Socially Distanced Dates

[Diamond]

Hi guys

First time posting here in a few years. By way of introduction, I'm 36, fairly active in online dating and in a country (UK) where Covid restrictions have started to be lifted - you can now meet another person in public but you have to stay 2 or more metres apart.

So in the past 2 or 3 weeks, I've been on a couple of online 1st dates out in public (going for a walk with my date and my dog) that I've felt have gone really well, I've been very attracted to both girls and I was keen for a 2nd date - however I've ended up getting the dreaded 'no spark' text message afterwards.
I always tend to think that when a woman says 'no spark', she means 'no sexual tension' and I feel that on both dates, the social distancing has made building that sexual tension difficult. We've walked, we've chatted, we've had a good laugh, we've got on well but because of the social distancing, I've not been able to do the closer more intimate stuff that I normally would do - the hand on the small of their back or their waist, the kisses on the neck, the whispering slightly naughty things into their ear. I.e. there's been no kino and no escalation when there definitely would have been under normal circumstances.

I guess the question I'm asking here is: have any of you guys found the same thing? Any thoughts on how to overcome it? Or do you think it's just a case of leaving dating until there's no restrictions?

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

The real issue here is managing the perception of physical contact.

I personally dont believe that this virus is really changing the core realities (it is changing the technicalities and dynamics) of dating. people are still ****ing. that will never stop.

I've noticed that being a bit more direct then you usually are regardless of how direct that is helps cut through the bs. if your gonna play everything by the rules shes not gonna touch you even if you do go out. so in a sense you have to be the "*******" and go for it even though people may look at you weird.

if everyone has become more conscientious of maintaining physical space --> less touching --> more loneliness --> more desire for touch.

ironic isnt it?

Cheers

 

[Lookatu]

No I have not. If she's willing to walk with you side by side and not wearing masks then she's ok with whatever comes next. You didn't get second dates because you didn't escalate. I would start by holding hands and if the date goes well, give her a kiss towards the end of the night. Don't be a pvssy and always go for it. It's always better to be more aggressive than not.

 

[Kotaix]

IMO, the whole social distancing thing has become a state of collective paranoia that has gotten insanely out of proportion. Especially in the UK with cops trying to tell couples who live together to stay away from each other. I see it as part of the whole dumbsh!t normie culture of conformance and virtue signalling.

Yes, you should limit your social interactions, but there is such a thing as common sense.

You're just as likely to get a venereal disease than you are covid at this point. If you've been responsible and you know who you've been around, and so does she, then I see no reason not to escalate to physical touching.

Covid-19 is neither the spanish flu nor the plague, diseases which could kill within 12 hours.

 

[2Rocky]

 

[SW15]

IMO, the whole social distancing thing has become a state of collective paranoia that has gotten insanely out of proportion. I see it as part of the whole dumbsh!t normie culture of conformance and virtue signalling.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

So in the past 2 or 3 weeks, I've been on a couple of online 1st dates out in public (going for a walk with my date and my dog) that I've felt have gone really well, I've been very attracted to both girls and I was keen for a 2nd date - however I've ended up getting the dreaded 'no spark' text message afterwards.
I always tend to think that when a woman says 'no spark', she means 'no sexual tension' and I feel that on both dates, the social distancing has made building that sexual tension difficult.

I absolutely despise that text message. I would rather get ghosted than received that candy asssed text message. The candy asssed text message is "I had a good time but I do not see this going anywhere".

I agree that no spark means no sexual tension. I'll agree that the bullshiit physical distancing stuff inhibits the ability to physically escalate. I think a lot of us are still trying to work through solutions on this. The best solution is likely not giving a shiit and escalating anyway. I'm really curious to see how others are addressing this, either in app sourced first dates or cold approaches.

On walks, there's probably a good stopping point where escalation can be done. I've done that on walks during non-pandemic times.

I guess the question I'm asking here is: have any of you guys found the same thing? Any thoughts on how to overcome it? Or do you think it's just a case of leaving dating until there's no restrictions?

