So I was a rebound

[.Paradox.]

Which wouldn't usually be any kind of a problem, but ironically, I actually started to really like the girl--like, was planning on saying we should be exclusive. I'm digging this point in, because I'm extremely picky and almost never date seriously because of it. I legit haven't even thought of "wifeing up" a girl in over 8 years.

We saw each other three times and I thought had a great time each date. And yes, we had sex (every date). After the first two dates she made her interest in me very obvious via texts. She was initiating conversations quite a bit and we were texting frequently throughout the week.

Anyways, I'll get right to it... Tuesday I texted her saying I was thinking about her, she asked "about what", I told her "cuddling up next to you, wrapping my arms around you and kissing your neck." She said it "sounds lovely", then I told her I wanted to see her again soon--no response. As stupid as this sounds, I KNEW something was up right there just comparing it to her past behavior. So today I texted her...

ME: *name*, I know what we need...
HER: What's that?
ME: Another white claw night, but this time we drink them all.
HER: Listen I really enjoyed our time together but I feel like we didn't really vibe on a non-sexual level so I'm not sure I want to see you again. And I'm not just looking for casual sex with anyone.

Sh!t stung. Another issue with her is that she's just getting out of a relationship from 1-2 months ago, where the guy moved to another part of the country so they had to break up.

So yeah, that sucked ass.

 

[AttackFormation]

Who knows what it really is. I don't like obsessing and splitting hairs over what to say or what to text, but it could've been your texting that turned her off either right there because you changed your vibe or as the straw that broke the camel's back due to you not changing a vibe that was turning her off. The fact that she says she's not looking for casual sex could be a lie to you, or herself, or it could be the truth - or just the truth with you for whatever reason - and each case would be different. So again, who knows what it really is and because I don't feel I can say what it is, my advice is to not let it push you off balance. Just be happy with what you did have with her, accept it, never contact her again until she contacts you and if she does don't act desperate, and move on.

 

[.Paradox.]

Who knows what it really is. I don't like obsessing and splitting hairs over what to say or what to text, but it could've been your texting that turned her off either right there because you changed your vibe or as the straw that broke the camel's back due to you not changing a vibe that was turning her off. The fact that she says she's not looking for casual sex could be a lie to you, or herself, or it could be the truth - or just the truth with you for whatever reason - and each case would be different. So again, who knows what it really is and because I don't feel I can say what it is, my advice is to not let it push you off balance. Just be happy with what you did have with her, accept it, never contact her again until she contacts you and if she does don't act desperate, and move on.

Honestly, I never really changed the way I texted her. Even up to the text on Tuesday she was responding positively, then bam, not interested. It's just bizarre, in my opinion, for her to be reeeaaally into me after the first couple dates (I'm talking to the point where I was worried I was going to hurt her--seriously) then suddenly she's totally not interested. And the Friday before our third date she initiated with me, which led to the third date. This might seem stupid, but I more think that I was TOO sexual with her, which got her thinking that I only wanted sex from her, and somehow it spun out of control in her mind and she convinced herself that we didn't "vibe" non-sexually. But that also doesn't really make sense because she was very sexual too. Ugh who knows... I'd bet SHE doesn't even really know.

Also, after the texts in the OP, here's a small update:

Me: *told her I didn't just want sex from her and enjoyed hanging out, but that I respect her decision*

Her: I enjoyed it too!! I just haven't been single in a while and I don't want to enter a relationship or anything unless I feel like it's 100% right

Me: yeah I was a rebound. I get it

Her: Well if you want to put it like that then everyone is a rebound to me because I never give myself enough time to just be single

 

[Robert28]

Oh I know what she means. “I’m gonna ride the c0ck train awhile. Your ride was fun a few times but I want variety and you’ve had your turn”. I’m gonna call myself “single” while I slut it up awhile and wait on my ex who’s moving back in a few months but I just didn’t tell you that part.

 

[Focal core]

You dated a women who broke up only within 2 month??? I don't understand why guys are doing this, throwing themselves to be a s3x toys, almost everytime makes all the women feels all men are a trash. This is the one lesson youll learn mate and hope you'll do better next time.

 

[.Paradox.]

Oh I know what she means. “I’m gonna ride the c0ck train awhile. Your ride was fun a few times but I want variety and you’ve had your turn”. I’m gonna call myself “single” while I slut it up awhile and wait on my ex who’s moving back in a few months but I just didn’t tell you that part.

Yeah I got that vibe from her "I haven't been single in a while" comment. I also think she's still totally crazy about her ex... He's in the military and HAD to move across the country several months ago (not sure of the exact date, and they haven't seen each other in ~2 months (she went to visit him in June), yet she still likes every single one of his instagram pics.

 

[Korrupt]

Yeah I got that vibe from her "I haven't been single in a while" comment. I also think she's still totally crazy about her ex... He's in the military and HAD to move across the country several months ago (not sure of the exact date, and they haven't seen each other in ~2 months (she went to visit him in June), yet she still likes every single one of his instagram pics.

