Social Life in High school's real purpose, confused

[antidonjuan]

I am above average dealing with girls in my high school but what is the real purpose of attracting them? Hell ya inside myself I am lustful like any other guys but I just care about my future too much and willing to dedicate most of the time studying.

I read yahoo answers in the other day mature people say that social stuff in high school never ain't matters much because its the smart people who gets to be bosses and these jerks to be losers.

I would definitely love to expand my social circle and attract girls (all guys wanted) but when I asked myself why do I think that way, I can't answer myself because it seems like dealing with women is much more important in the later life.

I heard a geniune adult friend say: "high school is about popularity and in the real life is about money and jobs. Study hard and forget about social stuff then you will be successful."

Can't you gain incredible confidence later on in life and worry about studying but not social stuff in high school? What is the real purpose of that fuz about expanding your social circle and get more girls in high school? Experience for later in life in sociality and women?

Inner struggles collides in me these few days, lost and definitely confused

I seriously need someone to sort this out for me, i want social stuff and girls and my future, is there a way to balance this?

I am well knowned to be smart in school subject stuff but when it comes with the value of popularity and social stuff in high school, I am well confused

 

[Bible_Belt]

fwiw, I am 15 years out of high school and now living back in the same small town. The guys I knew in high school who had the most enviable social circle and success with women back then now have largely unimpressive lives. They coach phys ed, sell cars, or work construction. The nerdy studious kids from high school all have better jobs that pay more. In regard to current success with women, I'd say that it is exactly the same between the two. Most guys are whipped, regardless of how cool they were in high school. When you are one of the "cool" kids, girl come easier, but in the larger scheme of things, that just makes guys lazier about developing a strong game with women.

In regard to the 'what is the point?' question, my answer would be fun. The point is to have fun and enjoy yourself. Do what makes you happy in your free time. That helps you blow of steam and relax in order to work more productively later. It also makes you a fun, content and secure guy, which in the long run will make you successful with women.

 

[antidonjuan]

Mr. Bible, you seem very experienced in the real world. And I think you are right! As a christian, I personally no doubt say that I want to become popular and attract some girls, it seems like its my nature. But when I think deep about it, I feel like my future is more important and high school is a place to practice your conversational skills and learn to be a man.

So is there any legit. benefits being popular and cool in high school regarding to my future?

 

[muzicfreak2k3]

I'm a freshman in college now... so i don't have the full perspective that Bible Belt has, but I can already see the trends. I was a ... well a nobody until about junior year. I was deans list and honors classes every semester in freshman & sophomore year, top 10 in my class. Then, one night i was out with a few friends.... and we were thinking. "In 10 or 20 years down the road... when we look back at our high school careers, what are we gonna remember?" The answer was "Nothing special." That summer we all tried hard and pretty much became "popular". Funny thing was ... some hot popular girls i hooked up with thought i was a "new guy" haha. Now.... mind you, I did NOT sacrifice my grades. I studied and made time to do homework right when i got back from school... so that later on I would be able to go out wherever people were going, whether food or just to hang out. The key is time management... and I'm realizing that more than ever now in college.
Anyways... back on topic haha. Majority of the football team... is becoming nothing quick. They all either dropped out of college... or never went in the frst place. Construction, and working at Shop-Rite are their current options... seems exciting.
My advice to you: Be social, be outgoing, meet everyone you can, but make sure that you keep your priorities straight and don't let your social life affect your academics.
You seem like you have a good head, so use it to figure out how you'll accomplish this task haha. Anyways, good luck and most importantly, HAVE FUN !!

 

[SinJester]

There is a flipside to what bible belt talks about, a thread I am quite fond of: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=36659

Think about this, so maybe the nerd get better jobs, but if they are still socially awkward are they still going to get hot girls? Even if they get REALLY rich they might get hot chicks but they will probably still fck jocks behind their back. So I see high school as a good place to start building social skills and skills with women. Even in college its going to be a long time before you are actually in your long time job. The people that are really succesfull are usually the ones who are best with people, rather than whatever their IQ is. I don't have to name a certain president do I?

Still don't ever drop your study.

