Social Networking/Texting - Subsequent Effects on Seduction

[Audiophile]

I wanted to know what you guys think about texting/facebook, in detail. It's no surprise that online social websites are now a major part of game, but how game changing are they? I'd really like take a deeper look into how facebook/texting (and others) are changing game, and how we as a community should react. I am young, so I don't have as much experience as some of you guys on this forum, so I want to see what all of you think about the onslaught of new waves of communication. First, we'd have to break down all of the new forms of mass communication:

1) Texting
2) Social Networking Websites (Facebook, Myspace, etc..)
3) Online Dating

These are the ones I believe are the most popular forms of communication, if I am missing any others, just let me know. I have little experience in online dating, so I hope you guys could add more to that.
I'd like to begin with texting. It's clear texting is now a huge part of picking up and attracting women, and has been for a few years now due how massively popular cellphones have gotten. We already have plenty of guides on "how to text women". That's not what I want to discuss, what I really want to know is how texting is changing the dynamics of social interaction. Before, you'd have to actually talk to people to interact, now you can simply send a message and talk to dozens of people, without leaving the privacy of your own home.

So a few questions I'd like to ask about texting:

1) Do you believe it gives men more confidence when talking to women? Either because they now able to think more about what they say, or another reason.
2) Is texting harmful, because women can now have FBs on call whenever they want? I.E, completely ruined night game.
3) What do you guys think about texting as a whole? Good/bad/impartial?
4) How has texting personally affected your game, if at all?

I just want to know what the community as a whole thinks about this "new" form of communication. I'm curious because I used to not be a huge texter, but I've realized texting is now an essential part of game.

Moving on to facebook/social networking, this is where we see a lot of debate/controversy over its use. Some guys say it is another way to reach and talk to women, and have wholeheartedly embraced it, while others stand against it, stating that all facebook does is make you seem more "AFC"ish and attention needy. There are more arguments for/against the use of facebook, but I just listed two quickies that popped into my head. The major question about facebook is:

1) Are you for or against the use of facebook/other social networking sites? Why?
2) What role do you believe facebook plays in the bigger picture of seducing women?
3) Has social networking had a positive or negative impact on the PUA/DJ community?

I don't know much about online dating, as I have no experience at all, so I'll just leave that third category blank. I'd appreciate it if guys who are familiar with sites like OKCupid/Whatever dating sites would like to share their opinions on them.

 

[Zarky]

I think that PUAs need to embrace and master new technologies. Phone game is dead. Clubs are mostly dead. Everybody is spinning plates. You even need game on your Facebook "Wall" and you need to be very careful whom you "friend." Know your Facebook privacy options thoroughly and monitor daily the comments your girls post on your wall & pics.

Know the pitfalls of text game--specifically that misunderstandings are VERY easy to generate because there's no vocal tonality nor body language to clarify the limited amount of verbal data that flows through SMSs. Keep texts short and clear yet fun and "alpha;" it's an art for sure.

Anybody who says "never text" is living in a pre-2005 world. 3/4 of the women I date I don't speak with at all unless we're there together in person. It's all text/BBM/chat/email/facebook.

Having said all that, body language is still key when in person, voice pitch, cadence, everything. So you need to master in-person game too. Basically these days you're running game 24/7 and in all media.

 

[Myrrdin]

Phone game is dead.

I beg to differ. I find myself having more success on the phone than texting. Texting is very impersonal and most of the girls I know have told me that they love it more to talk on the phone than to text.

Whilst on the phone you really get to feel everything. Last night I had an unexpectedly great conversation with a girl I've only seen once. We had laughs and had a great time. She couldn't get enough of me and I had wasted all my techniques to get out .

Phone game is way more effective. I hate texts and social media and all this in "front of a screen" impersonal crap. We are afraid to interact on a face to face level so we devise excuses and devices to hide our insecurities. Pathetic. Everyone can be alpha on IM, text game, chat, facebook whatever. But face to face interactions, that's where you separate the men from the boys. Practice that, not highschool PUA lines you googled.

 

[Strelok]

I think it just makes it harder to men,you were used to compete against all the guys in the club while now you are competing with all the guys texting her,posting on her fb and even her female friends inviting her to go somewhere else.

Anyway it's not affordable to close your eyes and pretend we're still in 1995,you just have to deal with the change.
90's such a great decade...

 

[Audiophile]

Everyone can be alpha on IM, text game, chat, facebook whatever. But face to face interactions, that's where you separate the men from the boys. Practice that, not highschool PUA lines you googled.

Good point, because in the end, you have to actually meet in person with these women. However, being able to create interest online can be important, because you can already have some rapport going beforehand.

