Social classes and dating

[Fingerling]

Hey eveyone,

what do people think of dating in a lower social class. I'm from a middle class background and my girlfriend is from lower class council estate.

Just bought a house me an my family put a 25% deposit down an my girlfriends family didn't put a penny in. This isn't the issue. The issue is that the house needs refurbishing and for 3 months me an my parents have worked everyday to help finish the house so it's livable while hers have done f all.

I've never come across people like this put I can see the lower have different work ethics and are plain lazy with no motivation to work harder to better themselves to get out of slums. It sort of rubs off on my girlfriend but I'm trying to snap it out of her I.e she gets up late makes excuses for not helping or leaving early.with what seem little respect after buying us a house.

Just to add she will drop the hint of marrage to which I reply
" I can offer you more than u can offer me so when you prove your good enough I may consider it"
it just seems to be the men trying to prove they are good enough when it should be the women. Am I right?

Anyone else come across this.

Ps it was written into the deeds of the house that my girlfriend only owns 20% of the house if we split up. Covering my bum

thanks

 

[Warrior74]

Hey eveyone,

what do people think of dating in a lower social class. I'm from a middle class background and my girlfriend is from lower class council estate.

Just bought a house me an my family put a 25% deposit down an my girlfriends family didn't put a penny in. This isn't the issue. The issue is that the house needs refurbishing and for 3 months me an my parents have worked everyday to help finish the house so it's livable while hers have done f all.

I've never come across people like this put I can see the lower have different work ethics and are plain lazy with no motivation to work harder to better themselves to get out of slums. It sort of rubs off on my girlfriend but I'm trying to snap it out of her I.e she gets up late makes excuses for not helping or leaving early.with what seem little respect after buying us a house.

Just to add she will drop the hint of marrage to which I reply
" I can offer you more than u can offer me so when you prove your good enough I may consider it"
it just seems to be the men trying to prove they are good enough when it should be the women. Am I right?

Anyone else come across this.

Ps it was written into the deeds of the house that my girlfriend only owns 20% of the house if we split up. Covering my bum

thanks

Prepare to get ripped a new arsehole mate. See the parts in bold. Remember them as SS bends you over. Good luck.

 

[iqqi]

I am confused as to why you bought a house with someone who is just your girlfriend.

It was hard for me to decide which part of that phrase to bolden/italicize/underline. The "with someone" and "just your girlfriend" parts are also very important. Probably moreso.

 

[Kailex]

It sort of rubs off on my girlfriend but I'm trying to snap it out of her I.e she gets up late makes excuses for not helping or leaving early.with what seem little respect after buying us a house.

Snap her out of it?
Are you kidding me?
She's not caught in a "dream world" from which you can just "wake her up". She's lived that way ALL of her life, she's not going to "snap out of it". That's the way she is. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but she's ALWAYS going to be like this...

Wait... correction, she's going to be like this until you two get married and then it's going to get WORSE.

If you think it's bad now, it's only going to magnify the situation once she has you locked in.

Just to add she will drop the hint of marrage to which I reply
" I can offer you more than u can offer me so when you prove your good enough I may consider it"
it just seems to be the men trying to prove they are good enough when it should be the women. Am I right?

Anyone else come across this.

I did, and I dumped her. She's NOT going to change. I convinced myself for a while that she could "snap out of it" and it NEVER happened. Took me some time to realize, that this was the way she was for eternity.

Ps it was written into the deeds of the house that my girlfriend only owns 20% of the house if we split up. Covering my bum

And why in the BLUE HELL did you do this?
First off, why did you even buy a house with her?
Did she even put any money into it?

The only reason why you would place a stipulation of 20% is if she put in less than that, which in any case, is DUMB from the get-go.
I really hope she didn't put 0% for her side, because if she did, it'd actually be beneficial for her to break up with you in the long term. If you put in $200,000 on that house and she put nothing, guess what happens if you break up... she'll get $40,000 just for being lazy. Congratulations, you just rewarded her for doing absolutely nothing towards the house, and why should she... you've allowed this to happen.

If you knew these problems before hand why would you even consider moving in with her or contemplating buying a house? Let me guess, the sex is good... sometimes.

 

[jophil28]

If you knew these problems before hand why would you even consider moving in with her or contemplating buying a house? Let me guess, the sex is good... sometimes.

Oh, don't forget that they have "a special connection" and possibly, they are even "soulmates".
There ya go..perfect.

 

[jophil28]

Just bought a house me an my family put a 25% deposit down an my girlfriends family didn't put a penny in. This isn't the issue.

" This isn't the issue " Damn right it is.

In effect you have provided free accomodation for her in return for some pvZZy, and because of your foolishness in agreeing to give her a 20 % interest in the property ,you have also provided her with a huge incentive to wait a little while and then breakup with you. Get it?

Oh, I forgot, she loves you and you believe that her nagging you about getting married proves that .

Do you have a lawyer? You are gonna need one.

 

[backbreaker]

holy **** dude. what the hell?

a very wise man once said Quarrels often arise in marriages when the bridal gifts are excessive.

 

[bam bam]

Quick note on this most of the good stuff has been covered by the gents above... but I just want to add a side note.. Being lazy isn't a social class issue. Being lazy is family issue. There are plenty of lazy people who are in all social classes.

Lazy is a TERRIBLE trait to have in a person. Just think about all the areas lazy can be applied to an apply it to those. Dont forget my middle class friend a lazy mom is worse then not having a mom so be prepared to have damaged kids with this leech.

Besides being lazy they have no money no money isn't a low class it's a leech class.

What is it you want from this thread? Are you asking us something? Stating something you've discovered?

