The funeral is over. She attended the visitation and was back in a couple of hours. She tells me she has not had any additional contact with her ex nor he with her. Doesn't really matter if that is true or not as I have no way of verifying same and frankly don't care to bother.
You do care, otherwise you would not have made this thread.
I am fully aware that I am in the throws of oneitus. And it is not comfortable. I am operating in her frame.
Guys listen, stop with the Sosuave/Manosphere cartoon shyt. There's no such thing as "frame" and there's no such thing as oneitus.
- With "oneitus" what you really have is desperation, you can be with one woman and actually LOVE/CARE for one woman, without necessarily being desperate. Desperation comes from either the "actual state of" or the "perceived state of" a LACK of alternative options. If you maintain what Rollo defines as your Sexual Market Value, no matter if you are within a "loving/caring" relationship with one woman, you will find that you shouldn't develop any type of desperation because if being with this woman gets too unbareable, you will always KNOW that you have options.
- With "frame", as I said on this site before, this is another cartoon character created by Sosuave. There's no such thing as frame. What you have is a woman who either is attracted to you or NOT, based on your level of sexual market value and your current looks, personality and finances status. If she's attracted to you, then the balance of POWER in the relationship will come down to the Type A v.s. Type B type of natural personality traits of the partners. The chick you are with might be a Type A and you might be a Type B, that doesn't mean you are a BYTCH, what it means is that the woman has taken up the more "aggressive" or "dominating" role within the relationship. Unfortunately, a lot of career minded women are Type A, so in order to keep the relationship in tact, a lot of guys have to develop into a Type B.
Again, you won't read anything like this on Sosuave because people here want to promote cartoon characters instead of real life human beings.
Call it beta, call it whatever but she does control the ebb and flow of this relationship and in doing so lessens me as a man.
She's Type A and you are Type B. Now, does that make you her bytch? I don't think so. Just because a woman is Type A doesn't mean you allow her to WALK all over you, and it doesn't mean that you don't have SAY in the relationship. Just understand that getting into a relationship with a woman like this is going to be a constant POWER STRUGGLE if you both are somewhat Type A personalities. Just like if you both were Type B personalities, expect there to be a laid back "ness" to the relationship.
You are using cartoon character bullshyt from Sosuave to define your "manhood". In my opinion, a man is a male who has resources that he owns and controls. His has built some type of ship and he brings women on board that ship. Now, it might be better if you bought on Type B personality women if you are a Type A, but you can indeed be a man based on my definition and be a Type B...all you have to do is maintain the position of leadership. Not all leaders are the same. Some lead quietly (Type B), some lead loudly (Type A), and some have a combination of styles depending on the situation.
I need to try and regain control of MY life and not structure my being around her needs.
Maybe I missed this, but how is your life controlled by her though? Can you elaborate more on this? Do you stay with her and she pays your bills? Does she have SAY over your resources and assets? How again does this woman control your life?
You are dealing with a Type A personality woman, now....whether or not she's cheating on you is up in the air. Me personally, I really don't expect ANY WOMAN (even someone's wife) to be 100% faithful. Women are professional cheaters, she will be fvcking a convicted thug or fvcking a US Senator and you won't know shyt about it.
If you are going to be in a relationship with a woman, be in one where the woman respects you. Which means IF she's cheating, she doesn't give you hints or clues to catch her. She helps take care of you, she fvcks you, speaks good words to you, and is supportive of you. Also, even if she is a Type A personality, she still shows you fvcking RESPECT regardless.
That's all you can do, whether or not she's fvcking someone else, who knows. Just like when it comes to YOU, she doesn't know if you are fvcking someone else on the side either my friend.