 

[Zarky]

Texting is very impersonal and most of the girls I know have told me that they love it more to talk on the phone than to text.

My experience is 180 degrees the opposite.

Phone game is way more effective. I hate texts and social media and all this in "front of a screen" impersonal crap.

What you personally 'hate' is immaterial to the discussion. We're discussing the direction that game is heading in, not what we personally would like it to be.

Everyone can be alpha on IM, text game, chat, facebook whatever.

Totally disagree. Most guys come off as real tools over digital media. It's very easy to screw up online interactions. Very easy.

I'm way better in person than online. But I know the future of game is online and over text. Anyone who tries to cling to the past isn't running real game. Simple as that. There is no other explanation. The future always wins.

 

[spinaroonie]

Great thread.
 
The 2000s saw a dramatic acceleration in the growth of female-centric communications technology - namely, the explosion of texting, social networking, and online dating that the OP touched upon. Yet most PUA material was developed in the late 90s/early 2000s, before smartphones and Facebook. IMO PUA theory hasn't kept pace with the evolution of the communications technology, especially now that the "seduction community" has morphed into the "seduction industry".
 
IMO all the growth in technology has had a negative effect on game. Simply, girls today have too many distractions and too many options. When was the last time you saw an attractive young woman traveling alone without iPod earpods, or peering down at her smartphone, or without a cell phone glued to her ear?
 
There was a time when “getting a number” actually meant something. You’d call her home and she’d pick up, you’d have an actual phone conversation, and you’d set up a date. Seems like something from the Jurassic period, but the older guys here will attest to this.
 
Now it’s 2011. How many threads have we read here where a guy seemingly has a great interaction with a girl in a club and get the number, only to have the girl screen out his call or ignore his texts the next day? “Flaking” as a verb didn’t exist in the 90s or earlier – flakes were something that came with dandruff.
 
It’s funny to read guys in here still crowing about getting numbers. Fellas, numbers means nothing. Girls today give out their number like candy on Halloween. How many of those numbers are translating to dates and lays?
 
Now guys will come on here and say that it’s all a numbers game – that you need to talk to 100 girls and get 20 numbers, play these little text games, and maybe get three dates out of it. Who has time for that sh*t? I have other demands on my time – I work, I study, I work out, volunteer, have hobbies, and spend time with family and friends. Far better to invest in one quality interaction with one quality girl that I’ll be assured of eventually dating and laying.
 
If Mystery and Style had to contend with today’s bar/club/night game environment (and not the late 90s), Mystery wouldn’t have developed his ingenious Mystery Method and Style wouldn’t have written The Game. They likely would have growing frustrated with the constant cell phones, the constant smartphones, the constant texting and Facebooking, the constant pics-with-digital-cameras and attention-wh*ring, the constant flaking – and quit. There would be no PUA community and no PUA industry. Of course, none of this was epidemic in the late 90s/early 00s because the technology didn’t exist.
 
Mystery and Style were the right guys that came about in the right place at the right time – in the Web 1.0 era when the internet was still novel and that permitted the anonymous dissemination of information worldwide via newsgroups, but before the machinations of Web 2.0 (social networking, online dating, smartphones & texting) that have killed the game these guys developed for good.
 
Game 1.0 is dead. It’s time for Game 2.0 – game in the smartphone era.

 

[Nemic]

You have to keep up with the times, and Smartphone era game is where its going. Anyone that doesn't have a smartphone yet doesn't know how powerful that device is. You are connected to EVERYONE instantly. Email, FB, TXT, Chats, everything wherever you are.

Technology changes everything. 10-15 years ago, you didn't have serious work related items happen in email. You emailed to set up a meeting to discuss. Now million dollar deals go down in email.

http://www.news10.net/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=82745

When it comes to college kids and recent grads (18-24 years old):

* 11 percent think it's appropriate to ask for a raise via text
* 32 percent say it's ok to "call in sick" to work via text (22% have actually done it)
* 11 percent think it's alright to quit a job via text

As for the younger 13 to 17 year olds who were one raised on text messages:

* 18 percent of 13-17 year olds think it's appropriate to ask for a raise via text
* 51 percent think it's ok to "call in sick" to work via text
* 20 percent think it's alright to quit a job via text

I'm sure dating is part of all this too.

 

[Big Overseas 1]

I think some fellas use tech like the tool it is, but most just use it cuz they're too scared too go for chicks straight on.

But I think nearly all women use tech to extract attention from fellas and then hide behind the tech when they don't wanna actually "put out".

