven forbid cheats, you've got more issues than insecurity. Women don't cheat on djs. It doesn't happen. Seriously. It DOES NOT. They may flirt, push some limits, etc, but they don't dare cheat. That's not a test, that's disrespect. If they made the mistake and cheated, you bet your penny loafers that chick is out the door. No time to waste. My chicks don't cheat. Maybe that's the difference between you and I: I'm in control and you're not. If so, I can understand where you're coming from.

Lol.

If you think for a second that chicks won't cheat on you even if you think you are the epitome of a Don Juan than you are terribly wrong and you don't know girls very well. Personally, I never had a girl cheat on me mostly because I intelligently stayed single for a majority of my life but also because I'm aware of the nature of the girls I date. You on the other hand are either:

A. so full of yourself that you are ignorant of reality or
B. pretty inexperienced and read way too much internet DJ stuff

 

[zinc4]

So AAA you didn't think I should have apologized?

Right now I'm looking stupid as anything. I moved back to this country town to be with her because she was doing school. She had planned on transferring in August to Georgia State and me and her were going to get an apartment together. Now she is talking about going back to this country school in August.

and I'm still wanting to move in Atlanta in the next three months. I'm looking so dumb right now. I have a job in this country town and everything. I don't know if I want to get this apartment in Atlanta without her or just live out here and when she comes back in August hope everything works out.

and don't worry. No matter what I refuse to react to her craziness anymore. Even though provoked, touching her was not the right thing to do.

I know you didn't ask...but here is my advice to you...since you are only 22 years-old...save up your money..move to Atlanta or even somewhere in Florida like Miami or if you have to somewhere smaller and cheaper like Panama City or hell Charelotte SC...anywhere it's good to be single... and get a job there and just enjoy being single and young......and drop this girl...just drop her...you are only 22 yet you are rushing to get so serious..man you know how many beautiful women there are out there just as good or better than your current girl...when you get older you will regret not living it up in your prime.

Trust me..i got married pretty early and then divorced 3 years later because i wasn't ready....and guess what that was 4 completely wasted years of my 20s...my prime...gone for absolutely nothing.....i am still trying to make those years up to this day and sow my wild oats if you will....but let's face it...there is something special about partying and being single in your young 20s compared to your 30s...it's just more new and fresh at that point....make the most of it man....drop this girl out of your life completely and go live it up.

 

[buzzin_frog]

Ok dude....you need to step up an accept some responsibility here!!

You caused this problem for yourself with your own actions.....so you should blame yourself and not your fiance!!

It was YOU who met another chick....got her number....then started texting her. Why would you even do that when you were about to get married? Why would you even attempt to get married at 22?

You also thought about banging the spanish chick....until you got cold feet because you felt guilty.

You lied to your fiance by telling her you "didn't know who it was"....C'mon man..do you actually think she would believe you when she sees some strange chick texting you? Do you actually think she would believe that? That is why she got upset with you.

Then you tried to hide the evidence which made her more determined to see who it was.

Of course she was going to get angry....but she took it too far with her actions

You should've walked away when she started acting crazy.....but you stayed to have juice thrown in your face....and to get punched in the face.

Then you got angry as well....then you were fighting her and choking her....that was wrong to do...you should never do that!! What if you hurt her really badly? You're lucky that she didn't press charges against you.....You're lucky that you didn't go to jail. Women's Rights groups are all over that these days.

So you lost your fiance and the spanish chick....all because of your lies...you got caught anyway!!

Maybe you should've banged the spanish chick....at least you would've got something for your troubles....but instead you got nothing!!

There is nothing here that you have done that displays DJ behavior!!

Your first mistake was to move back for this chick.....and to do everything you did for her...why is that? Because they don't appreciate it!! You can do anything for these chicks....then one bad incident and they don't care what you did for them!! You were trying to accommodate her...you should never do that!! Always put yourself first!!

Your second mistake was getting engaged at 22....that is crazy!!

Your third mistake was betraying your fiance and lying to her!!

Your fourth mistake was choking her out!!

