Social anxitey

[ersit]

My first two years in college I spent mostly in my own little shell. Very few friends, very little socializing, whatever. I read up on a lot of stuff here and elsewhere about pick up, but never put any of it into action.

I study abroad last year, and I decided that I wasn't going to be the social hermit any more, and I mostly succeeded. I had a great time, made tons of friends, and ended up dating a very attractive, very sweet girl.

I get back to the states, and right before I go back to school, I decided that I don't want to try and force a long distance relationship at this point in my life with the girl, she agrees, and we break up on good terms.

I show back up on campus and all of the skills I seem to have developed over the past year are gone. Just walking around campus, being around tons of people, I feel TONS of anxiety. I know I have the skills, but I just freeze up whenever I'm in a situation with a lot of people.

I loved having a big social circle, but now I'm back to only a couple friends and feeling like I'm missing out on a great experience because of my anxiety. I know I'm an interesting person to talk to and be around, I know I'm not hideously ugly, but the anxiety makes me question myself and kills my confidence. I've been trying to stay on campus and be around those other people, even if I'm just sitting by myself and reading a book, just to try and condition myself to the atmosphere. However, other than that, I can't really think of anything.

Thoughts?

 

[ersit]

Some views, no responses. Where is my issue really and what can I do to fix it?

 

[ketostix]

I don't think anyone can tell you what is the issue that cause social anxiety. All I've heard as fix is to force yourself to be immersed around people and the anxiey should decrease. And you can take take certain types of anti-depressant that help SA. I wouldn't do that though.

What was diferent when you were abroad? Is something different here that triggers your SA?

 

[Last Man Standing]

"Social Anxiety" is just a term scientifically labeled to sell you drugs!! The matrix is real but an illusion!

Put your pills down - I'll tell you what is wrong - it is that you are self conscious!!! yep, your worst enemy s your mind and how you perceive yourself!!

 

[ersit]

I've been on pills for depression and ADD before, I think of those as absolute last resorts.

When studying abroad, there was the language barrier between me and the locals, but not with the group. That seemed to give us something in common. I got to know all of them. For the locals/people with which the language barrier existed, my only anxiety was with the language itself. Expectations of me to speak properly weren't high, so it wasn't a big deal after a while.

I somehow feel like expectations of me are higher here. I don't have a lot of friends here, I don't go to the big parties, and I'm probably not going to randomly run into a group of people that I know while walking around campus. Integrating myself into the social community here seems a lot different.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Social Anxiety is just a term scientifically labeled to sell you drugs!! The matrix is real but an illusion!

Put your pills down - I'll tell you what is wrong - it is that you are self conscious!!! yep, your worst enemy s your mind and how you perceive yourself!!

So what is it that you seek from us? Say "No" to drugs!!

 

[ersit]

I want to bring back the self I had 6 months ago, when I was comfortable socially no matter what setting I was in. It's there somewhere, I just don't know how to bring it back.

 

[MooseGod]

It's not you, man, it's American society. Everybody's too busy staring at the ground listening to their Ipods or texting on their phone...

 

[Mad Manic]

It's not you, man, it's American society. Everybody's too busy staring at the ground listening to their Ipods or texting on their phone...

Agreed, it's very shallow and fake on the whole, so the OP shouldn't beat himself up about it. Western people aren't renowned for sociability and friendliness; high depression and divorce rates, sure. But learn to deal with the enviornment and try to get along well with those people, for yourself.