Socialization

[JaegerPilot217]

So is knowing how to approach and talk and flirt with girls in terms of attracting them in order yo get a girlfriend, is it instinctive for most guys? Or did most guys have to learn, go through trial and error?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Just wondering, it seems like most guys instinctively know how to get a girlfriend since the teenage years

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear B squared,
I don't give a plugged nickel for your grammatical skills,James Joyce used no grammar at all!...there is a refreshing originality in your writing,and yes sometimes your very different life experience,can bring interesting perspectives to novel situations....I think if you sat and polished these offerings,something would be lost...Having said that the rows of dots that replaces the expletives you frequently use,interrupts the flow of your prose...can I ask you to just put in the first letter of the word in question,that would help me a lot!

 

[Die Hard]

*Big post*

I'm feeling you, man... One's socialization is determined by so many factors that are just out of your control. Still, all we can do is focus on the factors that we do have control over. You can't choose the hand of cards that you get dealt in life, but you can choose how to play them. Life's a struggle, you just have to make the most of it.....or commit suicide

 

[GetFit66]

I'm surprised more women don't commit suicide .... prolly cuz they have a busy career destroying lives

 

[devilkingx2]

...my position as one of the more popular boys and very much a part of the “in crowd”....

There was another girl who here I’ll call Angela... Even though she had a charm to her, she really wasn’t that pretty and had a personality – a low classiness - that made me almost embarrassed to be seen with her...

...One day Valerie pulled me aside telling me that people like us didn’t date people like Angela. I agreed with her as by then I had come to realize that there was a fundamental difference between Angela and her friends and Valerie, me, and our crowd. It had a lot to do with how we were treated by others, how we interacted with the outside world.

I was with you until this post... so what you're saying is that you felt superior to the less popular kids(plebeians/philistines) because you were popular(blue blood) and they weren't and that's what lead to this post...

you're kidding right?

I don’t think that it is that “naturals” are born with “Game” as much as “naturals” naturally attract girls/women. It is a pretty easy game to play if the woman wants you before you even get started, especially if she sticks her hand down your pants to get things going.

actually, if the girl already wants you you're playing a different game from everyone else called "don't f*** it up"

 

[potato]

I was with you until this post... so what you're saying is that you felt superior to the less popular kids(plebeians/philistines) because you were popular(blue blood) and they weren't and that's what lead to this post...

you're kidding right?

That isn’t it. The point is that there were differences between the two groups, one of which I felt comfortable in because I was simular to them and the other group where I felt out of place.

What I’m trying to do here is to show that the process that led someone like Stagger Lee to be so hateful towards women and the so called feminization of the US is the exact same process that led me to feel a great deal of pleasure being around women and being grateful that the feminist movement has helped to make America a better place.

This socialization doesn’t end when one becomes an adult but continues throughout life. To show how this comes up I’ll describe a bit of some legal trouble I’ve recently resolved.

I was accused of a crime that not only didn’t I commit but a crime that never happened. The original charge came because an accuser made the argument that since I did A I must have also done B. There was never any evidence to show this. The whole of the charge rested on the accuser and the arresting officer claiming that I had admitted to the two of them and another officer that I had indeed done B. I never made such an admission – they were in essence, liars.

Long ago I had participated in a court watching study. I came away from that experience with the clear understanding that the outcome of most cases could be predicted by the appearance of the principle players – their dress, their posture, their grooming, their looks, their skin color…

Anyhow back to my case and the trial. My accuser was dressed nice, by Walmart standards that is. He wore boots, dungarees, and a sweatshirt under a zip up hoodie. The arresting officer wore his police uniform which looked as if it was designed for walking in fields. Both men had shaven heads that revealed oddly shaped angular heads that were usually covered with hats. My accuser also had one of those circle around your mouth mustache – goatee things. The prosecutor was overweight, had sloppy fitting clothes, and sat and stood in an ungraceful manner. His head was also shaved.

My lawyer and I, on the other hand were dressed in well fitting suits, had well groomed hair on our heads and freshly shaved faces. The judge was an upper middle class middle aged woman.

Even though the same group, the accuser, the cop, and the prosecutor had previously convicted more than a dozen persons on pretty much the same crap, at every step, at every decision the judge sided with me. When the prosecution rested, my lawyer made a motion for acquittal on account of the lack of credibility of the witnesses. It was an easy decision for the judge to make.

The socialization comes in that my accuser and the cop lacked the socialization that would have informed them how to appropriately dress and act. The judge, if she was anything like Valerie, and there were indications she was, would have picked up on this and judged them harshly for it. If I had been more like them I most likely wouldn’t have succeeded.

In any case this is just another example of why I have such a low opinion of those who operate the criminal justice system in the US.

 

[potato]

So is knowing how to approach and talk and flirt with girls in terms of attracting them in order yo get a girlfriend, is it instinctive for most guys? Or did most guys have to learn, go through trial and error?

The desire is instinctive but it takes trial and error to make it work well. It seems to me that the greatest skill needed for approaching, talking to, and flirting with women is in reading them on the fly. You don’t get that skill until you’ve had a lot of interactions with women. Thus, someone who sits at home and never talks to women will never be able to until they actually try it, even it takes making a fool out of them self a few times.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

The desire is instinctive but it takes trial and error to make it work well. It seems to me that the greatest skill needed for approaching, talking to, and flirting with women is in reading them on the fly. You don’t get that skill until you’ve had a lot of interactions with women. Thus, someone who sits at home and never talks to women will never be able to until they actually try it, even it takes making a fool out of them self a few times.