Your fifth mistake is still apologizing to her....it doesn't matter what you say....it won't help....you did what you did...so accept that!!

Your sixth mistake is not accepting responsibility for your actions!!

Get some anger management help to control your emotions!!

don't ever do way more in a relationship....because women won't appreciate it...they will always expect you to do more!!

Never choke a woman!!! Never attempt to cheat or chat with other women behind your finace's back... because you will get caught soone or later...just like you did!!

 

[cordoncordon]

Ok dude....you need to step up an accept some responsibility here!!

You caused this problem for yourself with your own actions.....so you should blame yourself and not your fiance!!

It was YOU who met another chick....got her number....then started texting her. Why would you even do that when you were about to get married? Why would you even attempt to get married at 22?

You also thought about banging the spanish chick....until you got cold feet because you felt guilty.

You lied to your fiance by telling her you "didn't know who it was"....C'mon man..do you actually think she would believe you when she sees some strange chick texting you? Do you actually think she would believe that? That is why she got upset with you.

Then you tried to hide the evidence which made her more determined to see who it was.

Of course she was going to get angry....but she took it too far with her actions

You should've walked away when she started acting crazy.....but you stayed to have juice thrown in your face....and to get punched in the face.

Then you got angry as well....then you were fighting her and choking her....that was wrong to do...you should never do that!! What if you hurt her really badly? You're lucky that she didn't press charges against you.....You're lucky that you didn't go to jail. Women's Rights groups are all over that these days.

So you lost your fiance and the spanish chick....all because of your lies...you got caught anyway!!

Maybe you should've banged the spanish chick....at least you would've got something for your troubles....but instead you got nothing!!

There is nothing here that you have done that displays DJ behavior!!

Your first mistake was to move back for this chick.....and to do everything you did for her...why is that? Because they don't appreciate it!! You can do anything for these chicks....then one bad incident and they don't care what you did for them!! You were trying to accommodate her...you should never do that!! Always put yourself first!!

Your second mistake was getting engaged at 22....that is crazy!!

Your third mistake was betraying your fiance and lying to her!!

Your fourth mistake was choking her out!!

Your fifth mistake is still apologizing to her....it doesn't matter what you say....it won't help....you did what you did...so accept that!!

Your sixth mistake is not accepting responsibility for your actions!!

Get some anger management help to control your emotions!!

don't ever do way more in a relationship....because women won't appreciate it...they will always expect you to do more!!

Never choke a woman!!! Never attempt to cheat or chat with other women behind your finace's back... because you will get caught soone or later...just like you did!!

And that my friends is all that needs to be said.

 

[zinc4]

While I agree with you on some of your points, the fact that you are overlooking, or choosing to just ignore, is that OP was engaged. Now, should he be engaged at the age of 22? Not in my opinion, but that doesn't matter here because he was/is. You can't just go around flirting with and getting numbers from other girls if you are engaged to be married. Otherwise what is the point of getting married? You make a commitment when you promise marriage to another, and as a man with honor you should live up to that. If you can't, don't get engaged.

Stop being such a big ***** cordon.....he was only engaged....it's not that big of a deal talking to someone else if nothing physical is going else..you WK b%tch

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I'm not asking if it was wrong. I admit it was wrong on that part. I told her yesterday I'm done talking about the situation. If she wants to talk about it and get miserable she can do that by herself and that needs to take time to get over the situation and talk to me when shes over it and ready to move on.

Time heals everything but it just seems like I can't get over it. It's horrible. Waking up and getting out of bed is a struggle every night.

 

[cordoncordon]

Stop being such a big ***** cordon.....he was only engaged....it's not that big of a deal talking to someone else if nothing physical is going else..you WK b%tch

ONLY engaged. Ok, go use that excuse next time you are engaged to one of your lady boy boyfriends and you start getting phone numbers of other lady boys down at the gay bars you like to frequent under cover of night in the seedier part of Taipei.

You're a stalker.


&


You like lady boys.


Now.....go get your shinebox.

