so whats the point of no contact?

[garruk]

so im currently in the process of no contact with a plate, just trying to get out of oneitis (even though we're still seeing eachother).

and im wondering: whats the point of this again?

i see
a) makes me less needy
b) ... thats it right?

 

[Tyson420]

There`s no point if she`s not interested.

 

[luckster]

so im currently in the process of no contact with a plate, just trying to get out of oneitis (even though we're still seeing eachother).

and im wondering: whats the point of this again?

i see
a) makes me less needy
b) ... thats it right?

Depends on what you are trying to accomplish.

1. Trying to get over her? No contact.
2. Trying to lay her/make her think of you? No contact.
3. I'm sure there's more...

If you are asking how it works, it shows that she doesn't NEED to be in your life for you to enjoy it. If you keep contacting her, you are inadvertently (or maybe very explicitly?) exuding sings that you need communication from this person to be happy.

On the note of personal advancement, it is supposed keep you leveled. It is suppose to help you stop making her your life and rather fill your free time with other productive things (hobbies, work, other women, pursuit of life goals, etc).

This is how I use "no contact."

Also take into consideration:

There`s no point if she`s not interested.

If she is not interested, point 2 becomes irrelevant.

 

[st_99]

NC is an old, simple, tried and true method. Its a safe course of action when everything is going wrong. You can't do anything wrong when going NC.

No interest, some interest, a lot of interest, you f'd up and have to fix it, interest level declining, etc... it doesn't matter. NC can never hurt you only help you.

At worst its a wash, meaning she doesn't care which means no matter what you do, it doesn't matter. At best, she freaks out and comes banging down your door. Usually, something in between happens.

 

[Johnny_Kage]

Generally, I only "no contact" a girl if I legitimately don't care whether or not she's in my life for whatever reason.

No interest, some interest, a lot of interest, you f'd up and have to fix it, interest level declining, etc

Yes, this would be a good reason to not contact the girl. Why waste your time on a girl that isn't interested when there are plenty more out there that will be interested?

Either way, there is no denying that it works. If any relationship is built with the girl at all, she WILL contact you after a while.

 

[Gray The Prince]

Join date- June 2008

You can't be serious dude...

 

[Jitterbug]

Emotional discipline.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

stop caring about the b1tch

 

[Maxtro]

The point of no contact is to help you get over somebody.

 

[The_411]

No contact is to address an emotional addicition and to refrain from enmeshing yourself in a situation where the outcomes are almost if not all bad and detrimental to your growth.

The point is that the other person is being disrspectful and/or /heshe is poisonous/toxic.

 

[PDubb75]

No contact is to address an emotional addicition and to refrain from enmeshing yourself in a situation where the outcomes are almost if not all bad and detrimental to your growth.

The point is that the other person is being disrspectful and/or /heshe is poisonous/toxic.

Exactly. Why do people think NC is used as a way to get someone to like you? That's not what it is...

EDIT: The_411.. tried to rep you, but I guess I did recently. I'll getcha later.

 

[garruk]

Exactly. Why do people think NC is used as a way to get someone to like you? That's not what it is...

EDIT: The_411.. tried to rep you, but I guess I did recently. I'll getcha later.

yeah this is where the confusion comes from, because i see people talk about using no contact as a way to get a girl to come back to them.

and i was thinking about it, and i have no idea how that is supposed to work.

 

[PDubb75]

yeah this is where the confusion comes from, because i see people talk about using no contact as a way to get a girl to come back to them.

and i was thinking about it, and i have no idea how that is supposed to work.

Right, it really doesn't. I mean sure, you will have cases where it does "work", but that isn't the purpose of it. The thinking is that by looking less needy, as if you have other options, don't need her, etc she will become more open to the idea of being with you.

Sounds insane to me. I feel it's an extremist viewpoint based off of the ideas of "indifference" and "mystery".

No contact is to address an emotional addicition and to refrain from enmeshing yourself in a situation where the outcomes are almost if not all bad and detrimental to your growth.

The point is that the other person is being disrspectful and/or /heshe is poisonous/toxic.

^^ Best definition of it I've heard so far.

 

[TheJazz]

I only use "no contact" with a bird when she's disrespectful, like The_411 said (+rep, brothar!). The thing is, men don't know how to be men. What usually happens with guys is this: they see a girl, they like a girl, they pursue a girl. The girl eventually notices them, and if they've got their stuff together, the girl begins to like them. And here's where guys screw up. There's two different ways guys fail when they get the girl interested.

1) They go "No Contact" to get her MORE interested. Do you honestly not see how stupid that is? and 2) They go overboard with contact and start to look needy. Both situations end badly. Most guys need to realize that they got the girl interested in the first place by being themselves! Keep doing what you're doing man!

You can't really blame a guy for falling under option 2 mentioned above and going overboard with contact though, he just scored! He's excited! Most guys usually do this. I've been victim to this myself. When this happens, the women start to develop an evil sense of superiority. "Oh this guy really likes me a lot teehee!! Let's see what I can get away with!" ...and the disrespect begins. This is what most PUAs confuse with what they call "shit tests". They're not tests. Us men give women this false sense of superiority, we're to blame!

And here's where the real men shine through. A real man would obviously not accept any disrespect from a woman. For goodness' sake, she's a WOMAN! Which brings me back to the beginning of this post (funny how that worked out!): No contact is used to punish disrespect. If she doesn't respect you, she's not worthy of your attention and affection. It's something that's earned. I think it was Pook that put it so perfectly. "For if you stand for nothing, you shall fall for everything!"

 

[8ball]

You can't do anything wrong when going NC.

Absolute nugget of wisdom right there! :yes:

 

[Aaron B]

"no contact" protects your weak-ass from being preyed upon by a woman who is out to use and abuse you

because if you knew what the **** you were doing, you wouldn't need to break off contact with her

this is all about having respect for yourself and standing up and saying NO! to her ****ty attitude and treatment

she has to earn your time and attention. i can already tell you are ****ed in the head because your focus is on her instead of yourself

"no contact" isn't a "process" with a desired outcome. are you really focused on one chick that much?