 

[RSanders219]

Lots of girls I have talked to are really not into talking on the phone surprisingly. A lot of people on this board will bash texting and say to just call, but I have never struck out in the texting game and am always to build interest with a girl through it. But don't text too much where it just gets annoying you know? If the girl texts you a lot that's a good sign, but don't let it get in the way if you're busy doing something. That will make her think "Why isn't he texting me back right away?" and you'll be on her mind.

As for facebook, the rule of thumb I go by (thanks to this board) is, if you get the girls number in person. Just communicate with her through texts/calls whatever you prefer or she prefers. Don't go on facebook and look her up/add her. That route might seem kinda creepy to her (not to all girls though). It's her duty to show you interest through your game so she'll add you. I wouldn't facebook IM her all the time though, or message her. If you wanna get in touch just call/text her to meet up and go out somewhere.

Facebook in my honest opinion can be a pain in the ass, or can be extremely helpful to your game. Any girl can just add a guy who she thinks is cute, and as long as the guy isn't gay or have really bad social anxiety, he can probably hook up with her. It adds more struggle to the game, but as long as you have chicks writing on your wall and commenting on your status (even if they're just friends) the girl you're trying to game might see this and think "Wow he talks to a lot of girls, how can I stand out from the rest and get this guy". It's all about how you work the site and who you communicate with.

Your pics also play a big role on this site. If you have hundreds of pictures of just you alone taking a pic of yourself, you will probably seem boring to her. Have pictures of you and your friends partying, or pictures from a cool trip you went on. This will make her think you're full of adventure and know how to have a good time, which is crucial to building interest. Also, don't have any pics where you just look like a huge dork!

 

[RSanders219]

You have to keep up with the times, and Smartphone era game is where its going. Anyone that doesn't have a smartphone yet doesn't know how powerful that device is. You are connected to EVERYONE instantly. Email, FB, TXT, Chats, everything wherever you are.

Technology changes everything. 10-15 years ago, you didn't have serious work related items happen in email. You emailed to set up a meeting to discuss. Now million dollar deals go down in email.

http://www.news10.net/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=82745


I'm sure dating is part of all this too.

Wow, that's sort of a sickening statistic. I'm a 21 year old college student, and I would not think it's appropriate to call in sick, or quit a job via text haha! Nevermind the fact of asking for a raise via text. As far as I'm concerned, if you can't talk to your boss face to face about a raise you don't deserve it!

 

[Zarky]

The more people you're connected with, the more poon you will get. Simple as that. Technology allows you to connect with more people.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

Brad P has touched on this subject as of recent. He says hes coming out with a new method or product to deal with the excessive amount of guys out there having trouble with the modern day phone game.

I agree with this ALL. We gotta start looking into new ways to improve our interactions via the phone. Theres no way we're going back to the old days, I'm in my early twenties and even I know that when a girl gave you her house telephone details, it was ON. That was only, for me, maybe, 7 years ago.

What age group are we noticing this more with? 18-24? 25-30? 30-40+? What? I won't say its completely impossible to have an 1hour long convo ont he phone with a chic, but it is RARE. Its always been a periodic time frame with me. If I get any girls number (in the club, online, etc), its not after around 2 weeks does she start having a proper convo with me on the phone, and we're in COMFORT.

I think alot of guys are probably skipping steps and want the lay as quickly as possible, which you can't really do with Texting or Facebook so much. This new technology has given females an easy screening process. It's cheating really.

 

[spinaroonie]

Text exchange I had recently with an 18 year old. Met on POF, got her number, been texting back and forth sporadically over 3 days.

Me: damn you always sound so super hyper enthusiastic about everything.. k off to the gym now, what time you heading to bed

Her: Omg!! I know thats a really bad quality i have. Sorry and prolly latee

Me: I'll call ya quickly when i get back around 11 cool

Her: Text instead?

Me: having a real conversation is a much better way to get to know someone. agree?

Her: Lol trueee. But we could just text for now

Me: lol wow you're such a little girl with the texting

Her: Haha i hate talkin on the phone jeezee

Me: you suck

Her: Like omgg isnt textign sooo much fun!!! Lol


Like WTF? This b*tch expects me to be her little text buddy and entertain her at whim? While investing very little and doing nothing to reciprocate?

A teenage girl who hates talkig on the phone? Unfathomable a few years ago.

 

[Zarky]

Her: Haha i hate talkin on the phone jeezee

Like WTF? This b*tch expects me to be her little text buddy and entertain her at whim? While investing very little and doing nothing to reciprocate?

A teenage girl who hates talkig on the phone? Unfathomable a few years ago.