 

[Purefilth]

ONLY engaged. Ok, go use that excuse next time you are engaged to one of your lady boy boyfriends and you start getting phone numbers of other lady boys down at the gay bars you like to frequent under cover of night in the seedier part of Taipei.

You're a stalker.


&


You like lady boys.


Now.....go get your shinebox.

Whats this sh!t here? Racist W/K AND Homophobia all in one post?!?!?!!

 

[AAAgent]

Having said that. Do not think for one second you are abusive. She assaulted you and you stopped her. That is not abuse, that is defense. Yet, also, wtf were you thinking in texting other women? Gaming them is fine just to stay sharp.....but you took it a bit too far.

It might not be abuse but he was wrong in hitting her. As someone who has gotten in many fights from childhood to adult, letting your anger get the best of you, whether it's provoked by an outside source or not shows you have a lack of control over yourself. That's a redflag as individuals trying to become better people. If you are forced into fighting back, know that it should only be in self defense in threatening situations. I doubt he was in any life threatening situation. My last ex used to try and punch, kick, and push me all the time when he BPD side turned on. I just dodged, blocked, parried, laughed and even took many hits on occasion. I was barely bruised and she often times hurt herself and said it was my fault. Lastly, you never want to retaliate physically as you can have your whole life ruined for domestic violence/assault.

I was involved in a aggravated assault case where i was being charged for defending my friend who was choked up against a wall by some drunk guy. I was locked up awaiting trial and spent over 8k on a lawyer to prove myself not guilty. I was found not guilty but it costs me over 8k. Even violence as a last resort has it's penalties so i'd suggest just walk away until the situation dissolves itself or the people calm down and become rational.

 

[cordoncordon]

From a morality standpoint, I flat out disagree that he was wrong for retaliating or defending.

Society is a better place when it is generally accepted that biting someone will land you an @ss-whipping, regardless of race, gender, or predisposition.


Having said that, you are absolutely correct that one needs to be aware of the consequences of these actions. Thankfully society is turning a corner in some aspects.

Anyone recall this video where two women assaulted a man at McDonald's and then went over the counter to chase after him? Thankfully he was found to be the victim, despite the lashing by the media and white-knights.

In summary, nobody has the right to assault anyone, but if you are in the process of being assaulted, you have every right to fight back regardless of the shaming that will be turned towards you. But absolutely be prepared to fight the secondary battle against a society that coddles the assaulters and blames the victims, especially if that assaulter is female.

The domestic violence laws in the United States, and specifically some states like in CA after the OJ mess, have made it so that if you so much as even threaten to harm a women IN ANY WAY, she can call 911 and have you arrested. The police 'say' that this is to diffuse a situation from getting worse, and that may be a small part of it, but in the end it doesn't really matter. What does matter is OP would have been in jail if she had called the police, with a charge ranging from DV to attempted murder if she had really wanted to screw him (from the choking). I'm sure she has marks on her from that. The view of the police these days is so slanted to protecting women that men don't stand a chance.

I am urging all of the men here that if they ever find themselves in a possible domestic violence situation. Just get the hell out of there. Do not fight back. Women can be very very vengeful and emotional and are liable to say anything in the heat of the moment. And if she says you attacked her? You are dead as far as the police are concerned. It is not worth the hours of court time, stress, lawyer and court fees, and anger management classes (that also cost money) just so you can say "I stuck up for myself".

 

[AAAgent]

From a morality standpoint, I flat out disagree that he was wrong for retaliating or defending.

Society is a better place when it is generally accepted that biting someone will land you an @ss-whipping, regardless of race, gender, or predisposition.


Having said that, you are completely correct that one needs to be aware of the consequences of these actions. Thankfully society is turning a corner in some aspects.

Anyone recall this video where two women assaulted a man at McDonald's and then went over the counter to chase after him? Thankfully he was found to be the victim, despite the lashing by the media and white-knights.

In summary, nobody has the right to assault anyone, but if you are in the process of being assaulted, you have every right to fight back regardless of the shaming that will be turned towards you. But absolutely be prepared to fight the secondary battle against a society that coddles the assaulters and blames the victims, especially if that assaulter is female.

