Social Circle and Men

HaleyBaron

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I have been interested in social circle dynamics recently and been reading through some things. I came upon an article from girlschase, a site I am surprised I never ran into. Anyway, the person here has some good ideas about navigating a social circle, some we all have shared already in previous threads. Link is below.

However, he generalizes that making the women happy in a social circle is all you need yet I feel this is only halfway. The other half is navigating the males of the group. For those who have been in these dynamics before, it does not matter how many women like you but if there are any envious or competing men, especially if they have some status or they are the boyfriend of one of the girls, he will attempt to check you if not oust you from the group by any means necessary. This is very true since men tend to set up parties and gatherings or hold the money supply for setting up events. In that, it is not just about entertaining the women, you have to be in good with the men, too. And men like to have **** contests constantly to appear higher to the woman. People like us are in danger in social circles cause we have an abundance mindset and do not need the leverage of a social circle. This may make us appear apathetic or even creepy. So you have to do your best to make some value, though it's not a guarantee it cements your position. Nonetheless it feels like you have to play the game and put in some work in pretending to want something from the circle, which is the hard part.

 

kavi

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If you have skills the other men in the group wont know that you are talking to the girl. When in a social group, especially a new one, a guy cannot just hit on the girls infront of the established guys who dont know him. When I enter a social group if I hit on girls it is covert until I am established in the group.

If a guy thinks he can enter a social group and get laid with the girls and move on to others that probably wont happen in any group im in.
 

Solomon

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If your plan is to go into a social circle and to smash all the hot girls, you won't last there long. Most social circles tend to have established(and hieracy unless you building one from scratch) couples sometimes with a rotating group of singles depending on the social circle of course. Politics, petty gossip and superficiality tend to be quite common in social circles where women are involved (especially if you dealing with a social circle that has money get ready for vain flexing). IMO you should befriend a social circle because you sincerely enjoy being around those people not because you trying to bang. Trust I've been in a social circle with hot chicks and rich men and it was fake AF. I don't consider someone a friend who will smile in my face and talk shyt behind my back and it happened in that one a lot and I walked away

Regarding the first story in the article. It's not a social circle it was a dancing class, the guy's mistake was smashing the milf right away and not holding out for the hottie which is a common mistake. Had he been patient he could have got the hot college chick. Women talk in social circles, about everything yes everything. From your ability to kiss and to if you were a 2 pump chump.
 

Bingo-Player

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. I don't consider someone a friend who will smile in my face and talk shyt behind my back and it happened in that one a lot and I walked away
This is a common theme among all social circles not just elite ones , peoples lives are generally boring and gossiping within a social circle brings entertainment and drama

there's a couple of guys I chat too in the gym its a become a bit of a social circle but very very casual

Even they have started b1tching about each other

You have to remember most humans who buy into western capitalist economies become ultra competitive

Who has the best life , the best partner , the most money , the biggest house

not EVERYONE is like this but it only takes a couple to start corrupting social circles

Humans are very very easily lead

I find western societies and social circles to be very very hollow
 

kavi

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These social circles can be made much better if there is one guy who is the most alpha who all the women like and respect, he will have the respect of the girls and therefore the rest of the circle, whether knowingly or unknowingly can be controlled and kept in check, as the men will defer to the women who will defer to the leading man.

The leading man is not often recongised by other men in the group, but he will be recognised by the women if the runs game on them. So he has to run Game game on multiple women.

It doesnt have to go to polygamy but it can just be a case of all the women respecting this one guy. For that the leading guy will have to put in some work and ofcourse he will want something in exchange which will be power in the group.

As mentioned above, most of society esp men are so weak and beta they can easily be controlled inclusing the gossiping b!tching stuff that leads to instability can be controlled and the key is having that one guy who all the women respect which must come from Game.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

SW15

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If your plan is to go into a social circle and to smash all the hot girls, you won't last there long.
Social circle game is not a quantity play. It's a play more for frequency of sex in a given period of time. Social circle game is best for men trying to find an extended girlfriend and perhaps she'll be in the cute/hot range (6+). That depends on the social circle.

Social circle is great for getting a girlfriend. Pay close attention to the words "a girlfriend". That means one girlfriend. If you're looking for an extended relationship (2-5 years or more), your best bet for getting that with the least amount of grief and frustration is social circle. Many men who get social circle girlfriends tend to retain those girlfriends for a long time and often beyond the useful life of the relationship. A lot of the social circle girlfriend guys are beta males and beta males operate from a scarcity mindset. It's common to see a 10 year+ relationship from social circle which does lead to a marriage proposal.

Social circle introductions are the best option for a normie range guy. Most men are normie range.

For men with social circles, the problem with the social circle method eventually becomes sustainability as social circles get pissed at men who continually exchange girlfriends, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-4 years). The behavior described in the last sentence is serial monogamy, so it is accurate to say that social circles get pissed off at serial monogamists. It is important to remember that social circles generally have a blue pill viewpoint on romantic relationships. A man might be able to pull 2 LTRs from a social circle without marrying one. After 2 instances, he will have typically bled the social circle dry. This is known as "poisoning the well".