The problem is that you can't really multitask while talking on the phone. At least not to the extent that you can while texting. Recently, some older broad wanted to talk on the phone; we talked for 40 minutes and I got progressively more and more pissed, because I was sitting in a chair having to devote 100% of my attention to her when I could have been texting her while doing other things.

Texting allows you to have low-bandwidth communications across a whole day rather than intensive, high-bandwidth conversations for a few minutes. Nobody likes to have their time monopolized by somebody they hardly even know.

The future is having multiple low-bandwidth conversations with multiple people going over entire days, sometimes weeks, rather than high-bandwidth conversations for shorter periods of time. That's just how it is. The posture of PUAs that text is bad and phone is good is anachronistic. Probably our grandfathers thought talking on the phone with a woman was for p/ssies.

All that, and the fact that texting is less stress for younger women. Rather than trying to force them to do it your way, get good at doing it their way. You will never get young women these days if you force them to talk on the phone. They'd rather be multitasking. If you make their evenings come to a screeching halt just so they can talk with you for 30 minutes, you will lose them.

 

[runner83]

Text exchange I had recently with an 18 year old. Met on POF, got her number, been texting back and forth sporadically over 3 days.

Me: damn you always sound so super hyper enthusiastic about everything.. k off to the gym now, what time you heading to bed

Her: Omg!! I know thats a really bad quality i have. Sorry and prolly latee

Me: I'll call ya quickly when i get back around 11 cool

Her: Text instead?

Me: having a real conversation is a much better way to get to know someone. agree?

Her: Lol trueee. But we could just text for now

Me: lol wow you're such a little girl with the texting

Her: Haha i hate talkin on the phone jeezee

Me: you suck

Her: Like omgg isnt textign sooo much fun!!! Lol


Like WTF? This b*tch expects me to be her little text buddy and entertain her at whim? While investing very little and doing nothing to reciprocate?

A teenage girl who hates talkig on the phone? Unfathomable a few years ago.

Yes, don't fall into that trap.

Women are best in conversation. Men take action.

So try to limit the texting to reasonable limits and arrange for the meet.

Anything else is a waste of time.

 

[ArcBound]

IMO its very easy to build yourself up with text messaging and get it to carry over when you meet face to face. The benefits:

-I can simply not respond to anything if I don't want to
-I send out mass texts to pre-made groups and get a sh!t ton of responses for literally no effort.
-It's gaming on the go. Maybe I'm studying in my dorm or in class. If I wish, I can game her from right there without leaving or interrupting what I am doing.

As for online dating sites almost everyone I know my age doesn't use them. As for Facebook the only thing it might be useful is that it shows you have or don't have social proof. That's it. IMO facebook is just another popularity contest on an online medium. But then again life to some extent is like that. I don't think it's wise to game girls directly on their facebook walls where everyone can see them. And if you can facebook message them you might as well text them instead is my thought.

 

[Audiophile]

Do you guys ever use facebook to set up dates? I just tried it, and it was extremely successful, I'm shocked as to how well it worked. It may be because the girl already had interest in me, so it didn't matter how I approached, but since I'm on break and could not call her, I sent her a facebook message.

 

[ARrocket]

I think that PUAs need to embrace and master new technologies. Phone game is dead. Clubs are mostly dead. Everybody is spinning plates. You even need game on your Facebook "Wall" and you need to be very careful whom you "friend." Know your Facebook privacy options thoroughly and monitor daily the comments your girls post on your wall & pics.

Know the pitfalls of text game--specifically that misunderstandings are VERY easy to generate because there's no vocal tonality nor body language to clarify the limited amount of verbal data that flows through SMSs. Keep texts short and clear yet fun and "alpha;" it's an art for sure.

Anybody who says "never text" is living in a pre-2005 world. 3/4 of the women I date I don't speak with at all unless we're there together in person. It's all text/BBM/chat/email/facebook.

Having said all that, body language is still key when in person, voice pitch, cadence, everything. So you need to master in-person game too. Basically these days you're running game 24/7 and in all media.

Cosigned. +1 to Zarky.

@ Audiophile: I usually just get their phone number via Facebook and then set something up, but Facebook has been a HUGE tool for me.

Also, do not underestimate the power of sexual texts. Great post from Jariel that you can read here. Highly recommended.

Honestly, I haven't actually called a girl since I was in high school and didn't have a plan for texting so it was expensive. And yes, I have been very successful both online and via text. If you're in college and high school, it is a MUST, and of course, that age is just gonna keep going up and up. Tons of great resources out there to make your text game solid.

EDIT: Sorry Zarky, gotta spread it around.

 

[Packers2010]

was txting this girl on Friday and we was having a mini fight about us. then out of no ware she stayed over for the night.

so it ain't all dead