I was just listening to a tape by David DeAngelo and thought of some things that he hadn't mentioned.
He was talking about how women and men would look for partners who would provide good genes for off-spring. Men would look more to the physical, whilst women would look for more personality traits. Of course both work the other way around, but there is a primary instinct there.
Today, I had watched a program about apes and saw about the dominant male who would get all the women he wanted. He had two major advantages over the other apes..
1) He had proven his strength to be the best
2) Everybody respected him
1) Is obvious. It could easily be that women are attracted to the biggest, strongest man out there.. but really, I dont think anyone believes that's true - but it does come into the equation.
2) He has everybody respecting him! It almost needs to be repeated! How many of you out there value the respect of the people around you & feel bad when people dont respect you?
Respect is social acceptance. Respect can come in various ways.
The easiest way, if you are bigger than everyone else, is to throw yourself about and show that you are boss and scare everyone to respect you.
Another way is to be a good person.. be nice to everyone else and they will be nice to you.
That must translate to you being a social success and so will gain more women.. but wait.. its not true. Being nice to everybody does give you some degree of respect and social acceptance. It shows you care about others - a valued asset... but, if you take it too far, it shows that you are a "wuss" who can't or is not willing stand up for himself!
From this you lose respect. In fact, you become quite neutral. Not really stirring up any great positive or negative effects on women. That means they see you, but dont notice you!
Think about rock stars. They get social acceptance because thousands and thousands of people would happily stand to watch them perform. If a girl were to be with one of these guys she'd feel so great!! Even if he cheated her like ****e.. she's still with someone who stands out from everyone else!
The female ape is also more willing to be with the leader of the group...
So think about why certain people get lots of women. Here are a few examples:
Aggressive (Strong against other people)
Funny (Popular amongst other people)
Strong (Potentially better than other people)
Talented (Better than other people)
Confident (More secure in himself than other people)
Successful (Can give more to her than other people)
Fun! (Can give a better time than other people)
I'm sure the list goes on.
So think about it, think about how you act socially, and the other people around you who are good with girls socially. Then compare yourself with them. Which would be the best socially?
Sometimes you will win. If someone is a druggie, you'll win, because its socially bad. If someone is very confident, you may lose because you aren't as confident.. even if their confidence can be perceived by yourself as negative.
I think its an interesting theory. Does anyone have any examples of how their social superiority has had a strong effect on women?
My example would be that, when working as a temp for several months. I proved myself as an excellent employee and became the "leader" of the temporary staff. At that time I was very flirty. Before I left for university, I had 4/5 girls I had "underneath" me all showing their feelings for me. It was great, but I'm sure a lot was to do with the way I projected myself as a social leader in comparison to the others around them.
Thoughts?
He was talking about how women and men would look for partners who would provide good genes for off-spring. Men would look more to the physical, whilst women would look for more personality traits. Of course both work the other way around, but there is a primary instinct there.
Today, I had watched a program about apes and saw about the dominant male who would get all the women he wanted. He had two major advantages over the other apes..
1) He had proven his strength to be the best
2) Everybody respected him
1) Is obvious. It could easily be that women are attracted to the biggest, strongest man out there.. but really, I dont think anyone believes that's true - but it does come into the equation.
2) He has everybody respecting him! It almost needs to be repeated! How many of you out there value the respect of the people around you & feel bad when people dont respect you?
Respect is social acceptance. Respect can come in various ways.
The easiest way, if you are bigger than everyone else, is to throw yourself about and show that you are boss and scare everyone to respect you.
Another way is to be a good person.. be nice to everyone else and they will be nice to you.
That must translate to you being a social success and so will gain more women.. but wait.. its not true. Being nice to everybody does give you some degree of respect and social acceptance. It shows you care about others - a valued asset... but, if you take it too far, it shows that you are a "wuss" who can't or is not willing stand up for himself!
From this you lose respect. In fact, you become quite neutral. Not really stirring up any great positive or negative effects on women. That means they see you, but dont notice you!
Think about rock stars. They get social acceptance because thousands and thousands of people would happily stand to watch them perform. If a girl were to be with one of these guys she'd feel so great!! Even if he cheated her like ****e.. she's still with someone who stands out from everyone else!
The female ape is also more willing to be with the leader of the group...
So think about why certain people get lots of women. Here are a few examples:
Aggressive (Strong against other people)
Funny (Popular amongst other people)
Strong (Potentially better than other people)
Talented (Better than other people)
Confident (More secure in himself than other people)
Successful (Can give more to her than other people)
Fun! (Can give a better time than other people)
I'm sure the list goes on.
So think about it, think about how you act socially, and the other people around you who are good with girls socially. Then compare yourself with them. Which would be the best socially?
Sometimes you will win. If someone is a druggie, you'll win, because its socially bad. If someone is very confident, you may lose because you aren't as confident.. even if their confidence can be perceived by yourself as negative.
I think its an interesting theory. Does anyone have any examples of how their social superiority has had a strong effect on women?
My example would be that, when working as a temp for several months. I proved myself as an excellent employee and became the "leader" of the temporary staff. At that time I was very flirty. Before I left for university, I had 4/5 girls I had "underneath" me all showing their feelings for me. It was great, but I'm sure a lot was to do with the way I projected myself as a social leader in comparison to the others around them.
Thoughts?