The epidemiologists in the United States are completely out of touch with the reality in which people live. I'm guessing that the United Kingdom is similar. The two most prominent ones in the United States are a 79 year old man who has been married for multiple decades and a 64 year old married woman. Neither one of these people can relate to what it is like to be single and unattached, single and marginally attached/plate spinning, or single and in an exclusive relationship but not living in the same household as that person. Currently, less than half the U.S. population is married. The percentage of people in the U.S. who are married is at an all time low. Right now, the three categories of people I mentioned in a previous sentence is at an all time high. Yet the epidemiologists and doctors are pretending it is a past era when a larger percentage of people in stable, long term relationships.

This vaccine stuff is going to take a while to shake out. From the beginning of the pandemic until a vaccine may be 2 years. No one unattached or marginally attached can leave dating for that long and not suffer physiological and psychological consequences, least of all single and unattached men.

The real issue here is managing the perception of physical contact.

I personally dont believe that this virus is really changing the core realities (it is changing the technicalities and dynamics) of dating. people are still ****ing. that will never stop.

I've noticed that being a bit more direct then you usually are regardless of how direct that is helps cut through the bs. if your gonna play everything by the rules shes not gonna touch you even if you do go out. so in a sense you have to be the "*******" and go for it even though people may look at you weird.

if everyone has become more conscientious of maintaining physical space --> less touching --> more loneliness --> more desire for touch.

I'm thinking this is the best course of action. The cold approachers have to be bold and approach as if there were no pandemic. The app swipers should do the same. First dates, regardless of how they are sourced, need escalation.

 

[RickTheToad]

Hi guys

First time posting here in a few years. By way of introduction, I'm 36, fairly active in online dating and in a country (UK) where Covid restrictions have started to be lifted - you can now meet another person in public but you have to stay 2 or more metres apart.

So in the past 2 or 3 weeks, I've been on a couple of online 1st dates out in public (going for a walk with my date and my dog) that I've felt have gone really well, I've been very attracted to both girls and I was keen for a 2nd date - however I've ended up getting the dreaded 'no spark' text message afterwards.
I always tend to think that when a woman says 'no spark', she means 'no sexual tension' and I feel that on both dates, the social distancing has made building that sexual tension difficult. We've walked, we've chatted, we've had a good laugh, we've got on well but because of the social distancing, I've not been able to do the closer more intimate stuff that I normally would do - the hand on the small of their back or their waist, the kisses on the neck, the whispering slightly naughty things into their ear. I.e. there's been no kino and no escalation when there definitely would have been under normal circumstances.

I guess the question I'm asking here is: have any of you guys found the same thing? Any thoughts on how to overcome it? Or do you think it's just a case of leaving dating until there's no restrictions?

Wow. Is your penis that long? ;'p

 

[Kotaix]

This vaccine stuff is going to take a while to shake out. From the beginning of the pandemic until a vaccine may be 2 years. No one unattached or marginally attached can leave dating for that long and not suffer physiological and psychological consequences, least of all single and unattached men.

A vaccine will be mostly useless by the time it actually comes out. The virus will already have run thru the susceptible population a that point, or it will have mutated and the vaccine won't be necessary.

However, I do think that this will advance the science of epidemiology and vaccine production to the point that if this ever happens again, we'll be more prepared.

 

[2Rocky]

 

[Diamond]

Thanks all. I think the responses confirm what I was already thinking myself: the escalation is essential for building any sort of sexual tension. For me, just saying 'oh I'll break the rules' isn't an easy thing to do as the virus is very close to home - I was hospitalised with it myself in early April and I've got a friend who lost his dad to it. So as a result, I'm definitely more cautious than the average person. But I also do agree with no escalation = no sexual tension = no 2nd date

 

[EyeBRollin]

I’ve had a few new corona dates. You just have to respect her space more in the beginning and do outdoor dates. Proceed as you would normally do otherwise.

 

[SW15]

I’ve had a few new corona dates. You just have to respect her space more in the beginning and do outdoor dates. Proceed as you would normally do otherwise.

Did you get them from cold approaches or app swiping? Keep distance on the cold approaches?

Outdoor dates can be tough in Sun Belt U.S. states with hot climates. In the pre-pandemic era, I did some outdoor dates, but usually in the more temperate times of the year (October to April where I am).

 

[EyeBRollin]

Did you get them from cold approaches or app swiping? Keep distance on the cold approaches?

Outdoor dates can be tough in Sun Belt U.S. states with hot climates. In the pre-pandemic era, I did some outdoor dates, but usually in the more temperate times of the year (October to April where I am).

ive been doing online. I doubt Day game can be effective right now. Can’t even see her whole face with the masks.

 

[SW15]

ive been doing online. I doubt Day game can be effective right now. Can’t even see her whole face with the masks.

I've tried some day game. I did a gym approach. I've tried to do grocery store approaches. In grocery stores, I do look for IOIs from eye contact and smiling. Obviously, with the masks, determining IOIs would be more challenging in the grocery store. I could approach based upon eye contact. I have done a couple of outdoor approaches while walking and not wearing a mask. Neither went well as they were distanced approaches, as I was around 6 feet apart.

The epidemiologists are full of schitt and have never lived in the real world.

I have some pre-pandemic plates that I'm living on right now. I am having a difficult time with new prospects at the moment.

 

[Lookatu]

I have some pre-pandemic plates that I'm living on right now. I am having a difficult time with new prospects at the moment.

You and all us lucky guys... Lol
Hey, if we can't get Evian, at least Glacier Ice is better than tap or no water...

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

I couldn't have said it better myself.



I absolutely despise that text message. I would rather get ghosted than received that candy asssed text message. The candy asssed text message is "I had a good time but I do not see this going anywhere".

I agree that no spark means no sexual tension. I'll agree that the bullshiit physical distancing stuff inhibits the ability to physically escalate. I think a lot of us are still trying to work through solutions on this. The best solution is likely not giving a shiit and escalating anyway. I'm really curious to see how others are addressing this, either in app sourced first dates or cold approaches.

On walks, there's probably a good stopping point where escalation can be done. I've done that on walks during non-pandemic times.



The epidemiologists in the United States are completely out of touch with the reality in which people live. I'm guessing that the United Kingdom is similar. The two most prominent ones in the United States are a 79 year old man who has been married for multiple decades and a 64 year old married woman. Neither one of these people can relate to what it is like to be single and unattached, single and marginally attached/plate spinning, or single and in an exclusive relationship but not living in the same household as that person. Currently, less than half the U.S. population is married. The percentage of people in the U.S. who are married is at an all time low. Right now, the three categories of people I mentioned in a previous sentence is at an all time high. Yet the epidemiologists and doctors are pretending it is a past era when a larger percentage of people in stable, long term relationships.

This vaccine stuff is going to take a while to shake out. From the beginning of the pandemic until a vaccine may be 2 years. No one unattached or marginally attached can leave dating for that long and not suffer physiological and psychological consequences, least of all single and unattached men.



I'm thinking this is the best course of action. The cold approachers have to be bold and approach as if there were no pandemic. The app swipers should do the same. First dates, regardless of how they are sourced, need escalation.

I mean it's a uncomfortable thought but as is the case in a lot of areas currently there is a big difference between pretending to comply with rules and norms and actually complying with rules and norms.

I'd rather not get into a tinfoil hat style rant more than I already do but I'm extremely skeptical about how BLM issues, corona issues, economic issues and international relations issues will play out over the next lets say 5 years.

Cheers

 

[SW15]

It isn't feasible for anyone who isn't living with their partner or married to follow distancing guidelines set forth by epidemiologists. The epidemiologists, despite their advanced degrees, do not appear to realize this.

I guarantee that people who need to get laid will not follow distancing guidelines.

 

[SW15]

"No spark" text messages are nuclear-tier sh!t tests. She wants to gauge your reaction. An Aloof response is your best bet.

I've always ignored the candy asssed "I had a good time but felt no connection and do not see this going forward" text message. If indeed it is a shiit test, what's the best aloof response to get a 2nd date after the said candy asssed text?