Yeah I know the desire is instinctive obviously I was more referring to knowing how to approach and talk to them, have confidence with them, overall being able to pull them, whether it is for just hooking up or for getting a girlfriend, a relationship, its like most guys have had this skill since high school

 

[zekko]

Yeah I know the desire is instinctive obviously I was more referring to knowing how to approach and talk to them, have confidence with them, overall being able to pull them, whether it is for just hooking up or for getting a girlfriend, a relationship, its like most guys have had this skill since high school

Some of it is instinctual, but some of it still has to be honed through practice. Remember also that guys will tend to act cooler than they are. They will act more experienced than they are, and try to hide any weaknesses. So guys from high school will tend to appear better off than they actually are.

Just looking at this website, it's apparent that men have more problems and insecurities with women than they let on. There are guys here who talk about having over 100 lays, yet they're still on here complaining. When it comes to women, I'm not sure if there is ever a point where you are totally satisfied, no matter what path you choose.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Some of it is instinctual, but some of it still has to be honed through practice. Remember also that guys will tend to act cooler than they are. They will act more experienced than they are, and try to hide any weaknesses. So guys from high school will tend to appear better off than they actually are.

Just looking at this website, it's apparent that men have more problems and insecurities with women than they let on. There are guys here who talk about having over 100 lays, yet they're still on here complaining. When it comes to women, I'm not sure if there is ever a point where you are totally satisfied, no matter what path you choose.

Yeah the part I am asking about being instinctual is the ability to get a girlfriend or a hook-up, overall, the confidence for knowing how to approach and talk to them, know what to say and how to say it and when to say it, I already know and I am completely aware that the desire for getting a girlfriend and a hookup is instinctual, I was just asking about the ability in order to make that happen, like I am wondering if "game" is in some guys Genes, DNA, or it is a matter of how they were raised by their parents, the type of friends and peers they had growing up before puberty began, the type of social environments growing up, when I have had discussions with my Dad regarding my problems with attracting girls, getting a girlfriend, how to talk to them, my Dad says he thinks a big factor or influence on a guys success with girls is a lot of those guys probably had sisters growing up, that having a sister or sisters, an older sister or sister close to the guys age can be a huge factor in helping guys have success with girls, how to relate to women, etc., do you think my Dad has a good point?

 

[zekko]

do you think my Dad has a good point?

I think it's a combination of nature and nurture. Maybe the kid is of good genetic stock physically, so he isn't likely to be bullied or stuffed into his locker, or other such self esteem damaging incidents. Maybe he's a good looking fellow who appeals to the ladies.

Then maybe his parents are very outgoing, and he has learned to be the same way. Maybe they've taught him some skills with a baseball or basketball, and that can help him succeed in athletics (which can catch a girl's eye). Maybe he lives in a neighborhood with a lot of kids and he learns how to socialize with a big group early on.

Not sure about the theory about sisters.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I think it's a combination of nature and nurture. Maybe the kid is of good genetic stock physically, so he isn't likely to be bullied or stuffed into his locker, or other such self esteem damaging incidents. Maybe he's a good looking fellow who appeals to the ladies.

Then maybe his parents are very outgoing, and he has learned to be the same way. Maybe they've taught him some skills with a baseball or basketball, and that can help him succeed in athletics (which can catch a girl's eye). Maybe he lives in a neighborhood with a lot of kids and he learns how to socialize with a big group early on.

Not sure about the theory about sisters.

yeah, my bad, obviously I should have mentioned that these guys probably were born with natural good looks, obviously good looks will make it easier for both sexes, but yet many people say women are not as strongly attracted to looks as much as men are, starting to believe that more, why do girls love a guy who is successful in a sport? never understood that, but I do understand the theory about the guy growing up in a neighborhood with a lot of kids and got to socialize a lot early on

 

[zekko]

I should have mentioned that these guys probably were born with natural good looks, obviously good looks will make it easier for both sexes, but yet many people say women are not as strongly attracted to looks as much as men are, starting to believe that more, why do girls love a guy who is successful in a sport?

Maybe not even born that good looking, but having big, strong bodies at a young age. As opposed to being short, scrawny, etc. Not being the kind of kid that gets picked on. Maybe being strong enough to be able to impose your will if needed. Maybe being athletic.

As for athletes being popular, I suppose there is a physical component and a social component. Being good at sports implies good health, strength, and fitness, so that's a good genetic indicator. Being skilled physically might carry some sexual suggestion in itself.

From a social standpoint, an athlete is kind of like a performer. He is in front of a crowd who pays to see him and cheers him on. It's a bit like fame on a smaller scale.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Maybe not even born that good looking, but having big, strong bodies at a young age. As opposed to being short, scrawny, etc. Not being the kind of kid that gets picked on. Maybe being strong enough to be able to impose your will if needed. Maybe being athletic.

As for athletes being popular, I suppose there is a physical component and a social component. Being good at sports implies good health, strength, and fitness, so that's a good genetic indicator. Being skilled physically might carry some sexual suggestion in itself.

From a social standpoint, an athlete is kind of like a performer. He is in front of a crowd who pays to see him and cheers him on. It's a bit like fame on a smaller scale.

That's why I attended at Boot-Camp this year 2 months ago, run by a Dating Coach that helps people how to attract people of the opposite sex

 

[JaegerPilot217]

But if knowing how to approach and talk to women in order to attract them in order to get a girlfriend is something that can be developed, learned, than that gives me more hope and inspiration

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Anybody here love David Wygant? what do you think of his advice?