So I'm 23, and still a virgin... F***

[Event3horizon]

I figure that I must have some serious issues if I'm still a virgin at 23 in this society. True or False?

Some issues I am trying to overcome is my low self confidence, because I don't have a great body. In other words I'm fat, not hideously fat, but my belly sticks out pretty good and I have an annoying but slight layer of extra chin. I am not ugly by any means though. I have a good job and career and I also recently bought an AWESOME car that chicks dig (as I see them stare) but I haven't been able to put any girl in it!!

For the longest time I pretty much think that my weight issue persists as the main problem. A man needs good self confidence to score with girls. But this weight issue has held that confidence low. And even though I've tried to counter this low confidence with bursts of pseudo-confidence, those moments proved fruitless.

Now, I am trying to lose the fat, but the key word is trying. I am utterly confused these days what works, what doesn't.

But some say that, It doesn't matter if your fat, as long as your good with communication.

Well, truth is, I suck with communication. Especially with girls. I end up too nerdy, technical, pessimistic, sarcastic.. in other words dull and unexciting. I tie up words and try to say witting things with utter failure and embarrassment.

As for approaching girls, I have no balls. I've analyzed why. It's because of low confidence of body appearance, paired with NOT HAVING ANY IDEA what to say past "hi" or "how's it going"

And finally, to put icing on the cake, I'm almost going partially bald, at this young age. GAY!! I have no means of making a "hairstyle"

I kinda have EVERYTHING going against me at this point. And I'm at the end of my ropes. Does anyone have any tips, links or recommendations of things to read to get a good from the ground up basics in seduction for this hip-hop loving, pot-smoking generation? Should I just gain some experience like hiring an escort on craigslist? (I have the $$) Should I go to the mall and target younger high school chicks that like to be with older guys??

 

[thewarrior]

Have you tried just talking to women without thinking about sex?

 

[zzeitgeist]

Well its pretty obvious what you must do. You identified your two major problems.

Your weight issue and your trying to hard to make conversation.

Start with your weight. The best way to lose weight is to get into a gym and start running and doing light weights. You can also start by cutting down your food portions. Don't try to go on any radical diet. Diets are hard to stick to. If you can't do any of those things then you need to learn to embrace your body.

The conversation part will come with practice. Start really simple and dont use stupid canned lines. Just talk normally like you would with anyone. Listen for ques that you can use to further the conversation and then expand on them and try to relate back.

There are a ton of examples around here so just use search function and start reading. Don't over analyze though and don't use canned stuff - try to have a natural conversation with them.

 

[ElStud]

Well its pretty obvious what you must do. You identified your two major problems.

Your weight issue and your trying to hard to make conversation.

Start with your weight. The best way to lose weight is to get into a gym and start running and doing light weights. You can also start by cutting down your food portions. Don't try to go on any radical diet. Diets are hard to stick to. If you can't do any of those things then you need to learn to embrace your body.

The conversation part will come with practice. Start really simple and dont use stupid canned lines. Just talk normally like you would with anyone. Listen for ques that you can use to further the conversation and then expand on them and try to relate back.

There are a ton of examples around here so just use search function and start reading. Don't over analyze though and don't use canned stuff - try to have a natural conversation with them.

Thing is about weight is... don't lose weight cause you think it'll help you get laid. There are fat guys out there who are dating beautiful sexy women who aren't fat.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Thing is about weight is... don't lose weight cause you think it'll help you get laid. There are fat guys out there who are dating beautiful sexy women who aren't fat.

Disagree, there's plenty of reasons to lose weight. Health reasons for sure. If you view your weight as a problem, then it's time to lose it. You'll be more confident, which will in turn lead to you being more attractive, which can help you get laid. That's the naked truth.

 

[Captain]

Fat men can still get girls, but its easier if you're not fat.

 

[nismo-4]

Fat men can still get girls, but its easier if you're not fat.

I think that's called being rich and famous...

On a serious tip, it seems like the car is more awesome than you are! Your confidence is low. If need be, look into plastic surgery and make sure it's safe.

Otherwise, take that awesome car to the gym, get yo ass out and hit the workouts! And do you go clubbing? You can show the car off, but you can't bring the car in there!