 

[originaldj]

I think about it like this. If I study know I will sacrifice my immediate happiness for a future happiness. But when will the future happiness kick in? I don't want to wait until I retire until I am finally ready to pursue happiness without any worries. The key to life is BALANCE EVERYTHING

 

[Eklipse]

fwiw, I am 15 years out of high school and now living back in the same small town. The guys I knew in high school who had the most enviable social circle and success with women back then now have largely unimpressive lives. They coach phys ed, sell cars, or work construction. The nerdy studious kids from high school all have better jobs that pay more. In regard to current success with women, I'd say that it is exactly the same between the two. Most guys are whipped, regardless of how cool they were in high school. When you are one of the "cool" kids, girl come easier, but in the larger scheme of things, that just makes guys lazier about developing a strong game with women.

In regard to the 'what is the point?' question, my answer would be fun. The point is to have fun and enjoy yourself. Do what makes you happy in your free time. That helps you blow of steam and relax in order to work more productively later. It also makes you a fun, content and secure guy, which in the long run will make you successful with women.

I get what your saying but I just don't see the cool kids being whipped.Most of the cool guys are naturals and have good social skills. While the nerdy kids are socially awkward. I'm thinking that sure the nerdy kids will marry the girl, but she's probably cheating on them with that "cool" guys from high school. Those nerdy guys are still pretty weird later on in life and big AFC's.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My point is that AFCness does not discriminate. It's hard to see when you are in high school, but pretty much all guys are afc at heart, thus the average part of the acronym. The "cool" guys get more chances, but they just end up heartbroken more often. No matter how great a girl thinks you are, you can always destroy her affection with afc behavior.

fwiw, other than being in the accelerated (nerd) classes, I was one of the "cool" kids. Football, wrestling, plenty of beer parties, wide social circle, whatever is supposed to be cool. I had a master key that unlocked any door in the high school; there were no security cameras back then. I also had a horny gf and we would often during lunch find an empty back room to unlock and have sex in the school. Like the humor columnist Dave Barry says, 'I swear that I am not making this up.' Later on in college, girls still came easy. I never had to try to learn anything about women. I married one of my college gfs and had an ok marriage that eventually ended in a divorce that was miserable for me. All those years of not having to work on my game with women came back to bite me, and I had to study hard to catch up. It will be the same with the "cool" guys you know in high school. No woman really respects an afc, no matter how cool other guys might think he is. Like Sinjester said in a post above, 'don't ever drop your study.' Similar to anything else in life, with women, you get out of it what you put into it.

 

[tang]

I'd go with do what you enjoy most. (and what your morals tell you also). One thing I have come to realise is that you have to strike the balance between studying and your social life in high school in the same way as you will have to balance your social life and career later in life. Some people will go too far towards their social life while they are young and have a terrible career and probably socialise with likeminded people. Others may sacrifice their social lives now and not make the most of youth. Later in life social skills wont neccessarily be a problem for the academic, because they will be working and studying with likeminded academics throughout their lives, would you not agree that if you are intelligent in the long term the ability to hook up with a less intelligent girl is less important, instead you will be mixing with simiarly minded females who chose to study aswell.

One thing about studying hard is that if you find you have to sacrifice everything to do well now you will get into the highest university open to you and from there into the most highly qualified job you are capable of. At no point doing this will you ever be able to let up and you will be working that hard for a long time, while challenging yourself is obviously a good thing, and making the most of your abilities is to be encouraged, if you have to sacrifice large areas of your life for your career or for social circles you are not making the most of the hand with which you have been dealt.

Balance everything, make the most of every situation and stick to your guns.

I apologise for the lack of full stops, i talk like that aswell sometimes.

 

[collalife]

its simple

high school social life is to build a network of friends and develop your social skills. i.e. flirting,****y funny, meeting people, basic conversation. These skills help you branch out into the real world. high school also teaches you how to deal with girls, by developing social circles with them you learn about their interests, how they talk, and how to get their attention.

people tend to say that it doesnt matter just study hard and become a doctor or lawyer or something. Thats all good but you will be a lonely guy studying in high school who ends up making bucks but jacking off crying over girls. there needs to be a balance, meet girls and network but keep your studies in mind. At least maintain a b average and talk to every person you can in high school and develop tight bonds outside of school.(these bonds can help you get jobs, careers, into schools,fraternities, and etc)

ULTIMAtELY balance them both out, stay focused on grades and social life. Grades first because you dont wanna be that cool drop-out who was somebody in high school but a nobody in life. :crackup: