so what else is it that keeps relationships flowing?

[dmatter]

So ive been dating this girl and we have a great time whenever we go out. We are always laughing so hard whenever we talk in person on the phone. i always playfully tease her and lots of kssing and kino and fingered her a couple days ago. we do talk and its usually her doing most of the talking and then I add what i think or my own experiences. I dont text her alot but we do talk on the phone alot and see eachother everyday. whenever we go out its pretty spontaneous and ends up being fun. so is there anything else that can be done to maintain a long lasting relationship? or can good times and laughter be enough?

 

[DonGorgon]

STABILITY IN TERMS OF STIMULI THAT EFFECT CHANGE ON THE LIVES OF THE INDIVIDUALS IN THE RELATIONSHIP IS WHAT DETERMINS THE FLOW OF A RELATIONSHIP...

Major life changes and fluctuations cause changes in concious and sub concious cost benefit evaluations that are constantly happening in the minds of those in the relationship.

Here are some examples of events that usually read to direct re evaluations of ones relationship:

1. Death in the family
2. Drug use
3. New job
4. Illness handycap
5. inheritance/ income change
6. change in social circle

Some factors you can control but most you cant but your self confidence goes a long way in making your mate see you as a benefit in their life when they are in doubt.

NOTE: it is important remember and accept that all romantic relationships terminate eventually so always be ready to go it alone when you least expect it.. I take that infidelity signifies the end of a relationship even if teh two parties decide to continue to be involved and this is the way most relationships end these days..

 

[slaog]

So ive been dating this girl and we have a great time whenever we go out. We are always laughing so hard whenever we talk in person on the phone. i always playfully tease her and lots of kssing and kino and fingered her a couple days ago. we do talk and its usually her doing most of the talking and then I add what i think or my own experiences. I dont text her alot but we do talk on the phone alot and see eachother everyday. whenever we go out its pretty spontaneous and ends up being fun. so is there anything else that can be done to maintain a long lasting relationship? or can good times and laughter be enough?

Keep a positive frame/state of mind.


When something bad happens don't let it effect you i.e if she doesn't call you back sometime then that should not bother you. Also just trust her and respect her etc and usually you'll get treated the same way you treat people.

 

[L B]

Continue to do what you're doing, it's working right? Make sure you don't get too comfortable and give way to afc behavior. Always have the dating mentality and never the settled mentality. Have fun, respect her and expect respect from her. If she ever disrespect you in any way, don't let her get a way with it. Make sure you correct it right away.

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

So ive been dating this girl and we have a great time whenever we go out. We are always laughing so hard whenever we talk in person on the phone. i always playfully tease her and lots of kssing and kino and fingered her a couple days ago. we do talk and its usually her doing most of the talking and then I add what i think or my own experiences. I dont text her alot but we do talk on the phone alot and see eachother everyday. whenever we go out its pretty spontaneous and ends up being fun. so is there anything else that can be done to maintain a long lasting relationship? or can good times and laughter be enough?

We have the exact same problem... lots of kissing, love talk, touchy feely, and I love her.. But eventually there's a time to relax and find a chilled out commonground where the relationship just lasts... I just don't understand it myself yet. Hey we go hand in hand dmatter I'm taking any advice you are.

 

[dmatter]

hey str8 up pimp i feel ya. but what I wanted to know is is it necessary to be a jerk sometimes and cause drama? cause isnt that what girls love the ******* whotreats them like shyt. is it necessary to do all that cause i never understood that whole part about the jerk keeping the girl on a leash on practically does as he pleases. i mean im justa chill guy which doesnt get affected. do i NEED to set some rules or show some type of masculinity.

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

I'm not sure that's it?? I'm a ****y ****er with my girl at times.. yes I mean I guess it keeps her around but it just leads to her loving me more and more to a fault, like what goes up comes down sort of crap you know, she re-falls in love with me almost every week, that's too much drama that cannot last I get burned out. the key must be to relax and visualize the stability and then let it happen... something along those lines, eitherway I'm right along side you....

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."- Proverbs

Let's solve this conversational/nerve problem together, in the end it'll all float on eitherway.

 

[Entity Unknown]

hey str8 up pimp i feel ya. but what I wanted to know is is it necessary to be a jerk sometimes and cause drama? cause isnt that what girls love the ******* whotreats them like shyt. is it necessary to do all that cause i never understood that whole part about the jerk keeping the girl on a leash on practically does as he pleases. i mean im justa chill guy which doesnt get affected. do i NEED to set some rules or show some type of masculinity.

No, being a jerk is not a necessity.

And just to set the record straight about girls and drama - They don't love it, believe it or not, in their mind its not "drama", this is where the saying "men are from mars and women are from venus" - Women need us to understand them, and since they are a LOT more emotional than the average guy, they tend to see certain things or situations in a slightly different way to us - But if you are able to understand them and lock into their "level", then you will be a winner.

Ultimately, every human seeks the perfect partner for themselves - So put yourself in her shoes, if you are involved with a guy that makes you feel great and understand YOU, can relate with YOU, and can overcome obstacles TOGETHER (as appose to banging heads), then you are giving her (and she's hopefully giving you) everything a person needs from a potential partner.

A good way to come up with creative idea's is to think to yourself "ok given what I have to offer this woman, is there anything else I think would attract her more to someone else? (Hopefully you're getting to know her preferences etc better) And IF there might be something that may be lacking in her life then I'm going to give it to her better than anyone else."

If its not broken, then don't fix it - but don't forget to maintain and keep things alive.
A previous poster touched on the point that you must not get into the "settled" mindset, which is a golden piece of advice - think about it this way, all that "settled" really means is that you get into a state of mind where the romance is no longer important to you.

Think of any relationship you have, with anyone, friends, family, woman, think of all these relationships as a fire. Now you are standing in front of the fire holding wood in one hand, and water in the other hand - Getting the fire lit up and started is normally the hardest part, but once your fire is going (fire = relationship), then it will keep going by itself, for a while, but without more wood being thrown into the fire, it will die inevitably.

In short, keep throwing the wood in the fire, and the fire will continue to burn bright and strong.

Never forget that she is just a girl, looking for a guy, to love her properly, the way she envisions being loved, and the more you understand her as a unique individual, the better perception you'll have on what "properly" to HER, stands for.

Hope this helped in some way, and always remember to think out the box, things aren't complicated unless you make them that way.