You're thinking about getting an escort off craigslist? Not worth the risk. It can be an undercover cop. Save that money for something worthwhile. (Hair club for men, surgery)

Another thing, work on your communication, and stop using a Carlton Banks swagger. Using those million dollar vocabulary words will often backfire, so learn how to approach, flirt, and have fun motherf***er!

Finally, Women are just like Pokemon, the guys who have balls can battle, catch, and train the ones they want!

 

[nismo-4]

I think that's called being rich and famous...

On a serious tip, it seems like the car is more awesome than you are! Your confidence is low. If need be, look into plastic surgery and make sure it's safe.

Otherwise, take that awesome car to the gym, get yo ass out and hit the workouts! And do you go clubbing? You can show the car off, but you can't bring the car in there!

You're thinking about getting an escort off craigslist? Not worth the risk. It can be an undercover cop. Save that money for something worthwhile. (Hair club for men, surgery)

Another thing, work on your communication, and stop using a Carlton Banks swagger. Using those million dollar vocabulary words will often backfire, so learn how to approach, flirt, and have fun motherf***er!

Finally, Women are just like Pokemon, the guys who have balls can battle, catch, and train the ones they want!

 

[Captain]

Women are just like Pokemon

Haven't heard that one before.

 

[WaRpEd]

"Get to work" :kick:


Your a 23 Year old virgin? Dosen't affect me any. Who cares what society thinks. The question should be reworded.

"Does Event3horizon have a serious issue with the fact that he is a 23 year old virgin?"

You need to start taking action on things you consider "personal problems". I would advise you to seek professional help (be it medical, athletic, or whatever) with your weight, hair, and body issues if you think your situation calls for it. If you want to be a better communicator, then you need to train your ability to ...communicate. Get involved with something that requires you to talk to people, lots of people, all kinds of people. If you've allready done any or all the things I've just suggested, then you either need to come up with something else, try harder, or quit making excuses. :yes:

Sounds like your trying waaaaaay to hard. Your geting all messed up and crashing into conversation road blocks over what?

Are you on trial for murder, facing the fact that you are probably going to lose?...Nope.

Are you on camera explaining why you are killing thousands of innocent civilians with your extremly lethal army??...Nuh huh.

Are you telling a mother her daughter was killed in a car accident???...Not at the moment.

Your just talking to some person.

Glad to hear everything else in your life is going good for you. Perhaps that'll make it easier for you than many who make their way here.

"Should I just gain some experience like hiring an escort on craigslist? (I have the $$) Should I go to the mall and target younger high school chicks that like to be with older guys??"

Do not be one of those creepy guys I see on the news.

I'm assuming you've read through the "DJ Bible". There is a link near the bottom of this webpage to it. No matter if you have or have not read any of it, glimpse through it while targeting articles on conversation, social interaction, etc. And perhaps any other issues you may need to work on.

Good luck with all that. Don't take things to seriously. With a strong, but calm mindset you need to "Get to work".

 

[intrextrovert]

Well for the weight thing this is what i will advise you: run and lift weights. You don't need to have an optimal training program unless you want to go body builder. Something like this:

Monday lift
Tuesday running
Wednesday lift
Thursday run
Friday lift
Sat/Sun run/rest, run one rest one or both rest

For running the best thing really is High Intensity Interval Training. It is pretty much sprinting for a set amount of time then walking/jogging then sprinting then jogging etc. until you can hardly stand or feel like puking (do one more after you seriously would stop). For instance get a field or track, sprint down it then walk/jog (depending on your fitness) back then sprint again etc.

For lifting, look up rippetoe's 3x. It's very simple, there are two alternating workouts (eg workout A on monday, B wednesday, A friday, then next week B monday, A wednesday, B friday etc.) with about 4-5 exercises each focusing on compound lifts. It takes about 15-30 minutes to do in a gym, and it works!

 

[intrextrovert]

And secondly, GO SAY HI GOD DAMN IT! The only way you get better is practice, trust me most guys have no idea what they're going to say after hi when they approach, esp. beginning, they just try to go with the flow and if they don't have a good time they leave.

