We went on two pretty good dates. My obvious problem of not being able to really get into amazing conversations with women sort of came out again (as in ones I find interesting or entertaining even). I just can't connect with them. What they care about has no room in my world usually, lol. Anyways, I was still funny to this girl and we did joke around a lot which was kinda enjoyable.
First date (coffee, generic starbucks, last monday): I greet her with a hug. I feel like the talking is noise masking the real intentions. Outside of friendly arm taps and one sort of caress of her arm (lol) I don't start touching her until the very end. I try to initiate deep EC with her and she never does it. Literally, I do not remember the conversation here. So, the only thing that sticks out is that as she was about to leave and we do the parting hug, I'm like "hey" look at her right in the ****ing eye and go in for the kiss. We makeout/grope in the middle of the street with people walking by us in either direction for five minutes and she tells me I'm really fast for an american. She's lovin' it, though. We makeout again in her car and then she has to take off for work. The whole date lasted around 3 hours.
Some ****y as **** texts later...
Second date (following wednesday): She asks me to come watch a movie with her in the library (after seeming like she's gonna flake out on me on my date). There's a tiny bit of kino (arm around shoulder, she leans in a bit, etc), but nothing really. We hold hands walking out (doh, we're both grad students, this isn't middle school anymore). I try to extract her to my place or her place to just **** her, but it turns out she has to meet her girlfriend for coffee, so when we get to my car we once again make out/grope hardcore in the parking lot. This time, though, she's rubbing her ***** on my leg and I'm grabbing her ass rough.
She tells me to stop and moves my hands, but she loves it and squeaks a bit (lol). Then I act a homo and start kissing her face/forehead, rub behind her ears (this is **** I'd do with my ex girlfriend and I did it so much only a few weeks ago that it's like automatic behavior), and while she liked it (she was all "awww, blueline"), it was probably beta like. She's feeling up my back muscles under my shirt (good thing I did some deadlifts before the date!). We have to peel away from each other to leave. I tell her I want to take her home (can't do that, the place was a ****ing mess) and she jokingly tells me she wants to take me home (can't do that, she lives in a family house, no bringing strange guys to uncle's house).
A few sexually charged texts during the weekend where my obvious intent is revealed later...
I try to setup another meetup for saturday but she has to go to boston for a conference...
I try to set something up for monday, but then realize it's retarded last minute and try to switch things
her: i'm at starbucks right now. you still having your meeting? i'll stop by but i can't spend too much time since i have to study.
(meeting up at the political activism thing is retarded, it's a horrible way to pull)
me: (lie) turns out they're going to this rally for [independent guy who's running for congress] in [city far away]. i'll probably stop by starbucks soon to grab some coffee to keep me up while studying tonight [I was planning on flaking on her at this point].
her: mmm everybody is studying tonight! starbucks is too cold!! i went back home.
****. That's like about as direct of an indirect rejection you can get. I deleted her number, and I'm not talking to her unless she initiates. You guys think I have a chance with her still? I made lots of mistakes here, too. I brought up my ex and I also told this girl she's so much of a better kisser than my ex was, and she said something like "don't compare me to your ex!" I'm gonna actively work other girls this week. I'm almost definitely not over my bpd ex. I loved that girl even if I'm embarrassed to admit it. I want to be affectionate with a girl I ****. I want to cuddle with her and all that gay ass ****.
Guess all I can do with this girl is pretend she doesn't exist until she talks to me.
First date (coffee, generic starbucks, last monday): I greet her with a hug. I feel like the talking is noise masking the real intentions. Outside of friendly arm taps and one sort of caress of her arm (lol) I don't start touching her until the very end. I try to initiate deep EC with her and she never does it. Literally, I do not remember the conversation here. So, the only thing that sticks out is that as she was about to leave and we do the parting hug, I'm like "hey" look at her right in the ****ing eye and go in for the kiss. We makeout/grope in the middle of the street with people walking by us in either direction for five minutes and she tells me I'm really fast for an american. She's lovin' it, though. We makeout again in her car and then she has to take off for work. The whole date lasted around 3 hours.
Some ****y as **** texts later...
Second date (following wednesday): She asks me to come watch a movie with her in the library (after seeming like she's gonna flake out on me on my date). There's a tiny bit of kino (arm around shoulder, she leans in a bit, etc), but nothing really. We hold hands walking out (doh, we're both grad students, this isn't middle school anymore). I try to extract her to my place or her place to just **** her, but it turns out she has to meet her girlfriend for coffee, so when we get to my car we once again make out/grope hardcore in the parking lot. This time, though, she's rubbing her ***** on my leg and I'm grabbing her ass rough.
She tells me to stop and moves my hands, but she loves it and squeaks a bit (lol). Then I act a homo and start kissing her face/forehead, rub behind her ears (this is **** I'd do with my ex girlfriend and I did it so much only a few weeks ago that it's like automatic behavior), and while she liked it (she was all "awww, blueline"), it was probably beta like. She's feeling up my back muscles under my shirt (good thing I did some deadlifts before the date!). We have to peel away from each other to leave. I tell her I want to take her home (can't do that, the place was a ****ing mess) and she jokingly tells me she wants to take me home (can't do that, she lives in a family house, no bringing strange guys to uncle's house).
A few sexually charged texts during the weekend where my obvious intent is revealed later...
I try to setup another meetup for saturday but she has to go to boston for a conference...
I try to set something up for monday, but then realize it's retarded last minute and try to switch things
her: i'm at starbucks right now. you still having your meeting? i'll stop by but i can't spend too much time since i have to study.
(meeting up at the political activism thing is retarded, it's a horrible way to pull)
me: (lie) turns out they're going to this rally for [independent guy who's running for congress] in [city far away]. i'll probably stop by starbucks soon to grab some coffee to keep me up while studying tonight [I was planning on flaking on her at this point].
her: mmm everybody is studying tonight! starbucks is too cold!! i went back home.
****. That's like about as direct of an indirect rejection you can get. I deleted her number, and I'm not talking to her unless she initiates. You guys think I have a chance with her still? I made lots of mistakes here, too. I brought up my ex and I also told this girl she's so much of a better kisser than my ex was, and she said something like "don't compare me to your ex!" I'm gonna actively work other girls this week. I'm almost definitely not over my bpd ex. I loved that girl even if I'm embarrassed to admit it. I want to be affectionate with a girl I ****. I want to cuddle with her and all that gay ass ****.
Guess all I can do with this girl is pretend she doesn't exist until she talks to me.