Don't beat yourself up. It sucks, but there ARE a lot more options out there. In a couple weeks you'll be laughing at this b!tch. And let's be honest, a girl this fvcked up is probably a hairdresser, stripper, bartender, or in some other dead-end, loser field that nutcase women are attracted to.

Here's my take on it... She's not over her ex, and is looking for a guy who can fill the "void" he left. She's telling you that you didn't fill that void (which no guy will/can), so she doesn't want to waste any more time seeing you that could be put towards other guys (who, once again, she HOPES will fill her "ex void"). What I'm saying is, she's searching for something/someone that likely doesn't exist. Eventually she'll get over him and will fall into another relationship because she'll think, "well I don't feel that longing for my ex anymore, so THIS guy must be the one!" In reality, this is wrong--she's just finally gotten over her ex. To be honest, that guy might have even been you if you had met her a little down the road. I have a feeling that if you had met this girl 2-6 months later this would have panned out differently.

 

[Medina]

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

She'll be bouncing around on the rebound for 6 months

Never good

 

[Murk]

Wow, 3 dates is not enough time to be thinking about “wifeying” anyone

Your “I’m thinking about you... cuddling up bla bla” stuff is nonsense! Save that for girls your actually seeing/gfs

She was just a month or so out of a relationship, say no more.

She’s not looking for casual, yet she bangs you 3/3 dates one month after a break up, yeah ok love. She just needs to ride the carousel for a bit, you had your (brief) turn.


Either way, none of it matters because she just wasn’t feeling you. Yes it hurts, it hurts when we’re not good enough for someone, we’ve all been there.

Dust yourself off and go again, simple as that.

 

[AttackFormation]

Yeah I got that vibe from her "I haven't been single in a while" comment. I also think she's still totally crazy about her ex... He's in the military and HAD to move across the country several months ago (not sure of the exact date, and they haven't seen each other in ~2 months (she went to visit him in June), yet she still likes every single one of his instagram pics.

She sounds like a nutcase...

 

[MillionBillionaire]

You haven't know her long enough for her narcissism to come out... consider bullet dodged.

OP ... NEVER text that puzzy fvcking shiit again ok? please ty.

Your text was creepy and anti seductive. Seduction leaves room for the imagination and excitement, you tried to make love through SMS witch is kuk. Might as well say babe I wanna stick my dik in you.

None of that matters much anyways even if you had perfect game she is broken.

anyways bro, 3 dates?

and you wanna wife her up? Daaaa faaaq You need to work on your wall.

 

[sazc]

Which wouldn't usually be any kind of a problem, but ironically, I actually started to really like the girl--like, was planning on saying we should be exclusive. I'm digging this point in, because I'm extremely picky and almost never date seriously because of it. I legit haven't even thought of "wifeing up" a girl in over 8 years.

We saw each other three times and I thought had a great time each date. And yes, we had sex (every date). After the first two dates she made her interest in me very obvious via texts. She was initiating conversations quite a bit and we were texting frequently throughout the week.

Anyways, I'll get right to it... Tuesday I texted her saying I was thinking about her, she asked "about what", I told her "cuddling up next to you, wrapping my arms around you and kissing your neck." She said it "sounds lovely", then I told her I wanted to see her again soon--no response. As stupid as this sounds, I KNEW something was up right there just comparing it to her past behavior. So today I texted her...

ME: *name*, I know what we need...
HER: What's that?
ME: Another white claw night, but this time we drink them all.
HER: Listen I really enjoyed our time together but I feel like we didn't really vibe on a non-sexual level so I'm not sure I want to see you again. And I'm not just looking for casual sex with anyone.

Sh!t stung. Another issue with her is that she's just getting out of a relationship from 1-2 months ago, where the guy moved to another part of the country so they had to break up.

So yeah, that sucked ass.

Apparently you didnt connect emotionally with her and hey perception of you was that you were just looking to sex her when you wanted

 

[sazc]

Honestly, I never really changed the way I texted her. Even up to the text on Tuesday she was responding positively, then bam, not interested. It's just bizarre, in my opinion, for her to be reeeaaally into me after the first couple dates (I'm talking to the point where I was worried I was going to hurt her--seriously) then suddenly she's totally not interested. And the Friday before our third date she initiated with me, which led to the third date. This might seem stupid, but I more think that I was TOO sexual with her, which got her thinking that I only wanted sex from her, and somehow it spun out of control in her mind and she convinced herself that we didn't "vibe" non-sexually. But that also doesn't really make sense because she was very sexual too. Ugh who knows... I'd bet SHE doesn't even really know.

Also, after the texts in the OP, here's a small update:

Me: *told her I didn't just want sex from her and enjoyed hanging out, but that I respect her decision*

Her: I enjoyed it too!! I just haven't been single in a while and I don't want to enter a relationship or anything unless I feel like it's 100% right

Me: yeah I was a rebound. I get it

Her: Well if you want to put it like that then everyone is a rebound to me because I never give myself enough time to just be single

Ah, okay. She's afraid of getting hurt so she's putting up walls. Nothing you can do about that.