 

[nightcrawler]

where in Florida are you?

 

[zzeitgeist]

I would advise against interval training till you puke... especially as a beginner your body won't need that type of intensity to start burning fat. You need to get your body used to excercise before you injure yourself or get a heart attack on the treadmill. Start with light jogging for about 20 minutes a day 5 days a week and have a cool down walking period of 5 minutes each day. Make sure to stretch. Then increase intensity on a weekly basis - you'll be more likely to stick to your workouts.

Also don't try to lift heavy when your trying to lose weight. It is impossible to gain muscle mass and lose fat at the same exact time. In order to gain muscle your body needs to take in more calories than it burns. If your lifting heavy your body will call for more calories, you will get urges to eat more, which will not help you lose weight. If your goal is to burn fat then lift light weights and focus on repetitions.

The easiest way to lose weight is to start making better choices when it comes to food. There are things out there that you can substitute that taste just as good and have 10x less calories. So write down the **** you eat and drink(very important) from there you can make healthy substitutes that won't leave you starving but will cut down your calories ten fold.

 

[up_an_up]

I figure that I must have some serious issues if I'm still a virgin at 23 in this society. True or False?

Some issues I am trying to overcome is my low self confidence, because I don't have a great body. In other words I'm fat, not hideously fat, but my belly sticks out pretty good and I have an annoying but slight layer of extra chin. I am not ugly by any means though. I have a good job and career and I also recently bought an AWESOME car that chicks dig (as I see them stare) but I haven't been able to put any girl in it!!

For the longest time I pretty much think that my weight issue persists as the main problem. A man needs good self confidence to score with girls. But this weight issue has held that confidence low. And even though I've tried to counter this low confidence with bursts of pseudo-confidence, those moments proved fruitless.

Now, I am trying to lose the fat, but the key word is trying. I am utterly confused these days what works, what doesn't.

But some say that, It doesn't matter if your fat, as long as your good with communication.

Well, truth is, I suck with communication. Especially with girls. I end up too nerdy, technical, pessimistic, sarcastic.. in other words dull and unexciting. I tie up words and try to say witting things with utter failure and embarrassment.

As for approaching girls, I have no balls. I've analyzed why. It's because of low confidence of body appearance, paired with NOT HAVING ANY IDEA what to say past "hi" or "how's it going"

And finally, to put icing on the cake, I'm almost going partially bald, at this young age. GAY!! I have no means of making a "hairstyle"

I kinda have EVERYTHING going against me at this point. And I'm at the end of my ropes. Does anyone have any tips, links or recommendations of things to read to get a good from the ground up basics in seduction for this hip-hop loving, pot-smoking generation? Should I just gain some experience like hiring an escort on craigslist? (I have the $$) Should I go to the mall and target younger high school chicks that like to be with older guys??

These are all very simple problems dude. Simple problems=simple solutions.

1---start exercising. CARDIO IS A MUST. Please, just use your body and you will start to see results. Oh and this shouldnt be for the next few months or until you lose weight, you should exercise for the rest of your life. Its a life-long commitment.

2---your double chin. Grow a beard or goatee. it will start to go away as you start to exercise.

3---you going bald. Now a days so many guys are bald its no big deal. Its obviously not attractive BUT its not some rarity. Just shave your head or buzz it really close. So many guys have this haircut its even considered STYLISH

4---You not getting laid. Well you said you have a nice job and money to blow. I always figured, if your willing to get a prostitute, why not take that money, get a hotel on the beach for the weekend and blow all your money clubbing, and getting drunk at a bar. It'd be pretty hard not to hook up with someone.

Basically your in a circle. You have no sucess with women because you have low self esteem. You have low self esteem because you dislike your body and have no sucess with women. Just simply working out would solve most of these problems or at least put you on the right track to being happy.

So theres my advice to you. Now its up to you to put in the hard hours towards yourself

 

[nismo-4]

And secondly, GO SAY HI GOD DAMN IT! The only way you get better is practice, trust me most guys have no idea what they're going to say after hi when they approach, esp. beginning, they just try to go with the flow and if they don't have a good time they leave.

