oldmanofthesea
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2018
- Messages
- 1,597
- Reaction score
- 3,309
- Age
- 48
I think you handled it perfectly, on all accounts. You told her what you were and were not willing to accept and you held that frame perfectly.
Her lunch-time suggestion is lame and telling. As you seem to already be aware of, lunch dates are an express ticket to friend-zone. She just wants to probe you and see where you are - see how much you miss her. So you've done the right thing. If seeing you was THAT important to her as she says, she could totally cancel her Friday night plans to see you instead. She could also text you about it instead of F2F talking too. You are doing the right thing NOT canceling your plans on account of her since she's the one who broke it off with you.
If she can't do Friday night, tell her to get in touch in a week or two when her schedule clears up and you can try again to come up with a day/time that works for both of you. But yeah, I doubt this is going to go anywhere. She is most likely just looking for validation to see if you are still an option for her, should she decide she is desperate enough to want you back. Don't mistake her words and frantic texting for actual attraction or interest in YOU. She's frantic because she's not getting that hit of dopamine from the validation she seeks from you, and she might be feeling rejected.
Stay strong. You're doing great.
Her lunch-time suggestion is lame and telling. As you seem to already be aware of, lunch dates are an express ticket to friend-zone. She just wants to probe you and see where you are - see how much you miss her. So you've done the right thing. If seeing you was THAT important to her as she says, she could totally cancel her Friday night plans to see you instead. She could also text you about it instead of F2F talking too. You are doing the right thing NOT canceling your plans on account of her since she's the one who broke it off with you.
If she can't do Friday night, tell her to get in touch in a week or two when her schedule clears up and you can try again to come up with a day/time that works for both of you. But yeah, I doubt this is going to go anywhere. She is most likely just looking for validation to see if you are still an option for her, should she decide she is desperate enough to want you back. Don't mistake her words and frantic texting for actual attraction or interest in YOU. She's frantic because she's not getting that hit of dopamine from the validation she seeks from you, and she might be feeling rejected.
Stay strong. You're doing great.