So I'm new to this...
- Thread starter Leetsauce
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Don Juan
Alot of people get stuck in "analysis paralysis", they just read and read and read but never go out and DO. If you want to be better with women, GO OUT and interact with them, whether its nightgame, daygame, whatever your comfortable with, get out there and approach them.
A guy with no PUA knowledge that approaches half the girls that he sees will run circles around a guy that "knows everything" but never approaches...
alot of this stuff is great and def helps but just reading it is like experiencing 1% of it, the other 99 is applying it while talking to girls.
my only other suggestion is don't get too hung up on this method vs. that style, which is the best particular one you have to follow to the T, etc....focus on improving YOURSELF, by taking bits and pieces from anything that helps YOU.
good luck and enjoy your journey man!
A guy with no PUA knowledge that approaches half the girls that he sees will run circles around a guy that "knows everything" but never approaches...
alot of this stuff is great and def helps but just reading it is like experiencing 1% of it, the other 99 is applying it while talking to girls.
my only other suggestion is don't get too hung up on this method vs. that style, which is the best particular one you have to follow to the T, etc....focus on improving YOURSELF, by taking bits and pieces from anything that helps YOU.
good luck and enjoy your journey man!
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
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The key to the game is to enjoy the adventure. Quite a few girls WILL be cruel to you and reject you. They might roll their eyes at you, make condescending comments, etc. But others will want to make out with you. Some will even want to F you. It's that chick you hook up with that makes the other 20 rejections worth it.
Enjoy the ride and see for yourself that all women are NOT the same.
Enjoy the ride and see for yourself that all women are NOT the same.
My issue really is that I give myself excuses not to ask girls out/for their numbers... I don't go clubbing, so my options are limited to classes, public areas, shopping centers, etc.
Excuses I can remember is oh I cant ask her out she's in my class for the next several years (I'm in college right now), and I don't want to creep her out or something and have her telling others about me.
Another excuse is oh its too public I feel like I'd have an audience looking at me fail. Or that she's just there to shop doesn't want to be bothered. I make these excuses and just cant get over them. Some sort of fear gets over me and I can't do it. Any tips?
Excuses I can remember is oh I cant ask her out she's in my class for the next several years (I'm in college right now), and I don't want to creep her out or something and have her telling others about me.
Another excuse is oh its too public I feel like I'd have an audience looking at me fail. Or that she's just there to shop doesn't want to be bothered. I make these excuses and just cant get over them. Some sort of fear gets over me and I can't do it. Any tips?
The first step is to work on glaring flaws you have. You need to be comfortable in social situations, totally at ease with whatever happens. You don't seem to have any issues with confidence, self-esteem or anything like that, but it's certainly something you need to have. Secondly you need to just start speaking to girls... You don't actually need any books, any DVD sets, you don't even need to post on this forum, all you need to do is start speaking to girls and actively trying to make things happen with them. As long as you're not professing your undying love for them then there's not really anything you can do wrong.
Also you should usually get a gut feeling as to whether a girl likes you or not. To be honest you should start asking girls in your classes to hang out... Chat to them in class a bit, tease them, make them laugh then try to get them out one on one.
A couple of things I will tell you is that when a girl maybe says negative things about you to her friends or others, for example that you're ugly and she'd never date you, don't believe it for a second. Those things are meaningless and what she may say to her friends is often not entirely true. Just push forward, make moves on her and see what happens, judge her by her actions not the things she says.
Also when you speak to a girl for the first time there is nearly always a spark/she will have interest in you. I think this is what people think is the "friend zone", when the initial spark of interest fades, but in my opinion the friend zone is a myth and simply means that the way you are coming across to her is not attractive to her, but it's certainly not something set in stone, just that once the initial interest goes then it can be hard to get it going again.
But you won't even make that mistake anymore. From now on look for the initial spark of interest, believes me it's there with nearly all women you meet for the first time. Capitalize on it. If she seems interested escalate things with her. You need to be the one to make things happen most of the time, if you don't actively try to make things happen they won't... So be sure to go for what you want and if you want to have sex with a girl actually get her back to your place and escalate. Male a conscious effort to actually make a move on many girls.
I think that's about it, so just be aware of those things. But the most important thing is you start speaking to women and experiencing things for yourself.
Sorry if it's hard to read I'm writing on a smartphone and it's kinda hard to write on here, but hopefully you get what I'm saying.
Also you should usually get a gut feeling as to whether a girl likes you or not. To be honest you should start asking girls in your classes to hang out... Chat to them in class a bit, tease them, make them laugh then try to get them out one on one.
A couple of things I will tell you is that when a girl maybe says negative things about you to her friends or others, for example that you're ugly and she'd never date you, don't believe it for a second. Those things are meaningless and what she may say to her friends is often not entirely true. Just push forward, make moves on her and see what happens, judge her by her actions not the things she says.
Also when you speak to a girl for the first time there is nearly always a spark/she will have interest in you. I think this is what people think is the "friend zone", when the initial spark of interest fades, but in my opinion the friend zone is a myth and simply means that the way you are coming across to her is not attractive to her, but it's certainly not something set in stone, just that once the initial interest goes then it can be hard to get it going again.
