So my Christmas Gift was realizing I was the Side dude.

[cfdagola]

So I've posted about this chick off and on but lately there's been no reason to post because for all intents and purposes things were going great.

We hang out, we get physical she loves to flirt and be touchy feely with me and there are times where, And here's where i drop the bomb.

that the guy she is living with isn't a big deal.

Yeah i said it. The guy she is living with. You see this man and her have a long standing history. and they were engaged for a time to. But she ditched him did other **** and came back to him after about 5 months.

Now here i stood thinking wow she's going to finally do it and break off from him. Because she's reminiscing about our past. she's been hella flirty. she says she misses me all the time. sends me pictures. she says she thinks about me all the time and i'm always on her mind. SHE EVEN CALLS me her BOYFRIEND. I mean this is Like every guys dream to have a girl that's THAT into you.

Hell Even TODAY she sent me a cute Voice Text wishing me a merry Christmas, flirted with me shared some laughs and then i fell back asleep because she texted me as soon as she got up which was around 7:30am.

and then later TODAY like about an HOUR AGO. boom drops the facebook bomb and makes her profile picture those two sharing a laugh wearing matching "ugly Christmas sweaters".

And then i got to thinking. Well this is sorta my fault i made her feel that. her living with him was OK she actually trained me by way of her sexuality and words to not even bring him up or anything.

But now i understand all along that I am, WAS the side dish. the dude she goes to when her main guy is becoming boring.

and i'll tell you it sucks to be slapped in the face with that reality. But i'm just shaking my head because all I've done to myself is become more emotionally involved with her and she's stayed right where she wants to be. Between two men and only of them she actually gives two cents about.

and I can give you one guess which guy that is. HINT: not the dude posting at sosuave

I made the backhanded comment in a text when she texted me later on in the day. That i thought the picture of them was cute and i hope she has a memorible christmas. She's like that picture was from last year. but i'll take your backhanded compliment. I said no backhanded intended it was an honest compliment.

She's like why are you being a downer right now?

I say "lol, dude you should be around the people you care about most and spending the day with them, not texting the dude you talk to when you get bored who's a downer"

She says way to push me away fine ttyl.

I didn't respond.

Don't Be me. :nono:

 

[Mr_Stinky]

I didn't respond.

You should probably keep it that way

 

[dutchmaster]

chick sounds like a lunatic. run while u can bro.. glad you learned from this experience though. Gotta hit rock bottom before you can change sometimes

 

[cfdagola]

go get a girllfriend.

you sound really lonely.

if i was in your position id be enjoying it and luaghing at the idiot shes living with not myself. I would be GLAD im the other guy and not the sucker who has to deal with HER

you dont seem to get how this works. you should be as distant as possible to this chick and have your own rotation of women or at least one main girl.

your texts wreak of desperation. shes going to drop you soon

how do they reek of desperation?

i made a back handed compliment. she said what she said. Asked why i was being a downer.

i laughed and said dude go be with the people who mean something to you and not the dude you text on the side.

she said way to push me away

i never responded back. If i was desperate i would have brought her back with i'm sorry i just (insert something self deprecating here)

And how does she drop something she never had? as the OP states. I'm the side dude. I've always been the side dude probably from day 1. we're now on day 600+ right now.

as for lonely. yeah I'll give you that. But doesn't make me desperate. Because i didn't play back into the game. That picture made it "real" in my mind and i know what i need to do. I was just sharing an experience.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

go get a girllfriend.

you sound really lonely.

if i was in your position id be enjoying it and luaghing at the idiot shes living with not myself. I would be GLAD im the other guy and not the sucker who has to deal with HER

you dont seem to get how this works. you should be as distant as possible to this chick and have your own rotation of women or at least one main girl.

your texts wreak of desperation. shes going to drop you soon

agree ... you should open champagne and not behave like hurt puppy,
you get the cream while the other guy gets the cream and the ****, most probably she doesn't give **** about both of you

 

[switch7]

go get a girllfriend.

you sound really lonely.

if i was in your position id be enjoying it and luaghing at the idiot shes living with not myself. I would be GLAD im the other guy and not the sucker who has to deal with HER

you dont seem to get how this works. you should be as distant as possible to this chick and have your own rotation of women or at least one main girl.

your texts wreak of desperation. shes going to drop you soon

THIS.