You flat out disagree with many posters and have little proof with many of your arguments. Alot of your posts are just meant to draw out an argument where you tire people out in pointless debates and with lack of attention to detail. That along with your grandeur illusions of always being right, make most of your posts lack morality and logic.

Although everyone has the right to defend themselves, you can only use the necessary (reasonable) amount of force to retaliate/defend yourself.

Also, why would you ever risk retaliation when nothing good comes from it? If you have the ability to walk away, you should. Since he retaliated, his fiance got hurt, his lost his frame, got angry, and complicated his engagement and future with his fiance. Not to mention if he has a bad break-up now and doesn't end on good terms, she could report him for domestic violence and at this point, he has little proof that could prove she went ape sh1t on him and it was self defense. And even if he could prove he was defending himself, would the jury even believe beyond a reasonable doubt, that he needed to choke his fiance in order to protect himself? Highly doubtful. On top of that, you'd probably be forced to hire a lawyer (no one likes to rely on a public defender) and spend alot of money. Lose, lose, lose scenario right there.

Walking away or doing nothing by letting the situation diffuse would have been the best choice. Not only does he maintain his frame of being the person in control of the relationship, he get's to see in clear view the craziness of the girl. He does nothing to threaten or jeapordize himself while the other person is laying the foundation for ammunition to be used against them. If this weren't the case, there wouldn't be strategies that employ tactics to anger the enemy so they make a fools of themselves that are still being used today.

Just because you have the right to do something, doesn't mean you should do it and it also doesn't mean it's the only way.

 

[cordoncordon]

Perhaps you missed the point where I said “from a morality standpoint”…..also known as “values”. That would mean no proof is required, it just means we have different values. Get an education son, it will help you be less confused in these discussions.

Let me repost what I said, that you missed. Maybe you won’t miss it this time.






Did you get it that time?





Are you suggesting that his actions should be tempered by the future status of his engagement to this woman?

Seriously?

So you have been on this site for 4.5 years and would still consider staying with this woman after her assaulting you?






I agree, that is why I said be aware of the second battle you would have to fight against society and to only do so if he is ready to fight that second battle. Did you miss the entire 2/3 of my post discussing that? Do you disagree? Or are YOU just being combative and trying to draw out a fight? You can state your morality but I can’t state mine?

If you are not interested in fighting that battle against society then it’s no big deal, I don’t hold it against you. Standing up to society is hard.

Being brave isn’t for everybody.

While obviously Danger you and I have had our share of disagreements on this forum, here we do agree.

Men are fighting a steeply uphill battle when it comes to DV issues. There is almost nothing we can do to protect ourselves in cases involving a women attacking us. Even if we stood there and took it, if the women then called the police and she said we had even poked a finger into her chest, we are going to jail.

I have done a lot of research into this and had a personal experience as well which I wrote about on this forum before. A legit BPD girl that I dated attacked me when I broke up with her at her home. Hit me, scratched me, kicked me. Finally I had enough and got on top of her, held her down by the wrists, and talked to her until she calmed down. Then I left. Half an hour later I got a call from the police saying I had better come see them. I get there and she said I attacked her. She even had scratch marks on her body (that she put there herself to implicate me). Let alone I don't have nails on me long enough to do that. Let alone she had tried to kill herself before and a couple of times purposely cut herself to make it look as if she had been attacked by someone, just to get my attention. Let alone I had marks all over me. I was put in jail for the weekend, she was left at home. I was fuming obviously at the injustice of it all.

The bottom line is that episode cost me about $5000 in court and lawyer fees, 6 months of anger management classes, and a ton of headaches. She after a few days recanted everything, and everything was eventually dropped, but it was still the stress of it all. And the cost. The funny thing was in the anger management class I was in, in downtown Flint MI, which is one of the worst cities there is as far as crime. I was in a class with some legit criminals. And the teacher there had heard it all as far as excuses why these guys had beat on their gf's or wives and when she first heard my story probably didnt believe a word of it. But by the end she was 100% believing me, was on my side, and even offered to get me out of the classes early because she knew I didnt belong there.

