so now she tells me she's got a bf

[felony]

While doing exercises from the boot camp i came across this girl. I fully worked the skillz i intended to practice and got some good results. she had high IL, etc, calling me for no reason.. obviously into me sort of stuff.

Then i let things cool for awhile, cos really i don't give much of a toss about her.. had to work on fulfilling other dj objectives from the boot camp etc!

Saw her a week later, had a chat, asked what she got up to on the weekend and she said she went shopping for a dress for her bf's b'day. I was taken back, but hopefully didn't make it too obvious. I kinda wrapped the convo up pretty quickly and said i gtg.

What would you guys have done? Considering this is about the 3 time i've chatted with this girl, 1st time i got her number, 2nd time she's wanting to 'go out' 3rd time- oh btw i've got a bf.

what kind of things would you have said to the i've got a bf line? any c&f? a neg-hit of some sort? try to show her u r more alpha than her bf?(dunno the bf if he's dj or afc-don't really care tho).
how can i use this situation to my benefit? any skills i can practice knowing she has a bf?

felony.
my charm- its criminal.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_100/140_relationship_expert.html

 

[felony]

ok, i've read the content at askmen.com and it seems relatively similar to this situation- (and i certainly won't be falling into any ljbf zone, i've got enough friends as it is lol.) What the article is suggesting i do is the usual stuff be more challenging, give her less attention, be seen having a fun time with other girls etc.

coolies no probs, that part is easily done.
however there are some other points of interested still not discussed, thoughts would be appreciated.

f.

 

[Shiftkey]

If you've kissed her, she's looking for the "bigger and better deal." If not, you might be in the friend's zone. Only way to find out is to actually 'go out' with her and see how things go, but don't get your hopes up.

 

[felony]

this is new to me, i haven't ever asked a girl out whose got a bf!

but you think this is the way to go about it? I know how to ask girls out to and "have some fun with me" so no probs there but i guess i could expect some pretty strong resistance along the lines of i've got a bf.

Then in turn, how does that effect my character if i start making out with some girl that has a bf? I know i wouldn't LTR this girl cos if she's cheating on her bf, then she will more than likely cheat on me...

perhaps best to next her and not ruin the relationship she shares with her bf. ! haha isn't that noble of me! lol.

f.

 

[PowerPipe]

go out with her and do something that will involve a bit of physical contract and drinks. Trying going to a bar or club with dancing. Have a few drinks. Make her laugh and get close to her while dancing. Good luck.

 

[felony]

cool idea, and i know chicks really want to go out with me haha but i simply can't help feeling slightly doubtful which is not good and should be totally erradicated from my feelings list.

but come on, i don't want to sound afc, but i'm inviting her to go clubbing with me! she has a bf! i can hear it now, "no i don't think my bf would be too happy with me if i did that.... " blah blah.

still it's a new experience, if anything i think i might enjoy asking her out! and if it works great i'm gonna have some 'fun'. if it doesn't then i could always do with a rejection. still i feel as though i'm not respecting guys or something for going after someones gf....

f.

 

[Don Rageta]

Are you sure she even has a boyfriend.

There is this classic episode of Seinfeld where George and this waitress are always flirting. high interest level on both sides. he asks her to go for a walk and their talking and all. Somehow George gets to talking about Manure and her interest level drops. She casually throws in an "oh, my boyfriend does ,blah blah too."
later He finds out she never had a boyfriend.

This is a particularly good episode. they talk about women casually bringing a bf into a conversation, 'they just metion it like it's all part of the conversation.'

Anyway think about it, you get her number you go out once, she's not sure of you yet, you go out a 2nd time (probalby were too availiable) and she finds she isn't as attracted to you as she thought, oh and by the way 'my boyfriend has a shirt just like yours', or whatever bs line she chose to use.

i doubt you still have a chance, i say you next her, no use getting oneitits especially when she sounds like she's likely to lead you on.

 

[felony]

cool! i wouldn't mind getting my hands on that episode

good point, come to think of it, i really don't know if she has a bf or not. i feel like nexting her and would have no trouble doing so, but i thought knowing a girl like this who has a bf could be fun, then again it could be more trouble than its worth.

thanks for your thoughts guys, this girl is going into the next folder. damn that folder is getting big!

felony.

hang on, if she lied.... then what the hell does that mean? i reckon i'd next her just for lying about having a bf when she really doesn't! haha.

ciao.

 

[Shiftkey]

You're analyzing this way to much. Just act. It's not that complicated...

 

[crowes22]

If she really was interested in you, sounds like she was/is, the BF mention may have been a test since you let things cool/pulled back from her. Hard to say w/ the info you provided.

But I promise you chicks will do this-big time, if they are showing interest and your interest seems lower to them, they'll often try to level the field by mentioning a BF or guys in general. And often their methods will be drastic-anything to make it appear they weren't rejected-possibly even getting back with loser they dumped for you. I actually had this happen. It's them trying to get some control, when they have high interest, they have next to no control, and they critique every damn thing you say or do, they are generally super insecure when their interest is way high in a guy and they haven't landed him yet.

I notice they'll start doing some pretty stupid/strange things in this situation. If she is doing them so that you will see it/ hear of it/ or for no reason telling you of it, rest assured you are the reason why.

You can still get them when this BS has gone down, but you'll likely be playing by her rules and on her time frame-usually not worth it IMO.

At least you are out there trying, that truly is about 90% of the battle won. Good luck.

 

[felony]

yeah looks like i might get a few laughs in the near future then
i don't really like games... but she can play them all she likes, cos really i don't mind if i'm her friend/bf/**** buddy or never see her again.... it's all good

take it easy guys and thanks for the advice.

f.

 

[Surfboard]

Considering this is about the 3 time i've chatted with this girl, 1st time i got her number, 2nd time she's wanting to 'go out' 3rd time- oh btw i've got a bf.

The part about her buying a dress for her boyfriend's birthday, can go either way. More information would've helped. You guys never give enough IMPORTANT INFORMATION.

First of all, did you two ever go out? If you two did go out, then this is her way of letting you know that she doesn't want to go out with you again.

Now if you didn't go out with her after your 2nd time chatting with her, then the mentioning of the boyfriend is where the games begin. BTW this is your own fault. Her wanting to go out doesn't get any more obvious than that.

The reason she'd mention a boyfriend would be to show you that other guys do desire her. In other words, she's trying to get you jealous so you'll make a move and ask her out. She may actually have a so-called boyfriend, but that doesn't mean you're not the one she really wants.

If her interest in you is as high as you say, then she'll soon tell you that her and the boyfriend have broken up. This will be another cue for you to ask her out.

Someday I'll write a post about a girl that's been wanting me to go out with her for awhile now. You'll learn alot from watching the things they'll do.

i don't really like games... but she can play them all she likes, cos really i don't mind if i'm her friend/bf/**** buddy or never see her again.... it's all good

If you don't want to go out with her, can at least learn from her. I'm not suggesting you lead her on, but just play hard to get. Then just sit back and watch the show.