You think you have got the short end of the deal but honestly, you are in a better position than the guy she is living with. Imagine it was the other way round. Now you know how the cards are marked you have the opportunity to spin some plates and watch her come running to you when she sees your distance growing, when she does that its up to you how you deal with it. Don't treat her nice.

 

[Desdinova]

if i was in your position id be enjoying it and luaghing at the idiot shes living with not myself. I would be GLAD im the other guy and not the sucker who has to deal with HER

This is a good point. The guy she's living with has to hear about all the "other guys" that are floating around in her life, and has to tolerate her never being fully committed 24/7. The worst part is he can't just walk away when he's fed up because HE FVCKING LIVES WITH HER.

You can just pick up your freedom, put a bit of ointment on your scrapes, and move onto your next conquest.

 

[VikingKing]

how do they reek of desperation?

i made a back handed compliment. she said what she said. Asked why i was being a downer.

i laughed and said dude go be with the people who mean something to you and not the dude you text on the side.

she said way to push me away

i never responded back. If i was desperate i would have brought her back with i'm sorry i just (insert something self deprecating here)

And how does she drop something she never had? as the OP states. I'm the side dude. I've always been the side dude probably from day 1. we're now on day 600+ right now.

as for lonely. yeah I'll give you that. But doesn't make me desperate. Because i didn't play back into the game. That picture made it "real" in my mind and i know what i need to do. I was just sharing an experience.

because you showed jealousy, that you still care. Its easiest for women to drop you when they know you care. The best thing you. Could have done is go minimal or no contact. That way she will wonder and it may consume her as oppossed to h comfortably and slowly phasing you out, which will result.in you suffering.

 

[cfdagola]

because you showed jealousy, that you still care. Its easiest for women to drop you when they know you care. The best thing you. Could have done is go minimal or no contact. That way she will wonder and it may consume her as oppossed to h comfortably and slowly phasing you out, which will result.in you suffering.

maybe, but history suggest she will come back

there's something about me she keeps around. and no i don't shower her with compliments or bend to her will.

this is me not bending. i'm resisting.

you are right though. i should have just casually faded out. But i didn't i made a passing back handed comment. I didn't go OMG!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!

didn't cry or beg or ask why. just said "you two look cute together"

And yes she has texted me and i've ignored all of her text's because now she's getting drunk and when she gets drunk that's when she goes back to her side dude.. me

screw that mess.

also this hasn't been a one off thing like we've only known each other for a few weeks. i've known her for over over 2 years. I should know better honestly considering i know her well. but maybe i don't lol and what i know has been a lie all along.

 

[zekko]

I say good for the OP for realizing that he's not getting what he wants out of this chick. Congratulations, brother. Hope you find somebody better. Get looking.

 

[sylvester the cat]

She was still living with her husband or whatever. Honestly, what was op expecting to be other than the side dish?

 

[cfdagola]

She was still living with her husband or whatever. Honestly, what was op expecting to be other than the side dish?

you are absolutely right man.

i have no clue wtf i was expecting. You should understand that over the time i've known her

strangers i've vented to who struck me up in drunken conversation at bars have said what you and sosuave have set. ditch this chick she doesn't care about you and only herself she hardly even cares about the dude she's living with if she's doing this all behind his back.

All my friends have said the same thing.

I literally had my coolest down to earth and very attractive female friend/wing woman literally slap me when we were drunk and i was venting to her about it. she's like

"Cfdagola SHUT THE F--- up!! i don't want to hear about that crazy bi*ch anymore! you are absolutely pathetic and i hate being your friend when you act like a whiny female"

strangers on other advice and seduction boards have said the same thing. she's crazy has very low self esteem and will not ever be happy with just one man.

SMH. I'm pretty pathetic when it comes to this chick its quite sad. And i'm finally over this mess. I mean wtf am i actually losing by saying bye Felicia to her?

 

[Meisterman]

That was cringeworthy just to read man. Have you even fvcked her or sexually escalated at all? Or just flirted? If you knew her for a while and never made a move she could just have always been an attention wh*re who just used you for attention/orbiter. You can't get into a girl's pants by trying to be her friend/text buddy. But it's not your fault man so don't beat yourself up. She sounds like a nut case anyway.