reachinside
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 17
- Reaction score
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I have a problem, a socially crippling problem. It manifests that I know of in three ways.
1. I'm afraid of talking to girls because of what other people might think/say about it, even if I succeed.
2. I'm uncomfortable being around guys and often don't express my thoughts.
3. I have a horrible time making eye-contact with people, because it feels very awkward to me.
It isn't only number 3 that makes me feel very awkward. In fact they all do, and they all are very frustrating and constantly on my mind in the form of: "I know this is the problem, why can't I solve it?"
So I did some digging and Psycology says to try and dig down to the root of the problem. Okay. I'm 99% sure it was at least one, if not a combination of the following three events that lead to these problems:
1. Constant emotional bullying to me from the ages of about 8 to 16. Mostly concerning my obesity, which I still have. 235lb 5'9"
2. My teacher shouting "Chris what are you doing?!" after I looked up her dress in grade 2.
3. First girl I ever talked to and liked in 7th grade never talking to me again after I jokingly called her a lesbian when she was being made fun of by her friends for that. I never even apologized.
The fears I have are so deep-rooted, that not even recent experience telling me I should definitely be acting otherwise could get me to change them. After learning what Indicators of Interest are, I began to notice them, constantly, from the hottest girls to me, all the time, no matter where I am. In the odd time where I get paired up with a girl in class I manage to have a great time, laughing and even touching if I feel that way about her. I tried the other day to walk up to a guy and start a conversation with him, which I did, and flew, and lasted like 3 hours on the street just talking. Even still I have paralyzing fears of talking to girls, talking to guys, and making eye contact with people. These fears are amplified especially when around more people, like in subway/bus stations, and at school. I'm 17 years old, and I don't want to live this way anymore. Please help me man
1. I'm afraid of talking to girls because of what other people might think/say about it, even if I succeed.
2. I'm uncomfortable being around guys and often don't express my thoughts.
3. I have a horrible time making eye-contact with people, because it feels very awkward to me.
It isn't only number 3 that makes me feel very awkward. In fact they all do, and they all are very frustrating and constantly on my mind in the form of: "I know this is the problem, why can't I solve it?"
So I did some digging and Psycology says to try and dig down to the root of the problem. Okay. I'm 99% sure it was at least one, if not a combination of the following three events that lead to these problems:
1. Constant emotional bullying to me from the ages of about 8 to 16. Mostly concerning my obesity, which I still have. 235lb 5'9"
2. My teacher shouting "Chris what are you doing?!" after I looked up her dress in grade 2.
3. First girl I ever talked to and liked in 7th grade never talking to me again after I jokingly called her a lesbian when she was being made fun of by her friends for that. I never even apologized.
The fears I have are so deep-rooted, that not even recent experience telling me I should definitely be acting otherwise could get me to change them. After learning what Indicators of Interest are, I began to notice them, constantly, from the hottest girls to me, all the time, no matter where I am. In the odd time where I get paired up with a girl in class I manage to have a great time, laughing and even touching if I feel that way about her. I tried the other day to walk up to a guy and start a conversation with him, which I did, and flew, and lasted like 3 hours on the street just talking. Even still I have paralyzing fears of talking to girls, talking to guys, and making eye contact with people. These fears are amplified especially when around more people, like in subway/bus stations, and at school. I'm 17 years old, and I don't want to live this way anymore. Please help me man