Back off and do your thing, date. She'll probably hit you up agsin after some time, maybe even apologizing for acting rashley. You can decide what to do at that point.

Be cautions tho. This one definitely makes her decisions through the veil of her emotions

 

[Robert28]

You dated a women who broke up only within 2 month??? I don't understand why guys are doing this, throwing themselves to be a s3x toys, almost everytime makes all the women feels all men are a trash. This is the one lesson youll learn mate and hope you'll do better next time.

Women aren’t up front about they just got out of a relationship at the beginning when you first meet them. I’ve had this happen to me, they wait until you have put in a good bit of effort and THEN start springing it on you. They don’t tell all at once either. I didn’t know the girl I was seeing had been engaged to her ex she recently got dumped by until 3 months in. That’s something I’d kind like to know in the first couple days of meeting you but she hid it.

 

[Medina]

Ah, okay. She's afraid of getting hurt so she's putting up walls. Nothing you can do about that.

Back off and do your thing, date. She'll probably hit you up agsin after some time, maybe even apologizing for acting rashley. You can decide what to do at that point.

Be cautions tho. This one definitely makes her decisions through the veil of her emotions

"Afraid of getting hurt"

She wasn't afraid when she was taking it up the meat flap from OP on every date they had

He's acted too clingy too soon while she just wants more D to restore herself, that's what's going on

 

[Robert28]

Ah, okay. She's afraid of getting hurt so she's putting up walls. Nothing you can do about that.

Back off and do your thing, date. She'll probably hit you up agsin after some time, maybe even apologizing for acting rashley. You can decide what to do at that point.

Be cautions tho. This one definitely makes her decisions through the veil of her emotions

Your last paragraph is so true! I’ve experienced this with some women (mostly those with bad anxiety or depression issues). You are at the mercy of their emotions which can change like the wind. Eventually you become tired of being fine one week and her cussing you out the next even though you’re the same guy. They burn bridges with a lot of friends and they don’t keep friends a lot and it begins to make sense why.

 

[Focal core]

Women aren’t up front about they just got out of a relationship at the beginning when you first meet them. I’ve had this happen to me, they wait until you have put in a good bit of effort and THEN start springing it on you. They don’t tell all at once either. I didn’t know the girl I was seeing had been engaged to her ex she recently got dumped by until 3 months in. That’s something I’d kind like to know in the first couple days of meeting you but she hid it.

More reason why why girls can't be grow into a better women.. Never taking sometime alone to grow from past relationships, always rebound repeating same misery.

 

[Focal core]

Apparently you didnt connect emotionally with her and hey perception of you was that you were just looking to sex her when you wanted

I bet she's emotionally unavailable after only 2 month out of ltr, still thinking about ex bla bla bla.. But needs has to be met... S3x. Op just flip on her please... U dodge a bullet there.. Dont go there again and eat same shlt.

One more thing to know is emotional connection didn't occur within different emotional level between them (how emotionally healthy they are) what often called chemistry.. I bet again this one is only looking for s3x.

 

[sazc]

"Afraid of getting hurt"

She wasn't afraid when she was taking it up the meat flap from OP on every date they had

He's acted too clingy too soon while she just wants more D to restore herself, that's what's going on

I will never understand why it's SO important for guys to shred guys on this site? All it does is create men who are bitter AT women.

You have no solid "proof" of anything that you are saying except that you are hamster twisting what he posted, to purposefully try to shame him.

I'm basing my replies off of what she said and what he said his intuition is telling him. Stop the damn hamster wheel and take her words at face value

His intuition is correct, he was a rebound. Nothing more nothing less. There's no Machiavellian intent going on, lol

 

[Korrupt]

I will never understand why it's SO important for guys to shred guys on this site? All it does is create men who are bitter AT women.

You have no solid "proof" of anything that you are saying except that you are hamster twisting what he posted, to purposefully try to shame him.

I'm basing my replies off of what she said and what he said his intuition is telling him. Stop the damn hamster wheel and take her words at face value

His intuition is correct, he was a rebound. Nothing more nothing less. There's no Machiavellian intent going on, lol

I'll be real I agree with this. You guys are jumping to the conclusion that he was needy, but nothing the OP posted was truly needy. He even said that before the third date she initiated contact with him. And you guys are saying the text he sent was bad... When a girl likes you, she'll like those texts. Not constantly, but sending a lovey-dovey text like that can increase interest if done properly. If all you ever do is act like an emotionless anus, she'll get freaked out--it's happened to me--they think you don't care about them. Obviously we don't know the FULL story, but if I was a betting man, I'd bet that she's not "ready" to be in a relationship yet (based on what the OP has told us about her last relationship/ex situation).