When the paragraph above starts applying to men, they will either need to have stranger approaching skills, or they need to start developing them.

The men who tend to have the best social circles are men who have had the least amount of relocations lifetime. Staying in the same area throughout the entirety of childhood and remaining in that same area as an adult is very helpful, so long as the man has at least average range looks and average range social skills. Men can thank a parent or both parents for not relocating them during childhood as it tends to weaken social circles in general.

For men that have relocations in their lives, it becomes more complicated. It's possible to develop social circles if you move to a new location immediately after finishing school (often college). For college attendees/graduates, this typically occurs at ages 22-26. There are a lot of people in the same life circumstances and those people can come together and form social circles often through apartments, co-ed sports leagues, workplaces, or other hobby type groups.

If you're moving to a new location around age 27-30, it starts to become even more difficult to form social circles. You're likely to make friends at this age, but having friends and having a social circle capable of providing introductions aren't the same thing. It's even more difficult at age 31+ when more people are married off and are focused on conceptions and raising children. Even though Millennials are getting married less than previous generations, the typical Millennial is still getting married and having babies. The typical Millennial is only having something like .3-.5 fewer children than some predecessor generations, but that .3-.5 added up over multiple millions of people is meaningful. On an individual level, it's the difference between 30s/early 40s people in 2023 having 1-2 children as compared to 30s/early 40s people in the 1980s-early 2000s having 2-3 children.
 

SW15

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If you're moving to a new location around age 27-30, it starts to become even more difficult to form social circles. You're likely to make friends at this age, but having friends and having a social circle capable of providing introductions aren't the same thing. It's even more difficult at age 31+ when more people are married off and are focused on conceptions and raising children.
If you are relying on social circle game past the age of 27, you are screwed!
It seems like we have similar viewpoints. Why do you think social circle game isn't feasible past the age of 27?
 

Millard Fillmore

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People like us are in danger in social circles cause we have an abundance mindset and do not need the leverage of a social circle. This may make us appear apathetic or even creepy. So you have to do your best to make some value, though it's not a guarantee it cements your position. Nonetheless it feels like you have to play the game and put in some work in pretending to want something from the circle, which is the hard part.
I agree with the part about abundance mindset. I don't really go into social settings thinking "what am I going to get out of this." I just go and do my sh*t and enjoy myself. Don't care if people like me or not. Probably the big difference is enjoying one's self - people who are uncomfortable will come across as awkward and antisocial. People are drawn to good vibes. That's my experience anyway.
 

CornbreadFed

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It seems like we have similar viewpoints. Why do you think social circle game isn't feasible past the age of 27?
You are better off searching for one of those 30s-50s bachelor men type social circles or joining a group like @Jesse Pinkman did at this point.

1). Naturally, people just start becoming more closed off at this age because it becomes harder to deal with a lot friends. They start trimming the fat off of their own friend group and doubling down on the relationships with their closer friends. As a result, a person with friends right now is going to be extremely reluctant to add another friend in to his mental energy capacity unless that person brings some value in to the friendship. The drink bro friendships come to an end at this age.

2). If you are in a current social circle at a similar age, this is when the light starts to fade. Most of the high-quality women are in relationships or marriages by now. The ones that are still single past 27 are single for a reason. The new additions to the group are now married couples, the new boyfriend/girlfriend of someone in the social circle, or female coworkers that tend to already have a boyfriend lol. Single men with thrill of the hunt type vibes are usually excluded from social circles at this point. Essentially, a social circle after the age of 27 is just a marriage/LTR club.

3). You will be considered the old man of the group if you join a younger one. The older guys in these younger twenties social circles are 9 times out of 10 providing something of value to the group that the younger ones cannot provide. This can be a house for parties, drugs, entertainment, and etc. I could see the older guy banging the younger girls in a non-college degree social circle, but I have seen the opposite in your typical yuppie MAA one. Usually, he is dating girls his age that live in the complex or the fattie leftovers. If you are going to just join a younger social circle, you are much better off joining a social circle full of non-degree holding people if you simply want to get laid. However, this will more than likely harm or stagnant your social & economic mobility if you choose to do this.
 

SW15

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You are better off searching for one of those 30s-50s bachelor men type social circles
I would be glad to join one of these but haven't found one.

people just start becoming more closed off at this age....They start trimming the fat off of their own friend group and doubling down on the relationships with their closer friends. The drink bro friendships come to an end at this age.
I see truth in this. Although this starts prior to marriages with more serious LTRs, this accelerates when children are born. Social circle members tend to get wrapped up in the various infants and toddlers once they are born. It's also common for social circle members to have children around the same time, as I mentioned in the main thread about my primary social circle.


