just venting my frustrations...I don't think explaining will help much anyway at the mo.
The thing is, I have no problem at all usually applying myself to problems in my life. I have overcome a LOT of obstacles. Yet this is one of those situations - the harder you try, the less you get. Frustrating.
Basically I'm saying there is some anger there from previous experiences (I have very few positive experiences with women in my life), I add it all up and yeah, it doesn't seem worth it. And at the same time this is a basic need of every man. The contradictions are driving me nuts.