social life - > friends

[altek]

im pretty sure this has been discussed before but heres the story:

gr9/10/11 -> no social life, little friends
gr12 -> learnt alot about seduction - > wanting a better social life, even less friends -> rafc's not fun to be around

and Its really hard for me to get a social life all ofa sudden, its the last year, everyone has their own little clique and you cant really join a clique, i am in clubs, but yea people in it are mere acquaintances, and dont talk to you after, say when the meeting is over.

What is the best way to make actual friends that chill with you on weekends, which in turn will get my social life rolling...and will make me more happy.

 

[wcknightjr]

*shakes head*

The only reason you don't have as many friends as you want is because you obviously deep down don't want more friends, else you would be doing things to achieve your "goal". i.e. talking with members of your clubs, being friendly to classmates, etc., etc., etc.

People will only want to be around you if you're someone who's cool to be around, or at least someone who's not hopelessly anti-social.

 

[altek]

Um i do want more friends, and um i have been trying to make them, but i wasnt that successful, thats why i posted this, and if not more friends, quality friends.

"Cool to be around" - I am sort of portayed as anti social/not that cool PROBABLY because thats how i was before but i am not like that anymore.

If i really didnt want more friends, i wouldnt waste my time typing all this up...

 

[DJBen]

You want it, but you wont put the effort in,

Have you been talking to strangers? Making funny comments to people around shops?

EVERYBODY can get *loads* of friends if they want to. It's all about applying yourself and working for what you want.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Originally posted by altek
Um i do want more friends, and um i have been trying to make them, but i wasnt that successful, thats why i posted this, and if not more friends, quality friends.

"Cool to be around" - I am sort of portayed as anti social/not that cool PROBABLY because thats how i was before but i am not like that anymore.

If i really didnt want more friends, i wouldnt waste my time typing all this up...

If youre not like that anymore show everyone that. Make them have fun when youre around.

 

[wcknightjr]

Originally posted by DJBen
You want it, but you wont put the effort in.

EXACTLY what I was trying to say, thank you

 

[altek]

Ok dont want this to be a personal flame war, but tell how i am not applying myself...

I am in clubs, i socialize with everyone in it, i socialize with people outside of clubs --

 

[JSH]

Just randomly talk to people everywhere, all over the quad, get known as the person who knows everyone. What is it with insularity and American schools, maybe thats just America for you.

 

[ReAwakened]

i feel u dude. ive been in the same damn situation for a lot of the year. everyone new me as the shy kid who wasnt very fun around. now ive changed, ive changed a lot. i talk to people all the time who i dont know, and try to joke around with anyone who seems to have a cool personality. but still the clicks at my school are so strong and i feel that my past connections with certain people in certain clicks will make it difficult for me to try and get within their social circle. i hate how some people still view me like my old ways and dont give me a chance. it really does suck when u have no clue what ur gonna do with ur weekends and ur girlfriend isnt always gonna be there to give u company. infact mine is busy with life/sports that we dont get much time, but i see that as a benefit to me to try and push me to try harder to make myself a new life instead of rely on her. ive learnd that its a terrible thing to rely on 1 person to have a fun time with, cuz if they cant be there for u it can get pretty sad.

ive been getting closer to the people that i want to hang out with, but it usually comes down to me calling them on the weekends hoping there not doing anything, and they usually are. another thing ive learnd is i gotta start planning things on the weekdays with people for the weekends instead of calling many people on weekends hoping 1 is free. i just feel ackward doing that though sometimes, mainly cuz i feel like i dont know them well enough and it makes me feel like im coming off as desperate.

I do have my base friends that i can probably hang out with anytime i want cuz i feel close to them, but there are only 3 and i dont feel like i connect with them as well as id like to. it doesnt help that they live kinda far away as well. i also need some help with expanding my social life cuz its becoming very annoying feeling kinda lonely on weekends. i wont ever go back to my old ways, but i cant seem to get my social life to fit how i am now. some advice on how/where to meet people from other schools would be nice to here, or anyone else who has been in our situations with advice. trust me we've been trying its not that we havent put effort into it.

 

[idiot_boyfriend]

Originally posted by altek
I am in clubs, i socialize with everyone in it, i socialize with people outside of clubs --

Are you getting a positive reception when talking to other kids?

I'm starting to think that your conversation is the problem. Don't talk about boring subjects. Crack jokes, talk about fun things (sports, tv, movies, etc.), or instead of starting convo, just build on whatever they are talking about. Making friends is easy, only if they are the kind of people that enjoy your presense. Don't just go out there, trying to fit in and join a clique....find people that share your interests....that will be a better start to your ultimate goal of being popular.

Unfortunately, looks play a large role in meeting people. Hopefully, this isn't the case at your school.

 

[Limitless]

lol...listen to me...this is going to sound dumb

do you dress like the cool kids you want to hang out with?
do you?
if you dont , well thats your problem..sorry but ppl tend to hang out with ppl which emulate eachother.

 

[Mr. Debonaire]

Originally posted by Limitless
ppl tend to hang out with ppl which emulate eachother.

no man
don't become a follower. be different. stand out in the crowd. you do have to be more interesting to be around, jokes and such, but don't do the sheep thing

 

[Tempest]

Altek,

Okay, this is what you do. Join either Nexopia.com, buddypic.com, or something similar. Find attractive girls to talk to... interesting girls. Actually, they don't even have to be attractive. Just MEET people. Talk to them... make use of your DJ skills that you've deveoped from visiting this website. Get them on the phone. Meet them in person. Do this, even if you're interested in just being friends with them. If you can build an attraction with them, they will want to be around you. If you seem cool enough to just be friends with them, than that's OK too. You now have a new friend. Either date her or just hang out with her. Meet her friends. Hang out with her and her friends... get her friends' e-mails and MSN addresses and you can develop friendships with them. Once you've done that, you will be invited to parties with those groups of people or be introduced to even more friends.

Repeat this and your social circle will expand more, and more and more.

I was like you in HS and didn't have that many friends. I have a good group of friends right now which I hang out with from highschool. One thing that has helped me recently is my job. I work with cool guys my age and we all have eachother's MSN's and have fun at work together.

Another thing is work on your conversation. Be more interesting and people will want to hang out with you and talk to you. You also have to take initiative. There is nothing wrong with asking for another guys MSN or AIM. It's totally natural these days. Just say "hey man, do you have MSN? awesome, what is it?" Simple. Once you and that other person have figured out something you have in common or enjoy doing, then you can invite him to do something with you. It's important that you become a leader, not a follower. Take charge... be the guy that makes the plans and is in control. I'm always the guy that gets the group of guys together to go see a movie Saturday night.

Hope this helps.

 

[diceroll]

Altek, I'm in the situation which almost you described perfectly....

[H.S. Senior, breaking out of his shell]

What I'm grappling with, is actually asking the classmates - hey, what are you doing this weekend ? Wanna hang out and [insert activity here] and/or look for girls ?

make the initiative to make plans for the weekends on the weekdays...
if you have a cell phone, Trade numbers with as many peeps [boys and girls] as possible.


If you have any q's/comments,

just pm/email me.


_diceroll_