Socializing can stunt your growth

[future_strongguy]

"You must always be socializing" is how women think. Don't let it get to your head.

When a guy doesn't want to socialize, for whatever reason, he is seen as a loser. Again, this is how women think.

The only time I socialize is when I want to learn something. Otherwise, it's a waste of time.

Good example of socializing: going to a bar to talk to girls and try learn more about girls.

Bad example of socializing: going to a bar to talk to girls for the sake of talking to girls (because that is what society says you should do).

There is no problem with "awkward silence." I am often awkwardly silent sitting in class. Some day's I want to learn stuff about people and things, some days I don't. There are days I am completely silent and days I am very talkative. As a result, I am constantly growing.

Also, many people are really bad at socializing for the sake of socializing. In class, the only thing people talk about is how much they hate the teacher, how much they hate the homework, the tests, being there, being tired, etc.

There isn't much you can learn when people are always talking about how much they hate college and hate being there and hate being tired and hate their lives. The only way to converse with them is to bring yourself down to their level and talk like them, and doing this will stunt your growth.

They don't want to be there, and so it again stunts their growth. The classroom stunts our growth just as much as going out and socializing with women all the time does. This is because when talking to girls, we must bring ourselves down to their level to have a decent conversation. We must use phrases like "OMG! REALLY!!" and pretend we are interested in what they are saying so they have sex with us.

Yes, this makes you a loser. Bill Gates was a loser. His classmates were partying and socializing for the sake of socializing (that's the point of college right?). Now, they are working mediocre jobs while he is living in a 150 million dollar house.

 

[CaptainJ]

What a moronic post.

 

[future_strongguy]

Hear hear! Of course this post is moronic, with this being a "how to get gurls LOOOL!" forum and all...

So let me re-write it for you "players" and "pimps" out there.

Always have an objective when socializing!

Today I went to the supermarket! I got my items and went to the check out place and decided to strike up a conversation with the cashier.

But for what purpose?

I am a young guy, and I'm thinking about getting a job. However, I want it to be a decent job. I don't want to work at some brainwashing job like Walmart.

Objective: Make "small talk" with the cashier to see how they like their job!

I walk up to a young cashier. Because I am young, I want to know how a job like this fares with a young person's life.

I say: "Hello! How are you?"

She looks kind of gloomy and says: "Oh you know, just surviving..."

Alas! I have learned something. Maybe this job is too stressful for a young person like me! Then again, maybe it isn't... further investigation is required. Maybe next time I can actually ask her how she likes the job.

See? Now you learned something! You can use this to your advantage, because now you are going into a conversation with the purpose of learning something, rather than engaging in the conversation for the sake of engaging in a conversation.

No longer do you have to "fake interest" and do stupid player stuff like "mimic her movements" and fake smile and fake everything.

When you are talking to someone with an objective, you are genuinely interested in what they say. They will be able to tell.. you can't fake this genuine interest. And even if you could, why would you want to? Why get with a girl if you aren't genuinely interested in her from the start? You're future relationship will be destined for failure because it started with FAKE-NESS, not GENUINENESS.

So change the way you think during conversations, and you will improve in all conversations.

The point isn't to stop socializing, the point is to stop socializing FOR THE SAKE OF SOCIALIZING.

The point: don't go talking to girls "because I wantz 2 talk 2 gurls LOOL!!" Why? Because girls are STUPID. They talk in stupid "woman language" and their topics of discussion have NO POINT. You will need to drag yourself down to their level. It's funny when you look for this in real life. Some guys attempt to get with girls so they start talking like them. They start saying stuff like "OMGGGG! RLY?!?! I CANT BELIEVE THAT OMGOMG!!" They don't talk like men at all, they talk like women!

 

[War Against Betaism]

So basically, just living is stunting my growth. Seems like you're just coming up with excuses as to why you have no friends tbqh.

 

[Woodsworth]

I think you really have the wrong idea about what people get out of talking to other people. If you are simply mining people for information, they will pick up on it and become uncomfortable. Being light hearted and simply going in there to take risks and enjoy yourself means that you will always achieve your goal, and it doesn't matter how the girl reacts to you - you've had fun along the way, you've reached your goal.

You can use this to your advantage, because now you are going into a conversation with the purpose of learning something, rather than engaging in the conversation for the sake of engaging in a conversation.

This is a perfect example of being "outcome dependent" - i.e. your purpose depends on something else other than simply enjoying conversation. You are dependent on their reactions. This comes across in your speech and mannerisms, and makes people less comfortable

 

[War Against Betaism]

This topic would have a meaning, if the purpose of human beings was to just extract information from the world and learn everything possible. No, human beings are social by nature; when we don't socialize, we get depressed.

 

[sharkbeat]

wtf are you talking about?! Have heard you of the phrase "having fun"? Look it up!

 

[Captain]

We must use phrases like "OMG! REALLY!!" and pretend we are interested in what they are saying so they have sex with us.

I could tear apart this entire post for laughs, but I really can't be bothered.

About that quote above: obviously you have never read a single post on this site. Real men don't sit around faking interest in mediocre conversations.

EDIT:

Oh screw it, I may as well.

The point isn't to stop socializing, the point is to stop socializing FOR THE SAKE OF SOCIALIZING.

This is exactly why you probably fail with women. I wonder what else you've given up on...

They talk in stupid "woman language"

Which is exactly what men who do not understand women and who do not get sex say.

 

[Voice]

I used to think like this, when I was depressed. A time after I lost this girl I isolated myself in my dorm room a lot. I missed out on sooo much. I lost all social skills and wit I gained. I lost all positivity. Socializing became nothing but a chore to me. I stopped growing socially.

But, recently I realized it's the complete opposite of what you're saying. Socializing is the exact thing that makes you grow! Isolating yourself makes you lose those skills.

Damn I wasted a lot of time doing what you're doing now and I'll never make that mistake again.

I know sometimes socializing is tough especially if you have some kind of social anxiety, but socializing is fun! Don't force anything if you're uncomfortable, but learn to let go and have fun.

Your post inspired me the opposite way and for that I thank you, I only hope you can see it the same way.