See, I am often accused of being a WK on this forum by some. Nothing could be further from the truth. If ANYONE should be pissed off at women, its me after all of that. But I know that not all women are alike and you should try and treat everyone with respect as long as they respect you back. So anyone who says I am a WK, like a couple here do, because I say you should run away from a violent DV situation? They really don't know what they are talking about. Lets say you fight back. Then what? You get put in jail for DV at best, and at worst assault or attempted murder. You spend a year trying to get out of it and paying endless amounts of cash. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. It is not worth it just to say you were a man and had to defend yourself. When a system is so slanted against you, you are much better off retreating, regrouping, and living to fight another day when things are more fairly balanced. Because the way things are set up right now? Men have no shot of ever getting a fair shake in DV issues. And remember, hell has no fury like a woman's scorn. IF they can fawk you while they are in that pissed off mode? They will. Always remember that.

 

[Voice]

I agree mostly with the mistakes you say he made. I bolded, however, things that I think aren't mistakes. Mistake is probably the wrong word anyhow, but I'll stick with it. The thing that you, cordon, and voice are forgetting is that you are not a husband first. You are a man.

There is simply nothing wrong with flirting with other women..engaged, married, single, I don't care what stage of life you're in. It's necessary to stay sharp in the game. You can't do that when you only speak to one woman and oogle over her day and night. Competition anxiety is something that drives the hamster wild and INCREASES ATTRACTION. If you really want to get your girlfriend hot, flirt with other women IN FRONT OF HER.

I'm not saying you have to cheat if you don't want to. If you want to stay faithful, great. But saying you can't flirt and text with other women just because you're about to get married is ridiculous. Don't throw away DJ knowledge just because your eyes are clouded with the sight of "love."



Find your own adjectives and nouns. Stop using mine.

Anyway, not getting cheated on because you "intelligently stayed single for a majority of your life" is like an athlete saying I never got hurt in a game because I wasn't good enough to deem playing time. Congratulations on a couple other things: having good credit because daddy pays your bills...and not being a virgin because a girl felt sorry for you. See how stupid your logic sounds?

Women don't cheat on REAL MEN because they are afraid of losing them. People like you wife up chicks and profess your undying love over and over, and put the cherry on top by asking her to be your loving wife for the rest of your life. You provide provide provide and expect that because you have provided so much for your wife it is her duty to remain faithful. Well guess what bud, real life doesn't work that way. That's what I'm tryin to say to AJ here. It's all that briffault's law stuff you see spewed on 1/4 of the posts here at SS...and there's a reason for it. Read the corollaries here:

1 - Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.

2 - Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit (see corollary 1)

3 - A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male.

Marriage is not an agreement in monogomy. It is an agreement in slavery. Your head's just too far up your a$$ to realize it.

I'm no proponent of marriage, especially at my/AJ's age and never have been so I don't know what you are talking about. As far as flirting goes, hell yeah I flirt with other girls. Do I go out of my way to flirt with them or get their numbers? No, because I get enough female attention from my GF and I wouldn't expect her to be giving out her number to other guys.

As far as you still believing that real men don't get cheated on, you're out of touch with reality or don't have much real life experience. If you date a ho, she's gonna continue to be a ho no matter if you are Don Juan or Poindexter.

 

[BeDJ]

As far as you still believing that real men don't get cheated on, you're out of touch with reality or don't have much real life experience. If you date a ho, she's gonna continue to be a ho no matter if you are Don Juan or Poindexter.

There is a fine line between acceptance and delusion of hypergamy. Yes, women may be trying to get the bigger better deal, money, looks, status, etc. However, you have to understand that a woman's decision is not based on logic, but rather emotion. That was why GAME is absolutely more essential than other assets you have. Her hamster controls how her vagina tingles.

That is not to say improve game and neglect other assets, but as far as success with women, game is king. Every other asset is for your own happiness.