But you won't even make that mistake anymore. From now on look for the initial spark of interest, believes me it's there with nearly all women you meet for the first time. Capitalize on it. If she seems interested escalate things with her. You need to be the one to make things happen most of the time, if you don't actively try to make things happen they won't... So be sure to go for what you want and if you want to have sex with a girl actually get her back to your place and escalate. Male a conscious effort to actually make a move on many girls.
I think that's about it, so just be aware of those things. But the most important thing is you start speaking to women and experiencing things for yourself.
Sorry if it's hard to read I'm writing on a smartphone and it's kinda hard to write on here, but hopefully you get what I'm saying.
Become aware of your body language. Work on your posture if necessary. Slow down your movements in general, and take up more space but without coming off like a tool to others.
The times I've gotten the most overt interest from women and/or been approached by women was when I was displaying dominant body language. It really works.
Even when you aren't in the process of meeting women, use your time in public wisely by learning to closely observe and interpret other peoples' body language.
Use your powers of observation to become aware of when girls are sending you indicators of interest (IOIs). IOIs are generally subtle. The most common IOI I see is women noticing the guy, then placing themselves in his vicinity so that he can approach them and start a conversation.
Become more social in general. Start conversations with people you don't know when you are in public. Male, female, young, old, ugly, good-looking. The more you talk to strangers the better your social skills in general will get.
You don't need to improve all at once. Small improvements at regular intervals over a period of time adds up to big changes.
This is a wonderful opportunity you have. Treat it as such. Older fellas like myself had basically no access to material of this sort when we were in your shoes.
Be honest with yourself about what you truly want. If you want a date, don't settle for a friendly chat. Chatting in general is to be avoided, as it rarely leads to your goals being met. Keep conversation light and fun. Know what you want and go for it, and don't make apologies for it or pretend like you aren't trying to get dates and sex. It is 100% normal and natural for a young man to seek members of the opposite sex for dates and sex.
The times I've gotten the most overt interest from women and/or been approached by women was when I was displaying dominant body language. It really works.
Even when you aren't in the process of meeting women, use your time in public wisely by learning to closely observe and interpret other peoples' body language.
Use your powers of observation to become aware of when girls are sending you indicators of interest (IOIs). IOIs are generally subtle. The most common IOI I see is women noticing the guy, then placing themselves in his vicinity so that he can approach them and start a conversation.
Become more social in general. Start conversations with people you don't know when you are in public. Male, female, young, old, ugly, good-looking. The more you talk to strangers the better your social skills in general will get.
You don't need to improve all at once. Small improvements at regular intervals over a period of time adds up to big changes.
This is a wonderful opportunity you have. Treat it as such. Older fellas like myself had basically no access to material of this sort when we were in your shoes.
Be honest with yourself about what you truly want. If you want a date, don't settle for a friendly chat. Chatting in general is to be avoided, as it rarely leads to your goals being met. Keep conversation light and fun. Know what you want and go for it, and don't make apologies for it or pretend like you aren't trying to get dates and sex. It is 100% normal and natural for a young man to seek members of the opposite sex for dates and sex.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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The hard cold truth is you need to go outside your comfort zone. You HAVE to experience that unknown territory of approaching and conversing with women you don't know.Leetsauce said:
What helped me when I used to be like this is remember that these women cannot judge you because they know nothing about you. If they form any opinions about you, they're insignificant because they can't tell your friends or family what they think.
On top of that, I like to think that women LOVE to be approached by men. They want some guy to come and make their current boring activity interesting and fun! They NEED some excitement in their lives, and you can be the one to give it to them.
To repeat what a previous poster said, you need to get out there and put your knowledge to work. It will only get easier with experience.
I'll keep that in mind. I got close to it earlier by just telling myself in my head "just do it just do it" but it was really small talk and didnt go anywhere because like you guys are all saying I didn't have the end result in mind. I was really just talking for the sake of talking. It's a good first step though I think Ill try to do be more focused on that.
About that body language thing I tried the whole looking into their eyes, being open, dominant. I haven't seen a noticeable change yet but again it's still my first week. I'll keep trying.
All of this stuff is great guys thanks.
About that body language thing I tried the whole looking into their eyes, being open, dominant. I haven't seen a noticeable change yet but again it's still my first week. I'll keep trying.
All of this stuff is great guys thanks.
It happened again. I was at the gym and saw a chick who was pretty hot, and I spent a good 4 minutes thinking of what to say while I was exercising and thought of a opener and how to react to what she said and it was like I was thinking up contingencies and **** and then when it came the perfect time to approach her I was like "yeah just go for it" and it was as if I was just talking to a wall. I couldn't get my ****ing ass up to her.
She was running on the track, the plan was to approach and be like "100 laps whoo". I thought it would prompt a laugh then I'd ask her how many she'd done and regardless of the answer be like "that's cute" in a condescending way. I don't know if that's any good but I thought I'd run it by you guys just to see if I'm on the right wavelength?
Damn it was just silly I should've gone for it. I'll try again tomorrow.
She was running on the track, the plan was to approach and be like "100 laps whoo". I thought it would prompt a laugh then I'd ask her how many she'd done and regardless of the answer be like "that's cute" in a condescending way. I don't know if that's any good but I thought I'd run it by you guys just to see if I'm on the right wavelength?
Damn it was just silly I should've gone for it. I'll try again tomorrow.