You have brought a glorious beacon of light to the OP, provided he follows this piece! :rockon:

Added on, after asking a girl out, the worst she can do is say no.

 

[jc.dunn]

Step 1: Forget about getting laid for a while. You need to sort yourself out before girls will like you.

Step 2: Get your life together. Your fat? Do something about it. Educate yourself. I've got a killer link for your fitness: www.stronglifts.com
Its free, no bull**** workout programs (5x5, you'll see) will have you burning fat and building muscle in no time. I've lost 25 pounds in the last 2 months and can lift more weight in every area. Girls are attracted to confident guys because they know they can take care of themselves. In the mean time, picture your ideal self. How does he talk to women? Is he afraid of women? (probably not). Quit getting hung up on your body and the fact that your a virgin and just act like the total badass awesome you would act instead of being the sniveling pudgy nerd that you THINK you are.

Step 3: Talk to girls. Crash and burn. Over and over and over. It doesn't matter, treat it like its a ****ing video game (i'm guessing you have lots of experiance with these). What do you have to lose? (nothing) What do you have to gain? (EVERYTHING). Logically it makes no sense not to go talk to girls, no matter how many times you get rejected.

 

[ElStud]

Disagree, there's plenty of reasons to lose weight. Health reasons for sure. If you view your weight as a problem, then it's time to lose it. You'll be more confident, which will in turn lead to you being more attractive, which can help you get laid. That's the naked truth.

Read my post again, I never there weren't any reasons to lose weight, I said don't lose weight cause you think it'll help you get laid.

If you lose weight for that reason, it might give you a little external confidence for a while, but when you see that half the girls don't even care that you lost weight, it'll lower your confidence. This is why I say lose weight for you, because you're gonna be dissapointed if you don't get a bunch of external validation.

 

[SuavePlaya]

It's not like event said he was on the verge of dying from weight. I mean it's good to workout and be somewhat fit. When you are losing weight to just get women you will expect to get women once you do lose that weight and when you don't get women you will only feel let down. If I were you event I would focus on my communication and approaching. Confidence isn't about losing weight, it's about practice in the field.

 

[Smack]

I figure that I must have some serious issues if I'm still a virgin at 23 in this society. True or False?

Unless you're deliberately abstaining from sex, then, as sad and offensive as this sounds ... yes.

Some issues I am trying to overcome is my low self confidence, because I don't have a great body. In other words I'm fat, not hideously fat, but my belly sticks out pretty good and I have an annoying but slight layer of extra chin. I am not ugly by any means though. I have a good job and career and I also recently bought an AWESOME car that chicks dig (as I see them stare) but I haven't been able to put any girl in it!!

For the longest time I pretty much think that my weight issue persists as the main problem. A man needs good self confidence to score with girls. But this weight issue has held that confidence low. And even though I've tried to counter this low confidence with bursts of pseudo-confidence, those moments proved fruitless.

Now, I am trying to lose the fat, but the key word is trying. I am utterly confused these days what works, what doesn't.

But some say that, It doesn't matter if your fat, as long as your good with communication.

Well, truth is, I suck with communication. Especially with girls. I end up too nerdy, technical, pessimistic, sarcastic.. in other words dull and unexciting. I tie up words and try to say witting things with utter failure and embarrassment.

As for approaching girls, I have no balls. I've analyzed why. It's because of low confidence of body appearance, paired with NOT HAVING ANY IDEA what to say past "hi" or "how's it going"

And finally, to put icing on the cake, I'm almost going partially bald, at this young age. GAY!! I have no means of making a "hairstyle"

I kinda have EVERYTHING going against me at this point. And I'm at the end of my ropes. Does anyone have any tips, links or recommendations of things to read to get a good from the ground up basics in seduction for this hip-hop loving, pot-smoking generation? Should I just gain some experience like hiring an escort on craigslist? (I have the $$) Should I go to the mall and target younger high school chicks that like to be with older guys??

But, at least you have identified your problems. You are more on the way to getting laid than some people (even some on this site!) that have not yet done this, and keep repeated the same things over and over again hoping that once, just one time, it will work.