 

[Trader]

I am confused as to why you bought a house with someone who is just your girlfriend.

It was hard for me to decide which part of that phrase to bolden/italicize/underline. The "with someone" and "just your girlfriend" parts are also very important. Probably moreso.

I am giving the poster the benefit of the doubt and will assume him and his gf are engaged to be married.

What I am curious about is, why your parents didn't see the oddity of you forking over all the money to purchase the house, while she put in nothing yet effectively owns 20% of the house.

Again, I will assume that both you and your parents are rational, so your girl albeit lazy, has demonstrated other sterling qualities.

OP: feel free to invalidate my assumptions

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Fingerling,
The Family Law acts in the Western World go right around your agreed 20% by the time the Court has sorted it out,blind Freddy will see that she is the hard working dupe of a nasty manipulative rich bloke she will get 50% of any appreciation plus thanks to your generosity....20% of the initial Capital input....Uh thats without kids one 50%two 60%three 75%...the valuable lesson you have learned and helped others learn will remain...make sure and avoid a pregnancy.

 

[Fingerling]

Lol got me thinking.

Basically I have another house and felt like investing in another house. Her 20% is excluding the deposite put in by me and my family. So if things go wrong she will only get what she has put in.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Fingerling,
Sorry to be the bearer of sad tidings but as a de facto she will also be entitled to the same proportion of increased asset on the other home....it all goes in the pot.....you have the right idea with real estate it will come good,the bad idea is cutting someone else in.

 

[Kailex]

Lol got me thinking.

Basically I have another house and felt like investing in another house. Her 20% is excluding the deposite put in by me and my family. So if things go wrong she will only get what she has put in.

If you marry her, you'll lose a lot more than this.

I want to know what this woman is doing so WELL that she's going to have parts of two houses if you two marry.

Don't think that just because there's a "contract" stating that 20% is hers. Lawyers will and CAN find a way around it. Because of the way that contract MIGHT have been structured, it could be 50% + 20% and she might find herself out of the 20% but still with the 50%.

Are you a lawyer? Because if you aren't, don't assume that just because there is something signed saying she only gets 20% of what she puts in, that's binding and forever iron-clad. Loopholes are everywhere. And if you are a lawyer, I thought you'd know better.

But hey, if you want to find out for yourself, marry her and see how the situation deteriorates even further.

 

[vatoloco]

Danger, Will Robinson. Danger!

DO NOT GET SUCKERED INTO MARRYING THIS WOMAN. SHE AND HER FAMILY WILL SUCK YOU DRY WHEN SHE DIVORCES YOU.

Also,

Ps it was written into the deeds of the house that my girlfriend only owns 20% of the house if we split up.

What exact wording was used for "split"? As in "in the event of a divorce" or as in "in the event that our relationship is terminated"? If it's the former, it probably won't matter. She'll more than likely get 50% of your stuff. If it's the latter, well, she will make a return of several tens of thousand dollars on a $0 cash investment.

Damn, maybe I should have been a woman!

 

[Fingerling]

Thanks for all the advice and maybe I've done the wrong thing.

It's a tough situation I'm in now. Been together for 4 years ish an the past few weeks I feel she's put on weight and therefore not as attractive. I can't drop anymore hints than "you are getting a bit chubby now" but still no change.

And feel I'm looking at other women with a huge temption to go over an have a little chat like the old times.

Just general fed up with her

 

[bam bam]

find the best legal way to get her out of your life then... lol who gives her that much of your house while she puts in nothing? dam your a champ!

 

[bigjohnson]

Covering my bum

In Astroglide?

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

Thanks for all the advice and maybe I've done the wrong thing.

It's a tough situation I'm in now. Been together for 4 years ish an the past few weeks I feel she's put on weight and therefore not as attractive. I can't drop anymore hints than "you are getting a bit chubby now" but still no change.

And feel I'm looking at other women with a huge temption to go over an have a little chat like the old times.

Just general fed up with her

What I will say is based on movies and the occasional article/forum post on the Web, so it may be very wrong:
If you cheat, won't there be a greater chance that she'll get more assets if she finds out and decides to leave you? I'm thinking "she was a loving partner who took care of him all this time blabla, and he was a pig by cheating"...

Maybe you should break up with her without any incident that would put you in a bad light.

But what do I know?

 

[Kailex]

Thanks for all the advice and maybe I've done the wrong thing.

It's a tough situation I'm in now. Been together for 4 years ish an the past few weeks I feel she's put on weight and therefore not as attractive. I can't drop anymore hints than "you are getting a bit chubby now" but still no change.

And feel I'm looking at other women with a huge temption to go over an have a little chat like the old times.

Just general fed up with her

Again... DO NOT MARRY HER. NO MATTER WHAT.

She's putting on weight because you went and bought a house, as well as probably other things. She feels she has invested enough time in you to warrant "relaxing". She'll keep piling on the weight too and soon cut her hair shorter.

She doesn't care about hints, she thinks she has you.

Personally, I'd rather lose the 20% over a house than continue on in a relationship just because you've been in it for 4 years. You are NOW seeing her true colors.

She's gotten comfortable. Half of it is your fault. Half of it is hers.
Honestly, again, I would rather lose a 20% than continue on in that relation****.

 

[Slickster]

While you are busting your ass fixing your place up maybe you should find some "hidden fault" with the house. Tell her it's going to cost a ton of money and work in the long run to fix and you want to sell the house and look for some thing else together. Keep the relationship going until the house sells.

Once it sells bail out of this bad relationship.


Even if you have to sell at a slight loss you will be way ahead in the long run financially, emotionally, mentally, etc. GET THE FVCK OUT!!