The new additions to the group are now married couples, the new boyfriend/girlfriend of someone in the social circle, or female coworkers that tend to already have a boyfriend lol. Single men with thrill of the hunt type vibes are usually excluded from social circles at this point. Essentially, a social circle after the age of 27 is just a marriage/LTR club.
Yes, when most members of a social circle get past the age of 27, the primary social circle does often become a marriage/LTR club.

This puts unattached men and marginally attached men in a difficult position. They often find themselves getting pushed further to the fringes of a primary social group.

You will be considered the old man of the group if you join a younger one.....I could see the older guy banging the younger girls in a non-college degree social circle, but I have seen the opposite in your typical yuppie MAA one. Usually, he is dating girls his age that live in the complex or the fattie leftovers. If you are going to just join a younger social circle, you are much better off joining a social circle full of non-degree holding people if you simply want to get laid. However, this will more than likely harm or stagnant your social & economic mobility if you choose to do this.
Your assessment here is very close to what actually happened to me in my primary social group that formed in the early 2010s. It was a typical yuppie, MAA (apartment corporate entity) type social circle. Everyone had a bachelor's degree or higher.

I was 28-29 when I formed a social circle with primarily 22-25 year olds who were recent graduates. I was the old man of the group.

Although I made some efforts to date women that came into the general social realm of this primary group, I ended up doing my dating outside of the primary group. I didn't date any fattie leftovers and I have also made it a rule not to date within my own apartment complex. There were instances of social circle formed couples with the general group. In these instances, multiple men within the group were competing for the same woman, who was typically in the 5.5 - 6.5 range of looks. Not bad, but not great either.

I have a few side friends that aren't a part of this primary group. That's good, as these "side" friends are now playing a larger role in social life as the primary group I was part of in the early to mid 2010s pushes me further into the fringes of the group.

There have been times when I've wondered if I would have been better off being in a social circle with non-degree holders (those with high school diplomas/GEDs and associate level trade certifications).
 

Hamurabimbi

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I have been interested in social circle dynamics recently and been reading through some things. I came upon an article from girlschase, a site I am surprised I never ran into. Anyway, the person here has some good ideas about navigating a social circle, some we all have shared already in previous threads. Link is below.

However, he generalizes that making the women happy in a social circle is all you need yet I feel this is only halfway. The other half is navigating the males of the group. For those who have been in these dynamics before, it does not matter how many women like you but if there are any envious or competing men, especially if they have some status or they are the boyfriend of one of the girls, he will attempt to check you if not oust you from the group by any means necessary. This is very true since men tend to set up parties and gatherings or hold the money supply for setting up events. In that, it is not just about entertaining the women, you have to be in good with the men, too. And men like to have **** contests constantly to appear higher to the woman. People like us are in danger in social circles cause we have an abundance mindset and do not need the leverage of a social circle. This may make us appear apathetic or even creepy. So you have to do your best to make some value, though it's not a guarantee it cements your position. Nonetheless it feels like you have to play the game and put in some work in pretending to want something from the circle, which is the hard part.

my experience with Social Circles is women choose. And they’ve already made their mind up. And. Often. They’re quite direct.
 

HaleyBaron

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my experience with Social Circles is women choose. And they’ve already made their mind up. And. Often. They’re quite direct.
I noticed that, too. I'm constantly flirted with by girls who are coupled with the guys in the group. I do my best to never return any kind of physical or possible sexual contact. I mostly do this to try to keep trust with the men that I won't be poaching their women. Yet I suspect that no matter what I am losing trust with said men cause I am better than them and both they and the women know it. So I have seen attempts to "exclude me". Envy is a funny thing.

I agree with the part about abundance mindset. I don't really go into social settings thinking "what am I going to get out of this." I just go and do my sh*t and enjoy myself. Don't care if people like me or not. Probably the big difference is enjoying one's self - people who are uncomfortable will come across as awkward and antisocial. People are drawn to good vibes. That's my experience anyway.
This works for me, too. But you will sometimes get that men who feel threatened by your presence. Especially if you are single. Makes me suspect that having a girl just around me may be the solution for social proof of not being a wolf in sheep's clothing.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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If I hit on women in a social circle, I bring a female friend along.
Guys often don't think a man will hit on their women when the man's girlfriend is right there in the room.
And the women consider the female friend social proof, since she's obviously comfortable around me, so the women have no barriers to talk with me.
 

CornbreadFed

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If I hit on women in a social circle, I bring a female friend along.
Guys often don't think a man will hit on their women when the man's girlfriend is right there in the room.
And the women consider the female friend social proof, since she's obviously comfortable around me, so the women have no barriers to talk with me.
I saw a guy with his wife in the same room try and touch my GF inappropriately at a party, but he stopped himself. Otherwise, there would have been hell lol.
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

AmsterdamAssassin

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I saw a guy with his wife in the same room try and touch my GF inappropriately at a party, but he stopped himself. Otherwise, there would have been hell lol.
He just had to make sure she put away his phone number for their secret trysts. :zip:
 

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HaleyBaron

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Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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