So... what should i do?

[Pintero]

Hi everyone. As you may know, I recently joined, and I've been reading "The Principles of Social Competence" from the Manhood Academy and I actually feel myself re-awakening, it's great. Once I move out and start working out I'm gonna be working on my RL relationships. However, at the moment, i'm taking my steps, reading what's on here, etc. So i appreciate all the advice, it really is amazing once you learn how human beings work. anyhow, without procrastinating anymore, I'm in a LDR (though we've never met >>) but I see it as the perfect opportunity to help me with this stuff. Anyhow, she's been shutting me out recently (definitely because of my AFC behavior which I have stopped) and so I initiated the NC and after 4 days, here's the message she sent me:

Hey Im sorry I havent talked to you in a while.. I feel terrible, I m just going through alot right now, im sorry for shutting you out I just dont know what to say anymore, I dont know what I want anymore, I feel like everything I thought i knew was wrong or something, i feel so miserable, but I think im starting to come out of this, I dont know why i have let myself feel this way.. but oh well it doesnt really matter anyway.. I hope you are doing good and having a good day *hugs*
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So? Any help would be appreciated. I figured she'd at least send me something like this today, I also figured I should ignore her for another week, but what do you guys say? Is she even being truthful? I really need to be able to understand what to do here as it may easily happen to me further down the road. Let us assume that she's my gf and i want her back, but on my terms. In that scenario, what would you suggest? Thanks.

 

[sighsigh]

As you may know, I recently joined, and I've been reading "The Principles of Social Competence" from the Manhood Academy and I actually feel myself re-awakening, it's great.

Wow. Are you f*cking serious? I just skimmed the first 40 pages of that document to see if it was anything worthwhile, and I find the biggest pile of misogynistic bull**** I've ever seen. Stay far, far away from that.

 

[Pintero]

Wow. Are you f*cking serious? I just skimmed the first 40 pages of that document to see if it was anything worthwhile, and I find the biggest pile of misogynistic bull**** I've ever seen. Stay far, far away from that.

Alright, why? And additionally, what would you suggest I read in replacement?

 

[Pintero]

I would do nothing.

I wouldn't respond at all to the message.

I would "go cold" on her for another week; then I would invite her out for a drink. And I would not mention a single word about her message.

Thanks for the advice. Additionally, what do I do when I talk to her again? Am I excited or neutral (I assume I should be neutral to have her trying to win me over again?) Also, what if she asks me if I still love her? What if she brings up my absence? I' so new to all this so I'm not only looking for directions but it'd really help if I knew the why's as well as the hows. Thanks again.

 

[sighsigh]

Alright, why? And additionally, what would you suggest I read in replacement?

Uh... because it's fascist drivel?

Nothing about PUA theory is theoretically misogynistic. But many of the men who are aspiring to be PUAs or who are PUAs and write PUA literature tend to have underpinnings of misogyny (for whatever reason). I just tend to ignore the misogynistic aspects when I read PUA literature, because they aren't necessary (and the justification by the authors for it has no argumentative strength whatsoever). That document was just something else though.

IMO the best document on PUA theory is The Book of Pook. It's a classic on this site.

 

[Cashew]

I would send her a message or contact on Tuesday. I wouldn't bring up or mention the message she sent at all. If she brings it up, shrug it off like it's no big deal, tell her you hope she feels better and move the subject elsewhere.

I would second the recommendation for the Book of Pook.

While I can't personally see how someone can love a person they have never actually met, I am not you. How long have you known this person and how long distance are we talking about? If she brings up your absence, say you were busy. That being said, go out and be busy. Get out and do something this weekend.

 

[Pintero]

I would send her a message or contact on Tuesday. I wouldn't bring up or mention the message she sent at all. If she brings it up, shrug it off like it's no big deal, tell her you hope she feels better and move the subject elsewhere.

I would second the recommendation for the Book of Pook.

While I can't personally see how someone can love a person they have never actually met, I am not you. How long have you known this person and how long distance are we talking about? If she brings up your absence, say you were busy. That being said, go out and be busy. Get out and do something this weekend.

Thanks, I'll look into it, I'll take all the help I can get. Have you read "The Principles of Social Competence"? The only reason I'm reading it is because I was directed to it by a user on this forum when I mentioned I was brought up by my single mom. So I dunno if that changes things >>

Anyhow, she lives in texas, I live in canada. :/ I don't really love her i don't think, I mean I'm attracted yeah, and it makes me mad to know that she's being flakey like this, but whatever, I'll get over it. I've known her since august this year, and she contacted me. It actually took a while before things got 'serious' (however serious you can be online, which isn't really serious I'm now figuring out, but we did sex over instant messanger and stuff. She also makes photos for me, but no nudes... yet ) and she was quite persistent, she bent over backwards for me at first, then because of my AFC-ness I'm assuming, she's gone cold, and has been that way for a month.

So yeah, I'm just using this as a platform if you will, but I am working towards my life. But I've got a lot on the go right now: I want to go to school, I want to start working out, I want to be free of my mom and brother (I let both of them move in with me >< AFC *slaps head*) and I want to work on my game. So it's a bit awkward to decide how to proceed, but i think my freedom should come first, schooling second, and everything else after/during that.

Incidentally, her and I used to instant message in the mornings before I went to work, so when I send her this message on tuesday, should I offer IM? Wait on IM to see if she comes on? Or not be on IM at all? And once again, thank you all.